“Do you believe in fate?”

Jinsoul poses the philosophical question one night over pizza. Very apropos.

Jungeun raises an eyebrow at her, mouth too full to speak.

“Like, soulmates and stuff.”

Jungeun hums contemplatively as she swallows her food. “Sure.”

Having been reaching over for another slice, Jinsoul’s hand stops in mid-air as she stares at her roommate. “Seriously?”

“Uh-huh.” Jungeun puts a slice on Jinsoul’s plate for her and proceeds to pick off the mushrooms.

Jinsoul becomes acutely aware of the gesture. She never liked mushrooms on her pizza – something she’s never vocalised, but Jungeun had noticed over the years. Considering her current state of affairs, Jinsoul can’t help but ponder if Sooyoung has ever done it for her too.

Jungeun interrupts her thoughts before she could find an answer. “I mean, some people just click so well, you can’t help but think it, right?”

“Like you and Jiwoo?” Jinsoul asks optimistically.

Jungeun almost chokes on her pizza. “You’ve been more forceful about getting me with Jiwoo lately. What’s up with you?”

Oh, nothing. It’s just that Cupid incarnate descended upon me to say that you are my destined life partner and I’ve been trying to convince myself that the universe is wrong and that we belong to different people. “Oh, come on, just admit you’re into her.” Please. I might actually be begging at this point. “Can’t you tell she likes you?”

“She doesn't like me like that,” Jungeun feebly protests. Even under the poor lighting, Jinsoul spots the reddening of her ears. A-ha! She's blushing! That’s something! Gowon, do you see this?!

“Hundred percent she does. She'd be great for you! You guys get along better than me and you, even.” Jinsoul wonders what it is about her that makes her better soulmate material for Jungeun than sunflower personified Kim Jiwoo herself. “Ask her out and I’ll stop bothering you about it.”

“Fine,” Jungeun surrenders to the sound of Jinsoul’s cheers. “What about you?”

“Do I believe in it?” Jinsoul pauses. “No.”

Jungeun snorts. “Then why'd you ask?”

“You’re not gonna believe me.”

“Try me.”

Jinsoul lets out an uneasy sigh. She drops her pizza on her plate.

“A girl I’ve never seen before came up to me claiming to be Cupid and told me that I’m not meant to be with Sooyoung, and I have to break up with her or else this girl will be banished. I think she called it,” her eyebrows draw together, “’eternal damnation’.”  

Jungeun’s eyes bug out before she bursts into boisterous laughter.

Jinsoul takes this as an opportunity to watch the way her best friend’s features crinkle in amusement, how her eyebrows and nose unflatteringly meet in the middle and how opens wide with each cackle.  

She watches, waiting for some physiological reaction to be triggered; perhaps a racing heart or warming cheeks, anything that might signal some new feeling of fondness or affection for Jungeun.

But…nothing.

No urge to say anything to her roommate except ‘you have an ugly laughing face’ or some other insult exchanged between seasoned friends. How can this girl be her soulmate, according to the verdict of greater forces, when Jinsoul doesn’t feel anything for her like she does for Sooyoung? It boggles her mind. Is there something wrong with her?

The lamp hanging above their two-person dining table flickers. Jinsoul wonders if Gowon’s watching. The paranoia’s been bothering her lately, as are three hundred other things.

“You’re right,” Jungeun utters between laughs, “I don’t believe you.”

Jinsoul groans. “But she knew things about me! Like my birthday!”

“That's on your social media. You know, publicly. For literally anyone in the world to see," Jungeun replies, taking a bite out of her pizza.

“But she knew other stuff, too! Like…like…” Jinsoul pauses.

What convinced her in the elevator that day was Gowon – Cupid, God, the writer of human fate, whoever or whatever she is – talking about her and Jungeun and the memories they’ve had together, romantically recapped for Jinsoul like the synopsis of a dreamy coming-of-age movie. Stuff Gowon shouldn’t know anything about unless she was seriously supernatural.     

But she can’t tell Jungeun any of that.

At her sudden silence, her roommate snorts at her. “She’s probably just a first year with no boundaries and a schoolgirl crush on her senior."

With no other alternatives, Jinsoul acquiesces.

“But hey, if she’s cute, maybe you’ll finally have a reason to break up with Sooyoung if you wanted to,” Jungeun comments with a shrug.

Taken aback by her casual frankness, Jinsoul gawks at her. “What? Why the hell would I do that?”

“Uh, you sleep over at her place less often and you don’t talk about moving in together anymore...?”

“So?” Jinsoul says, defensive, “she’s just been busier than usual...”  

“Well, all your drunken rants lately have been about her,” Jungeun crosses her arms and begins counting off with her fingers, “how high-strung and agitated she’s become, how she’s always busy, how she never makes any time for you, how you feel like you’re walking on eggshells around her so you two don’t get into another argument...”

A frown pulls down Jinsoul’s face as she slumps back in her seat, her appetite suddenly gone.

“Okay, okay, I get it,” she weakly retorts.

“I’m sorry...I just figured you’ve been thinking about it.”

She has, and much more intensely nowadays, especially with a baby-faced otherworldly being harping at her to get on with it already.

Jinsoul shifts in discomfort. “Do you really think it's time for us to call it quits?”

“That's not my decision to make. I think you should follow your instinct and do what you think is best for you,” Jungeun advises, her tone caring and worried.  

Jinsoul ignores the way Jungeun’s looking at her. “But I don’t want to break up with her.”

She has loved Sooyoung for almost six years. Jinsoul waited so long for her, how can she throw it all away now?

Jungeun lets out a loaded sigh. In it, Jinsoul can sense the disappointment and frustration, the concern and unease. Nuanced feelings only she can decode because of their years together, feelings she can't always read from Sooyoung.

Is this how it’s supposed to be like between soulmates?  Jinsoul wonders.

Jungeun gets up from the table to wash her hands.

“Figure it out, Jinsoul. I just hate seeing you like this.”

Jinsoul picks quietly at her pizza to the sound of running water, eyes set on the neglected mushrooms littering her plate.

 

***

 

The cubicle next to hers is empty. Before Gowon could wonder where Olivia is, Yeojin rolls her beloved ergonomic chair over to her desk.

“How’d it go, hot shot?”

“Terrible. She’s not even considering it,” Gowon grumbles. “Jinsoul really doesn’t grasp the ramifications of her actions. To make matters worse, she keeps encouraging Jungeun to go after someone else. And it's working! Ugh!” 

“Are you serious?” Her co-worker lets out a long whistle.

“She thinks losing Sooyoung is comparable to eternal damnation! I mean,” Gowon scoffs, “can you believe her?!”

It's not even an apples and oranges kind of thing, it's apples and perpetual hellfire.

Yeojin bursts into laughter. “You’d think after twenty million years of evolution, they’d have finer judgement by now,” she shakes her head, condescending in every bit, “tall order, I guess!”

“I’m running out of things to do.”

That resource-exhaustive, super secret strategy she’s been using for months and never told her co-workers about because she was afraid it might crash and burn on her? Well...let’s just say Gowon has already stolen countless bike wheels and killed too many car batteries, short-circuited the electricity too many times, and crashed enough computers to terminate an entire IT team.

Her idea bank of mundane inconveniences is very quickly whittling.

‘Plan #29: Test-Ha-Sooyoung’s-Patience-And-Steal-As-Much-Of-Her-Time-As-Possible-To-Induce-Breakup’ (the name is still a work in progress) has been pushed to its limits; any further and she might just drive the woman to insanity.

(That is not her job. Not in this department, at least.)

Besides, she’s starting to feel uneasy about funneling all her resources into something with such high nuisance value. Not to mention the increasing difficulty of hiding the plan from whoever’s responsible for Sooyoung’s file. It's strange; meddling in human affairs has never made her this anxious before. What is it about these two?

"I'll throw you a bone. Let me think," Yeojin rubs her chin in thought, “what if you kill Jinsoul off and then have her re-appear in front of Kim Jungeun, except resurrected in a hotter body? More charming, not as awkward. Instant love at first sight.”

Gowon grimaces. “I am not killing her off.”

“You sure? It’s surprisingly effective.”

“You’ve tried it before?!” Gowon exclaims, scandalised.

“Hey, it’s not enough to be creative around here, you gotta be gutsy too,” Yeojin says pointedly. “Look, when the going gets tough, the tough get going. Which means you need to pull out all stops. Don’t get soft on these humans! You’re not out of options, you just need to take greater risks and make some sacrifices.”

To put it into mortal terms, Yeojin is much like the metaphorical devil on her shoulder. Gowon can sense what she’s insinuating, but something (what is this feeling?! ) makes her hesitate. Her remaining options tread into uncharted (uncharted? But we’re capable of everything?!) territory.  

Suddenly, Yeojin dips out of the cubicle with a small yelp and Gowon turns just in time to catch their snippy supervisor passing by, glaring daggers at her as if to non-verbally remind her that time is ticking.

Alright, screw boundaries and screw protocol.

They’re supremely divine metaphysical forces of the cosmos, for Firmament's sake. She’s not about to be banished into nonexistence because of some pesky, powerless mortals!

 

***

 

Through the blinds, the sunrise streams into the bedroom in strips.

“I should go...”

“Just one more minute.”

“Our one-minutes always end up lasting one hour.”

Jinsoul hums as she snuggles into the crook of Sooyoung's neck. “Hmm, so?”

Sooyoung’s generous enough to let them lie in silence for a few seconds before she does the subtlest of squirms. “I have an early meeting today...”

“Another one? Fine,” Jinsoul grumbles sleepily, “whatever, Sooyoung.”

She immediately untangles herself, turning and burrowing into the warmth of the blankets in some attempt to displace the heat Sooyoung’s body emanated. The comfort she was relishing in dissipates into unspoken tension in a second.

Jinsoul notices that Sooyoung hasn't left yet when the weight on the bed doesn't lift. “Babe...” she hears over her shoulder.

“What?” Jinsoul can’t help but snap.

“You’re upset.”

“Because I just want to spend more than ten minutes with my girlfriend for once, but she’s always got more important things to do,” Jinsoul grumbles into the pillow. 

“That’s not– there’s nothing I can do about it,” Sooyoung retorts in a hushed huff, “I spent the night with you!”

“You came back at midnight and we slept next to each for six hours. Yup, that makes up for everything.”

Sooyoung frowns, softening her tone to placate her girlfriend. It’s too early for this. “Jinsoul, I’m sorry. It’s just, you know I've been swamped lately, they’ve been pushing me more at work and my seniors–”

“And your seniors expect you to wipe their asses too because they can’t do it themselves,” Jinsoul bitterly interjects, “I know. I’ve heard this a thousand times already. I just don't understand why you have to put so many things on your plate and do everything for everyone. I just wish you'd quit.”

If only Sooyoung would find a new job where she's treated better, but Jinsoul's too resentful to word it that way.

“I can't just quit! I thought you understood-” she pauses, stopping herself before she gets impatient, “come on, let's not get into this right n–”

Before she can finish, Sooyoung's abruptly interrupted by a ringtone. She groans as she reaches for her phone on the nightstand, clearing before begrudgingly answering the call.

“Hello?... Good morning, sir... Yes... I apologize, I’m on my way... I understand- yes...yes, sir...”  

Judging by the sudden change in her tone, Jinsoul can tell she’s talking to her superior. Sooyoung lets out a resounding sigh after hanging up.

“. Already yelling at me so early in the morning..." she gripes, running a hand through her matted hair.

Suddenly feeling guilty about the way she snapped earlier, Jinsoul opts to stay quiet. As bothered as she may be, she doesn’t want to add to Sooyoung’s stress. 

But how long do I have to keep doing this?

“We’ll talk tonight, okay?” Sooyoung murmurs to her, “feel free to stay here. If not, I’ll call you later.”  

Jinsoul feels the covers shifting, followed by a gentle kiss on the side of her head. Sensing the figure still hovering closely above her, she turns and finds Sooyoung gazing at her, remorse etched on her tired features.

“Sooyoung...”

“You're important to me, Jinsoul. If I could, I would spend every minute with you.”

There’s a remarkable sincerity in the way Sooyoung speaks that it gives credence to her words. Still, it doesn't fully settle Jinsoul's worries.  

“I know,” she finds herself replying anyway.

With a sigh, Sooyoung reaches up to squeeze her shoulder, giving her one last peck on the lips before getting up from the bed. Jinsoul pulls the blanket over her and curls into herself, listening distantly as Sooyoung fumbles around the room in haste.

An exhaustion pulls her eyes close as she submits to the sleepiness.

“Hey. I love you,” Sooyoung says from the door. “I’ll make it up to you as soon as I can, I promise.”  

But Jinsoul’s far too familiar with empty promises by now. When she doesn’t reply, she hears feet shuffle over to the bed, followed by arms wrapping tightly around her. Jinsoul doesn’t understand what’s come over Sooyoung; the girl just usually leaves quietly and quickly, but perhaps she feels guiltier about it today.

“You’re gonna be late, Soo...”

“Please don’t give up on me, okay?” Sooyoung whispers, “Please. I don’t want to lose you.”

And then she pulls away and rushes out of the room, leaving Jinsoul to process the rare moment of tenderness on her own.

 

***

 

A metaphorical light bulb flicks on in Gowon’s head.

She rolls her chair backwards and peeks into the adjacent cubicle, pleased to find that it’s occupied. Olivia has been rarely around these days, much to Gowon's disappointment. 

“Oh, Olivia! You’re here!” she exclaims cheerily, unaware of the smile subconsciously taking over her face. “Where’s Choerry? She might have some advice about what to do with Jinsoul and–“

“She’s busy,” Olivia interrupts, shaking her head, “ask Yeojin for help instead.” 

“Did someone say my name? Disclaimer that I never provide counsel for free–“ comes a voice from the cubicle across theirs. Yeojin’s cut off by the ringing of the rotary telephone on her desk.

Gowon’s smile disappears as quickly as it appeared as she glares at Olivia.

“Why are you always like that about Choerry? You can’t help me, and now you won’t even let her give me some advice! Do you even care about me being banished from the office?!“

“Huh? Of course, I care!” Olivia retorts, eyebrows sloping inwards at Gowon’s outburst. “It’s just that– ugh, she’s busy with her assignment!“

“Boss lady just called,” Yeojin interrupts, “employee evaluations have been moved to next week.”

“What?!” Gowon nearly falls off her seat. “Okay, I’m convinced this is just a ploy to cast me off to the abyss sooner than later. Someone obviously doesn’t want me working here anymore.”

Olivia frowns. “That’s not true...”

“I’m breaking those two up, no matter what!” Gowon exclaims, a fire sparking in her as an unknown force suddenly propels her to her feet. Yeojin shouts whoops of encouragement as Gowon stomps her way down the aisle of cubicles.

Something brings her to an abrupt stop - namely, a deafening ‘Gowon!’ from a usually jaded co-worker.

Whoa. Olivia never yells.

Heads turn, eyes shadowed by dark circles glaring. The culprit in question looks like a deer in headlights, torn between staying on the spot and letting everyone in the office hear what she’s about to say, or running after Gowon to furtively whisper it to her instead. 

Gowon sees Olivia’s mouth move but can’t make out the words.

“What are you trying to say?!” she yells back. The heads of their startled co-workers move back and forth between them like spectators at a tennis match.

Olivia swallows. “I-I said,” a bit louder this time, “just try to show her some empathy!”

Weary eyes blink at each other in confusion. The silence in the office gradually grows to quiet murmurs, and then everyone turns back to their desk, returning to whatever work they had temporarily put on hold to watch the spectacle that is Olivia Hye raising her voice.

Gowon furrows her eyebrows.

Olivia gives her a subtle nod before disappearing behind her cubicle, dipping back in embarrassment. 

Gowon is left to tilt her head and ponder on her words. But she’s not entirely sure what Olivia means and her existence’s expiration date is fast approaching, so she has no time to go back and ask.

Jinsoul first. 

 

 

 

(“Well, that was weird,” Yeojin quips with an amused snort as she watches Olivia slink back to her desk.

“Shut up, Yeojin.”

“Sure. But first, what the hell is an ‘empathy’?”)

 

***

 

When she leaves the lecture hall, she spots a familiar figure by the display case. Gowon's fur-lined pink coat and glistening silver hair stands out from a mile away.

Jinsoul doesn’t get to escape in time, though, because Gowon sees her too. Cupid incarnate tears her attention away from admiring her own reflection and glides over.

“Finally, I’ve been waiting for twenty minutes!”

Grabbing her arm firmly, Gowon tugs the surprised girl into an empty hallway. 

“Christ, I’m begging you to please leave me alone!” Jinsoul cries, crossing her arms sheepishly when a passing student eyes them curiously. She lowers her voice to a hushed whisper. “How did you find me? Again?!”

“Seriously? I thought you’d get it by now that asking me questions starting with ‘how’ is futile.” (How has Jinsoul not caught on to the whole ‘I know everything there is to know about the world, I dictate what is to be known’ thing?)

“We are not doing this again.”

“You’re remarkably strong-willed, but it inspires me to be just as relentless.”

Jinsoul glares at her. She may hold doubts when she’s with Sooyoung, but in front of Gowon, she finds herself wanting to fight for their relationship more intensely than she ever has in front of anyone else.

“How do you know who I should be with? Why do you get to dictate how I feel? Can you read my mind? You can’t, can you?” she swiftly fires.

“Well, no,” Gowon sputters, “we are not necessarily privy to your innermost thoughts–”

“Exactly!”

“–But I’ve watched you your entire life! I know you!”

“That’s creepy!”

“Girl, it’s my job!” Gowon hisses. “Why are you so stubborn?!”

Jinsoul crosses her arms, jaw tensing. She suddenly remembers what Sooyoung told her this morning, and hope supplants her doubt.

“You think I’d still fight this hard if I knew Sooyoung wouldn’t want me to? I’m not budging.”

“Or maybe you’re just grasping at straws because you’re desperate to believe she’s as in love with you as you are with her!”

At the unexpected remark, Jinsoul’s eyes widen in hurt. She jabs a finger into Cupid's shoulder.

“Don’t go there, don’t gaslight me. You know nothing about her, your judgement is based on perception and a couple of pages in a manila folder.”

Gowon purses her lips. Jinsoul refuses to back down, but she's not about to surrender either.

“Jinsoul,” she warns sternly, “is this really the hill you want to die on? Because I refuse to perish here.”

“Yes,” Jinsoul answers plainly, like it’s the most obvious thing in the world, “I’m more than willing to die on this hill.”

“At my expense?!”

Jinsoul’s face flashes a look of guilt. Subtle, but visceral. She quickly veils it with bravado. “Look, I don’t know you! You’re not even a person! You’re not anything! And nothing you say or do is going to change my mind!”

Stomping her foot with a scowl, Gowon almost looks cartoonish. “Well, you won’t like what I can do,” she cautions, “and I will do it if you force my hand.”

The vague threat, if that’s what it can be called, falls on deaf ears. Jinsoul just side-steps around her, ready to march off. Sooyoung promised her they’d talk tonight, and she doesn’t want to waste her breath on this any longer.

At seeing Jinsoul about to walk away from her again, Gowon yells after her in an abrupt bout of exasperation: “Jung Jinsoul! Do you know how many times I’ve already tried to break you two up?! The number of fingers would not be humanly possible! I've gone such great lengths!”

Jinsoul comes to a halt and glances over her shoulder. Gowon’s staring at her with wild eyes, an unusually funny look from such an adorable face.

“What are you talking about?” she asks blankly. 

“Where do I even start? I’ve popped her tires. I’ve stalled the metro so she’d be late to urgent meetings. I’ve spilled coffee on her and everyone around her. I’ve replaced all her pens with inkless ones. I’ve messed with her boss so he’d be more irritable. I’ve had classmates fall sick so she’d be dumped with more coursework. I’ve turned every light red on her commute to her internship...” Gowon goes on to list a couple more in sudden desperation, “all these, several times. But I can’t keep doing it anymore! Don’t make me resort to pushing her so far that she’ll directly hurt you!”   

Something in the air shifts. Brows deeply furrowed, Jinsoul spins on the balls of her feet to glare at her incredulously. "Excuse me?" 

Gowon finds herself gulping. 

“That was you? This entire time?” Jinsoul utters in disbelief, “you mean all this ...was your doing? I...”

She recalls periods over the past few months during which Sooyoung would go through a spell of misfortune, but they always soldiered through it, chalking it up to bad luck and even joking about what wrongs Sooyoung must’ve committed in her past life to receive such karma. Minor inconveniences build up, though. Sooyoung’s been so wound up and erratic lately that it’s driven an evident wedge between them - but that was the point all along. The friction was purposeful. It was all Gowon.

Talk about a sabotage scheme of deific proportions.

Astonished, the rest of Jinsoul’s words catch in . Her skin crawls with discomfort. This seriously can’t be real.

“This is all your fault,” she murmurs as she heaves in a deep breath. “But...why? Why would you punish Sooyoung instead of me?”

The thought of Sooyoung going through such unfair harassment because of her twists Jinsoul's stomach into a thousand unpleasant knots. She feels like throwing up.

“I’m sorry, but it was just logical, you see,” Gowon replies calmly, “she scores highly on neuroticism and conscientiousness – easy to stress and overwhelm. I concluded she would be the optimal target for such directed action, given my time constraints.”  

Jinsoul had asked for it, but can’t even process Gowon’s mechanical answer.

“Unfortunately, you are devoted to a fault. In the centuries I’ve done this, your attachment to each other is...” Gowon grimaces as she searches for the right word, “...it’s anomalous! I cannot control the confounding variable if I can’t understand it!”

Nothing can subdue the coming migraine pounding in Jinsoul’s ears. On one hand, it puts her mind at rest that neither she nor Sooyoung were fundamentally responsible for their recent discord. They just unluckily found themselves at the crosshairs of a very desperate deity – and for what? Being in love?

On the other hand, all of this just seems so absurdly diabolical that the anger overwhelms the relief.

“Do you even how ing twisted that is? Meddling with her life like that?! It’s wrong, Gowon!” she yells, indignant, a fire lit behind glassy eyes. “What the !”

Taken aback by the sight of Jinsoul about to burst into tears, Gowon freezes up.

“It’s- it’s my responsibility! I literally exist to do this! I’m just looking out for you, Jinsoul–”

“Hurting the person I love is not looking out for me!”

“I know you don’t like this, but it’s the position I’ve been put in. It was a last resort. You just can’t understand the gravity of my predicament, but I need you to comply!”

Jinsoul starts pacing, eyes tightly shut as she runs a shaking hand through her hair. This goes on for five more minutes and she shuts Gowon up every time she tries to say a word, leaving ‘Cupid incarnate’ staring helplessly at the mortal.

Finally, she comes to a stop in front of Gowon. They don’t have a drastic height difference, but Jinsoul feels like she's towering over the silver-haired girl right now.

“You’re right,” she says, voice taking on an unnatural steeliness that Gowon's hearing from her for the first time, “I don’t understand your plight and I don’t think I ever can. You literally determine fate. Fate!  Something so beyond what I can grasp, it’s almost like you’re untouchable.”

Gowon swallows under the scrutiny of the tense human in front of her, wondering if this feeling is what they call ‘fear’.

“But you’re not. You’re here, in the flesh. Which means I can do things to you,” Jinsoul slowly explains, as if she too is figuring this out as she speaks, “I have agency. I’m not a puppet on a string. I can walk away from you, like I’ve done before and like I will do today.”    

And, marching to the beat of her own drum, Jinsoul does just that.

“Wait!” Gowon presses for the last time at the retreating figure. “Explain it to me, at least! Help me understand why you’re like this!”

She shouldn’t waste her time, but when she looks back, Jinsoul finds Gowon looking at her with wide, desperate eyes. Being the human one here, after all, she relents to the puppy dog anguish with a sigh.

“Look, maybe what you do – the matchmaking – works better in theory than in practice. This isn’t something you can calculate from your observations because it’s not always predictable,” she explains. Her thoughts flood of Sooyoung, of her laughter and her touch, of inexplicable emotions and desires. Her pulse races. This is what it feels like to love. “It’s not always something you can control. Neither can I.”

Maybe in many ways, her and Jungeun were the perfect set-up to a fairy tale. But Sooyoung has the distinction of being her first love, someone Jinsoul’s been smitten with ever since the girl kissed her in the girls’ washroom during their first year of high school. It's not something she can fully understand, but the feelings have only amplified as time went on, becoming more organic the more effort they put into each other. 

Effort. And it’s then Jinsoul realises where the difference lies in who she is choosing.

“Lovers can’t just be assigned and blindly accepted. You know why?” she explains, “because it requires persistence and patience and work. I can’t help what I feel for Sooyoung and I’ve made up my mind to commit to it.”

Gowon stares at her, the bemusement on her face glaringly transparent. She’s at a loss for words, stilled by the distress of the only beliefs she’s ever known getting picked apart by every word Jinsoul tells her.

“How can you possibly understand? It’s human,” Jinsoul replies, shrugging lightly, “I’ve said this to you before.”

Gowon may claim to be all-knowing, but perhaps there are certain nuances to humanity that she has yet to uncover.

Damn, if this isn’t world-shattering news, then Jinsoul doesn’t know what is.

Cocking her head in interest at Gowon’s change in disposition, Jinsoul suddenly feels a pang of sympathy for her. She reaches up to squeeze her shoulder and Gowon visibly startles at the unfamiliar action, mystified eyes darting from Jinsoul’s hand to her face.

“I’m sorry,” Jinsoul murmurs. If she could save both Gowon and her relationship with Sooyoung, she would. “I just can’t give up on her, Gowon. I’d never live it down if I do.”

She hopes Gowon can grasp the weight of her intentions.  

“And please...quit it with the meddling,” she pleads quietly, “you’re just wasting your energy. Leave her – us – alone. Please.”

And then Jinsoul walks off without looking back. As her phone buzzes with texts from Sooyoung, the only thing she wants to do right now is to see her and give her a hug.

 

***

 

Armed with a changed perspective, Jinsoul finds success in patching things up with Sooyoung.

Their talks feel less like empty words bouncing off each other as she has become more understanding and Sooyoung less exhausted. It appears Gowon has stopped interfering with Sooyoung’s life because she’s been more like herself lately. Sooyoung dedicates time to her, as she had always promised between the reluctant goodbyes and the rushed exits. After work, she readily melts into Jinsoul’s arms and coos about how she makes the aches of the day dissipate.

In the past few days, Jinsoul has wondered what has happened to Gowon more than a couple times. She found herself feeling sad if she thought about it for too long, though.

But why should I be bothered when she was trying to break us up?

How can I feel bad for someone who isn’t even a person?

When gods die, are they gone forever?

Though entertained, the thoughts dispel the moment she feels Sooyoung’s warmth against her.

She’s starting to feel more like a source of alleviation than of burden. Jinsoul didn’t know just how badly she had been craving this sense of normalcy until Sooyoung spent an entire day with her without a single interruption. It feels like their good days again. Admittedly, Jinsoul doubted her during her most pessimistic bouts, but Sooyoung’s been living up to her word, sometimes even going above and beyond.

It makes all the trouble she went through sticking up for them against divine ruling every bit worth it.

 

***

 

“She said she was Cupid, but Jungeun thinks she was just a freshman with a crush on me.”

The sun brings warmth and snow-reflected light into their room as they cuddle in bed.

Jinsoul doesn’t tell Sooyoung about Gowon. Not the entire truth, at least. She doesn’t like it, but maybe this is one of those things she’ll just have to keep to herself for the rest of her life.

“Huh?” Sooyoung props herself up on her elbow, “Cupid?”

“I know, it sounds crazy.”

“Is that how people pick up girls nowadays?” Sooyoung purses her lips, pretty features pulled into a petulant grimace. “You better have told her you had a girlfriend.”

Jinsoul laughs. “Oh, don’t tell me you’re jealous.”

She cradles Sooyoung’s pouting face, tugging her in for a kiss.

“How could I not be,” Sooyoung whines against her lips.

“Well, you’ve got nothing to worry about, I told her I had a soulmate already.” She pulls away to find Sooyoung grinning at her.

“Soulmate? Do you think the universe put us together?”

That draws a chuckle out of her. “Not necessarily,” Jinsoul admits, “but my life would sure feel empty without you. And all of this feels just right...”

Beneath the covers, Sooyoung’s arm snakes around her waist, her touch leaving a warm trail, as she nuzzles into Jinsoul. Her nose traces the shell of her ear, her jaw, all the way down to her neck, taking her in as if time slowed for them. 

“I love it when you get all sweet on me,” she coos between peppering kisses.

Jinsoul lets out a pleased hum at the fingernails softly scratching her back. Fireworks go off in her chest as she chuckles. “Do you?”

“Mh-hm, seriously,” Sooyoung murmurs, “I'm so in love you, Jinsoul, to hell with whatever Cupid says.”

 

***

 

Gowon drags her feet pass rows of cubicles that seem to go on forever. She walks by office workers buried in mountains of paperwork, hunched over and gazes glued to blinking numbers on display screens.

Gowon thinks about Jinsoul. It’s clear now: the mortal wants to be in control of her own destiny, nevermind all the backbreaking work they do up here. Is this really out of her hands? Then what are they all stuck up here and working so hard for?

(Is this poetic justice? That they’re prisoners of concepts constructed by mortals, of cultures and human minds, the very things they themselves indirectly invented in the next department over?)

For the first time since she started working here – and it has felt like an eternity – Gowon questions the work she does.

In her cubicle, she packs her personal belongings up in a box. It isn’t much; three slinkies, half a jar of sweethearts, a pink fidget spinner, a bow and arrow, a framed photo of a clergyman (Saint Valentine) and another of the Tinder logo, a purple Nerf gu–

“You’re leaving?”

Gowon swivels her head to find Olivia looking at her worriedly. She had been packing up quietly, but Olivia seems to notice everything. Or at least, everything Gowon does.

“I’m shelving the Jinsoul case,” Gowon says, “and my recent assignments can’t make up for my poor scores, so my prospects aren’t looking so great, Oli.”

“But you can’t give up yet!”

Gowon tries to read her expression based on what she has seen on Jinsoul’s face. She’s upset...? Disappointed? Sad?  Something churns in her stomach, as if seeing it makes her feel upset too.

“There’s nothing I can do about Jinsoul and Sooyoung, it seems like my intrusion just strengthened their bond. I don’t want to keep interfering, it doesn’t feel...right. Which I know doesn’t make any sense, but- ugh! I don’t know what I’m feeling!”

She had been monitoring them for the past few days. Jinsoul’s plea for her to leave them alone seems to have struck some kind of chord because Gowon immediately withdrew. Since then, the two have been in record-breaking high spirits, even showing better statistics than most successful couples they’ve paired. For the first time ever, Gowon can’t comprehend it. 

“You feel something weird, don’t you?” Olivia murmurs.

Gowon slumps into her chair. Weird is a good word to describe it.

“Is this what you meant by ‘showing empathy’?”

“I don’t really know what to call it. I just picked up that word down there...” Olivia replies with a hesitant shrug. Weird is also a good word to describe the action of applying mortal concepts to themselves.

Olivia has always appeared to have an astute understanding of humans, despite her aloofness. She never slept through the human interaction seminars, for one, and she also has had her fair share of earth visits. She just never seemed to like talking about it, though. Better listener than she is a talker. Maybe that’s why Gowon, who could probably talk anyone’s ear off, gets along so well with her.

And maybe that’s why Gowon finds the courage to voice out her worries.

“Aren’t we supposed to be working for their benefit? Everything we do is to better their lives, not make them miserable. We’re supposed to bring people together, not break them up!” she grouses, crossing her arms in frustration.

Finding immense pride in having homewrecking prowess is a Yeojin thing. Not a Gowon thing.

When Olivia puts a hand on her shoulder, Gowon feels the tension leave her body. Jinsoul did the same thing to her, but it feels different coming from Olivia. She can’t quite put her finger on why, though.

“We’ve been doing this for eternity. And when you see the callous ones – like Yeojin – consistently get the best scores, I can’t help but think we’ve lost our way a little bit,” Olivia mutters, voice fading as she ruminates over something, “but Choerry’s up there too, so there’s hope for improvement.”

At the mention of their cheery co-worker, Gowon purses her lips. She can comprehend this feeling now, at least: jealousy. And it's gross. 

“Well, without me around, Choerry can be your favourite now,” she grumbles, turning back to her desk. 

Taken aback by the sudden statement, Olivia blinks at her. “What do you mean? You’ll always be my favourite, no one's changing that."

Gowon abruptly stops playing with her slinky as something swells inside her. A different feeling. She shrugs off the unfamiliarity.

“Right. Uh, yes, as I should be,” she mutters, cheeky as if she’s not about to malfunction on the spot.

“And you’re not going anywhere. Just wait a little bit, please, I’m...” Olivia gnaws on her bottom lip and Gowon, perhaps for the first time ever (many firsts today...), is unable to figure out why she's acting like this, “I’m going to do something about this.”

A touching gesture, but what can she possibly do? After a short moment of silence, Gowon stands up from her chair. She can’t bring herself to look at Olivia, so she directs her gaze elsewhere.

“I know you want me to be optimistic, so I’m going to go watch Jinsoul and Sooyoung in person for the last time. In the off chance I make it through this, I need to at least figure out how those two defy everything we do.”

And she also can’t be within Olivia’s vicinity right now or she might just combust for reasons unknown. Gowon dips out of her cubicle without a second glance.

 

***

 

Jinsoul spots her only ten minutes into surveillance. Gowon yelps and ducks behind the tree, but much to her dismay, Jinsoul appears and grabs her fur hood before she can escape.

“I’m not here to meddle, I promise!” she sputters.

“I know!” Jinsoul says unexpectedly with a massive smile on her face. 

Huh. This is the least hostile she’s been in all their interactions so far. In fact, she almost seems friendly! And approachable?!

Still, Gowon shields herself. “I know I’m an all-powerful being, but if you want to hit me, just know that I will feel it.”

Jinsoul laughs. “No! I actually wanted to thank you,” she says, “because Sooyoung’s much less agitated nowadays and we’re a lot happier.”

“Oh," Gowon plays with the fur on her coat, "um, you’re welcome...?”  

“What’s going to happen to you? Are you leaving? Forever?”

Gowon shrugs. “Maybe eternal damnation won’t be as bad as everyone makes it out to be. How would they know, right? They’ve never been there.” She lets out a strained chuckle at her own joke, but Jinsoul just frowns.

“I’m really sorry,” the mortal says, eyebrows upturned. Seeing the guilt-ridden look on her face – Jinsoul is expressive to a fault – Gowon feels the sudden urge to reciprocate the apology.

“No, I’m sorry,” she finds herself saying, “up to this day, I’ve always made people think they had a choice when they never really did, but you were the first one to see through that. You’re right, though. The universe shouldn’t feel like it’s working against you. I just genuinely wanted the best for you.”

She purses her lips and squirms. Gowon's inexperienced when it comes to baring such transparent compassion to a human being.

It doesn’t help that Jinsoul’s looking at her all weird, like she’s about to cry, but not the sad kind of tears. “I know,” she even says. Softly.

“I’ve accepted that the best for you is Sooyoung,” Gowon admits, teetering on her feet, “I still don’t completely get it though. It’s a deviation from an age-old matchmaking system.”

Jinsoul chuckles, light and airy, very unlike the loud unruly cackles she lets out at every single joke Sooyoung cracks. Humans are strange. “Maybe try taking a page out of our book and attribute it to some supernatural phenomenon?” she suggests. 

Oh, that’s right. Human beings always find a way to make sense of things. But for Gowon to try it herself? Unheard of! “I...I can try, I guess...”

There’s a fond earnestness to Jinsoul’s tone as she speaks. “I just love her a lot, Gowon. How should I explain it?” she smiles warmly, “I feel like my best self around her and I want her to be her best self around me. And for that, she’s who I want to see every night before I sleep and every morning after I wake up. It’s not really that complicated.”

“You don’t feel that way around Jungeun?”

“Eh, not quite. I mean, I love her to bits too,” Jinsoul laughs, “but it’s different. Who says I can’t have more than one true soulmate?”

Now, that’s just a ludicrous proposition.

“Uh, the laws of the universe?” Gowon states, blinking slowly in bewilderment. “The rules.”

“Okay, maybe it’s ambitious of me to question the laws of the universe,” Jinsoul says sheepishly, “but hey, as cliché as it sounds, rules are meant to be broken. Love takes on a lot of forms!”

Gowon’s only ever been required to know one form. “I’m sorry if I’m slow to process this, I’ve just believed the opposite for as long as I’ve existed.”

This time, Jinsoul guffaws. “See, you’re as stubborn as I am!” she exclaims, only to soften once she sees Gowon’s perplexed gaze. “Hey, you’re going to be okay, right?”

“Me? Of course,” Gowon reassures her nonchalantly, “I’m not human. We do not experience pain or emotions like you do, or at least not in the same way.”

(She isn’t entirely sure whether that was directed at Jinsoul or herself.

Either way, Jinsoul doesn’t seem convinced.)

“Liar. Could it be...you’ve been infected by humanness?! Uh-oh,” Jinsoul gasps dramatically as she brings a hand to her chest. “Don’t worry, Gowon, gods don’t have to be perfect. I guess you gotta be a little human to be able to make humans.”  

Flustered, Gowon’s eyebrows meet in the middle. “Excuse me? Now that’s just silly.”

She is not about to be patronized by a mortal as she stands on the brink of being banished to the pit of Tartarus.

Before she could further protest, Jinsoul suddenly pulls her in for a hug. Gowon becomes stiff in her hold, arms frozen at her sides.

“What- what is happening?” she stammers.

“This is called a hug,” she hears Jinsoul say into her hair, “it’s a human thing.”

The only reply Gowon can muster is an awkward chuckle. She knows what a ‘hug’ is; it's a gesture between mortals that boosts heart health, reducing blood pressure and cortisol levels while increasing oxytocin. Obviously. She just doesn’t know why she’s receiving one right now.   

New sensations bloom in her chest, a foreign sort of warmth among them, strangely soothing. Weird, she thinks, gotta ask Vivi about this when I get back...

Jinsoul pulls away with a bright smile. “A hug! Just because.”

Gowon stays rigid, suddenly not knowing what to do with her hands. Or her legs. Or any appendages attached to her body.

“Um. Okay. Well, I should probably get going–”

Just as she was about to excuse herself and skip off to disappear forever, someone saunters up to Jinsoul, long arms slinking around her waist from behind and a sharp chin propping on her shoulder.

“Hey, babe,” Sooyoung greets, but the skeptical once-over she gives Gowon betrays her sweet tone, “who’s this?”

The brunette’s cautious, territorial glance makes Gowon squirm, as if she wasn’t the one who hung Sooyoung’s entire sanity on a string for months. Huh, funny how the tables have turned. The unexpected power switch sends a nervous heat creeping up her neck.

“This is Gowon, she was just saying hi,” Jinsoul whispers, amused, as she leans into Sooyoung.

“Oh, you’re that girl.” Sooyoung’s glare instantly sharpens. “Do you have a crush on Jinsoul or something?”

“P-pardon?” Gowon’s widened eyes dart to Jinsoul for help but she finds the girl smirking at her. She’s clearly getting a kick out of this. Whatever this is.

“Look, I get it if you do – she’s pretty and lovely and amazing – but you should quit while you’re at it, for your own sake,” Sooyoung lectures pointedly, pulling her girlfriend closer. Gowon does not understand the obscure warning. “Hope you're catching my drift, Gowon.”

Jinsoul snickers. “Sooyoung, be nice. She’s harmless.”

Harmless? She is literally an otherworldly force of nature. But Gowon decides to swallow her pride...

“Um, I want no trouble,” she blurts out, slightly (very) intimidated, “I was just leaving actually! Goodbye!”

She begins to walk backwards in stumbling steps before spinning on her heels, kicking snow beneath her boots as she marches.

“See ya, Gowon!” she hears Jinsoul call from behind. Gowon glances over her shoulder just in time to see the mortal affectionately hit the arms wrapped around her. Sooyoung’s lips jut out in a pout. Gowon turns back around just as Jinsoul leans in for a kiss.

They look happy.

Gowon starts humming to herself. She doesn’t feel daunted anymore, even with eternal damnation on the horizon. Perhaps this is just her destiny.

And she’s okay with that.

 

***

 

On the eve of her banishment, Gowon almost shrieks in surprise when Olivia comes stumbling into her nearly empty cubicle.

“Olivia? What’s going o–“

“I can save you! You can appeal your case!”

“Huh?”

“So, Choerry and I have been spending countless axial rotations digging through the filing cabinets in archives and finally,” she holds up the manila folder clutched tightly in her hand, “we found it.”

“What? Archives? Found what?”

So that’s where Olivia’s been every time Gowon snuck a peek at her workspace only to find it empty? That’s why Choerry’s rarely around and why Olivia always covers for her? How could they even find anything in that boundless expanse of a room?!

“It took us a while, but all we needed was one instance in the entire history of the department...”

“Of what?”

Olivia’s voice lowers into a whisper. “Platonic soulmates.”

“What?” Gowon blinks.

“It was initially a failed assignment before it was reconsidered and eventually catalogued as non-romantic after board approval.”

Gowon’s face contorts in disbelief. “That’s...a real thing?”

Loophole proposals are basically an urban legend around the office. Frankly, Gowon never believed in romantic feelings being optional and no one’s ever had half a mind to look into it. That is, until Olivia and Choerry.

“Wait, wait, you’ve spent how many orbital periods looking for this?”

Olivia shakes her head. “Ask questions later, the evaluations are tomorrow. I’ve already started working on a pitch for you–“

“Whoa, what?” Gowon raises her brows, skeptical, “are you sure about this? Is this even going to work? Does the trade union know?!”

She can’t put Olivia and Choerry’s careers on the line for a shot in the dark!

“Yes– kind of- well, no– anyway, it’s worth a shot,” Olivia explains hurriedly, “besides, I don’t want you to leave. You can’t! I will not let you sacrifice your existence for Jung Jinsoul, even if you think it’s worth it! There are lousier employees here, too, I refuse to see you condemned to damnation before Yeojin! So just trust me on this!”

Taken aback by Olivia’s passionate outpouring, Gowon’s overcome with that same warmth she felt bubble inside when Jinsoul hugged her, except much less foreign.

And so she pounces, enveloping Olivia in a tight embrace. A passing coworker with weathered eyes lifts a confused eyebrow at them.

“W-what are you doing?” Olivia mutters, eyes widening at the sudden display of affection. “Why are you hugging me?”

“I don’t know,” Gowon replies with a smile, “just because.”  

With that response, she feels arms timidly wrap around her in reciprocation.

 

***

 

Six months later – or: after the passage of half a complete orbital period

 

It’s been about 182.5 full rotations – approximately six Gregorian months – since Gowon has checked in on the aftermath of Mission Impossible.

She doesn’t typically revisit her successful couples, opting to shelf the folder once it gets the stamp of approval before cracking her fingers and moving on to the next mortal on her plate. There’s another million individuals to take care of, after all.

But, well, Jung Jinsoul’s a bit of a special case.

She reappears one day in her distinguishing pink coat and silver tresses. Amidst spring flowers, her autumn-winter attire sticks her out like a sore thumb. Gowon can’t take it off, though, because it’s the only way Jinsoul can spot her from across the hill.

If physical transformations were to signal anything, a new stage – be it in self-growth or in a relationship – would be it. Sure enough, the mortal’s traded out her blonde for jet black hair and wispy bangs. Gowon watches as Jinsoul excuses herself from Sooyoung (also sporting a new shoulder-length cut, well-suited for the summer) with a kiss, prying away from her hold. Jungeun and Jiwoo are there too, seated on the opposite side of the picnic table and glued to each other’s sides.

Jinsoul’s walk turns into a jog and then a full-on sprint as she makes her way over. “Gowon?! Is that you?”

“Hello, Jinsoul! I am here to tell you that I empathize with you, which is a new and strange concept to me, but–”

Gowon’s words abruptly choke to a stop as Jinsoul tackles her in a welcoming hug. She staggers backwards, laughing in amusement.

“I thought you were eternally damned?!”

Her own laughter tapers into sheepish chuckles. “Some kind friends may have helped me find a way around it...”

“Friends? You mean there’s more of you out there? Oh my god.”

“You think I can handle seven billion love lives on my own?”

“Uh, yes? You’re an all-knowing metaphysical entity,” Jinsoul deadpans.

Gowon scoffs. “Please, you were already such a handful. If I was the only one working, I would volunteer to be banished to the netherworld.”

Jinsoul rolls her eyes playfully. “How’d you pull it off?”

“I’ll skip the logistics. Let’s just say we had to convince very scary forces, to the union’s utter dread, that you and Jungeun are somehow an exception amongst millions.” Gowon looks over Jinsoul’s shoulder to catch a glimpse of Sooyoung taking a photo of Jiwoo kissing a squirming Jungeun on the cheek. “Sooyoung and Jiwoo, too, funny enough.”

It turns out that Choerry was the one assigned with Sooyoung’s case file all along and, contrary to Gowon’s approach, never wanted to break up her and Jinsoul to match her with Jiwoo, her intended partner. Hence her dedication to finding this loophole.

Gowon still feels guilty about putting Sooyoung through hell and back with Plan #29 (apparently due to something called a ‘sense of morality’ or whatever) but Choerry accepts her apologies every time with an unfailing ‘no problem!’ and a dazzling grin. Like the quintessential fairy godmother that she is.

Gowon lets out a gentle sigh. “I also can’t believe we succeeded, but,” she flips her flawless silver hair over her perfect shoulder, “we are incredible.”

“Yes, you are. I could kiss you right now, but you might hate it. I’m so happy to hear it worked out,” Jinsoul beams, “and so sorry to put you through that, chief.”

“You better be. The whole affair almost cost several of us our jobs, so you rascals better live happily ever after!” Gowon purses her lips.

Jinsoul drapes a lazy arm over her shoulder. “No worries. We've moved in together to a swanky new place - turns out she put up with all the bull at work because she was saving up,” she pauses to let out a dreamy sigh, “it's been great. The future’s looking bright,” she chirps, pinching Gowon’s cheeks, “but awww, you look so cute when you fret! Like a baby!”

With a scowl, Gowon writhes out of Jinsoul’s hold to fix the creases in her coat. “Hey, I'm still an omniscient being to you! Don’t forget that!”

(How dare Jinsoul infantilize her when she has lived Jinsoul’s twenty-two years a million times over?!)

Jinsoul smiles and throws her a weird look. "Do tell: who was your almighty saviour?”

Olivia comes to mind. A warmth blooms. Kind, wonderful, caring Olivia with a compassion that rivals the most benevolent of gods, a charisma so spellbinding that she commands all the attention in the meeting room, more valiant than any knight in shining armo–

“Are you blushing?!” Jinsoul practically yells, yanking Gowon out of her abrupt reverie.

Gowon’s eyebrows fly up in pure offense as the mortal gasps. 

“W-what? Don’t be ridiculous!” she asserts defensively, “I have no neurotransmitters to signal such physiological response, much less blood vessels to dilate, so I don’t know why you would even suggest that.”

Jinsoul just laughs. She’s been smiling a lot lately, Gowon’s noticed. The most she probably has all her life.

“Hey, I don’t know deific anatomy, but it’s nothing to be embarrassed about! We’ve all been there.” Jinsoul shoots her a wink, nudging her on the side.

“Well, I am not like you.”

“Admit it, we're more alike than you think. We can learn from each other! Your job is all about love, but it seems like you’ve only skimmed the surface," Jinsoul says. "Look, I almost cost you your existence. Let me teach you all I know to make up for it!" 

Jinsoul looks at her with so much eager innocence, an expression she’d be hard-pressed to find around the office, that Gowon can’t help but concede. Even divine powers have a soft underbelly. Might as well step off her high horse and get something valuable out of this; besides, not everyone at the Firmament gets the privilege of having a mortal insider. 

“I suppose you could help me with something,” Gowon relents after a moment's consideration, “and after my spectacle with you, I do need to get back ahead of the competition if I want a raise.”

They are already overworked, underpaid, and underappreciated.

“Wait, you get paid up there?”

Duh. How else would she get her slinkies? Gowon waves her hand dismissively, not really in the mood to get into the economics of the transcendental realm right now. “I will allow you to help me.”

Jinsoul cheers, petting her on top of the head, and Gowon, deciding that it actually feels quite nice, doesn’t duck out of it this time.

“Yes! Young protégé, how may I assist you?”

“I was wondering if you could enlighten me on...” Gowon narrows her eyes, “...human things. Subjective emotions, feelings and...how you can distinguish between them. And the like...”

Concepts so seemingly profound and complex that she herself has trouble grasping it. 

Her thoughts fill with Olivia again, whose indifference hides generosity and a heart of gold– no! For the raise! And for ‘Awe-inspiring’ on my next appraisal report! And for the boss lady to acknowledge me! For resource priorities on February 14th! This has nothing to do with kind, wonderful, caring Olivia, nothing at all...

Jinsoul lifts an eyebrow, lips quirking up in a knowing smile.

“Well, it must be your lucky day because I'm the answer to all your troubles,” she says proudly, echoing Gowon’s first words to her. “You can even call me Cupid, if you’d like.”