Sooyoung

 

“Sooyoung,” Wendy shot me a disapproving look and I sighed. She has been looking at me like that since I told her about the conversation I had with Joohyun. Can she blame me though? It’s not like I can tell her the truth. Every time I talk to her, things just get more complicated. Maybe this all would’ve been solved if I never lied to begin with.

 

“It’s not like I want to lie to her, but I can’t tell her right now. She’ll definitely never talk to me again and probably quit her job. I just need to figure out how to break it to her in the right way,” I explained, and my best friend could only shake her head. She didn’t understand my logic, but I did. Lying was the only option for now. Eventually I will tell her the truth.

 

“You’re a mess Sooyoung.”

 

“You can blame my parents for that. I don’t even know why my dad wants to be the president anyway,” I groaned. My parents loved me in their own way, but they never spent time with me growing up. I grew up with random people taking care of me and now all eyes are on our family. Everything I did was seen by the general public and I promised my dad that I would behave. I’ve worked hard not to get into any trouble at school but now having my ex as my teacher, it just made my life harder.

 

“Where are your parents by the way?”

 

“They are currently flying to America, I think. I wasn’t really paying attention when they told me. They should be back next week or so, but they said someone was coming to the house to watch me. I’m not a kid and I wish they would stop treating me like one.” I did not need some random person watching me. The doorbell rung and I stayed seated as reality sunk in. That was probably yet another random lady to take care of me. I guess my parents don’t change a bit.

 

“I’ll get it,” Wendy got up and went to open the door. “Hi, are you here for Sooyoung?”

 

“Um is that Joy?” I heard an uncertain voice ask. It was soft but extremely unfamiliar, so I clearly didn’t know her.

 

“Yep that’s her. Come on in. She’s in the living room to the right,” Wendy confirmed as footsteps approached me. A moment later, an awkward girl appeared in front of me. She had shoulder length brown hair with bangs. I used to have bangs, but I always changed my hair up. For now it was red, but who knew what it’ll be a month from now.

 

“Um hi Joy or is it Sooyoung now? Your dad still called you Joy back when I last talked to him,” she addressed me. Joy? My dad still called me Joy? He hadn’t said that to my face in years so that was surprising to hear. No one called me Joy anymore. I guess all the joy in life got out of me, so it was pointless.

 

“Who are you?” I wanted to get straight to the point. There was no need for small talk with this girl. She looked young and it didn’t add up. Why send someone so young to watch me?

 

“I’m Seulgi. I guess I’m sort of your aunt?” She asked more than said. Aunt? I didn’t have one of those. At least I didn’t have one to my knowledge apparently.

 

“Are you asking me?” Her tone didn’t sound all too sure if that was the right word to use.

 

“No of course not. I’m your dad’s sister. I guess our parents had me a lot of years too late,” she joked but my face stayed blank. Dad’s sister? He never talked about having a sister before.

 

“How old are you?”

 

“I’m about twenty-three right now. I saw you when you were younger, but that was a long time ago. I’ve been studying in Japan for a while,” she elaborated. My dad had a random sister who wasn’t much older than me? How did I not know that? Why didn’t he tell me that?

 

“I’m sure one of the workers can show you to wherever you’re staying,” I shrugged her off and turned my attention to the TV instead.

 

“Okay,” Seulgi left after another awkward moment of silence.

 

“Really Sooyoung? You didn’t have to be so rude. Seulgi seemed really nice,” Wendy scolded me, and I could only roll my eyes in return. Nice? She seemed so awkward that it made me uncomfortable.

 

“I don’t need a babysitter. She’s not even that much older than me so why let her watch me of all people? I don’t even know her,” I could only complain about the awkward aunt that has entered my life. I didn’t ask for more family and I didn’t need anyone else. My family was screwed up enough.

 

“Maybe you can get to know her,” she suggested but I shook my head.

 

“I have enough problems right now. The last thing I need is to have family drama on top of that.” I knew I could just ignore Seulgi and be fine. She seemed too awkward to stand up to me so I think I can do whatever I want.

 

~

 

I ignored the stares as I went to sit in the back of the classroom. It was annoying that even in school all eyes were on me. They were all waiting for me to screw up, but I didn’t want anyone to have the satisfaction of causing me to break. It was finally time for my least favorite class…photography. Why did I sign up for this again? I glanced over at the front and saw Joohyun staring at her lesson plan for the day. I could honestly stare at her forever. Her beauty always amazed me, and it seemed to only get better with age. “I’m not sure if anyone ever told you but your staring is creepy,” Wendy’s voice broke me out of my thoughts.

 

“She has definitely noticed it,” I shook my head and took out my phone. It’s not like there was anything else to do while waiting for class to start. At least it will force me to not stare at Joohyun. She has noticed so much, yet she hasn’t put the pieces together. I could only hope that it stays like that.

 

“Hey Sooyoung, how is it being known as the around school?” I heard a random kid say. I never saw the point in learning names that aren’t important. Everyone knew me but that didn’t mean I needed to know them.

 

“Pretty great,” I replied without looking up from my phone. I could care less what anyone in this school thought about me.

 

“You really don’t care?” She kept questioning me and it was starting to get annoying.

 

“Not at all,” I shrugged and tried to block her out.

 

“You’ll never find love acting like that.”

 

“Love is overrated,” I rolled my eyes and looked to Wendy for help. I knew I could control my temper if I focused on someone else. There were only a few things that could cause me to snap.

 

“I bet you don’t even like guys,” she guessed, and I slammed my phone down while snapping my eyes up to hers. That will do it.

 

“Want to say that again?” I raised a brow and noticed that she finally looked nervous.

 

“I said I bet you don’t even like guys. Oh, what a story would that be in the news. Wouldn’t it mess up with your dad’s campaign?” She smirked and something in me snapped. There weren’t many things that provoked me but threating something my dad worked hard for was one. People needed to leave my family out of their stupid issues with me. I stood up and made my way over to her.

 

“I know something else that would mess with it. His daughter gets in trouble for getting in a fight with a very annoying girl,” I grinned, and she stood up too.

 

“Then what are you waiting for? Hit me. All you’re doing is proving me right. I said so much stuff and the one thing that bothered you was the assumption of you not liking guys? I should’ve known that you were a lesbian. Everything adds up now,” she provoked me, and I felt all thoughts escape from my brain. That’s it.

 

“I’m going to kill you,” I threatened and all I could remember was lunging at her. I felt students trying to pull us apart, but I had a good grip on her. I had so much anger in me and it was nice to finally have someone to take it out on.

 

“Stop!” A strong voice called out and I immediately let go of the girl. How did I forget that Joohyun was the teacher for this class? “Both of you go to the principal’s office and explain to him what just happened,” she pointed to the door with an angry expression on her face.

 

“I got a better idea,” I said as I grabbed my bag. “I’m done.” I walked out the room and shook my head. I shouldn’t have lost my cool with the girl, but that l word was a dangerous one for my family’s reputation. That’s a big reason why Joohyun was my first and only girlfriend. I couldn’t date in public like that.

 

“Sooyoung!” I heard Joohyun’s voice from behind me. I kept walking and hoped she would get the message, but I felt a grip on my arm. “Dammit can you stop walking for a minute!?” She snapped and I was surprised to hear the curse word. Teachers definitely didn’t talk like that at this school. I turned around and noticed the anger in her eyes mixed with concern. “You can’t just leave school like this.”

 

“It’s not the first time and it won’t be the last. Just go focus on your class,” I tried to walk away but she kept her grip on me.

 

“I get that you have a lot of anger issues that you don’t want to talk about, but you can’t let that out on a student. You’ll be lucky if they don’t expel you,” she told me, but I wasn’t really paying attention to her words. I’ve heard this speech from many teachers over the years.

 

“They would never expel me because of my name. All you have to do is tell the principal I walked out. He won’t blame you. Now leave me the hell alone,” I rolled my eyes and walked away from her. I really didn’t need to see someone judge me yet again. Not even Joohyun. She didn’t need to see me like this right now. I needed time to cool down.

 

“It won’t hurt to let someone in one day. You don’t have to be who all of these kids think you are,” she kept talking and her words were amusing at this point. I turned around and let out a dry chuckle.

 

“What are you trying to figure me out because I seem misunderstood? Very ironic,” I shook my head and left out of the building. Funny how the roles were reversed for once. People feared her and I wanted to figure her out. Now people fear me and she’s trying to figure out why. History really does repeat itself. I hopped in my car and drove home while trying to block out this day. I knew I should’ve just stayed home. I expected silence when I returned but once I entered, concerned eyes were on me.

 

“I’ve been waiting for you,” Seulgi said and I let out a tired sigh. This girl again? If I would’ve known she would be this annoying, I would’ve snuck in through the back.

 

“Did the school call? Just ignore it. That’s what my parents do,” I brushed it off. They’ve gotten their fair share of phone calls about my behavior.

 

“I’m not your parents and you can’t just leave school like that Sooyoung. You tell everyone you don’t need someone watching you because you’re an adult so why don’t you start acting like one?” She scolded with clear anger in her voice and I was surprised to hear it come out of the very awkward girl. She struggled speaking to me a while ago but now she grew a backbone? Where did this come from?

 

“Why do you care?” She was just here to watch me, not parent me.

 

“Do you want to really know why your dad sent me over here?” She finally brought up and I nodded slowly. Was there another reason I didn’t know about? “I was once like you. I lied about everything, pushed people away, and in the end, I was all alone. Trust me, that might be what you think you want, but it isn’t. It’s lonely and when you finally realize that, everyone will be gone,” she explained, and I felt my jaw clench.

 

“I’m nothing like you,” I glared at her as the words sunk in. I get that I lie a lot and push people away but that didn’t mean I would end up like her.

 

“I had someone talk some sense into me and now I’m trying to help you. Your parents have no idea what to do with you and I was their last resort. They didn’t need to go to America, but they took the opportunity to give me some time to help you,” she told the entire truth to me.

 

“And you think you’ve changed? You lied to me about why you were here.”

 

“No, I did not. I never told you why I was here because you never asked me. You just assumed and I let you,” she defended herself and I could only shake my head.

 

“Whatever,” I headed to the stairs, but her voice stopped me.

 

“Your school said you have detention for a month. You will personally help Ms. Bae clean up her classroom at the end of every day. That is after you apologize for being disrespectful in her class,” she ordered me. No one has ever spoken to me like that. I don’t think anyone ever cared enough to speak to me like that.

 

“And if I don’t?” I looked over at Seulgi, but she matched my stare.

 

“You don’t want to try me. Just because I’ve changed, it doesn’t mean I can’t let you meet who I used to be,” she threatened and for once, I was intimidated. It was almost like looking in a mirror. Maybe we were more alike than I thought.

 

“Fine,” I muttered and went to my room. Great. Now I’ll have to spend more time with Joohyun. She had anger towards Joy and I’m pretty sure I made her hate Sooyoung. There might not be a point in lying anymore.

 

Joohyun

 

I froze at the dry laughter coming out of her. It wasn’t the fact that she was laughing, it was the smile that came from it. She looked hurt and amused at the same time, but I’ve seen that smile before. No…I have to be going crazy.

 

“What are you trying to figure me out because I seem misunderstood? Very ironic,” she shook her head and left out of the building. That sentence took all the air out of my lungs as I stared at her walking away. Figure her out? Misunderstood?

 

“Joy?” I mumbled as I thought back to everything. So I wasn’t going crazy when I said she looked a lot like her? “This can’t be happening,” I shook my head and tried to get myself together. I still had a class to teach. I went back into the room and got everything back to normal. It seemed like forever until the bell rung. “Don’t forget to do your homework!” I called out as they left. Wendy glanced over at me before leaving and it made me question if she had known this entire time too.

 

“Wow I haven’t seen you think this hard in a long time,” Yeri’s voice brought me back to reality.

 

“I’m going crazy,” I shook my head and took a seat. I was still processing this. Joy is Sooyoung. Sooyoung is Joy. Why the hell didn’t I put two and two together? I heard the door close before my sister stood in front of me.

 

“That look on your face is scary. What’s wrong? Don’t tell me it’s nothing because I know you Joohyun. Who do I need to kill?” She demanded and I looked down at my desk in shame. Maybe it was time to tell her the truth about what happened. I never told anyone mainly because I was embarrassed.

 

“I didn’t tell you the entire truth about what happened with Joy,” I started to talk because I couldn’t keep this in any longer. It was slowly driving me insane.

 

“What do you mean?” She stared at me curiously as I tried to work up the nerve to tell her everything.

 

“Joy and I broke up because she lied to me. She lied about her name, age, and practically everything else,” I confessed as Yeri sat stunned. “I figured if I forgot about her then I would be fine. Life has a funny way of working out though. I wasn’t going crazy Yeri. Sooyoung is Joy,” I admitted everything. Silence took over as she stared at me in shock.

 

“Sooyoung? Park Sooyoung? Joy? Oh my goodness,” Yeri took a seat as she tried to wrap her mind around everything.

 

“I know right? How the hell did it take me this long to figure it out? She hasn’t changed much. I was so in love with this girl, yet I didn’t know it was her. No wonder she freaked when she first saw me. At least it explains the staring,” I said as I thought about everything. It all started to connect, and I felt like a fool. She really is still lying years later. Taeyeon? That’s hilarious. Did she think she was just playing a game with me? The thought made me mad but then I thought back to the broken girl in the hallway. She was clearly going through something and it made me question was she going through this when we were dating. Was this her normal life?

 

“I’m sorry this happened. It’s an unfortunate situation and maybe you could quit,” she brought up. The thought flew through my mind a million times, but reality always kicked in.

 

“Mom isn’t working since she’s sick. We need some type of income Yerim. I don’t have a choice in the matter. I have to stay at least until the end of the year,” I shook my head.

 

“Then should you tell her that you know?”

 

“What’s the point? So she can lie to me again? I should just act like everything is normal. She’s clearly going through something, so she has more to worry about than just me,” I decided. Telling her I knew would only make things worse and I really don’t feel like dealing with it right now. I needed time to let everything sink in.

 

“So now that you know who she truly is, do you still love her?”

 

“How am I supposed to love someone I don’t know? Joy is the one in my memory. All I know about Sooyoung is that she has issues, a lot of them.” I didn’t know a damn thing about her, so it was hard to connect the two.

 

“Now what?”

 

“Now we go home, and I sleep on this. I have the entire weekend to try and process everything,” I said, and she shot me a concerned glance. “I’m fine Yerim,” I assured her although we both knew that it was far from the truth. Sooyoung…now that was a name that fit her.