Soyeon can’t sleep. Perhaps it’s because she’s so used to crashing at the oddest of hours when she’s exhausted and doesn’t even realise she’s falling asleep until she does; perhaps it’s because she’s so used to spending this time of night working in her studio that she just doesn’t understand how people just… sleep. 

Soojin used to tell her to count sheep. It works for about five seconds before Soyeon starts wondering what would happen if one of the sheep she was counting got lost. Would it need a map of her mind to find its way home? She doesn’t think it’s possible to map out every little nook and cranny of her brain, not when there’s just so many things that pop up here and there. If her imagination is the surface of a planet, then mountains and forests and skyscrapers would appear and disappear at a snap of her fingers, each of them representing a little aspect of her life. She finds herself standing in the expansive landscape of her mind more often than not, surveying her thoughts.

Like that one over there, that forest of songs, each tree sprouting different lyrics, every bird in the forest singing a different melody. On the other side of the planet, there’s a minefield where all vegetables in existence lie in wait. She’s never dared to venture there, no matter how much people try to convince her otherwise. 

And between the two, on the equator of the planet that is Soyeon’s mind, stands a welcoming cottage house. Inside a fire blazes on cold nights, ice-cream fills the fridge in the summer, and where five other girls live together with two adorable puppies. Her imaginary bedroom is ever so large, larger than the one in real life, and consists of a mattress so humongous it takes up the entire room, filled with pillows and plushies and everything comfortable. This is where the Soyeon in her imagination goes to rest, when she’s burnt out and just cannot think any more.

This is also where the Yuqi in her imagination likes to live. She’s been drifting in and out of Soyeon’s rest-space for a while now, appearing when she least expects it, disappearing when Soyeon’s fully charged and ready to start work again. But now she lives there permanently, lounging on the bed, imaginary-Yuqi with her arms outstretched, inviting. Sometimes Soyeon likes to wonder what happens when she finally does give in, just lying in imaginary-Yuqi’s arms, feeling their bodies pressing against each other…

Okay, that’s it. Soyeon’s definitely not sleeping tonight.

She’s also wondering about Yuqi now. Is she still struggling to sleep alone in her own room? Soyeon knows how afraid Yuqi is of the dark, which is why Soyeon had bought her a tiny giraffe night-light one day on a whim, just an everyday gift one gives to their love after thinking of them the whole day.

Well, only one way to find out. Soyeon swings herself out of bed, taking her sunflower yellow pillow with her.

She gently knocks on Yuqi’s door, waiting for a response. When none comes, she tries the doorknob. The door opens. She slinks in, her pillow dragging on the floor.

The room is dark save for a small giraffe lit up in the corner of the room, its orange glow providing a comforting presence. Soyeon smiles gently when she sees it; just knowing Yuqi uses her gift is enough to warm her heart. Turning her head, she melts even further at the sight of Yuqi, sleeping peacefully, surrounded by giraffe plushies. She almost has a mind to leave the younger girl, and maybe work off her sleeplessness somewhere else.

Alas, that’s not how Jeon Soyeon works.

Winding up her arm, she throws her pillow at Yuqi, square on her face. Yuqi emits a muffed ‘oof’, and with a groan yanks the pillow off her face. Rubbing the sleep from her eyes, the Chinese girl sits up in bed and stares blearily at Soyeon. “Hey.”

“Hey.” Soyeon flushes under Yuqi’s questioning look, Yuqi’s eyes clouded with tiredness. “I… I don’t think I can sleep. Alone.”

Yuqi stares at her for a few beats more as she processes Soyeon’s words. Her eyes turn soft, loving; she scoots over in bed. She pats the empty space next to her before stretching her hand out to Soyeon. “Come in.”

Embarrassed, Soyeon takes Yuqi’s hand and crawls into her bed. Yuqi fluffs her pillow, easing Soyeon into sleep, tucking her in. It’s times like this Soyeon really feels her age as one of the younger half of the group (Yuqi’s younger than her, sure, but she always takes such good care of Soyeon), and she’ll never admit it, but sometimes she does like to be babied.

Yuqi settles herself down next to Soyeon, turning around in bed so she’s facing the blonde. Soyeon can feel her face reddening in the faint glow of the giraffe-lamp as their eyes meet. She pulls the blanket up to cover her pink cheeks, peeking out from the top of the blanket. “You’re staring.” Her voice comes out shy and small, like how she’s feeling right now under Yuqi’s burning gaze.

“I am.” Yuqi’s voice is husky, thick with sleep; but still, she smiles. “So are you.”

Soyeon squirms. “I can’t help it. You’re too cute.” Why does she feel so bashful speaking these words, words that she says all the time?

Yuqi chuckles, her laugh reverberating through the springs in the mattress, into the depths of Soyeon’s heart. She reaches out a hand, fingers brushing away Soyeon’s hair from where they’ve fallen to cover her eyes. “So are you.”

Stuttering. Soyeon’s heart is stuttering. The silence of the bedroom is deafening. Suddenly she can see everything as clear as day despite the darkness. She can count every freckle on Yuqi’s cheeks, feel the tingle of Yuqi’s fingers brushing over her skin. Their faces are mere inches apart. “I love you,” Soyeon blurts out.

“I love you too.”

“I-I mean,” Soyeon’s fumbling over her words, her reputation as a fierce, spitfire rapper suddenly vanishing into thin air as she grapples with insecurities and misinterpretations, “as in, I love you, love you not just as a friend, but actually love-”

All words fail on Soyeon’s tongue when she feels a pair of soft lips press themselves against hers. Her eyes widen when she realises that Yuqi is kissing (kissing!) her, gentle and sweet. Soyeon’s mind goes blank - what does she do? Holy , what does she do?

Yuqi pulls Soyeon in, fingers tangling in corn-yellow hair, and guides the older woman patiently. Soyeon’s eyelids flutter shut as she finally gives herself to Yuqi, surrendering her heart and soul as their lips meld together, moving in sync. Yuqi tastes like home, her lips softer than pillows, and as they kiss more and more Soyeon finds herself falling deeper and deeper into the ocean that is Yuqi.

When Yuqi pulls away, Soyeon chases after her, but Yuqi places a finger against her lips. Certain feelings don’t need to be said out loud to be understood, Soyeon thinks, not when Yuqi expresses them clearly enough, her eyes shining with love.

“Let’s go to sleep,” Yuqi murmurs. “We’ve got a long day ahead tomorrow.”

A goofy grin is stretched across Soyeon’s face, heat coursing through her body. She’s giddy, so giddy she doesn’t know whether she can actually fall asleep, but she whispers a quiet “Okay.”

Yuqi smiles and closes her eyes; Soyeon watches her for a while longer before doing the same. Yuqi’s breathing is slow, soothing, lulling her to sleep. She rests a hand on Yuqi’s chest, smiling when she feels Yuqi hold her hand, loosely intertwining their fingers together.

Soyeon feels Yuqi’s heartbeat under her palm, loud and steady.

“Goodnight.”