"Where the hell were you, Nayeon?" Doyoung asked through gritted teeth, trying not to shout and upset the already shaken up kid sitting just a room away. 

Nayeon gulped. Guilt was eating at her insides. She wished she could say she was drunk and it was an accident, but it wasn't true. Nayeon was more than aware of what she was doing. She knew it was wrong of her on so many levels but being with Jeongyeon like that again, it felt so familiar and right. 

But she couldn't tell the truth. It would mean unimaginable things and she couldn't allow it. She mustered up a lie. 

"I got a call from a friend in the middle of the night." She gulped. Tried to convince herself she was telling the truth. "It was an emergency and she needed me quickly."

"Was it Sana?" He asked and Nayeon thought on if she should say yes or no. 

"No." She quickly said, realizing he probably contacted Sana. "A friend from work."

He eyed her suspiciously but couldn't catch any sign of Nayeon lying. 

"You never picked up any of my calls. Not even a text." He accused. 

Nayeon shrugged. Even though she knows what she's done she doesn't want to stand there and be scolded like a little kid. She's an adult. That made a terrible mistake. 

It started giving her a headache. Both the guilt and Doyoung standing in front of her with his scrutinizing gaze fixed on her. 

Suddenly the door opened and the girl rushed in with eyes puffy. 

"Mommy!" She screamed, lunging herself into Nayeon's arms. "Where were you? I thought you died."

"Died?!" Nayeon widened her eyes in surprise. "Why would you think that?" She asked as the kid sniffled and hid her face in Nayeon's neck. 

"Kid's brain, who knows where she got that idea."

Nayeon listened as she tried calming the girl in her arms. It was her fault, the fact that Hyein was crying. 

"Hey baby girl, listen to me." She gently brought the girl's face to look at her as she watched with puffy eyes. "I'm here and I'm safe. Very much alive." Nayeon chuckled as the tiniest smile broke out on her lips. 

Good enough. 

"What do you want to do today?" The woman asked her daughter to distract her from not being there all night. To distract herself as well from remembering and replaying everything in her head. 

The way Jeongyeon kissed her, the way she touched her, the way she held her. It was all so much different than with Doyoung, so much different than with anyone. 

She brought her daughter to the living room sitting down on the couch. Doyoung's gaze was still fixed on her and Nayeon did a good job avoiding it by occupying herself with Hyein. 

But the man wasn't giving up. He would be downright stupid to believe the story Nayeon tried selling to him. 

"I had some breakfast!" Hyein told her mom excitedly, pointing to the empty bowl on the table. Nayeon gave the kid a small smile while brushing the hair out of her face. 

The rest of the day was spent like this. With Nayeon busying herself with her daughter and avoiding her husband at all costs. 

She tried not to think too much about what she's done but it was inevitable. No matter how much guilt she felt the resurfacing feelings were much stronger. With the ability to consume her completely to the point where she's not paying attention to anything or anyone around her. 

"Do you even hear what I'm saying?" Doyoung sat in a chair opposite Nayeon. "I told you two times already I was going to take Hyein for a nap, and here you are looking like you're in a trance or something."

"I..." Nayeon had nothing. 

Doyoung let out a laugh.

"Where were you actually last night?" He asked again.

"I told you a friend needed me!" Nayeon yelled. A bad move. 

The man was taken aback. He shook his head. 

"You know what, I'm going to take a walk, and you think good about if you're gonna keep lying to me or not."

...

Jeongyeon sat on the floor of her bedroom. Cold, against a wall once again and the book in her hands. 

It was soaked, the book. With tears that wouldn't stop falling. 

How was it possible? That after all this time Nayeon still had this much power over Jeongyeon. She wondered if Nayeon was aware or even cared. 

Just like that, she was at square one. Just like that the past five years got erased from her brain, the heartache much stronger. 

Nayeon broke her for the same reason, for the same man. Did she really love him that much? Was she truly over her that she would still rush back into his arms? 

Jeongyeon could laugh at herself. That is if she wasn't physically feeling like she was lying dead in a ditch somewhere with all her sanity gone. 

The only thing on her mind was how stupid she was to let Nayeon step all over her again. 

After everything that happened Jeongyeon still loved her, she allowed herself to admit it. After breaking her for a third time, over the same thing, it was safe to say that Jeongyeon could only ever truly love Nayeon. 

...

"Huh?" Jeongyeon tried to make sense of what Nayeon was saying. "I don't think I heard you right."

"I..." Nayeon was sobbing. "There's really no excuse for what I did, but Jeong please-"

"Do not..." Jeongyeon threatened with a finger pointed at Nayeon. "Call me that." She gulped. 

"Please." Nayeon tried again. "You have to believe it didn't mean anything."

Jeongyeon scoffed. She couldn't find the accurate words for Nayeon at the moment. 

"It's been eating at my insides, the guilt." Nayeon cried. 

"Well, I'm glad to know you at least have some kind of conscious." 

"You are the one I love, you're the one I want to marry and have kids with and spend the rest of my life with." Nayeon tried. 

Jeongyeon couldn't help but laugh. And to think she had a ring ready. To think she was looking forward to a whole new chapter of her life, their life. 

"You know what hurts the most?" Jeongyeon asked, voice full of anger. 

Nayeon gulped, her head hanging low, knowing she doesn't want to hear it. She was in no place to protest though. 

"The fact that you knew I was there, under the same roof, when you willingly went and cheated on me." She felt her heart break from her own words. 

"I was drunk-"

"And instead of looking for me, you did what?!" Jeongyeon shouted. 

Nayeon flinched. There was no way to find an excuse for herself. 

"You slept with someone and then even dared to go back home with me..." Jeongyeon was in disbelief. She shook her head, laughing. "This has to be some kind of prank, right?" 

Nayeon could only shed more tears as she watched Jeongyeon's heart break right in front of her. 

"I'm leaving." The blonde said going into her room and packing a few things in a bag. 

Nayeon could only cry more. Her legs gave out on her, she found herself on the floor. 

She tried stopping Jeongyeon on her way out but the blonde wouldn't even spare her a glance. 

...

A very distinct sound of a doorknob brought Jeongyeon back to reality as her brain reminded her of the surroundings. 

"Jeong!"

, Tzuyu. 

"I came to bring you some food since you didn't have much last night!" The girl shouted from the entrance. 

Quickly, Jeongyeon threw away the book and wiped her face the best she could. 

"He-" Tzuyu stopped dumbfounded at the door of her girlfriend's bedroom. This was not a state she expected to find her girlfriend in. Eyes puffy and cheeks red. "Hey what's going on??" 

She rushed to the girl on the floor, hugging her. Jeongyeon couldn't hold in the tears anymore. This time because she managed to up and hurt the most precious girl she ever met. 

Curse Nayeon for ever coming back into her life. Curse her for making Jeongyeon realize how much in love with her she still was. 

Jeongyeon sobbed and Tzuyu didn't know what to do. She was surprised to find her girlfriend in this state in the first place. 

"Jeong, will you tell me what's going on?" She looked worriedly at the blonde who avoided eye contact at all costs. 

Then her eyes landed upon a book. Jeongyeon's book to be exact. It looked wet. Tzuyu gulped.

She stood up and looked around the room. Even though the same, it seemed a little unfamiliar. Jeongyeon was a calm sleeper. Not even when they were together was the bed this messy. And anyway Jeongyeon makes sure to make her bed every morning as soon as she gets up. 

Tzuyu didn't want to admit it to herself. Not even when she saw the obvious dark bruise just under Jeongyeon's collar bone, barely peeking out for Tzuyu to see. 

She swallowed, pretending like what she just saw didn't kill her from the inside. 

"Like I said, I brought breakfast." Despite everything she still couldn't find it in herself to be mad at the girl. She was mad at herself. "But I see you don't want company right now so I'll see you some other time."

Some other time sounded an awful lot like Tzuyu was asking for a break. Jeongyeon felt like if she lost Tzuyu too everything would be even worse. She had to keep her there. 

"Tzu... Please stay." She said with no strength in her voice. 

The younger let out a sigh. Thousands of thoughts swirling around her head. But Jeongyeon was a priority. First Tzuyu would make sure she was okay before she let herself open her eyes to what's going on. 

On the other hand, Jeongyeon hated herself for doing this to the girl. How low must one feel to be able to use such a kind-hearted girl? To disrespect her like this. 

Jeongyeon was so close to telling her. So close to admitting her own mistake but she couldn't. Not when Tzuyu hugged her and held her tight. Not when Jeongyeon felt calm, like none of it happened. 

Because that's how Tzuyu made her feel. At peace. 

She pushed the younger away a bit and stared into her eyes. Searching for Nayeon in them. For the same fire. But Jeongyeon only found the compassionate look from her best friend. 

Tzuyu was not supposed to be like this, to be there for her. She was supposed to be angry, hurt, mad. But no, Tzuyu sat there like the fool she is. Jeongyeon hated herself for thinking that way. 

And as if it wasn't enough, as if making a fool out of her girlfriend wasn't enough, Jeongyeon leaned in and connected their lips, desperately searching for a different taste, for Nayeon's taste. 

The blonde battled the thoughts inside her head, telling her how selfish and disgusting she is. But none of the thoughts could stop her from getting up and leading Tzuyu towards the bed where she pushed her down and climbed on top of her. 

Tzuyu gulped. Somewhere in her brain, she knew what was going on with Jeongyeon. The bruises on Jeongyeon's skin, the taste of her lips, the smell on the sheets. It was so much different, so unfamiliar yet made Tzuyu's heart skip all the same. Subconsciously Tzuyu was giving herself to Jeongyeon for the wrong reasons but she couldn't stop her