After Jimin left, I chased Hana out of my house. Call me stupid but I finally see her true colours. Funny how I only realise this after I hurt the one I promised to protect with all my heart. 

As I watch Jimin run out of our house, millions of thoughts raced through my mind. What did he mean by little one? It couldn’t be what I think it is right? No no no this can’t be happening. I fell to the floor as tears rolled down my face.

Jimin baby. Please. Don’t give on me. On us. Please baby please.

(Flashback)

Jimin’s POV

The moment I opened my eyes, I was met with a white wall. The last thing I remembered was my head hurting really badly before I passed out.

Piece by piece, those memories came back to me. The restaurant, Hana and Yoongi, those things he said. Before I knew it, the pain in my heart came back. The same one I wished I wouldn’t have to feel.

“Sweetie, you’re finally awake.” My mother gently said.

I looked around only to realise those who were close to me were here too. My parents, Yoongi’s parents, Namjoon, Jin, Jungkook, Taehyung and Hoseok. I tried to sit up but I felt a stinging pain on my stomach.

“Don’t get up honey. You need to rest after your surgery.”

Surgery? Was it really that bad? I mean I only got knocked on the head. I reached up to my head, expecting some bandage to be there but I felt nothing.

Wait. My stomach. I looked down only to see a bandage wrapped around my waist. But why?

I looked up at my mum, eyes searching for answers. That was when Yoongi’s mother who was sitting on my right held my hand into hers.

“Jimin dear, I just want you to know that you must not blame yourself for whatever happened okay? You and Yoongi are still young. You still have a lot of time ahead of you to try again alright?”

My heart clenched when those words left . I didn’t want to hear what she was about to say.

“You had a miscarriage my dear.”

That’s it. Those very words that shattered my heart into pieces.

I had a baby? One I didn’t even know about...?

My precious baby was gone. My innocent little gem who was lost because of me. How stupid was I to not notice I had a life in me?

It all made sense now. Being nauseated, feeling dizzy when I went on rides, losing appetite. All this time I thought I was just missing Yoongi too much. Who knew I had a little miracle in me?

I should’ve known. I was the one that killed my baby. My precious baby who never got the chance to see this beautiful world.

“Yoongi doesn’t know about this Jimin.”

I looked up and saw Jin staring at me. His eyes were red, I guess he was crying.

“I wanted you to decide whether you wanted to see him” He continued. I shook my head almost immediately and felt a hand gently squeezing my own. Yoongi’s mother.

“I understand why you don’t want to see him my dear.” She started. My heart started beating faster as I waited for her to continue.

“He pushed you by accident and that’s why you both lost something so precious. But you know he wouldn’t do it on purpose. Even so, he shouldn’t have pushed you whether or not you were pregnant.”

I know I can’t and I won’t blame Yoongi for this. e both didn’t know I was pregnant. I knew why mum was saying this. She didn’t want me be mad at Yoongi for causing this as much as I know he didn’t mean it. But I just needed some space and time now. And that meant no Yoongi.

Sure he didn’t mean to push me and lose our baby. But he didn’t come after me when I left the restaurant. He wasn’t there for me when I came to the hospital. And that’s why I didn’t want to see him. Because I still wasn’t sure if he loved me as much as he did before.

“I don’t blame him mum. I just need some time alone now. I promise I’ll talk to him when I’m discharged. But not now. You guys too, head home and rest okay? I’m fine I promise.” I spoke out with a gentle smile on my face.

With that being said, my mum and Yoongi’s mum each gave me a kiss on the cheek before both Yoongi’s parents and mine made their way out of my room.

Taehyung and Jin then came over to give me a hug, whispering a “We love you” and “Don’t think too much Jimin” before they too left, Hoseok giving me an encouraging smile as he closed the door.

After they left, I stared at the white ceiling again. Finally, my barrier broke. Tears fell down one by one and there was no way I could stop them. I cried my heart out, for the loss of my unborn child. Drop by drop, tears flowed down my cheeks like a never-ending stream.

Many what ifs went through my mind. What if I took a test once those symptoms showed? What if I didn’t go to that restaurant? What if I would’ve just left when I saw Yoongi with her? Would my baby still be with me?

I was hurting so much. I hated myself for not realizing I was pregnant earlier. For not being able to protect the precious being that was once in me. For letting my unborn child leave before he or she even saw this beautiful world.

As much as it hurts me to say this, there’s nothing I can change about this. I had to accept that my child was gone and that I was partially to be blamed for this.

But this also serves as a wake-up call for my relationship with Yoongi. That I should’ve trusted him enough to give him time to explain instead of just confronting him in public. I knew how Yoongi is. He would never cheat one me. I guess my emotions were just too out of place as I was pregnant at that time.

As sleep slowly enveloped my entire being, I only wished to be in Yoongi’s arm again.

(Present