I am sitting under our shed, legs on either sides of the chart paper as I sketch the outlines of the banner and cursing sun’s being for being able to spread heat without having to directly reach me. When I look up and see Mina jogging over to me with a pink sharpie in her hand and a smile as if she has just seen 2min make out, I go ohmygodohmygod. However then I notice something. She looks like she has been the one making out but then I realise her other has burger and I go oh because she was making out but with a burger that is.

“Hey, Yumi, want to watch a football game? Minho is playing!” Mina, I’d love to, but why did you mention Minho as if I, God forbid, have a crush on him? Shouldn’t this news be entering Taemin’s cute pink ears so he comes running with a water bottle with a smile as bright as the sun and cheeks flushed baby pink when he sees his Minho hyungie all sweaty and breathless, searching to resolve his thirst. A kind of thirst he probably wishes to erase by his own hands…and mouth, or . Or maybe so he looks up admiring Minho’s adam’s apple as he downs the water, it bobbing with each gulp.

“I will be there. Is Taemin there?” I ask out normally but then who am I kidding because I am beyond curious and although curiosity killed the cat, I am sure this has been proven wrong to Taemin when he stalks his hyung changing his clothes only to get a glimpse or few of the well-sculpted tan abs. Now this comes from a real moment.

I don’t know what grudge does luck have against Taemin but I have caught him staring so many times that now when he’s staring, I join in and stare with him till he realizes that not only is he being watched but his hyung is being watched too, half so he must act to distract me. Why you ask? Of course you wouldn’t want someone else to stare at your boyfriend’s half- glory.

Once, he had the audacity to distract me by asking noona what are you looking at? With that tone which is borderline oooo you’re staring, wiggles eyebrows but then I, without tearing my eyes off the man retorted back with what you were drooling over, Taeminnie. And that shut him up, for, the eyebrows which were about to wiggle and make me into the bad girl now calm down and assist in the blinking that comes with it.

I couldn’t help but pinch his cheeks and leave him alone with his Minho hyungie and his tan abs.

Haaa, just make babies already.

Honestly, if Taemin stops being the sneaky little minx and just admits having feelings towards his hyung, I’ll pledge to all the 2min shipping ancestors and do whatever I can to set him up with his prince charming. But of course that comes with a price; I need a baby within a year at least. Who wouldn’t want to see a baby with Taemin’s beautiful lips, honey brown hair, pale skin and cute ears and Minho’s big, disgustingly big eyes??

I roll up the chart paper and follow Mina to the football ground, immediately catching sight of Taemin whispering into Jongin’s ear, having to tip toe, aw my cute tiny baby. But then I notice what or who he is directing his same shy eyes at and it’s, obviously, a certain tall Choi, doing tricks with the ball while waiting patiently for the referee to signal the beginning of the game.

Now Taemin isn’t like omg ew games, I’ll just dance, he is very swift, he can run fast and think strategically. He has the ability to distract people really well. Okay let me tell you how.

Let’s suppose people=Choi Minho which is true 99.9% time. You must be thinking, where did the 0.1% go? Who are other people who get distracted? I’ll proudly say Minho and Mina’s birth-givers aka Mr and Mrs Choi.

Let’s start with Choi Minho. There are countless times Minho had been smacked in the face by a football when his Taeminnie came running to tell him something important. You might think, what’s so important that Minho wouldn’t mind getting hit in the face for? The thing is, it’s not the thing which is important, usually it’s just his baby cheese’s call, tiny satan blinking for 1000 years after realizing that he had induced another distraction and panicking because what if his soon-to-be-boyfriend loses his nose? What if their kids end up looking like a bunch of Voldemorts? And when Minho has rubbed his nose and asked a few times what it was, guess what it turns out to be?

Minho hyung can I borrow your ?

Just kidding. How I wish that was true! Though I think Taemin will not just borrow.

And then Minho hyungie gives this smile which is borderline irritated but then those big eyes catch the beautiful eyes of the younger and his typical blinks with a pout on his lips to tell he is sorry and Minho comes. Comes back down to Earth because what the was he doing in heaven with this ethereal creature??

There is no way Taemin is a human and honestly, if Minho thinks that, I agree. He is Satan’s descent.

Though obviously that’s not what Minho thinks.

About Mr and Mrs Choi, the boy just has to whine a pitch higher at Minho and magically mother Choi installs herself beside her son to smack him with a spatula. Yes, a spatula she was using to mix the cake mixture. Taemin’s mothers are spatula-woman; one being his actual mother, two being Kibum and third although not mother but mother-in-law.

Then of course father Choi has to let out a rather, fatherly laugh where one guffaws making sure neighbours hear that they are happy (after he had told Minho off out of the lounge because he was distracting him from the TV show but of course that doesn’t apply on the baby satan). This also comes in different shapes and sizes like fatherly sneeze, which has a secret agenda behind it to cause an earthquake and a fatherly yawn, which might as well be a lion’s roar.

Heck, I think fathers have the ability to replace the lion before Tom &Jerry with their yawn.

I hear a whistle and soon the game begins. Like normal humans, I sit in the shed near the football ground and spectate. I say normal humans because baby cheese, being anyone but human, decides it’s best to stand by the boundary and eat Jongin’s brain about Minho’s unreal built. I assume he is talking about Minho because he’s blushing but then I remind myself that the boy is just naturally pink and adorable and oh my God that was heroic, Choi Minho.

Let me tell you what happened.

So Kris takes a shoot from Mars and somehow it ends up getting deflected toward Taemin’s spot and this Choi Minho, oh my God he’s a fool in love, does a bicycle kick to smack it back in Suho’s face.

Hero but still an idiot.

Suho got hurt but does Minho care?

No?

While Jongin flies to Suho and the rest of the college appears beside Suho, what is this frog prince doing?

“Taemin-ah, you okay?”

Does Taemin-ah look hurt Minho?

Look around yourself. Is there anyone who is actually hurt?

Look at the trees, the grass and maybe at Suho too, just a glance.

But boy, Taemin’s face is like a force field, like Jinki’s thick skull past which he sees nothing.

In fact, Taemin is blinking over his shoulder, wanting to tell him that minho hyungie, it’s Suho hyung and I’m already on my feet, realizing Mina beat me to it.

“It’s Suho, Minho.” Mina informs her brother and I make sure I put the rolled up chart paper to good use as I collide it against the tall junior’s head. He turns to me, ready to defend himself.

“What??”

I hit him once more, this time on his cheek and gesture behind him and then he turns.

“Oh - Suho.”

Right Choi. S u h o. Not T a e m i n a h.

Thinking of Taemin-ah, I turn to the cause of the commotion and he is standing confused,  looking like he’s not sure if he should tend to his classmate or not.

This is Taemin’s specialty. He doesn’t bring disasters, he’s the disaster.

“Feeling flustered, aren’t you, Taemin-ah?” I mock and Mina joins in, nudging him in the ribs.

“What voodoo magic have you done on my brother?”

“Ha?” And he has the audacity to make the same face.

You know like how he turns a shade of red in the ears and nose and blinks as if it’s some fastest-blinking competition, tiny fingers fumbling to form a lie he knows he can’t tell without stuttering and ending up hiccupping.

He hiccups.

This is not any medical condition but Taemin hiccups when he is nervous and guess whose heart is racing at the speed of light?

“You know you can tell us.” I inform him, watching as they make Suho stand, his arm around Minho’s shoulder which is a bit too high for him. Why don’t they get Kyungsoo, boy is a good lean-on stand.  

“Tell what?? I..I don’t know what you guys are talking about.” And then he thinks he can slip away but Mina slumps a flimsy arm around his shoulder and straddles his neck while I twist his ear, enough to make him stop wriggling about but not to hurt the tiny already-red ear. The last thing I want is for Minho’s inner protective radar to go off and come for my innocent .

“Aegi-ah, you can tell us. You’re so obvious!”

“We are just….friends!” He whines but if I was not broke, I’d have bought it. I mean which guy blushes when he sees another guy? Which guy talks to another guy in a voice which should only belong in gay and submissive ? Which guy makes excuses to be with another guy and when given time, goes all shy and fidgety??

Oh and which guy comes back to check and ask a one last you’re okay right?  To another guy when the man he is holding is the actual one injured?

“Yeah hyung-“ As soon as Minho is gone, we drag him to the shed and make him sit on the bench but we didn’t ask him to sit like a bottom where his hands are between his thighs and he basically glows the glory of a bottom guy.

I don’t even know why I am sitting on the ground as if he’s the king. I am sitting on the ground because he’s the king but not mine, Minho’s, maybe his world too.

“So, are you telling or we…” I motion with my hand which is to threaten him but he frowns. Mina is quick to slap his shin.

“Ow! It’s nothing! Stop watching .” Maybe you should stop watching your Minho hyungie with those eyes. I am not into so I don’t even know where his brain went but then I recall him being Jinki’s brother and maybe they both share one braincell.

That explains it.

“Yah Taemin-ah!” Think of the devil’s brother and he is there. “Oh- you’re with your noonas.”

No Jinki, he’s hunting. There goes another ostrich.

Jinki, we are investigating your brother because he thinks he is a great liar, which he is, to himself because he keeps denying the obvious.

“Hyung help! They are on it again!” He is not your Minho hyung Taeminnie, he won’t. And I get proved right when Jinki simply smiles this usual smile of his which is in competition with the sun’s radiance and dishevels his hair jogging off with you’re so cute. To which the boy scrunches up his nose in pure cringe which translates to him not liking it one bit but I’d like to remind you that your Minho hyung does that all the time and what do you do?

Hehe.

Not even exaggerating.

Are you a baby?

No.

Do you look like a baby?

Maybe yes.

Are you baby without ‘a’?

Yes. He’s baby. Minho’s baby. Maybe he’s the inventor of daddy-kink? Because he’s so baby? The original baby?

I don’t even know what I’m saying at this point because I am frustrated of how baby he is when it’s not even an adjective.

“Taeminnie likes my brother, doesn’t he?” Mina pokes his cheek and he does an effort to peel her arms off him but she only huggles him closer. I can hear Mina squealing because of how cute he is being when he’s in pure denial.  

“Of course I do!” I’m sorry what? “I mean- he’s my friend.” And I’m a unicorn.

“Why do you stare at his abs and want to touch them then?” I wiggle my eyebrows at him. “Why do you always mention his name when asked who do you think is handsome?” He simply opens his mouth to reason but I am smirking and I see a slight twitch at the corner of his lips.

“Wha-?? He has a nice body and he is very handsome. I admire him!” And Mina is the one pulling his cheeks now.

“Pretty little liar, you think we can’t see how you go all giggly around him??”

“He’s funny!”

“Baekhyun is funnier but you don’t blush around him??”

He is rubbing his cheeks now, wiggling to get up but I get hold of his ankle and make him sit back down. Seriously, if it was Minho doing this, he’d have gotten pregnant.

“And if there is nothing, why is that self-appointed mother of yours always dragging you away from him, hm?” That throws him off because he goes stone-cold then I see the same lingering smile which should not be there if you’re being assaulted.

“What?”

Key knows something and I want to find it out.