In my younger and more vulnerable years my father gave me some advice that I’ve been turning over in my mind ever since. 

“Whenever you feel like criticizing anyone” he told me, “just remember that all the people in this world haven’t had the advantages that you’ve had.” 

When Chaeyoung moved in Long Island, she had dreams but also a very narrow idea about what life could be outside the Carraway’s mansion. Born in a family full of traditions, unaffected by any of the new rich coming from all four sides of this tiny world, she’s been lucky to travel without thinking twice until a family dinner, the eldest member compelling her to put down roots. Women could scamper but they must settle once eighteen being reached. 

Chaeyoung, until that day, has been discreet. For four years she found new aspirations, she graduated from New Haven and made herself insignificant, watching with curious eyes the world from a snowball. She dodged men's scorn, naïve but also aware of the privilege. There was something, there, a light she must catch. The fresh air coming from the bay, dividing the East and West egg made it all more genuine.  

From the land, she could hear the soft hum from New York. World war I left scars but also hope for the young and ambitious soul. Chaeyoung felt it on the tips of her little fingers. There was something stirring inside her heart, some sense of pride. When she came back from a long travel around Europe, she made the women gasp out of horror. It was absurd, for a woman, to compete beside men as if they had the nerve for such a manly world. 

“A woman ?! Seeking to learn the bond of business ?!” But what mattered was her father’s proud expression. Being the only child made it all untroubled. Maybe he saw in her some hope for the family’s legacy, shaping a woman into a shark, but a motherly eye knew better. Despite Chaeyoung being ambitious, her mother detected some artsy genes ever since she was a little girl and waited, looking at the raft drifting into another shore, the one Chaeyoung belonged to. 

But once settled in West egg, the less fashionable part of the bay, Chaeyoung felt home, squeezed between two huge places. Actually, her new house was formerly attached to a mansion, hosting the employees from one of the colossal affairs she’s standing in between. From the outside it looked abandoned but a day or two has been enough to clear the place and make it cozy.  

There she was, standing in the porch, looking at the faint green light, hardly shining in day time. A content sigh escaped her lips when she noticed someone, looking at her from a tower. Uninformed about Gatsby, she met with a shadow that disappeared behind curtains. The first day, Chaeyoung noticed the mansion had a marble pool and more than forty acres of lawn and a garden. The place was almost excessive for a single man. But the whole mystery started when the Hirai’s - old friends, asked her for dinner. They lived on the East side, the old rich. Mina, Chaeyoung’s dear friend, got married to an incredible woman and for the 20s it was pure sin. Luckily, under a complex bewilderment, the fortune and galas made it all less shocking. Money made it worth the impiety, less unconventional as long as prosperity and tradition kept intact.  

Momo, Mina’s wife had made it to the football team in her youngest years. The first woman to ever battle with men in sports field. No wonder Mina’s ambitious self fell for such a strong personality and Chaeyoung saw it, from a shy eye, the love building behind closed doors as Momo gave Mina the world until she said yes. Born in a wealthy family, Momo followed their steps and reached the excellence without much struggle. The surprising part was their permanent move, there, in East egg. Momo has been restless, fueled by the need of adventure, flying from a city to another, Mina holding her hand.  

When Chaeyoung reached their house, she tried to comprehend how young souls could own a Georgian mansion, lawn starting from the beach to reach the house’s doors, white curtains spiraling with the wind and making it all look unreal. The warm windy afternoon made it all attractive, as if she just opened a magazine with doll’s houses, perfectly pictured to magnetize the insatiable.  

“Carraway ! My friend. You’re early, how disrespectful.” Momo’s voice rang inside her ears in a bittersweet melody. She had this raw, shivery voice and arrogant eyes. She got down from a black horse, boots meeting the gravel before walking towards her friend, pushing her into a tight hug. Indeed, years of American football made her sturdy. 

“I’d rather show up early than late, the premises of a party are as interesting than the middle of it.” But this was Chaeyoung’s innocence talking, putting into words knowledge she caught through discussing without experimenting much. Travelling didn’t transform her into a party monster, far from it, she was a juvenile impassioned spirit full of need to see, feel and touch this wavering feeling of life. 

“What are those manners ? We didn’t built cars for you to believe time has no importance.” Momo joked while they reached the porch, doors covered in splendid ivy, grapes blooming under the French windows. Hirai was avant-garde, a woman with a godlessly body striding through her own fortune whilst wearing gentleman’s clothes, perfectly hugging her curves. She was intimidating yet the most sensuous woman Chaeyoung’s ever met. Inside, they passed through a large and radiant hallway giving into their enormous garden, full of roses. The guest was baffled. Soon, they stepped inside a round room filled with feminine laughs. One was loud, frank and the other ; delicate, chosen.  

“Oh god, close the windows !” Despite her high-pitched voice, virility exuded from her tone. No wonder she looked fearless and vigorous. Momo stormed inside the room, closing the windows as the white curtains fell roughly back to their place after a celestial dance. In the middle of the room, after a sea of curtains shadowing the furniture, a couch stood and a woman laid eyes on Chaeyoung’s small figure. She wore this conscientious smile, a bubbling laugh escaping from her perfect lips whilst their eyes met in a warm welcome. 

“Mina, it’s been years !” The youngest spoke, reaching for Mina’s hand. She laughed again, introducing her friend. The blonde woman gave no intention to speak, she seemed a bit reluctant to meet a new person but once the first words hustled in the air, she made her voice clear. 

“Minatozaki, but call me Sana.” Chaeyoung almost felt sorry for listening to this seemingly private information. Indeed, this woman had a very good excuse to act like a diamond, she was the new Japanese golf talent, of course Chaeyoung saw her in the newspaper but since she isn’t into sports, it slipped out of her memory. 

“She’s cold from the outside but warm on the inside.” Mina teased. She stood up, catching Chaeyoung’s hand to make her reach the balcony, the marine fresh wind blew through their short hair and both exploded from pure happiness. Blue and white ships sailed through the bay in between the new and old rich, both woman and man enjoying summer. It was thrilling to find themselves in a place glowing from intrepid and resourceful Men, ready to gamble for a car, for great fortune, for the thrill of it. Chaeyoung dreamt about this stimulation, the buzzing sound of the new America, faster, stronger, she gave in into its seduction and chose to be part of its growth. Mina’s voice took her out from a passionate reverie with a dialogue full of melodious notes. This woman was a fishnet in the sea, catching the splendid and hideous, without filter. 

“Tell me about you.” Chaeyoung felt a bit ashamed to unveil her own reality. She bought a bungalow stuck in between two residences, known to serve employees but Mina had this habit to make you worth the tale. She listened to the clumsy story of her travels, Chaeyoung feeling more at ease under warm eyes until she heard steps coming from behind. Sana was there, silent when Momo came in, fastening her sleeve with brutal elegance. 

“Dinner is ready, I’m sorry for the wait.” Momo changed her clothes and was wearing a sleeveless dark jacket above a white shirt. She had man’s pants, dark polished shoes and long black hair waving above one shoulder. Chaeyoung caught Mina eyeing her, obviously pleased and she wondered where did the thorns hide for the roses to look so ravishing ? 

“Ever since we moved, I feel a bit nostalgic. Do people miss me ? I mean, in New York ?” Mina almost danced, smelling just like the flowers. They reached the terrace, many employees establishing a perfect and neat dinner for the guests. Sana sat down, looking curious but fierce, as if Chaeyoung possessed some secrets she died to find out. Momo found place at the far end of the table, Mina sitting across while Chaeyoung faced the golf master. 

“People do miss you. I’ve been in New York last week and the whole town is desolate. You should step back in to color our dear New York.” Chaeyoung was teasing but sincere, Mina was a breath of fresh air lately. But Mina hadn’t always been jaunty. Before she met with Momo, years ago, a feeling kept lingering at the surface, as if the boat kept sinking and nobody could save it from scuttling down. Chaeyoung has seen it from a far eye, she tried with kind words to cheer upon her but something else came up, changed her, moved her in ways... 

“Marvelous ! I can’t wait until we go back there.” Mina has this habit to spread love. Momo couldn’t contain a smile, inquiring to eat before it gets cold. The dinner was joyful. Sana wasn’t as cold as she looked. Her knowledge about the city and gossips were crazy, you could ask her about anybody and she would know a sketch. Mina and Momo had similar sense of humor which made it all easy to converse, to feel at home and understood. Chaeyoung didn’t see time flying by and once she caught up with time, the dinner was over. When silence draped the scene, it suddenly felt impersonal. It felt like a harsh stab in the chest, a lack of intensity that died inside Momo’s throat and Mina’s eyes.  

“You live in West egg, right ?” Sana stood up, reaching the low wall to get lost into the contemplation of the calm sea. 

“I do, just there.” Chaeyoung pointed her finger towards the exact opposite of the bay.  

“You must know Gatsby then.” Voice like a dream, Sana was buried deep inside her thoughts. She kept touching her necklace mindlessly when a bang got them out of this melancholic atmosphere. 

“What Gatsby ?” Mina breathed, still sitting at the table. Momo looked puzzled. 

“The Gatsby ! Don’t be foolish.” But Chaeyoung had no clue about who was this Gatsby. She never heard about a man or woman with such an appealing name. Momo rasped her voice, as if Gatsby’s name rouse from her inner stomach to her tongue. She stood up and took the youngest by the arm, leaving the scenery of a soon to be a dramatic fight of foolishness. She was tense but Chaeyoung noticed the effort to please her and save her from an embarrassing moment.  

“Sorry for being pessimistic but the girls are getting tired and gossipy. Sometimes their dreamy head create delicate situations.” Momo stopped in the middle of their huge hall. Head up, Chaeyoung saw the last rays of sunshine bathing in orange the sad walls. How could ignorance and awkward timing make it all shrivel ? Gatsby must be surrounded by profound mysteries to generate the fall of a delightful dinner. 

“I don’t mind, really.” Chaeyoung had no clue about what has been put on the table, nor Sana, nor anybody else but Mina.  

“But-” A butler came up, whispering something against Momo’s hear with an absolute discretion. Chaeyoung didn’t noticed Mina and Sana at the back, talking and chatting before Momo frowned and left the hall, excusing herself. Chaeyoung was about to speak when someone caught her arm, face light up by interest. 

“Don’t talk, I want to hear what happens.” Both could hear impassioned murmurs coming out from a room, somewhere immersed inside this mansion. Mina was there, looking at the void, as if she couldn’t hear half of what the guests could catch. The voices became louder, rushed, Mina disappeared.  

“What’s happening ?” Chaeyoung tried. 

“You’ve been friends with Momo for a while and you don’t know ?” Sana looked surprised, offend almost. 

“Women keep calling to get Momo’s attention and unfortunately she’s never been too good with boundaries.” But without questioning more the sound of hard boots hit the ground, two silhouettes coming from a far room without the intention to relieve the atmosphere from its heaviness. Mina was following Momo, lingering feelings threatening to fall from her eyes to pour into the house. 

“The moon ain’t nowhere to be seen but the air and the birds, singing to me, to the world - made my heart... burst out of intense emotion, y’know !” Mina’s speaking was incoherent but her composed expression made it all sadder. How strong this seemingly fragile woman was ? Chaeyoung couldn’t tell. 

“Romantic, oh so romantic love.” Momo voiced out with uncertainty before looking at her friend, in the eye. 

“My dear friend, I’m sorry for-” But it rang again. They all started to avoid eyes, as if anything that happened today vanished in the air, like a memory impossible to grasp - swapped by the brutal instant. Chaeyoung saw Mina’s eyes waver, asking for decency, for herself to stay honorable. Momo blinked twice, looking towards her butler and they all sighed in content when she dismissed the call. Sana joined Momo for a little talk while Chaeyoung stayed with Mina, the elegant woman fighting back a smile that broke over her full lips, because everything had to be fine in paradise.  

“We don’t know each other very well anymore, Chaeyoung.” The evening became weirder and weirder, time made no sense and Chaeyoung couldn’t recall how it all started.  

“I’ve been away for a while and you too, that’s a pretty good excuse.” She tried to joke but Mina wasn’t there, her mind floating around.  

“Indeed, you didn’t come to our wedding.”  

“I was in France, my purse got robbed and it took me so much time to go back here.” Chaeyoung scoffed. This was a terrible memory. The last day of her trip around Europe, getting robbed and handling stress wasn’t part of the plan. She’s never been good with sudden situations; her only luck was patience. Following the rules weren’t that hard but it reminded her of how much she couldn’t bear being called a fool for being distracted. She did put energy on focusing but sometimes her mind got caught by the worlds beauty and she couldn’t be aware of anything else than the sky, birds, people. 

“I became pretty cynical about anything. It would have been good to have you there, for support.” They kept talking, changing subject, subtilities. Momo had disappeared and Sana came back after a short while. Three souls waiting for the chief, being God knows where. Sana bend a bit, wind playing with her blonde locks. Her eyes could pierce any mind with its shrewdness. Chaeyoung felt a bit uneasy being stuck in between a strong and mysterious woman and another, delicate and lost. Mina looked worn out, her eyes lost its sparkles.  

“You see I think everything’s terrible anyhow. Everybody thinks so – the most advanced people. And I know. I’ve been everywhere and seen everything and done everything.” Mina exhaled, Sana listening and feeling it deep. Silence filled loudly their ears, Chaeyoung felt sadness washing over her heart. Could the American dream be so easy to consume ? Humanity was threatening to fall, its most perfect creature was tired in between silky sheets. Chaeyoung wanted to save Mina’s thoughts about what life could be - travels and luxury are true assassins for the youth.  

Chaeyoung thought the evening met with masquerade and when Mina turn around, showing off her best smirk, she knew. The Hirai’s lived in a world full of secrecy in which only the best actors could penetrate. 

***** 

The chauffeur dropped Chaeyoung near her small bungalow. In between trees, she could see the bay and a green light on the other side. It tinkled, the only source of light from the East egg. The Hirai’s house it seemed. She sat down on her porch, loneliness soaking her bones in a persistent manner when she noticed a shape from the corner of her eyes. 

There was a bridge above water and someone, at the tip, looking at the light as if it was part of a far memory. Hidden under the roof, darkened by the tree's shadows, she noticed it was a woman. The mansion being Gatsby’s, the woman being the owner was surprising. Of course, Momo was one of the most successful women in town, in New York ! But there was something about Gatsby, the murmurs and the tension it could create that made Chaeyoung curious. How could a woman agitate hearts without stealing the spotlight ?  

Chaeyoung wanted to call, introduce herself but Gatsby gave off the feeling that she needed to be alone. In the dark, she stretched her arm, fingers touching the light, shivering. Red long wavy hair perfectly hugged the curve of her spine. Each detail, in the night, was vivid. The scene was a canvas to be paint and when Chaeyoung looked back at the woman after a short moment of absence, she was nowhere to be seen.