Should I message?

Or not.

I mean, what’s the worse case scenario? It’s not like he’ll murder me or something. It’s just a message. On second thoughts though, what if he does? It’s Taemin, he will probably mutilate my body too.

Couldn’t you resist him?

I mean, of all the people, you really had to pounce on him? There was, Kibum.

I cringe at the mere thought, finding myself scrunching my face in the phone’s reflection because the guy is that much of a nuisance. Nuisance or not, he helped me today. Sometimes you have to take the back up your . It may hurt but it’s not the worst pain you encounter.

Jonghyun hyung?

Nah, one of the reasons I didn’t take Kibum because then I’ll be missing the very organ I shoved up Taemin’s . From the amount of ing they do, I bet my would’ve gotten lost in the cavern.

Jinki hyung is just a big no because he’s straight but then I am straight too, for everyone else. Basically no one knows I’ve slept with Taemin except Taemin and Kibum and his mother and my mother.

And like million other people when they see the visible baby bump in a few months.

Not that the baby will itself be like yo, this tall- man is my father but the human who’s carrying him has a tongue and he will for sure use it.

“Did you message him or not??” Mum is saying and I am looking at her in kitchen, my peripheral vision upside down due to my head hanging off the arm-support of the couch. I shake my head and get up just in time with mum throwing a broccoli which was aimed at my face.

You see, mother Choi never misses her target unless you like move away, which I did.

“How many times do I have to tell you to message him?! What kind of man leaves the other be after impregnating them??” You see mum, your son wants to message but the person he impregnated is waiting to kill me. Yeah, I might have laughed when he kneed me and shouted at me and cursed at me and shoved me into the cubicle which is disgusting but he looked cute regardless of the profanities leaving those lips, though it doesn’t change the fact that he is waiting for me to make a wrong move so he slits my throat.

I get to a proper sitting position and sigh.

“Mom it’s not that easy.” I duck right away, feeling another broccoli fly over my head. “Hah! Not this tim-“

Another one squares me in the forehead and I sit emotionless while she scolds and scolds.

“If you were not responsible, you shouldn’t have gone around shoving your joke in people’s faces.” This time she marches over to me and is about to rant more when there is a tinkle on the door, both of us going silent.

Dad’s here.

And if dad’s here, you must remain quiet.

As soon as he walks in, I am dashing into my room after saying a hey dad because first of all, if I stay here for 2 more minutes, he’ll start rambling on about some irrelevant business man and that isn’t funny because most of the time, the business man is worth murdering, that’s what he convinces you of.

And honestly, I can’t afford going to jail while I have 2 responsibilites now.

Second being he’ll ask about the weird awrkwardness lingering in the house which I am not telling him about yet because what if he disowns me?? Then no money and all the claims of taking care of everything end up in hell along with me. Third being, Minseok hyung isn’t here so if something goes wrong after I tell him what has gone down, I am sure I’m ending up dead before Taemin has the chance of suffocating me with his baby bump.

When I go to my room, I stare at his profile on Whatsapp for what feels like an eternity and then somehow end up going on google to see if one can kill someone over a chat or if someone has ever killed someone over getting impregnated by them.

I blink with pure horror when I find cases of people actually murdering people over it and I don’t even know how I end up skipping dinner or the obligatory news-watching with dad, the entire evening spent praying to God that I don’t end up with an amputated by tomorrow.

With a heavy heart and a cross by my side, how hypocrite of me, I decide it’s time I send him a message.

Okay, should I just be like hi, it’s Minho.

No. I cringe. He will block me for sure.

Do you want to hear a joke?

Just to, you know, see if he’s online and replies but then what if he does reply, what should my joke be?? And knowing Taemin, he’ll definitely be like your ?

I bury my face on the pillow in my lap, phone by my side and think.

It’s the baby’s dad!

Yeah, sure. As if he’ll reply with the same cheerfulness. What am I even thinking?? He’ll probably be like It’s your murderer!

It’s Minho hyung.

Why do I lowkey sound like some dad who is about to murder his kids for checking a file named ajsk meant for ?

Look, I know you’re mad and you should be but I swear, believe me when I say this but I will do my best. We’ll get through this together. You won’t even feel the months pass by!

What the am I? A sentimentally ill human? Why am I starting the chat with a message which is like asking to be blocked?

Yo, I love babies, can you keep it?

That’s the best my brain can come up with? If I send him this, he’ll for sure use his hidden Satanic technology, end up in my bedroom and stab me to death.

You looked really beautiful today, as usual.
Oh by the way, can you keep the baby?

I erase it right away because what the hell am I thinking? With one hand in my hair, I type the first thing which gets in my mind.

Hey!

I click away, knowing very well he won’t reply this quickly and honestly I’m too embarrassed to sit there and watch. I begin listening to music instead while doing my pre-calculus assignment.

Yes, I am the kind who can multitask. Got it from Minseok hyung, if it’s possible to get it from your brother.

Suddenly I hear a ting and I almost jump 2 feet off my bed, calculus long forgotten.

As expected, he doesn’t reply right away and when he does, he sounds like he wants to jump out of the screen and kill me.

I don’t even know why I can’t type properly.

I sweat profusely, thumb palpitating and trying to type properly. Somehow I am replying right away although I had gone blank when he first replied.

I find myself chewing on my fingernails, waiting for a reply, beyond worried. The way he was throwing up in school, I don’t feel like he can eat anything. If he can’t eat, he will remain skinny and he’s too skinny. The baby might do the work of a paperweight of him. At least now Kibum doesn’t have to hook an arm around his arm all the time making sure he doesn’t get blown away by wind.

I laugh at my own thoughts, weirded out by how lightly I am taking this whole situation.






I expected that.

Why am I not surprised?

That was so dumb of me.

Of course Choi Minho, if you’ll present your idiocy in a platter, he will have all the reasons to laugh at you.

I once again click away, slightly angered that he doesn’t reply me right away when I see him online but that’s just him being him where he thinks he’ll shoo me away if he doesn’t reply me.

I can finally feel maths, with all the problems associated with it, I don’t even know how it is still going strong.

I am maths.

With lots of problems. Taemin’s last name is lots of problems in case no one knew. I stare at the screen blankly because he hasn’t replied and I am very impatient so I message him again.



I put my phone away, eyes fixed over the scowling ceiling.

I don’t even know why he’s playing so hard to get. He wasn’t like that when he was on all fours.

On second thoughts though, Kibum said he usually sleeps by 1 so that means he was up for almost 2 more hours. I smile to myself at that because guess who succeeded in keeping him up? But just as I smile, it gets erased off recalling how he has to get up early and if he doesn’t get enough sleep, he won’t be able to make it to school and then I will be blamed for that too.

I always used to think Taemin was different but I didn’t mean is capable of getting pregnant different. I mean, can you look at a guy and tell if he can carry? Because I can’t. I don’t even know what got into me that evening. I just remember him looking extremely hypnotizing and to be honest, 16 or not, he does act like a .

When he took me into a changing room because he accidentally spilled all the apple juice over my coat, I am sure that he is experienced like me but then the face, God, the face he made when I am knuckles deep into his and he is squirming and hitting my arm, wanting it out. I won’t be lying when I say I was laughing while he was blushing. When I was about to take it out, I don’t know what got into him but he rolls his hips back till my digits are in him again and he is blushing and shivering and telling me to take it slow.

Just the image of his in the air, baby cheeks pooling over the pillow as he looks over his small, pale shoulder and begs me to take my time, going scarlet, perspiring, breathing heavily.

God.

His skills though.

If he wasn’t shying away, I’d have assumed he was a cheap giving s on the streets. And just the way he moans without any inhibitions is enough to warm me up all over again but I don’t touch myself because first, Mom has a habit of randomly barging in to see if I am breathing fine and secondly, dad has a weird habit of randomly walking in without glasses, thinking it’s his room, only then to realise it’s not and guffawing his way out.

That’s such a dad thing to do.

I wonder if I’ll be like that too.

I don’t have to worry about Minseok hyung’s random hello in the middle of the night because he’s not here and I am thinking God he isn’t here because if he was here, I’d be in a grave.

So basically there are 3 people after me.

Taemin, mom and Minseok hyung plus thousand other people who Taemin will send after me.

Lowkey though, he is so adorable. He thinks he’s fierce but he’s a whole fluff ball. One of the reasons why I didn’t mind sleeping with him. I mean no ing , I don’t just sleep with anyone. That sounds so cliché but it’s true. As I am propping my chin on the pillow and lying on my chest, I am huffing up my cheeks because I really want to make way into his heart.

God, I love kids.

And a baby with him?? With his baby hands, beautiful eyes, pillowy cheeks and a charm to his smile?? I really can’t help myself but squeal.

I have already decided a name.

Choi Gunhoo for a boy and Choi Mishil for a girl.

I hope it's not twins, though I don’t mind, I’d like my to use in the near future.

I am not in love, don’t get me wrong.

I just want the baby.

Who doesn’t love babies??