The rings of my phone
are coming in, and with it a smile this morning
You’re recounting, of how last night you and I
met inside your dream

“Must be a bad dream, huh?”

The scoff from the other end of the call sounds real close, as though Chaewon isn’t hundreds of meters away from her, as though Chaewon is right here, lounging on her bed next to her.

“Any dreams with you is never a nightmare,” the faraway voice seriously says, and Hitomi closes her eyes, letting her mind to conjure up the image of Chaewon, frowning as the older girl utters the words. Chaewon never backs down from roasting the other members whenever they joke around, but when it comes to Hitomi, she’s never willing to joke about feelings; even if it means having to listen to Yena calling her out as a whipped radish, even if it means having to lose some rounds because Yujin likes to bring Hitomi up as her hidden card in every argument.

It’s one of the reasons why Hitomi adores her so.

Without knowing why, I swear I feel
like you are here next to me
The sound of your laughter
will stay as my best company

She smiles,

“You were in my dream too, unnie.”

“Really?”

“Mhm. I think you were a hired clown for Wonyoung’s fifth birthday party—”

And then Chaewon starts to loudly protest the predicament her dream counterpart was in, causing her smile to break into a series of giggles.

I am right here, and you’re over there
Our phones taking in the voice in the air

“Hitomi.”

“Mmm?”

“Hitomi.”

“Unnie.”

“Hitomi.”

“Chaewon-unnie.”

“Hitomi.” She doesn’t think she will ever get tired of this, of listening to Chaewon’s voice calling her name. “Hitomi, I miss you so much.”

And she doesn’t think she will ever get used to this, of Chaewon confessing her heart out, always out of nowhere, always catching her off-guard.

“Ah, but it’s not even noon yet, though? It’s barely been a day since we last met, unnie.”

Yet I will keep wishing for the day
I could have you back in my care

“So you don’t miss me back?”

A sulk. A sulking tone that never fails to make her heart melt into a sweet puddle under her feet, a sulking tone that makes her want to quickly go to where Chaewon is and glue herself to her side forever. With the strongest adhesive to ever exist, if need be.

“No, I—” she exhales, biting her lower lip, “I miss you too.”

Her cheeks warm up at the quiet confession escaping her lips, and she almost presses the red icon to end the call when Chaewon airily laughs.

“Don’t use that kind of tone,” Chaewon murmurs after a few seconds, and Hitomi wants to ask what tone, and why can’t I, and how should I say it then, but Chaewon takes a deep breath.

Adding,

“It makes me want to come to you running.”

And that’s just her sweettalking.

That’s definitely just her sweettalking, Hitomi is convinced that Chaewon is just sweettalking, but still. It still makes her blush, it still makes her smile. It’s still countless petals of roses that blooms inside her chest upon hearing the words, sweet and warm with only the barest hint of ache underlying them all.

Even though right now you’re out there somewhere
Overhead is still the same sky we share

“Hitomi? Why are you silent?”

“Mmm. Was just staring at the sky outside of the window.”

“Oh? What a coincidence! Me too, don’t tell me—”

Hurried footsteps from the other end start to fill in the silence left by the pregnant pause of Chaewon’s words. Hitomi just listens, listens as the footsteps slow down after a few seconds, listens when the footsteps completely fade, listens as Chaewon inhales a breath in a quick manner as though feigning a gasp.

“Don’t tell me it’s fate.”

“LIES!” another voice that sounds very much like Minjoo yells, “HII-CHAN SHE’S LYING, SHE ALMOST TRIPPED JUST NOW FROM TRYING TO GET TO THE WINDOW QUICKLY—"

“Quiet, you jealous imp!” shoots Chaewon in dismay, “Jealousy says a lot more about your own incapability—”

“YEAH MY INCAPABILITY ALRIGHT, MY INCAPABILITY TO DEAL WITH YOUR GODDAMN LIES—”

Hitomi laughs.

Even out of sight, you’re still
So close to my heart

She waits until the bickering subsides, with the sound of Minjoo’s footsteps dramatically stomping out of the room and Chaewon grumbling into their call, mumbling rumour-mongering witch, defamation devil, name slandering frog—

“Chaewon-unnie.”

The grumpy remarks fade, replaced with a deep, long sigh that would definitely be followed with an apology. Hitomi’s smile slowly widens, unseen by her conversation partner, and she murmurs,

“I don’t think we need coincidences to be each other’s fate.”

And even though the physical distance stretching between them feels cold, the surprised exhale followed by a triumphant oh my God from Chaewon’s side feels warm, a blanket so warmly cocooning every inch of her heart.

The rings of my phone
are coming in, and with it a smile this morning
The mirth in your tone, more than enough
to make my heart sing

Hanging out in a foreign land has one important advantage: she doesn’t need to terribly disguise herself.

The staff assigned by the agency to keep her company doesn’t seem awfully stressed about guarding her and making sure no sasaengs are recognizing her, and sure, perhaps it means that she’s not popular enough, but in this kind of occasions, being only moderately known doesn’t seem too bad.

Inside her pocket, her phone vibrates, and she arches an eyebrow. A peek and it’s a voice mail, obviously from a certain someone places away. She takes a glance at the staff, making sure that he’s busy checking after their ordered foods.

She then plucks in her airpods and taps on the notification, playing the message.

“Do you perhaps fancy overthrowing the Sun? We can replace it with you. So that I won’t need a pair of sunglasses to go out at noon. I’d risk blindness whenever, I’d still spend hours staring at you—"

Here I stand still, you’re so far away
Our phones taking in the voice in the air

Before she has the chance to formulate a reply, another voice mail comes in,

“Huh, the Sun disappears. Maybe it finally has some shame?”

Followed by Minjoo’s voice,

“The Sun is just covered by some clouds, please, even Yujin knows this—”

Closed solemnly by Chaewon’s voice,

“Now that the real Sun is on vacation or something, can I ask for a selca of my Sun from the other side?”

And the voice mail miraculously still gets to capture the sound of Minjoo faking a puke in the background, before cutting off completely, ending the message.

Hitomi covers her lips with her palms, concealing a fond smile mixed with a faint disbelief. A year ago, she wouldn’t have thought that Chaewon would be this soft, this silly, this sweet.

Sometimes, moments like this still feel like a dream.

But I’ll never stop to dream of the moment
you will come and just stay

In she types a reply,

i’m sorry, unnie, the fake sun is busy eating a burger.

Then barely a minute later, a voice mail comes in.

The content?

It’s just a few seconds of Minjoo cackling.

Hitomi bites the inside of her cheek, refraining from suddenly bursting into a laugh, herself. Worried that if she does, the staff accompanying her will become extremely concerned or worse, start speculating bizarre things. Only getting asked ‘are you okay?’ is one thing, what if she got booked for a mental check up appointment in the hospital instead?

Even though right now you’re not by my side,
It’s still the same sky we hold within sight

“Hitomi, I’m going to jump.”

“Hmmm Minjoo just got a selca from Yujin hmmmmmmm I suddenly feel so single by comparison…”

“Hii-channnnnnnnnnnnn.”

The onslaught of voice mails is recorded in a voice almost a whisper, with the sound of people talking in English a constant hum in the background. Hitomi plays every message at least five times, and if you asked, she’ll reason that she just wants to be sure she isn’t hearing any word wrong.

(Even though really, she just misses the owner of the voice so much.)

Hence why when her burger arrives, she activates the front camera of her phone. Discreetly making a pose for the requested selca, because honestly—since when can Hitomi deny Chaewon anything?

We will be alright, cause you’re
So close to my heart

The selca she’s sent doesn’t garner an immediate voice mail as a response. Instead, three minutes later, a photo is uploaded to their direct message as a reply. Captured in the photo is Chaewon, facing a wall, head leaning against the coarse surface painted in scarlet, fingers clutching at her chest.

Bemused at the sight, Hitomi opens her chat with Minjoo and types a message,

what happened to chaewon-unnie?

A reply, a few seconds after,

doctor’s diagnosis said that she’s currently breathless after looking at your selca.

Again, beneath the amusement that makes the corner of her lips curl up into a smile, there’s a heart fluttering with longing.

And love.

God, how she loves her so.

Time and all distance won’t really matter
You’re still in my heart, in there forever

The day has slowly started to crawl into evening when her phone vibrates again, without a pause, message after message filling up her inbox.

hitomi

hitomi

hitomi

hitomi, help me prevent the sun from setting

i don’t want you to sink and disappear from my sight

Ah.

Chaewon, with her metaphors.

Chaewon, with her earnest faith that Hitomi can rival the Sun.

Chaewon, who never stops believing that Hitomi is the centre of her universe.

Like the steady pulse in my wrist
that I will bring everywhere I go

With a stammer to her voice that she doesn’t usually have, Hitomi asks for a permission from the staff to go to the bathroom. She can barely refrain herself from sprinting the moment her request is granted, steps brisk until she successfully slips into one of the unoccupied cubicles, sliding the lock securely to make sure she’ll be uninterrupted.

And then her focus is completely on the bright screen of her phone.

On the messages Chaewon has sent, short and sweet and making her wish that she could walk the thousand steps needed to go to her, to hug her, even if life should order her to cross a sea as wide as the world before finally taking back the distance between them.

 With a slow dip of her thumb, she taps on the icon for voice recording,

“I’ve long sunk, Chaewon-unnie, into you. If you need me, try looking into the pool of your heart instead.”

Because she likes staying there. Wants to keep staying there.

Forever, if she could.

Even though right now you’re not by my side,
It’s still the same sky we hold within sight

In the end, she stays inside the cubicle longer than she’s planned, a chain of voice mails gliding under the sky of the US, delivering words and letters of the heart between a pair of souls separated in two different places.

“I think I’m terribly ill right now—I miss you so much breathing starts to hurt.”

“What a coincidence, me too. Don’t tell me it’s fate.”

“Minjoo almost exclaimed ‘lies’, but she thought better of it and just sighed.”

“Thank you, Minjoo, you’re so kind.”

“She said she’s tired of listening to me talking about you.”

“Good, then we’re even, my burger is also tired being ignored in favour of talking to you...”

“Where are you? Why do you sound like you’re inside a bathroom—"

We will be alright, cause you’re
so close to my heart

As if on cue, a message packed with concerned undertones comes into her inbox, from none other than the staff waiting for her outside. Asking if she’s okay, if something went wrong in the bathroom, why’s she taking so long—Hitomi takes a deep breath and executes a facepalm.

Good Heavens, she’s forgotten.

She quickly sends a short message to Chaewon,

ehe yeah i’m in the bathroom—and now the staff is panicking, so i have to go, unnie! please take care on your way home:)

On her way out, her phone vibrates. A voice mail. A short one, barely ten seconds long, and when she taps the notification—

“You take care, too! I love you, always.”

God, she wants to meet her faster.

END