You bumped onto some people but you didn’t care. You kept walking, and crying. You just knew something that really hurt you. You never expected this would happen. You never expected it. You just believed that what you saw and what you felt were real. You always thought that that guy really liked you. But, it was too good to be true. He never liked you. Well, he didn’t say it to you but you found it out by yourself. Minutes ago you came to his office. You were about to open the door as you heard he was talking with someone. You stopped and decided to go back to your desk, but you heard those two guys in the office talked about you, about you and that guy’s relationship exactly. You were frozen, and then without you knowing you were still in front of the door and heard everything.
That guy said that there was nothing between you and him although you two have spent many times together. And his friend said that it was impossible since you both looked so close at each other and then he said many other things. But that guy coldly said once again that there was nothing between you two, and he didn’t like you. You felt something just punched your heart. It hurt. Tears formed in your eyes and then you turned around and ran. His words really made you suffer in pain.
And, here you go. You still ran and ran without deciding any destinations. You let your legs took you whenever they wanted to. You kept crying even your eyes got puffy. You didn’t care. You just thought that crying would take the pain from you. You wiped away tears on your cheek as you remembered some memories with him. That guy was maybe the coldest guy on earth. He never smiled, never talked nice, so annoying, never respect others. But you didn’t get it why you liked him. Oh yeah, he just had one side that you admired of.
And you somehow didn’t understand that time when he asked you to a date. You were so surprised, but also happy. It was one thing you wanted the most. You then thought that maybe he had the same feeling as you. But now you knew the correct answer. He DIDN’T like you.
You cried harder as you remembered that fact. You forced your legs to run faster even they were trembling. You could fall to the ground anytime. And then you bumped again onto someone. You stopped, breathed in breathed out. Your vision was blurry because of the tears, and you didn’t know who’s standing in front of you. Is it an Ahjumma? Or an Ahjussi?
“Yah…” Seconds later you heard a guy’s voice. You wiped tears from your cheeks and blinked many times. That voice is so familiar, you thought. You were sure your face was so weird right now, but you tried to lift up your head. You rubbed your eyes and blinked. You couldn’t believe that Nam Woohyun was standing in front of you. He looked unhappy.
“Yah…” he said in a bored tone. You didn’t answer. You just looked down at your shoes and continued crying. You were so embarrassed to look at his face. Surprisingly, he wiped away your tears with two hands of his. You slowly looked up at him.
“I hate you crying in front of me.” He said, and then he held your hand and dragged you somewhere.



Nam Woohyun sighed as his flat’s door was opened. Your cold hand was still in his. You didn’t say anything since he found you and saw you were crying. Now you stopped crying, but you still did make him worried. He knew you needed time to make yourself calm. So he didn’t want to make anything worse. He took you to the living room. He then the television as you sat down on the sofa with blankly face. He gazed at you for a while before he headed to the kitchen. He must make something that made you forgot your problems.
Ah, actually Woohyun didn’t know your problem. He just guessed that you had problem with that guy. Could anything else make you look so desperate like this? That guy was an exception. Woohyun didn’t know him well, but from what you’ve told him about that guy, Woohyun never liked him. It was a pity that you liked that guy. Woohyun knew sooner or later that guy would hurt you. And he’s right.
Woohyun was busy making pasta’s sauce as he heard footsteps. He didn’t hear the door was opened. Woohyun thought that it was his cousin, but Sungyeol mustn’t be home at this time. He said he would be in his campus all day long and he would be home at least at 8 pm. This was 6. It mustn’t be Sungyeol, he thought. Woohyun turned around and saw you walked toward him.
“How are you feeling?” Woohyun turned around and was busy again with the sauce. He heard nothing but a sigh. He understood. This wasn’t easy for you. You didn’t answer him. As an exchange, you asked him.
“What are you doing?” you asked with as shaky voice.
“As you see, I’m cooking~” he sang.
“Why are you cooking?”
“Have you eaten yet? It’s dinner time though.” He said without looking at you. He just wanted to make you forget your problems, forget that bad guy. Woohyun sighed. He knew you couldn’t forget that guy. It made him got irritated. Oh, please, can you just forget him? Do you love him that much? Woohyun frowned. He wanted to give that guy a punch because he made you crying. He was too busy thinking about punching and the sauce was almost done.
“Do you often cook for girl like this?” you changed the topic. He turned and saw your blankly face. He let out a sigh. Maybe he must give that guy a punch soon.
“I never have someone to cook before, I never cook for girl.” He said. You’re the only girl I cook for.
You looked at him. “I never know you can cook.”
“But now you know it, right?” Woohyun smiled. He then poured the sauce to the pasta. He served the pasta on two plates. You two went to dining table. He sat across you. You looked at the pasta and looked a bit amazed.
“What?” Woohyun raised an eyebrow. You shook your head and stared at the plate for some seconds.
“No.” You replied. “It smells good.” You added, but no expression plastered on your face.
Even though you made no expression, Woohyun smiled. At least you talked to him. “You have to taste it. It tastes as great as a master chef’s made.” He said cockily and laughed. But he was the only one who’s laughing. You just shrugged and started to eat without saying anything. Woohyun’s smile was gone. Seemed that you lost your sense of humor. You didn’t smile or laugh just like you usually did. It made Woohyun worried. What should I do? Woohyun talked to himself. I couldn’t let her like this forever, right? I really hate it, I hate seeing her hurt like this.
He looked up to see you. You were eating slowly. Oh, he had to do something.


Woohyun was right. His dish was very great. You just ate slowly without praising him. You had no energy to talk much. Oh, you just didn’t want to talk. Crying made you lost your energy. You just thought again about that guy. All these feelings, why did they hurt you so much? You couldn’t throw away them even you really wanted to. You’ve thought that you were lucky to meet him, and then you just felt that you’re an unlucky girl. You shouldn’t have to meet a guy like him. But you then blamed yourself, even you knew he’s not a nice guy, you still liked him. Stupid, you cursed yourself.  You unconsciously made some noisy sounds with your fork.
“It’s not delicious? You don’t like it?” you heard a worried voice. You looked up and saw Woohyun staring at you. You just forgot his presence for a while. Oh, just see what you’ve done to your best friend. He looked so worried. You never saw him so worried like this before. It was quite strange. You opened your mouth to say something, but you heard nothing. You then cleared your throat.
“It’s..good.” you said weirdly. Woohyun raised an eyebrow.
“If it’s not good, I’ll cook another dish.” He said, taking your words wrong. You shook your head.
“No, it’s good. It’s delicious.” You added.
“Are you sure? You don’t seem to like it though.” Woohyun said, sounded annoyed, and then he sighed.
You stared at your plate. “I like it, Woohyun. I like it.”
“I will make another dish.” He stood up. You widened your eyes in surprise. You then followed him back to the kitchen. He was busy looking for some food and vegetables in the fridge as you reached him.
“Don’t need to do it.” You said to him. He stopped taking food, turned around and gazed at you. You saw no but sadness in his delicate eyes. You felt bad for your friend. He just wanted to help you, he always helped you. But what you were doing was just make difficulties for him. Yeah, you felt bad. You didn’t dare to stare him for more time and then you looked down at the floor. “The pasta is enough. Don’t cook other.” You said.
Woohyun crossed his arms in front of his chest. “I can make your favorite dish if you don’t like pasta.” He said stubbornly.
You looked up. “Why are you so stubborn? Why do you want to cook dishes for me?” you furrowed eyebrows.
“You need to eat.” He said simply, as if it explained everything. You just didn’t get it. Before you opened your mouth for asking, he spoke up. “I always think that eating can make people forget their problems, yeah, for a while.”
“That’s why you force me to eat? Because of that reason?” you widened your eyes.
“Yeah.” He replied in a bored tone.
Oh, he just wanted to help, you thought. You didn’t know how he knew you had problems. You didn’t tell him about the reason why you cried. He didn’t ask about it either. He seemed like knew what problem you had, and who made you cried. Woohyun always knew. He knew you very well. You tried to smile, but you knew it would look so weak and weird. “I’m okay, Woohyun. I can forget, yeah, my problems.”
“You lied.” He stated and smirked. “Do you think you can forget them that easily?”
Aish, this guy just knows too much about me, you thought. You bit your lower lip. “I will try.”
“Oh, good luck.” He was busy again looking for something in the fridge. You frowned. This guy was annoying, you thought. He was stubborn enough, you were sure that you couldn’t stop him. But you just thought that he didn’t need to do such things for you. It was your own problem, he shouldn’t fall in your misery.
“Stop it, Woohyun. I’ll eat the pasta properly.” You put your hand on his shoulder. He turned and stared at you for some seconds. He didn’t say anything, nor smile. It was annoying though. You put your hand down. “What?”
“Ah, nothing.” He sighed and continued observing the fridge. “Go, eat your pasta.” He said without looking at you.
You raised an eyebrow. “So, can you tell me what are you doing now? Are you going to cook another dish?”
“I am~” he sang. He held some small plastic boxes of sliced vegetables, and some meat. He put those boxes on the table and he continued picking up something. He picked up another box but you didn’t know what it was. You widened your eyes. He picked too much things.
“Don’t need to do that!” you shook his hand.
“Yah, what are you doing!?” he yelled at you. You ignored his protest and continued shaking his hand with all strength you had. And finally the box fell to the floor. You just thought that it was contained by vegetables, but actually it was a box of ice cream. And now the floor was dirtied by the ice cream. Oh my. You slowly looked up at Woohyun. Oh, he was glaring at you, and he looked mad.
“Yah, what did you just do?”
You were confused to answer him. “I-I’m sorry..” He still looked angry. O-oh. Your brain then gave signals to your legs to move and ran.
“YAH!” Woohyun ran after you. Yah legs, save me now! You ran around the kitchen as he tried to chase you. “Yah, come back here!” You who were scared quicken your running. But it was no use. He had longer legs than you and seconds later he got you. He wrapped his hands around your waist. You screamed.
“Got ya!” He laughed in satisfaction. “What did you do, huh? Escaping? Take this, little runaway!” He started to tickle you. You couldn’t help but burst out into laughter. You both laughed together. And you felt that this was the first time you could laugh after everything that have happened today.


You and Woohyun were sitting on the sofa. You two were talking and watching television. Woohyun has explained to you that the ice cream was his cousin’s. He just wanted to put the box to the freezer, seemed like his cousin forgot to take it in there. And you got it wrong. You thought that the box was full of vegetables, and he was very stubborn to cook something for you. But actually he wanted to make a soup with some vegetables in the boxes on the table. After you two cleaned up the ice cream on the floor, you two went to mini market to buy new ice cream for his cousin. Then you two ended up to buy some chips, candies, and chocolates. You didn’t forget to buy your favorite ice cream.
You have finished eating your pasta and then you started eating chips. And you thought that Woohyun was right. Eating could make you forget your problems. Eating could make you feel better. Now you were in a good mood. You were just back to be a girl who you used to be. You laughed and smiled, and you’re always cheerful. Seemed like you never had problems in this world.
Woohyun didn’t ask you yet about what made you cry. But you knew that sooner or later he would ask. And you’re right. When you two finished with the chips and started to eat chocolate, he asked you. You weren’t surprised, you just knew that he would ask about it.
“I hope my question won’t ruin your good mood.” He said at that time, while chewing the chocolate. He asked you very carefully, he was afraid that you got hurt again. But you were okay now. You tried your best not to look sad, because you’ve said to yourself that you would never cry over that guy again. Yes, you told Woohyun what your problem and who made you cry. Your answer was all he has guessed, he said to you. You just shrugged.
“Tired?”
“Huh?”
“Are you tired? Tired loving him?”
“Uh…”
“You even can’t say ‘yes’, but I think it’s a ‘yes’.”
“So what if I’m tired?”
“Get some rest then, and… try to love someone else.”
“Someone else? Who?”
“Me.”
You just thought that Woohyun was trying to make something funny, you then laughed. At first he looked so serious and looked a bit surprised to see your respond, but then he smiled. In your laughter, you still can hear what he said next.
“The sight of you laughing makes my heart satisfied.”


O-oh, you must be thinking that he was joking around. Actually he’s not. He just tried to tell you the truth that he wanted you to forget that guy, and then tried to love him. What makes it sound funny? Maybe you never thought about it. He was bit disappointed that he would never get that chance, a chance loved by you. He knew you just thought of him as a best friend. He would never have the word more than ‘best friend’. He wasn’t happy about that fact. He really wanted you to see him as a man, not as a friend or a brother. And he really wanted you to love him as you did to that cold guy. But he didn’t mind, as long as he still could see you laughing like this.
“The sight of you laughing makes my heart satisfied.” He didn’t realize that he said those words. You raised an eyebrow even you were still laughing. O-oh, you really thought that he’s joking around. He forced a smile, he hoped it wouldn’t look weird in your eyes. You two then talked about many random things and forgot the topic about that guy. He’s always glad to talk with you, because you’re very friendly and nice. Maybe that’s why he fell for you.
“Ah, what’s this?” you walked toward a book shelf near the television. You took a book which was on the top of the shelf and it was opened. Woohyun kept his eyes on you. After he recognized what’s in your hand, he then answered.
“Oh, it’s a sketch.”
“Ah, you drew this?” you sat back on the sofa as you still looked at the sketch in the book. You looked amazed. He glanced at the sketch and then smiled.
“Of course. What do you think?”
“It’s amazing, you know!” you replied and giggled.
“This is my dream house.” He said. “I’m going to build a house near a beach, with a large balcony.” He pointed at the balcony in the sketch. You nodded in response.
“I know you’re in Architecture department, Woohyun, but this is the first time I see your sketch.” You commented and smiled. “It’s great! You know, I always want to have a house near a beach. So I can come to the beach whenever I want, playing with the sand, playing with the waves, playing kites, waiting the sun to set.” You giggled.
He was so happy you liked his sketch. “Do you like house with a large balcony?” he asked.
“Of course! I will come to the balcony every morning and evening to see sunrise and sunset. It will be great.” You said and pointed at the balcony in the sketch. Woohyun smiled brightly, and you looked a bit confused. Then you said. “You know I like sunrise and sunset, right?”
He nodded. “I know. I like them, too.”
You two talked about Architecture and then slowly you fell asleep. He gazed at your sleeping figure. You smiled and laughed with him in these past 2 hours, but it didn’t make your puffy eyes gone. You must be very sad and cried for hours before. Aish, that guy, why must he make you like this?
Woohyun leaned in to see your face closer. His face was an inch away from yours. He could smell strawberries, your scent. He curled strand of your hair and then put them behind your ear. Every time he saw you, saw you smiling, laughing, he always felt butterflies in his stomach. He always felt happy if he met you. You were the reason why he went through days happily. Yes, only you. His only love for you was never changing, even you never loved him back. You must be happy, you deserved it. And he wouldn’t let that guy hurt you again. Never. Some thoughts then popped in his mind.



After you knew the truth, you never treated that guy well. You still came to office as usual, but whenever you saw him, you always ignored him. Well, it didn’t have effects on that guy, he didn’t even care. He barely sent texts to you, and now he never texted you anymore. It had been a week. You still had feelings for that guy. Yes, it wasn’t easy to forget someone you loved.  It was being more difficult for you, coz you saw him everyday. You knew it’s hard, but you never gave up. You kept trying to forget him.
These days, when he headed to his office, you caught him glancing at your desk. Does he realize that you’ve changed? You guessed he didn’t. So what if he realizes? You didn’t care at all. You wouldn’t care anymore. All his actions just made you more realized that he really didn’t like you.
Ah, stop thinking about it, you said to yourself. Many things I have to think. You nodded as you checked your schedule at your note book. Your shift today would be end in 30 minutes and you had a class after lunch. You looked down at your watch and then realized it was almost 12 pm. Gosh, you haven’t eaten breakfast yet and this was lunch time. Oh, you should eat before you felt dizzy and faint. You looked around. This room looked so empty, maybe because all people were in the studio. Time passed and your shift was ended. You collected your stuff as some people headed out from the studio and gave greetings to you. You smiled to them and had some talk before your eyes caught that guy. Your smiles were gone. That guy also headed out from the studio with some books in his hand. He walked toward his room that was near your desk. You found him glancing at your desk, glancing at you, but no expression on his face. You pretended busy with your stuff.
After glancing at your desk, he stopped for some seconds and then he walked toward you. You didn’t greet him as you usually did. You just pretended that you didn’t see him. You didn’t want to look up at his face. You didn’t want to see him. You didn’t want to be hurt again. You just wanted to forget everything, so he mustn’t appear in front of you. But it was just your little wish. He was standing in front of your desk, looking at you. After a minute silence, he spoke up.
“You’re ignoring me.”
He realizes it? You thought. You sighed heavily. “I am.” You said without looking at him.
“You know right I’m standing in front of you, but why don’t you look up?” you found him talked much, and he sounded annoyed.
“No need.” You didn’t look up but you knew that he’s furrowing eyebrows in confusion. Ah, whatever. You didn’t care anymore. Minutes passed and you thought that he’s gone, but actually he was still there. He then grabbed your wrist. You instantly looked up at him. You could see his cold face. Your heart started to beat faster.
“We need to talk.”
“There’s nothing we need to talk about.” You tried to release your hand from his grip, but he’s strong enough. You frowned.
“We need to talk.” He said once again.
“No.”
At first he didn’t reply. He stared at you. “We need to talk.” He said. He tighten his grip on your hand and dragged you out the office.



Woohyun thought it’s good to come to your office and asked you to have lunch together. His lecture was ended ten minutes ago and he decided to go to your office. He knew that you worked since morning and finished before lunch time. You had a lecture after lunch, he knew it. So he still had time to have lunch with you. Besides, he never felt calm when he thought you would meet that guy anytime. That guy might be making you crying again. Woohyun didn’t want that happen, so it would be good if he checked up on you.
When he was about to reach your office and humming some random songs, he saw you were dragged by that guy. You looked trying to release his grip on your hand but he held your hand ever tightly. O-oh, what’s just that guy doing? Woohyun walked toward you both quickly as he shouted angrily.
“Let go of her hand, Kim Sunggyu!!”

-to be continued

February, 16th 2012.