The sky is still dark and the rain keeps on pouring as Lisa watches every drops clogging her view from the window. It has been three hours but she's still stuck in the traffic feeling nauseated from the long drive. Even though the mini-concert she’s attending is at 7 p.m and it's still past three in the afternoon Lisa couldn't seem to settle on her seat. It is way beyond the time she allotted for her travel, she didn't anticipate the rain that causes the heavy traffic on the road. All she could do was sigh and relax knowing the situation is beyond her control. The last thing she wants to feel is stress, she doesn't want to ruin this day that's she has been waiting for weeks.

 

Lisa can't believe it took her almost five hours to get to her hotel room. It is almost six in the afternoon and the venue’s gate will open at seven. Her initial plan was too check-in at two and sleep off the remaining hours before preparing for the concert, but not all things could always go as planned. Lisa sighs. She can still feel the tension from her bottom and shoulder from the drive. Lisa drops her duffel bag on the edge of the bed and goes out to the balcony to smoke, she immediately feels the release of her urge since she couldn’t smoke inside her car for the last five hours. For a moment Lisa feels more relaxed but she still needs to move and prepare for the night.

She settled herself first for a good twenty minutes before taking a shower and dress up with white semi cropped top shirt and black pants, she put on her white sneakers and checks the inside of her fanny pack to make sure her wallet and phones are there. Lisa keeps it simple tonight, she wants to be able to move easily since it’s a standing concert.

 

Lisa drink up her remaining coffee from its cup. She bought a grande cappuccino from the hotel's coffee shop when she arrived, she knew that she needed a lot of energy to last the night.

 

Though still feeling exhausted and sleepy Lisa feels the excitement. This is the first time Lisa will attend a concert, though not a major one but this is the very first artist that she badly wants to see live. Even just the thought of Jennie Kim can make Lisa squirm. It is Jennie's music that gets Lisa through her day, it is her lullaby at night and her endorphins in the morning. Lisa feels transcendental with Jennie's melody, her lyrics are poetic that crept underneath her skin.

 

It wasn't loved at first hear for Lisa, she knew about Jennie a year ago and she listened to her music, it wasn't the kind of music that Lisa usually listen to that time. She became aware of Jennie Kim but she wasn't a fan yet. Until after a year and Jennie released her first album Lisa gave it another try, still she didn't fall in love with it but it becomes a habit for her to listen to her music on her way home because it relaxes her until she could memorize the lyrics of all her songs and couldn't get it out of her system. That’s when she started researching about Jennie, there weren’t a lot of interviews about her but there are pretty useful and also, of course, Wikipedia even it is not reliable.

 

Jennie is originally from Korea(and that also makes her fluent in Korean) but her family moved to New Zealand when she was young and until now they lived there She’s playing the piano as long as she remembers it and she wrote her first song when she was eight years old about her first game console. When Jennie was in Junior High she was introduced to Jamie the president of YG HITS which at that time just a small-time music label, by a friend in school. That’s how Jennie’s career started. About her personal life, Jennie’s an only child and her parents are both in the medical field and divorced but she stayed with her father that was also had a big contribution on her taste in music.

 

That is all Lisa knows about Jennie all from music articles online and some fansites online but all these pieces of information about Jennie make Lisa feel a bit closer to her. Lisa never imagines herself being a girl fan at the age of twenty-three, she had liked some artists before when she was in high school and the university but she had never researched on them not feeling the eagerness seeing them live and more of fantasizing them at night.

 

Since then she promised that Lisa wouldn't miss a chance to see Jennie Kim if ever she goes to Thailand, never in a lifetime she would miss it. What more a chance to meet her? 

 

Lisa jumps out of her bed one morning after reading the email from the organizer that will bring Jennie in Bangkok. It was stated in the email that she is the lucky winner to have a meet and greet with Jennie. Lisa squealed at the top of her lungs. That sleepless night that she spent to make a collage of Jennie Kim for the contest was all worth it. She gave her one month worth of creativity for the poster not holding back just to surely win the contest.

 

While waiting on the line in the entrance, Lisa's playing it cool. The line isn't as long as she sees on television since Jennie is an indie artist and her music genre isn't too pop for the taste of the mass.

 

This is the very first time she will attend a concert and she's alone. Lisa doesn't mind that, she is at her best alone.

 

Her chest is throbbing from anticipation if she's just another fan that's only going to attend she'll be excited like the rest but since she is the chosen one to meet Jennie, Lisa couldn't put her head to it. She will be enjoying Jennie's performance like the rest of the people in the line but thinking she will be able to meet her up close makes Lisa wants to puke of nervousness and excitement.

 

The inside of the venue is spacious with food kiosk at the side and a beer station at the other end. She presents her stub to the bulky man at the station to claim one of her two free beers. Lisa needs it to calm her nerves. The show hasn't started yet but she can feel the people being hype already. There aren't many people yet, most are in the merch area and the vanity mirror with photos of Jennie Kim and another indie artist, taking photos. Since Lisa is alone she doesn't have anyone to accompany. People are roaming all around the venue, concert staffs are on the stage to arrange the instruments for the front act.

 

The lights turn gloom and the spotlights are on, people are cheering while the front act band starts to enter the stage.

She never heard about the band whose name is Santa's Elves. Lisa laughs inside with the name but her head is blown when their female bassist starts to strums some beats. Lisa finds herself nodding in the rhythm of their music later on. 

 

One advantage of being alone is she can squeeze in easily in the pool of people. From the back, Lisa can cramp herself to the front of the stage. The audience is singing along with the band while she tapping her feet and banging an invisible drum. The bands set has ended after playing eight songs. The people including Lisa cheer for them.

 

Next is Jennie Kim.

 

.

 

Lisa swears to herself, she's getting hyped.

 

The men in gray adjust the stage pulling it closer to the audience, everyone cheers. Lisa hears a group of guys yelling "I love you, Jennie Kim!" at the back, people's cheer becomes louder and everyone's phone is in the air getting ready for Jennie's entrance.

 

The guitarist is the first to walk on the stage, the screams and cheers are louder than before. The bassist and drummer are next to walk on their spot. Finally, it is Jennie Kim's entrance. The stage spotlights turn on.

 

"Hello!" Jennie's short greet to the audience. Lisa puts her arms up waving at Jennie and she notices her, giving her signature gummy smile. For a moment Lisa is struck on her place. 

 

Jennie starts to play her keyboard, her every movement is like a slow-motion for Lisa, the crowd’s noises are like only a hum for Lisa. Everyone is singing along with every of Jennie's song including Lisa. This is the night of her life, she still can’t believe that she gets to see Jennie Kim performing live in person, she badly wants to stop the tears in her eyes. 

 

When Jennie's entire set is over, Lisa approaches Lou one of the staff of the event for the meet and greet. Lou accompanies her to the backstage to wait for Jennie. Lisa is gripping to her white bag containing Jennie Kim's merch, the album and a shirt that she ordered online, Lisa event brought her manual camera for Jennie to sign.

 

"Jennie is ready to meet you now." Lou said with a sweet smile. Lisa's body tenses up, her breathing becomes irregular. She couldn't bring her foot to step forward. "Let's go." Lou walks her to the VIP Room Just beside Jennie's Lounge room.  

There she immediately sees the cat-eyed beauty standing waiting for her. Jennie Kim is waiting for her, she changed her top a plain black shirt tucked in her denim skinny jeans. Lisa feels a bucket of ice water poured onto her.

 

"Hi!" Jennie waves her hand to her.

"Hi, I'm Lisa. I'm a big fan." Lisa said meeting the Jennie's gazed.

"Thank you for being here tonight, Lisa. It means a lot to us." 

"There's no way I'm gonna ing miss this, you being here was always in my prayers every goddamn night." Jennie laughed at her.

Lou gestures the merch Lisa is holding, telling she can have it sign now.

Lisa put out her merch individually after one is signed.

"You're so beautiful, Jennie. I know you're already aware of that but I just really need to say it." Another laugh comes from Jennie.

"Thank you, it's a compliment when it comes from another beautiful lady." Lisa is struck again when Jennie winces at her. Lisa wants to scream to take out all her emotions, her knees are getting wobbly.

"I told myself that I'm going to marry you, someday." Lisa gives out a chuckle to what she says. It came out of nowhere, but she indeed promised to herself that she will someday marry Jennie, though it's an empty promise because Lisa knows, in reality, it wouldn't happen but still she lets herself indulge in her delusion. 

 

It's known that Jennie is openly gay. One thing that Lisa admires about Jennie is being vocal about her uality and confidently flaunting it but at the same time, she doesn't want to use it to gain popularity.

 

"Really? that's not impossible. We'll never know." Jennie replies with a naughty grin. Lisa takes a hint that somehow Jennie is being flirty but she shrugged off the thought thinking it's just Jennie's way of greeting her fans. No matter how Lisa wants to reciprocate Jennie's flirtiness she doesn't want to appear as a crazy hormonal fan. She isn't a teenager anymore to act that way. She's a lady, Lisa reminds herself.

 

A lady that desiring Jennie Kim.

 

"Maybe you want to stay a couple of hours for the after-party?" Jennie tells Lisa. "I'm inviting you." Jennie continues.

Lisa doesn't say a word, confused if she heard Jennie right.

"You want me to stay?" Jennie bit her lower lip and nods.

 

Since it was Jennie Kim who invited her the organizer lets Lisa enters the band's lounge.

 

Everyone greets her hello. 

 

Their Korean bassist says something to Jennie in Korean that makes Jennie slaps his arm, then they throw a laugh. Lisa didn't understand them. She only knows a few Korean words, and by few she means, Annyeonghaseyo and Kamsahamnida.

 

Jennie introduces Lisa to her band who are all kiwi except for the bassist who is a Korean that also grew up in New Zealand. With every person Jennie introduces Lisa she noticed they will give Jennie a smirk after. Lisa, on the other hand, is just going with the flow showing her best smile. Everything happened so fast that she couldn’t tell if it is still the reality. Earlier she was stuck in traffic and now rubbing elbows with Jennie Kim’s band and Jennie not leaving her side. 

 

The lounge is pouring of alcohol. Lisa is not much of a drinker and Jennie notices it.

 

"I have a low tolerance for alcohol," Lisa says to Jennie now few inches from her. Lisa feels at ease now compared earlier because of alcohol. "Is that so? Do you want to go out for a few minutes? I want to smoke, do you smoke?" Jennie asks.

 

Lisa nods.

 

Jennie grabs Lisa's hand to pull her out of the place. Lisa hears someone whistle and says something and Korean, she doesn't mind it.

 

They both go to the exit going to the back of the venue. Lisa put out her cigarette from her fanny pack.

 

She feels intoxicated but playing it cool. Gradually everything is turning like a foggy dream for Lisa.

 

“Are you here from Bangkok?” Jennie asks Lisa blowing a smoke. The latter shakes her head. 

“Nope. I’m from Buri Ram.” 

“Is that near here?” Lisa again shakes her head.

“It took me four hours to get here, but it’s because of the ing traffic.” Jennie chuckles.

“You have a pouty mouth, it’s funny how it suits someone as beautiful as you. It adds up to your character.”

Lisa gives off a laugh. “Thanks for the compliment.”

“Anyway, isn’t it too late for you to go home at this hour? Or you drive?” Jennie asks.

“I drive but I booked a hotel room nearby. I don’t wanna fall asleep on the road. I came prepared for tonight.” She winces at Jennie.

“It seems so. I was about to offer you my room to stay the night but I think you’ll be fine.” Jennie bit her lower lip. Lisa gulps at the sight and nods.

“That’s very kind of you but I’m fine,” Lisa says. Jennie takes a step closer to Lisa, she leans closer to whisper in her ear.

“Still, the invitation is open if you want to,” Jennie said. 

Lisa’s body heat turns up confused if it’s because of the alcohol. She jerks when she feels Jennie’s hand on her waist gently caressing it. Lisa’s breathing once again turns into an irregular pattern.

“I might consider it.” 

“I’m afraid to say it but the offer is only for a limited time. I need your answer now.” Jennie whispers again to her ear before lightly capturing Lisa’s lobe with her lips. Lisa gives off a low moan, she feels a tingle down her spine. Jennie caresses her back and now the back of her ear. Lisa desires for this, thinking about it every night.

 

She can’t remember how they got to Jennie’s hotel room, Lisa is all drunk to Jennie’s touch and kisses. The two women spend the night at Jennie's hotel room filling it with moans and pleasures. Jennie’s touches on her body are like drugs, she couldn’t get enough. It was like a dream come true for Lisa, Jennie is her dream come true.

 

The morning after, only two hours when their passionate lovemaking ended. Lisa picks up every piece of her clothing. It’s still six in the morning and even though without much sleep she wakes up since it’s her body says so. It’s a norm for her to be awake early in the norming.

 

Jennie is fast asleep under the sheet, her hair is sprawled, and evidence of a hot passionate night. Lisa womanhood is still sensitive and sore. She silently put on her clothes, when she makes sure all her belongings are with her she sneaks out of the hotel room. The moment she closes the door Lisa rapidly walks towards the elevator. It is just now that the happenings the last night are sinking into her. She repeatedly curses herself in her head but not out of regret, giving herself to Jennie is for Lisa the best careless decision she made.

She repeatedly repeats her promise to herself that she will someday be going to marry Jennie Kim. She chuckles to herself. it. Doesn’t matter if they will be married someday, that still, Lisa believes as impossible even after what happened.

 

ing and marriage are two different things. If she can’t marry Jennie Kim at least she has been ed by her. Lisa rephrases it in her mind, At least she had made love with her. 

 

That’s better.

 

Life goes on for Lisa, the Monday after the eventful concert she’s back at work like a normal. Same routine and same job and same traffic every day but she knows she has changed. She’s now a woman. Lisa can’t stop herself from smiling every time the thought passes her mind. It was cliche that had to sneak out of the hotel room after a one night stand but what else could Lisa do? She isn’t all proud of what happened even though she doesn’t have any regrets it is still not a fine woman’s doing. What she did is something should be kept hidden, that she is certainly will remain hidden for the lifetime. Jennie Kim for sure has her share of women, it might be her habit bedding one of her fans in every place she toured to. Lisa doesn’t want to think that way but she doesn’t want to be labeled that way. She knows that is better than getting her hopes high of getting married to Jennie. Yes, she made that promised but it’s a fan girl’s imagination sprawling. Lisa even not so proud of what happened still in bliss. That’s every fangirl dream.

 

Weeks passed and all seems normal. There were many nights that keep Lisa awake at night reminiscing her night with Jennie. Replaying the scenes over and over again like a movie in her head and she still feels the same. But what truly keeps her awake is thinking what it might have been if she didn’t sneak out the day after? If she lays there with Jennie and waits for Jennie to wake up. Many scenarios ran through her head but it all ended up being a one-night thing with the two of them. With those nights before letting herself drift into sleep, she keeps in reminding herself that she did the right thing.

 

“Bastard! How did you even get a driver’s license?” Lisa swears inside her car, she turned up the volume of her speaker. It is already six at night and she left their office at four. Sometimes Lisa wonders how she was able to go through the nightmare traffic in Bangkok every day going to work and back at home. She’s now considering renting space near her workplace. 

Someone outside might think Lisa is having a party for one inside her car with loud music. Lisa is singing along with it with occasional swearing when another car cuts her off.

“ you, we all want to go home,” Lisa swears.

An electronic rhythm plays on her speaker, Lisa’s automatically shifted to being more relaxed. Her playlist in shuffle mode and Lisa keeps it that way whenever she’s driving to surprise herself for every next song to play. For the entire time, she drove she noticed that all the songs had been playing earlier were intense and headbanging. She thinks it might affect her outraged. The song abruptly stops and plays once again, she has a notification on her phone. The light is in red so Lisa buys her time to checks her phone. Her forehead creases seeing the email from YG Hits, Jennie’s music label. The traffic light turns green not permitting Lisa to open and read the email.

 

Lisa almost forgot about the email when she got home she got too occupied on how the universe got on her side and just made the road clear and traffic lights always on green. She lies on her bed after a warm bath, her phone hovering on top of her face.

 

YG Hits!

Email Subject: Tour invitation.

 

Ms. Manoban,

 

We are honored to invite you to a two day meet and greet with Jennie Kim on Sept 23-24 for her Korea concert. Flight and hotel accommodation will be covered.

 

Please reply to this email if you would be able to make it.

 

-YG hits!

 

“What the ?” Her phone almost hit her face. “What the hell?” Lisa rereads the email to make sure she got it right. She got invited for a meet and greet with Jennie Kim again and this time in South Korea for her mini-concert. She tries to remember if she ever joined a contest for that, but there was none. For two months Lisa lived her life as it is, she still follows Jennie’s social media but she didn’t do any further stalking or joined any contest. Lisa paces back and forth her room thinking something to reply to the email and at the same time thinking how to file a short notice leave of absence. The event is a week from now and it does mean she has to file for leave first thing in the morning tomorrow if ever she accepts the proposal.

 

Lisa starts to tap on her phone, she couldn’t answer right away if she would be able to make it. First, she doesn’t know if her boss will accept her leave of absence and second, Lisa doesn’t know if she’ll be able to face Jennie Kim again after that night. As if Jennie cares, right? She thought, but she does care. Does Jennie know about this? Lisa feels her head exploding with so many questions. In the end, she thinks Jennie doesn’t care so why does she?

 

Hello!

 

This is a very generous offer, but I am still not sure if I’d be able to make it due to short notice.

 

May I just ask how I have been picked for this meet and greet?

 

-Lisa

 

Sent.

 

She keeps plain and simple.

 

The atmosphere in Korea is very different from Thailand, Lisa automatically feels the difference in the weather from the moment she stepped out of the plane. She puts on her denim jacket and passes through the guards at the exit. She retrieved her phone in her pocket when she is all settled in her hotel room. Lisa messages her boss that she arrived safely in Korea and now in her hotel room. 

 

The reason of her stay in Korea is not because of Jennie Kim. Lisa decided to decline the invitation the day after. It may be impulsive but she decided that things are different now, she remains as a fan of Jennie Kim but the fact that Lisa gave herself to her makes it difficult for Lisa to think she has to see Jennie again. As she sent her email declining the offer with the reason that she couldn’t take a leave of absence, her boss appointed her to be their company’s representative for the annual Film exhibit in Seoul. Every year their production company receives an invitation for different film event all around the world, usually, it's her Boss the Ceo or the manager attend those events for publicity but this time as the newly appointed supervisor of the animation department, Lisa was given a chance to attend one of the events. The First Seoul in international animated film exhibit is not as big as the other film event the bosses got invited to but since they are venturing on animation films they need to send someone to attend. And she is that person. Lisa was glad to be sent for the exhibit, it will be the first time for her to be out of the country for business. She didn’t know being a supervisor will give you such a benefit. Funny it is also the same date as Jennie’s concert, Lisa thinks that it was a good decision to decline the invite after all.

 

The night after the first day of the exhibit which Lisa greatly enjoyed as all the animation film presented was beyond fantastic. Tomorrow will be her last day in Korea and the second day of the exhibit. She’s excited for the new batch of short films to be shown. As the night is still young and Lisa is no way going to sleep early she goes to the hotel's restaurant-bar at the rooftop to unwind. The city view from the fiftieth floor is riveting a sight to die for. Lisa stays for another half an hour with a bottle of beer on her table just glancing the city view. Lisa set to her feet about to leave the place, when she turns to head to exit she immediately turns her back. Jennie Kim and her band are entering the bar. She hopes she didn’t see her.

 

Lisa almost forgot that Jennie had a show tonight and the venue is just around the area. She wants to laugh off the situation on how the events are like playing with her. After declining the meet and greet offer she was still sent to Korea and as much as she avoids it she’s in the same place again with Jennie Kim.

Lisa composes herself, convincing herself that she doesn’t have to act stupid, it shouldn’t be her concern if Jennie Kim will see her tonight. She will just ignore her and get out of the place immediately. After a minute of self battling, Lisa turns around again more determined to walk out of the place as quickly as possible, but as she turns Lisa sees a set of eyes fixated at her direction. She freezes on her feet as if Jennie Kim cast a spell on her. They are looking at each other's eyes, no one bothers to break the contact. Everything is playing on slow-motion again for Lisa as Jennie is paving her way to her. The next thing Lisa knows is Jennie standing a few inches from her.

 

“It’s you.” the sides of Jennie’s mouth lifted. Lisa reciprocates the gesture. “Hi.” She awkwardly waves her hand at her. No one’s talking, their eye contact hasn’t broken yet.

“Do you want to sit down?” Jennie offers.

“No, I was about to go actually,” Lisa replies. Jennie’s expression changed that Lisa can’t tell to what she steps out.

“Don’t you want to stay a little while?” Jennie says that makes Lisa stopped. She turns to Jennie. She hasn’t replied yet.

No.

“Okay sure.” Lisa said.

 

Lisa returns sitting to the barstool, mentally cursing herself again for letting herself being pursued by Jennie.

 

“I didn’t expect to see you here.” Jennie says before calling the attention of the bartender at the other side of the bar.

Jennie offers her a drink that Lisa didn’t decline. Lisa seems can’t say no to Jennie.

 

“Yes, same.” Lisa makes a low chuckle. She is thinking if Jennie means by that is because she declined the invitation for her meet and greet but she Lisa shrugs the thought thinking Jennie probably didn’t know about that. As the email reply to her question was that she got picked by the management. They choose a winner out of all the meet greet contest where Jennie had toured to. Since her entry stood out from all the entries of all the fans.

 

“I was expecting you earlier in the show tonight but you declined the invitation, I just knew about that when the show was over and I met some other fan instead,” Jennie says. Lisa fixes her gaze the city view but she’s staring at their reflection in the mirror. Even without looking at Jennie, Lisa can see her facade from the reflection and somehow sees a bit of disappointment in her face.

 

“Ah yes, I decline because I wasn’t able to file a leave from work.” Lisa lied because she never tried to file a leave.

“But you’re here.” Jennie just says like implying that something.

“Business purposes.” Lisa now turns her head to Jennie.

“Oh.” 

“I was sent to attend an animation film exhibit. If you heard about the first Seoul Animation film Exhibit? Our company got invited and then they sent me to be the representative.” Lisa continues as if Jennie needs an explanation.

“So they didn’t accept your leave because you’ll also be in Korea by that time?” Jennie asks. Lisa picks up a different tone with the question but she just nods.

Jennie gulps her beer.

“So this job of yours, it does involve animations?” Jennie asks her again. “Sort of, we got to that. I’m working for a production company and we’re starting to venture in animation, I was one of the first visual effects artists for that.” Lisa explains.

“That’s cool, didn’t know not.” Jennie’s eyes widened in amusement. “Kind of cool, yeah.” Lisa chuckles.

“That explains the cool collage poster.” Jennie continues making Lisa chuckles.

 

The little while takes a little longer. Jennie throwing random questions about Lisa that she gladly answers forgetting her initial plan to getaway. Lisa offers to have a smoke at the veranda part of the rooftop designated as a smoking area. The side of the rooftop are blocked with wooden wall hung with vines and other ornaments for safety. It is an open space, technically.

 

“As you are saying, you endure hours of traffic because you don’t want to leave your cats?” Jennie asks.

“Yes, I need to see them every day.” Jennie laughs to Lisa’s answer. “But you can bring them to your apartment if ever, you will get to see them every day.” Jennie continues.

“But they will be alone all day, they’ll be lonely. At least at home, my Mom is there and sometimes my dad.” Jennie just nods.

“Don’t you have a pet that you miss? Forget it, you’re most of the time touring. You can't have a pet.” Lisa says.

Jennie puts her hand to her chest. “Ouch, that hurts. Does that mean people like me can’t have a pet?” 

Lisa suddenly gets conscious of what she had said. “No, I’m sorry if that sounded wrong. What I mean is, you’ll probably get one to begin with because it’s hard to leave them when you began to be attached to them.” Lisa says defensively wanting to take back what she said the first time.

“I do have two dogs at home. Kai and Kuma.” Jennie smiles at her. Lisa is shocked to know that. She has done her research about Jennie but she never mentioned in any of her interviews that she has a dog, two dogs.

“Where do you leave them when you’re on tour?” 

“At my dad’s,” Jennie answers before taking a puff of her cigarette.

“I’ll video call them most of the time before going to sleep on my tours.” Jennie continues, Lisa finds it cute and she can’t help but smile knowing a soft side of Jennie.

“It’s nice that we’re doing this,” Jennie says.

“Doing what?”

“Getting to know each other. We just you know did it like so fast.” Lisa knows what Jennie meant, it reminded her that night that she just jumps off Jennie’s bed skipping the talking part.

“Not that I mind it now, I’m planning to get to know you more but you were already gone when I woke up.” Lisa feels flash of guilt. She can’t defend herself, she is beyond guilty for escaping Jennie that day.

“Look, I might seem like ungrateful for doing that but you must believe me when I say that I’m not very proud of that moment... but I don’t regret it though.” Lisa pauses finding words to explain to Jennie well how she felt. The other girl remains silent.

“I wasn’t thinking clearly that time and I don’t know what gotten to my head to agree to do it. It was my first you know.” 

“Yes, you told me that,” Jennie says.

“Did I? I didn’t remember.” Jennie nods at her.

“You said you didn’t regret it but I’m sorry for bringing you to that situation.”

“No, Jennie. I am an adult and I am responsible for my actions. It is just that it was too much for me to take in when I woke up that morning.”

“Why do I feel like I had taken advantage of you?” Jennie looks at Lisa intently.

“No, Jennie. I agreed to it. I willingly did it. Please, don’t feel that way.” Lisa’s hands are trembling, she’s getting confused on how they got to this point. Lisa swears to herself again. The thing she regrets is agreeing to stay with Jennie, Lisa thought things are getting smooth with the two of them but this confrontation happened. Lisa is getting confused now, it was a one night stand. Just a one night stand and here they are talking about it like it means something. Jennie is like a magic spell to Lisa, she always just fell for her.

 

“Is that why you decline the invitation?” Lisa shakes her head.

“No, I told you Jennie. It becau-” 

“Just admit it Lisa.” Jennie tells Lisa. 

 

She gulps. Lisa wants to walk away, to get away with the situation but she feels she should not, she had walked away with Jennie before and she is not going to do again. 

“It was all my idea. The fan meeting here.” Lisa lifts her head looking at Jennie.

“I don’t know but I couldn’t get you out of my head. No matter what I do. I thought it will pass but weeks after I’m still thinking of you and the worst part is I cannot do something about it. So ask my manager about it and we made up a plan to contact you and get you here. Caroline asked for your email address from the organizer in Bangkok.”

Lisa’s mouth falls open. “ me.” She immediately covers by saying that loud. Jennie looks at her with questionably then laughs seeing her shocked.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean it like that. I’m just you know, I didn’t know-” She couldn’t finish her sentence, Lisa wants to slap her face to make sure she’s not dreaming, or hallucinating because of the alcohol. She couldn’t feel her body anymore.

“That pouty mouth. You don’t know how badly I want to kiss you right now.” Lisa still doesn’t say a word, she’s just looking at Jennie now looking at her with dreamy eyes.

“I’m ing sure that I’m dreaming.” Jennie laughs before grabbing Lisa’s hips pulling her closer to her.

“I’m ing sure you’re not.” She whispers to her ear.

“Didn’t you tell me that you promise to marry me?” Lisa pushes Jennie, she was taken off guard.

“I mean not now but first let’s start at the basics of getting to know each other and maybe someday you can fulfill that promise of yours.”

 

Lisa doesn’t need a word to speak she grabs Jennie by the neck and pulls her into a kiss. It is nerve-wracking and sweeter than the first time as Lisa can remember it. Jennie pulls her Lisa closer to her as their kiss is getting more passionate until Jennie pull out from the kiss lean her head to Lisa’s forehead.

 

“Do you want to meet Kai and Kuma tonight?” Lisa nods with a smile.

 

-end-