“We start, as we must, with our Somyeong.” Minah put her first photo up, a lovely headshot of the pretty girl in all her glory. Full lips, high cheekbones, large eyes. Somyeong truly was a sight to behold. 

“She was the center of her previous project group was she not?” Sungsoon asked. “Will she be center again?”

“She will not,” Minah said. It was a sad thing, such potential squandered. Three years ago Somyeong would have been the perfect center to her group, stunning and magnetic in her beauty presented with a layer of girlishness that would have set many Korean men’s hearts aflame (to put it politely).

“Who then?” Sungsoon asked, a tinge of sadness colouring her tone.

“Men are fickle,” Minah said. “As lavish as their gifts can be they are quick to turn their eyes on a newer model, they are an important part of our business model but they cannot be our sole focus, not anymore. If we want to make real money from the fans we have to ensnare girls instead and girls want someone relatable. They want someone to look up to, preferably someone within a similar age range. Somyeong, as she is now, simply won’t do anymore.”

"A pity," Sungsoon said.

"A pity indeed. Now who shall be center instead?”

Everywhere Somyeong looked she saw shadows. In front of this mirror she’d practiced for her very first evaluation. She'd cried when her voice had gone hoarse from overuse after which Sungkwan had forced her to chug 3 cups of honeyed tea because his eomma swore by the remedy. In that bathroom she had eaten the pizza Chaeyeon and Haeyeon had snuck in hidden in their bag which had stank up the whole floor of the company with pizza smell after which they were quickly caught and made to stand with their hands up for punishment. In that corner of the practice room they had sat, huddled around the screen of the only smartphone that would connect to the neighbouring cafe’s wifi, watching Axiz’ debut MV over and over again, laughing at how angsty and ridiculous it was while secretly overcome with jealousy.

Everywhere she looked were memories, the ghosts of the others lingered in the corner of her eye, like she could turn her head and there Yoko would be pouring over her Korean language book right next to Yeorin who was trying to memorize Japanese.  She could turn around and see Jia pacing up and down practicing  a motivational speech to give them. Like any moment Yura could tackle her from behind and pull her into the practice room, already halfway through some tall tale of something that had happened to her this morning that Somyeong had to hear about!

Now the practice room was empty. Her steps echoed on the slick floor, the room too big to contain the noise of only one pair of sneakers. She was the only one left.

She squared her shoulders, turned the music on, and took her place in front of the mirror. It was time to train.

~*~

Somyeong was exhausted from training by the time she stumbled out of the lift and keyed in the code of her second home.

The first thing that greeted her was the jazzy voice of Haeyeon’s new album blasting over the speakers, and another much less jazzy voice singing along very very loudly. “Hyuni?” She yelled, shrugging out of her coat and shoes. “Unnies?! Oh hi guys.” Somyeong bent over to let Ginseng (Haeyeon’s, toy poodle) and Arirang (Hyuni’s, fluffy big girl mutt) attack her face with their friendship.

The stunning and currently bright orange head of Kim Hyuni, face of Aleis, appeared at the very end of the hallway. “Somyeong!” that bright smile lit her face up and not for the first time Somyeong marveled at the beauty of it. Whoever had sculpted that face had done a marvellous job but it was the light in those eyes and the sincerity of that smile that really did it. “I didn’t know you were coming over or I would have made dinner!”

“It’s okay unnie,” Somyeong said a little too fast. She still remembered Hyuni’s last attempt at “cooking” and it had been 3 years ago.

Hyuni laughed. “You always try to be so polite but the disgust is written all over your face you rude child. Come in and we’ll order something later, I think Haeyeon is on her way from,” she checked her phone real quick. “Music Bank?"

Hyuni managed to give her a good squeeze of a hug while also balancing a sizeable wine glass in the other hand and managing not trip around two very excited dogs.  Somyeong clutchedher short and far too frail frame. Meanwhile Haeyeons voice over the speakers was building up to a perfect high crescendo. “Don’t you hear unnie’s voice enough on one day?”

“Have you heard that voice?!” Hyuni said, very affronted. “How could anyone ever get enough of it?? Besides, I have to stream this baby, the mortgage isn’t going to pay for itself.”

“Are you going to stream my music too when I debut?”

“Of course,” Hyuni took a sip from her wine. “I have multiple Naver accounts, who do you think got Axiz to their record #167?”

Somyeong tried to smile but something inside her just broke and tears started gushing out.

"Oh no, baby!" Hyuni set down her wine glass and enveloped Somyeong into a hug, rubbing her arms and her back and her head while tears stained her expensive blouse. "There there, it's okay sweetheart," Hyuni cooed. "Let it all out."

Half an hour later Somyeong was sitting on the expensive sofa, Ginseng curled next to her and Arirang's heavy head on her lap, glass of wine in her hands and eyes feeling raw and abused. "I'm so sorry," Somyeong said.

"If you ever apologize for having emotions again I'm changing the lock on my door," Hyuni said fiercely. "Haeyeon told me you're the last trainee left."

Somyeong nodded. "I'm never going to debut," she said miserably. "All these years and I'll never debut and it will all have been for nothing."

Hyuni grasped her free hand. "You listen to me, Kim Somyeong. You will debut. You will debut even if I have to burn down EM for it to happen. Look at yourself! You're beautiful, you're talented, you're charming." She gently reached out and tucked a stray lock of hair behind Somyeongs ear, wiping a tear in the process. "And you have the world's best unnies at your side. Stay strong, my love, I promise you you will get there, and the world will thank you for it."

Somyeong threw her arms around Hyuni, sending wine droplets flying. Hyuni squeezed her and leaned back. "How about we order some of that Iranian food you like?"

"Can I stay here for the night?" Somyeong asked. She couldn't bear to go back to the empty dorm, the only one left.

Hyuni smiled. "You can stay here for as long as you like."

“She’s not the prettiest,” Sungsoon commented. “Miho, JooA, and Somyeong are prettier than she is.”

“She’s not,” Minah agreed. “It’s a common misconception that the center should also be the visual. Perhaps if men are the only audience you wish to attract, but teenage girls tend to prefer someone not unattainably beautiful. Striking and charismatic to draw eyes to the center, yes, but not so pretty that she’s intimidating. Choi Harin is a girl with charisma, but she’s also a girl you might want to meet, want to hang out with. That’s the kind of girl that will draw that loyal female audience to our group.” She smiled as she regarded the photo, plastered dead center on the board. “If we play our cards right, they’ll do half the group promotion for us.

“Besides,” she continued. “Center in a kpop group is an artificial position anyway. While the girls establish themselves we’ll tell the fans who to pay attention to, but as soon as they can stand on their own individual feet the position becomes meaningless. Harin gets the push, she endears herself to the teenage girls, and then we’ll see who does and doesn’t catch on.”

Minah took a step back and sipped her wine. Somyeong and Harin looked interesting together, two very different looks in one go, she had to consider the concept of this group very carefully. Harin would be more suited for a teen crush concept but those bored Minah. Idols were there to be idolized, not to be whiny teens bragging about how ‘different and unique’ they were. No, it was time to play this idol game a little differently. In that photo Harin looked like an ordinary girl but Minah knew potential when she saw it. All she needed was a little glam and that smile would be swaying teens all over Korea.

“We have our center,” she announced with finality. “Now let’s get her face out there, shall we?”

Training was amazing.

In the morning she practiced a bit of dance before anyone else was around, marveling at how much better she’d gotten in the months since she’d been training. Loving the burn of her muscles and the beating of her heart and she ran through her playlist of songs and inched closer to perfecting their choreos.

Then she’d swing by the coffee shop around the corner and grab a latte just as it opened. She’d exchange some words with the barista and owner, ask after her family, assure her she was that much closer to debut after which she’d assure Harin she would buy her albums when she did.

On her way back she’d greet the staff coming in for the day, sometimes she’d bring an extra coffee for Jungwon the receptionist or Sungsoon the manager. She’d ask after Sungsoon’s weekend, then she’d grab the script she’d studied the day before from her locker and slide into the minivan to go to the shoot.

The shoot.

Harin still couldn’t believe there even was a shoot. Her! Choi Harin! Just some girl from Goyang, snapped up off the street and into what seemed to be a right fairy tale! 

She’d been the only trainee too, alongside Somyeong but Somyeong was hardly a trainee anymore with all of her acting gigs and years of experience under the belt and her frequent absences. Really she’d been training alone or alongside the boys most of the time for those first months. It had felt so special to Harin that they should put such faith into her, that they should choose her to be the first trainee to fill out the ranks of what must be a future girl group. 

She had felt almost a little disappointed when Miho and Jooa joined a few months later but of course a girl group couldn’t consist of just Harin and Somyeong. And besides, the company- no Minah herself had proven how much she saw in Harin when she had been chosen, weeks after being accepted into the company, to appear in the BTS highlight reel and hadn’t that been a trip and a half.  Her first public appearance was through a BTS video! She’d touched Jungkook’s hand.

And now here she is starring -starring!- in an actual webdrama! She was really getting a hang of this acting business and she absolutely loved it. The hours were long but the people were so wonderful and kind to her and how incredibly was it to be a part of a story? Like a main character! Girls were going to watch this and they were going to love her, Harin could just up and cry. There was something so magnetic about a set. Looking from one angle all one saw was a place, a school room or a girl’s bedroom. Turn around and it looked alien with the dark lenses of the cameras and a dozens of staff members making sure everything went absolutely perfectly. Harin would stare intently at her co-leads and act her little heart out, completely immersed in the world of A-Teen and then someone would yell cut and snap her back into reality. It was fantastic.

“Earth to Harin.” Co-star Kim Naeun, the other Hana, nudged her shoulder. “Cold Americano really doesn’t improve the flavour.”

Harin glanced at the rapidly cooling coffee she had in her hands and laughed, a little embarrassed. “Sorry I was spacing out there, what were you saying?”

“Only that I’m ever impressed how well a total newbie like you are holding up,” Naeun said, taking a sip of her own coffee. The other girl was an actual debuted idol, fancy that! Harin was constantly impressed by her air of glamour. Naeun was so absolutely beautiful she was entirely in a different class of people. Harin wondered if, when she debuted, she’d also gain such an air of confidence and being above it all.

“Thanks!” Harin tried not to glow in the compliment. Harin took a sip from the coffee and suppressed a cringe. She didn’t really like coffee, it was much too bitter, but everyone on set drank the americanos provided by the complimentary food trucks and so Harin tried putting as much sugar in as she could when nobody was looking. She set the coffee down on the little standing table and took a bite from the mini triangle sandwiches the organization provided, conscious of Naeun’s lack of food intake.

Naeun smiled. “You know, I was a little skeptical of you and Suhyeon, seeing as neither of you have worked in the industry before but really you almost wouldn’t be able to tell! Bon appetit, enjoy the sandwiches, I wish I could. I’ll see you in thirty when the shooting resumes.”

Now Harin really couldn’t suppress the glowing. She really belonged here! She grabbed her plate of sandwiches and coffee, cheerfully greeted the script manager who walked by, and headed over to her next conquest. Never let a head full of flattery go to waste, you had to use that overconfidence while you had it! Park Jaeheon, co-star and absolutely mystery to Harin, was sitting on one of the picnic benches quietly enjoying his lunch alone. 

Harin was about to ruin that.

She slid onto the opposite bench and smiled bright. Jaeheon smiled unhappily back at her. “Hi!” she said as cheerfully as she could manage. Honestly, Jaeheon was an actor also signed to DM Entertainment but Harin had had a better chance of becoming besties with Kim Hyuni of Aleis fame than she had with this guy. They took the same van to and from shoots for god’s sake and yet they’d never exchanged more than 3 words! Not for want of trying on Harin’s part she will have you know. “So, I know you’re from DM too but I hardly see the acting trainees around much. It’s so nice to finally do something together and really meet you! Have you done many shoots before?”

“Not that many,” he responds a little reluctantly (or a lot reluctantly? The optimistic part of Harin’s brain was filtering hard). “But yeah. Kind of.”

“Oh, fun,” Harin said, not entirely sure how to respond to that but very adamant at keeping the conversation going.  “This is the first drama I’ve been in and it’s so exciting! Do you have any tips for me?”

Jaeheon raised his eyebrows. “Isn’t it a little late for that?”

“I think it’s never too late for some good advice!” Her voice goes up a little too high on the last part and she clears awkwardly.

“I’m still new enough to this myself. I guess the nerves aren’t that bad once you get used to it, most of the time. I always get so caught up with the work and the instructions and just, you know, doing it that I get hit with the nerves after the fact. It’s weird.”

“Oh. That is weird, huh.” 

“You should talk to Naeun if you want more advice,” he says. “I’m gonna go get ready.”

He got up and tossed his empty coffee cup into a bin and Harin let out a breath she didn’t realise she’d been holding. One step closer to being best friends. She’d get there, before the shoots were over they were gonna be best friends forever!

Seriously, her life was utterly amazing. Honestly, she felt like her life was more a drama than the actual drama she was shooting. She didn’t know what she’d done to deserve all this but oh my god she was high on life and she couldn’t wait until she debuted as an idol to boot!! Choi Harin, actress and idol and role-model incoming!

“Our little Miho is a no-brainer.” Minah put the portrait on the board next to Somyeong’s. “I still don’t know what we did to deserve this gem, I must give Misun an extra CF or two just to thank her.”

Sungsoon nodded. “She will surely come in handy for the Japanese debut, right?”

Oh sweet simple Sungsoon, how exhausting she could be. “Yes, but we won’t be shipping off Mode to Japan like Axiz. Mode will be successful in Japan because they are successful in Korea. Miho will be useful there, but that’s not what she’s here for. She’s got a face that will sell in more than just Japan.”

“So she will be the visual then?”

“No,” Minah said. “Not unless I have to. She certainly would be if it weren’t for politics, but for safety’s sake I would prefer this group to have a Korean visual first and foremost. The lack of title shouldn’t stand in the way of her CFs anyhow.”

“She has a sweet personality too,” Sungsoon said. “I’m happy the… incident at the MC shoot of Violet isn’t working against her.”

“Yes, that was unfortunate.” Minah sipped her wine. She had asked too much of the girl too early. But she learned, and Miho had worked hard to improve. Not that she had had to, with a face like that, but Minah appreciated the effort. “Miho will charm all of East Asia if given the opportunity. Let’s give it to her.”

“Are you ready?” Misun smiled proudly and smoothed Miho’s hair behind her ear. “You look every bit the perfect trainee.”

“You think?” Miho felt her brain zooming with nerves and doubts. Part of her was still internally screaming about how fast all of this had gone, the other part saw herself standing on stage in the spotlight and couldn’t help but gasp.

Misun, beautiful stunning Misun, placed her hand on Miho’s cheek and smiled. “It’s going to be okay little cousin. Training is hard, especially at first, but it’ll be so worth it. Minah is crazy if she doesn’t debut you, isn’t this so much better than studying business strategies?”

Miho nodded. “Of course.” She couldn’t believe she’d only known Misun for 3 months, sometimes it felt like she had known her all her life. Misun, visual of superstar girl group Aleis. It was so weird to think this glamorous girl with her manicured hands, bleached blonde hair, and expansive gangnam apartment was somehow related to her sweet pudgy stepdad. Sometimes Miho looked at her and thought she was looking at someone from an entirely different universe.

Really though, she’d only been studying business because it was something steady, something that her stepdad still had connections with that could help her get a job. So, really, all she had done was exchange one sure-fire job for another, right? After all, Misun had assured her that there was no way she wouldn’t debut. The audition had been absolutely terrifying but she’d done it and now she was going to be a Korean idol! How crazy was that??

“Oh, there’s a Japanese guy in the other group at DM too,” Misun said, already in the kitchen. “You should talk to him, his name’s Han-something? I’m sure he can help you with any cultural differences. Now remember, chin up, shoulders high, and do not let them put you on a water diet or I will tell them exactly what I think-”

~*~

About an hour of public transport later and Miho was standing on the doorstep of DM Entertainment for only the third time in her entire life, gym-bag clutched in her hand and feeling way unprepared.

“Mihi!!!!” An excited yell came from behind. “You made it through the audition!!!”

Miho smiled. “Jooa!” The girl looked exactly as she had at the audition, blinding in a sequined hoodie and bright hot pink leggings, just as blinding as her smile. They’d been at the same audition together where Jooa’s chattering had calmed Miho’s nerves. “You made it too!”

Jooa grinned. “Of course I made it! I’m the leading lady, aren’t I?” She flipped her hair, grabbed Miho’s hand, and dragged them both inside. “We really are the only two who made it aren’t we? I guess they just had to see our brilliance.” She squeezed Miho’s hand conspiratorially. “Oh I can’t wait to see what we’re doing! Can you believe that we’re walking the same halls that Hyuni walks? I wonder if she trained in these rooms- oh wait no DM moved buildings like 5 years ago but still! Oh what do you think we’ll be learning first? Do you think they have original songs yet or is that too early? I really hope they teach me how to rap I want to become the next Jennie- Oh is that Jung Minah coming down the stairs- I want to be her when I grow up.”

“I thought you wanted to be Hyuni when you grow up?” Miho asked.

“I want to be both!” Jooa exclaimed. “Adoring fans, rocking body, entertainment empire… why choose?”

Minah smiled as she approached them, trailed by another a little nervous looking woman and a strict looking man. “Miho! Jooa! I’m so happy you could make it. Jooa, Sungsoon here will show you the training rooms and introduce you to the other trainees. Miho, please stay behind for a moment, there’s something I’d like to discuss.”

The man stepped forward and circled Miho like a predator. “She’ll have to lose some weight but she’ll do nicely for today, you were right she’s a beauty.”

Miho felt her face flush and awkwardly twisted the hem of her skirt, really wishing they’d stop talking like she wasn’t there but at least they thought she was pretty? Did she really have to lose weight? Sure she’d noticed her thighs had gotten a little wide but-

“Can she act, though?” the man asked. “Does she have any experience?”

“Well?” Miho looked up to see Minah actually addressing her now. “Have you ever acted before?”

“Eh… I was Juliet in the school play once?”

Minah nodded. “It will have to do.”

“We really can’t call Somyeong?” the man asked. 

Minah shook her head. “She has to prepare for her drama shoot next week. Besides, we want to introduce the world to our newest star, don’t we?”

“S-star?” Miho stammered.

Minah smiled. “Of course! How would you like to star in Axiz’ new music video?”

Miho opened and closed . “I- yes?”

“Perfect!” Minah said. “Hyunmin will drive you to the shop for hair and makeup right away.” Minah smoothly snatched Miho’s bag from her hand. “I’ll hang onto this for you. Good luck, Miho, make me proud.”

And so Miho found herself on the scene of a music video set in perfect makeup and clothes and a heart pounding a mile a minute. She could hardly recognize herself. It wasn’t that she was bad at makeup per se but like this was something else entirely. “Woah,” she sighed at the face staring back from the mirror. It was like the makeup artist had first erased her entire face and then carefully pencilled it back into the best form it could take, all the while doing it in such a way that it looked like she hardly wore any makeup at all. Witchcraft.

She felt, for the first time, that she might belong in this world. Japanese idols still looked like ordinary if beautiful people but Korean idols looked like straight-up goddesses to her. Maybe, just maybe she could also fit in just a little bit. And she even got to wear a comfy sweater!

Distant rumbles of voices and laughter brought her out of her thoughts. The door opened and a boy with very red hair peeked out. “Yo yo hello!!” he beamed before being pulled right back.

“You can’t just barge into a lady’s dressing room like that oh my god!” Another male voice rang out.

“Relax it’s fine she’s dressed.”

“I seriously can’t believe they made you leader.”

“Hyung, please, it’s been years now get over it and admit you love me already.”

Miho stared at the door, a little perplexed, until a whole set of boys filtered into the room. They were faces she had only ever seen on the screen of her laptop before, voices she’d hear every so often in her playlist.

“Hi, we’re-” the face she vaguely knew to be Sungkwan’s said before being silenced by the elbow she vaguely knew to be Injae’s.

“1 2 3,” the idol she vaguely knew to be Namtaek counted down before all the boys she vaguely knew to be Axiz said, in perfect uncanny kpop unity: “We’ll be your center. Hello we are Axiz!”

Miho just blinked, completely speechless, while one by one the boys introduced themselves. Leader Namtaek with the vibrant red hair, oldest Injae, mischievous impatient Sungkwan, beautiful visual Sukim, Japanese Hanzo, eeeh really she didn’t know a lot about Kwangho but that guy, and maknae Yunseong. She wasn’t their biggest fan or anything but she had a song or two in her playlist and wow she hadn’t know they’d be so loud.

“So you’re the new girl?” Namtaek asked a little too nonchalantly.

“Oh- yes- hi- I’m Miho,’ she stammered.

“Welcome to the company,” Sukim said with a sweet smile. “I hope your training is going well.”

“Oh, eh, I haven’t really done any training yet,” Miho said. “They kind of, eh, whisked me away to this set first thing.”

“I thought Somyeong was supposed to act today,” Sungkwan said.

“They must really see something in you then!” Yunseong chimed in, ignoring Sungkwan.

“Are you an actress then?” Injae asked.

“Do you like the song?” Sukwang asked. “Namtaek made it.”

“They’re hoping I’ll make them as rich as I made Wanna One,” he said.

“You still have to pay me back for those headphones,” Injae said. “When am I gonna see that, royalty boy?”

“So you’re the new girl?” Namtaek asked.

“You already just asked that you absolute piece of-”

Miho glanced from boy to boy, unsure where to begin. “Hanzo you’re Japanese right?” she ended up blurting out, in Japanese, before wishing her tongue would turn to ash in .

“Oh, you’re Japanese too?” he asked. She’d heard his raps, she should have known, but she was still caught off guard by how deep his voice was. “How, eh, are you doing? Are you adjusting okay?”

“Oh yes I’m fine, thank you,” Miho said. “My stepdad is Korean so I can speak quite well. All of the honorifics are a little difficult but I’m managing.”

Hanzo smiled a little shyly. “I’m very glad. I hope you can debut.”

Oh no he was cute.  And very handsome, even more so than on tv. Even Japanese kpop idols were ridiculously beautiful! Miho felt her cheeks flush. “Me too!” she said in what was probably the voice of a chipmunk.

“Miho!” the brusque manager from before, Hyunmin, knocked on the door. “It’s time to start filming.

“Oh! That’s me!” Miho said, extremely unnecessarily. “Itwasreallynicetomeetyoubye.” She shut the door behind her and let out a breath.

Hyunmin smiled the very faintest amount. “Mood,” he said.

“What?”

“Good, I said,” he said. “This way.”

~*~

“CUT!”

Her heart was pounding when she escaped the set for her costume change. She was doing an absolutely horrible job. She just knew it, she could see it in the eyes of the staff, and this hadn’t even been the hard part! She’d just had to look forlorn and lovestruck and even that was so so hard. Why had Minah thought she could do this??

And that wasn’t even the worst of it, the worst was yet to come. You see, she’d just found out that she was going to have a crying scene. She couldn’t cry on command! Well she felt kind of like crying now but that wasn’t the point!

Miho paced back and forth in the roo. How was she going to do this? They’d never let her debut after everyone was finished laughing at how bad of an actress she was.

No. No. It was fine, she was going to do this! She was going to do her best and she was just going to try and it was going to have to be enough. She could do this, if she could just do an adequate job then that was good. She wanted to be an idol, right? That meant she had to be able to meet a challenge! She was going to have to show that she really wanted this and that she could do this and she could! She was Miho after all!

“You can do it!” she whispered to herself, pumping a fist into the air. “You. Can. Do. It.”

She was going to do it right now! She stepped in front of the door, reached for the knob-

The knob turned all on its own-

There was a crash. There was an explosion of pain in her nose. There was black and then there were stars. There was a scream she didn’t know was hers or someone else’s. 

She was on the floor -she hadn’t noticed falling?- and wet hot blood gushed from a crater of pain in the middle of her face. She could vaguely see a face in front of her but the tears obstructed her vision. 

“Oh my god oh my god oh my god oh my god-” the blurry face of Kwangho said over and over and over again.

Miho just cried, tears mixing with the blood and probably snot. Oh god there was probably so much snot.

“I’m so sorry I’m so sorry,” was the new chant.  She felt something press to her nose and a new flare of pain erupted. 

“AH!”

“I’M SO SORRY I’M SO SORRY” The dabbing lightened. “SOMEONE HELP.”

Of course this is how her very first day at work would go. Stupid clumsy Miho.  The tears were still streaming from her face while she felt laughter bubble up from . She couldn’t help herself, it was just so absurd!

Kwangho looked alarmed and backed up. “I’m- eh- gonna get you some tissues-”

Moments later Kwangho returned with Sungkwan in tow. 

“Why is she laughing?” Sungkwan whispered completely unsubtly. “Is she crazy?”

“I think she’s in shock,” Kwangho whispered back. “Go find Namtaek or Hyunmin!” He almost shoved a whole roll of toilet paper into her hands.

“Yeah I’m gonna go for Hyunmin hyung byeee”

“Thank you,” Miho said, holding one wad of toilet paper to her nose and trying to clean up the mess of tears with the other. She laughed again. “Oh I cannot believe this!”

“Why are you laughing???” Kwnagho asked.

“I don’t know!” Miho said in between giggles. “It’s just so typically stupidly me! Who else on this very earth would walk into a door and shatter her nose on the first day of work?!”

Kwangho let out a laugh himself and dropped down next to her. He opened his mouth to speak when the door burst open yet another time. “What did you do?!” Hyunmin demanded. Kwangho jumped up and stepped away from Miho while Hyunmin knelt in front of her. “Let me see the nose.”

Miho took away the wad of bloody tissues and felt more blood start to make its way down.

Hyunmin winced. “Bruises and swollen, you can’t film like this. Pinch the top of your nose shut to stop the bleeding.” He got up, brushed an annoyed hand through his hair, and grabbed his phone. “You guys stay with her while I fix things.” Only then did she notice the 6 faces all staring at her from the doorway.”

Miho waved. Only Yunseong, Sukim, and Hanzo waved back.

“Well, this has been an eventful shoot,” Namtaek slinked back into the room. “This is almost as dramatic as that time Sungkwan assumed the mv director was the coffee girl.”

“IT WAS ONE TIME AND I APOLOGISED.”

“Creating a safe and equal  workplace starts with calling out blatant and horrific ism.”

“HYUNG LET ME LIVE.”

“Maybe when you’ve earned it.” He turned back to Miho. “You doing okay? How’s it looking? Do you want me to fire Kwangho? I will in a heartbeat, he doesn’t add that much anyway.”

“Hey!”

“Tell us if you want us to go,” Injae said. “There’s a lot of faces in your space right now, we’d totally get it.”

“Should I bring you some water? Some food?” Sukim asked.

Miho shook her head and regretted it when it swam a little. “No no it’s okay. I’m okay.”

Kwangho side-eyed Miho and then turned to Hanzo. “I can’t believe you literally slept through filming yesterday.”

“Hey! The director told me to sleep!” Hanzo protested.

“To act asleep!”

“It’s called method acting!”

“You’ll see real acting when Sungkwan gets to cry tomorrow,” Namtaek said.

“Heck yes you will! I’ve been told my crying is excellent.”

Miho giggled at the ridiculousness. It really did help to have a chaotic bunch of distractions from the now-throbbing nose. Eventually Yunseong slipped off to get her some water and a stylist briefly shooed them out of the room to help her out of her clothes and nearly faint at the sight of the blood on Kwangho’s sleeve.

Then, in what felt like an aeon but was probably just an hour later, the door was thrown open and a stunning girl stepped inside. Her shoulder-length black hair looked glossy and perfect against a face as perfectly made up as Miho’s (or at least, had been the blood-letting), Miho felt she’d never get used to talking to these amazingly perfectly gorgeous idols, how were they even real?? 

“Somyeong!” Sungkwan exclaimed in obvious relief.

Namtaek smiled. “Always here to save the day.”

Somyeong smiled. “I will always clean your messes, oppa.” She turned toward Miho and her smile cooled. “So this is my replacement, is it? What happened to her face?”

“Kwangho happened,” Hanzo said while Miho could feel her face flush even more, surely she was now as red as the blood on her tissue. She became horribly acutely aware of the bruise that must be forming on her nose, how puffy her eyes were after all the crying, the stark red on white of the tissue still pressed to her nose. And were her too-thick thighs showing in this outfit? She wanted to disappear into the floor. Wow the emotions of this day were a LOT.

“It was my fault really,” she said. “I wasn’t paying attention and he opened the door-”

“He opened a door in her face,” Injae said. “A door. Into her face.”

“Well I’m here now,” Somyeong said. “So at least the shoot is saved.” She turned back to Miho. “Hyunmin oppa is waiting outside in the car to take you to the hospital for a check-up, you should probably not make him wait.”

Miho scrambled to sit up. “Oh! Right!” She gave the guys a quick bow and then Somyeong one too just in case. “Thank you so much for helping me and I’m so sorry for being a bother.”

She closed the door behind her and took a breath. Her nose had stopped bleeding at least but still hurt. How had the day gotten this ridiculous so quickly?! She took another breath. At least she had a lot to tell Misun!

She laughed softly to herself. If the life as an idol was this eventful, at least she’d never be bored! Silver linings, right?

Minah opened another folder. Inside was a lovely headshot looking back, not a standard idol visual for sure but her smile was all charm and Minah knew that in real life it was much charmer yet.  And still, she hesitated for but a moment.

Sungsoon didn’t notice and beamed at the picture. “Ah, Jooa! Such a lovely girl!”

Minah placed the headshot on the board and stepped back. There wasn’t logically any reason to be anything but excited to have Jooa on board. She was pretty in an interesting way which Minah always valued more than a cookie cutter visual. She had a real talent in variety that could prove invaluable for the group’s infiltration of the general public. Her father was a prolific music producer in the industry that Minah would just *love to grab the pearls from and what better motivation than to give his best songs for his daughter’s success. To top it all off Jooa came alive when given only the slightly bit of attention, she was born to be idolised.

Still, something within Minah screamed that Jooa was a loose cannon. Somewhere somehow she could shoot in the wrong direction. But to decline such potential… None of the other girls really had many prospects for variety. Somyeong was too proper, Miho too nice, Harin too subdued, Jangmi too proud. Jooa was the perfect mix of shamelessness and charm to give doni and coni a run for their money. 

Truly, she’d be a fool to waste that potential

“Mihi Mihi Mihi Mihi!!” Jooa ran up to her new best friend and slipped her arm through Miho’s. The cold February air was scalding but Jooa was overjoyed at being able to wear the fancy Burberry scarf she had begged and begged her parents to get her.

“You have to tell me all about the shoot yesterday! I can’t believe you’ve only been here for like a day and you’re already getting famous. I'm so jealous! But don’t worry I’m sure it will be sooner rather than later that this beautiful face of mine graces everyone’s television. Did I tell you I was on Running Man? Well I was in the background while they were filming an episode but I mean I’m practically already a celebrity-” she joked and then squeaked when she saw Miho’s face. Her nose bridge was bruised to hell and back and her nose held a thick bandage. “Did you get rhinoplasty?”

“What?”

Jooa gestured at her own face. “A new nose! It’s okay there’s no shame in it, I got a new nose from my dad when I turned 16 too.”

Miho’s eyes widened in panic. “Oh no no!” She crossed her arms to underline the point. “I got hit by a door during the shoot.”

“You got hit by a… door?? How does that happen?”

Miho miserably told her the story and Jooa’s eyes widened, then she burst out laughing. “OH MY GOD. Okay but that is HILARIOUS.”

“It’s not!” Miho said miserably. “I couldn’t even finish the shoot, another trainee had to do it for me.”

“Okay but it is though.”

Miho smiled softly, absolutely making Jooa’s heart flutter. “Okay it is a little hilarious. I laughed too when it happened it was just so typical Miho.”

“Are you sure the doctor didn’t, like, fix a few things while he was rooting in there. A broken nose is an excellent excuse for some improvements, you know.”

“It’s not broken, just bruised! The doctor said I was very lucky.” She touched her nose and then winced. “And I don’t think my nose needs fixing, does it?”

The girls filtered into the DM company building and sailed through security with their new personalized ID badges. It just ticked Jooa to wave her badge to the security guard like she belonged here. Omg she was a trainee!!! FINALLY.

She strode through the hallways like she owned the place even though she had only started training since the day before. She grasped Miho’s arm tighter. “Come on, let me show you around!”

“Oh, thank you!” Miho smiled gratefully and Jooa knew then that she was doing the girl the greatest service and she would go to bed feeling like her good deed of the day was done. Where would little Mihi be without her, truly? She showed her the training rooms designated for trainees. She showed her the bathrooms. She showed her the changing rooms. And, well, that was really all she had been able to discover yesterday and there had been nobody to lead her around. 

She was about to show Miho the final piece in this short but very educational tour of the floor -the water fountain- when she rounded the corner and found the water fountain was engaged. A boy was drinking from it. When he saw them he gaped, mouth open, as a stream of water still hit his face.

“Hi oppa,” Miho waved a little shyly, colour tinging her cheeks.

The boy straightened up and rather inelegantly rubbed the water from his mouth. He was still gaping though, staring at Jooa of all people. 

“Hello?” Jooa asked, raising one eyebrow. “Are you gonna introduce yourself or what?”

The boy’s eyes widened. He retreated, literally stepping backwards as he continued gaping, and then disappeared into the open doorway of one of the training rooms. Then he stepped back out again. “Hanzo,” he said, voice quivering.

Jooa stage-whispered to Miho “is that a word or…”

"His name is Hanzo,” Miho said.

“I’m eh I’m Hanzo,” the boy said uselessly now.

“Ok,” Jooa said.

“This is Jooa,” Miho said helpfully, bless her.

“Jooa,” the boy whispered to himself.

Jooa, who had moments before relinquished grasp of Miho’s arm in order to use her appendages to dramatically indicate the many wonderful aspects of a building she barely knew, firmly resumed control over the limb and stepped back. “I’m just going to remove myself from this situation.”

The boy hoovered backwards into the practice room then reached out an arm, grabbed the doorknob, and pulled it closed.

“What a ing weirdo,” Jooa muttered.

“What?” Miho asked.

“Oh I said let’s go practice, I know just the song I really want to try- have you heard about Trouble Maker?”

“I still don’t understand why you’ve chosen to take her in,” Sungsoon said. “She’s a great dancer and charismatic and all  but her personality doesn’t suit an idol. She sounds like a liability.”

Minah lets out a small laugh, JooA seemed more of a risk to her than Jangmi. "Have you seen her? Even as a backup dancer it was hard to take your eyes off her, putting her behind a star is an absolute waste of potential. And as a professional I expect her to be able to stay scandal free. Every group needs it's appeal, we might be targeting women but that doesn't mean I don't happily invite the cash of men."

She took another sip of her wine and regarded the photo very carefully. Sungsoon was right, taking in Jangmi was a big risk, but she could already taste the payoff in only the most expensive of chardonnays. If she caught on they could have a new Hyori, a new Hyuna, a new Chungha… appeal and charisma working together to create a super star- and unlike the first two this one actually had talent. 

She could also prove too loose a canon to handle of course and take the rest of the girls down into notoriety with her- no, if that happened they would simply remove her from the group. Maybe they could even use the negative press and spin it as a liberation for the other girls should it come to it. She reached out and placed Jangmi’s headshot firmly with the other girls.

“Besides,” Minah continued after a health imbibement of wine. “We need a main dancer, and who else is going to fill that role? Face it, our roster is rich with stars but poor in exceptional talent and we need someone who can give them legitimacy in that area.”

Sorry Namtaek, she thought. No amount of pleading can make me decline such a wonderful forbidden fruit for my magnum opus. 

“The group is shaping up,” Sungsoon said. “Didn’t you want 5 to 6 members?”

Minah cocked her head. “We’re missing a main vocal.” Where or where would she manage to find one of those?

“Somyeong might manage,” Sungsoon offered. “She has improved so much over the years…”

Minah shook her head. “She has a sweet voice but we need someone with power to anchor the songs. All we need is a voice attached to a passable face, the rest of the girls are the stars, I just need the music to sound just good enough to hit the airwaves.” She already had all of her feelers out for prominent ex-trainees from other companies she could gobble up but no main vocal material had come forward. Her aides had run through countless videos of survival shows to find eligible candidates but even there the pickings were slim. There was one option of course but Minah would not stoop so low if she could help it. “We just have to keep looking,” she said. “Mode will have a main vocal."

Jangmi always thought she had a pretty good voice in that way that she assumed everyone thought they had a pretty good voice. She slayed Itaewon Freedom on noraebang nights, serenaded her roommate's cat when he wasn't around, and sometimes secretly sang along to songs she was practicing for a job. 

It was totally different to hear her voice on a track.

She'd just been chilling in the studio after her evening shift at the sushi place, still wearing the ty uniform, while Namtaek worked on preparing some demos of songs he wrote. She kinda liked just listening to him work, he was so focused, it was like someone with actual ambition and drive suddenly possessed the body of her lazy good for nothing boyfriend. Then he asked her to sing one of the demos for him and she’d slipped into that uncharted territory of a recording booth and done her best. And here it was, her voice on a song, playing through the speakers, like a dream.

She leaned over his chair and gave him a kiss. "I like this side of you, the side that actually gets off his and works."

"I will have you know that I wrote most of this song sitting on the sofa," he said. "Your closed-mindedness does you a disservice."

She laughed. "Play it again."

He grinned and played the recording again and Jangmi closed her eyes and listened. "I'm not half bad, am I?"

"Don't I tell you that every time you sing Itaewon Freedom?" Namtaek almost sounded offended.

"I can't believe anything you tell me, you're my boyfriend, you're biased." She gave him another kiss. "Or you should be if you want to keep getting laid."

Namtaek snorted. "Please, like you can resist this charm."

"There is literally someone in the room with you right now, would you please stop being disgusting."

Jangmi laughed and turned to Sungkwan and gave him a peck on the cheek. “There, do you feel included now or do I have to call Somyeongie?”

“I resent every bit of you.”

“Hey do you think Somyeong’s gonna be around tomorrow morning? I was thinking of making pancakes again~ and we still haven’t finished watching our drama.”

“I think so- oh but you know she doesn’t eat pancakes anymore.”

“Oh, balls, you’re right. Hey, why are you here anyway?” Jangmi asked.

“He’s avoiding mandatory gym time,” Namtaek said. “What did you tell them?”

“No clue, Sukim’s covering for me.”

“You probably shouldn’t take advantage of him like that,” Jangmi said.

“If Sukim wants to be so nice it’s annoying, who am I to stop him?” Sungkwan said, throwing a peanut up in the air for catching. It bounced off of his forehead instead and disappeared into the infinite creases of the sofa. “I’m pretty sure every girl is like at least 5% in love with him.”

Jangmi nodded. “It’s true, I’m a little in love with him too.”

“I’m right here,” Namtaek grumbled. “Like, sitting right in front of you, the man you’re supposed to have pledged your eternal dying love to. Right here. Hearing all of this.”

“Sukim seems like the kind of person who would arrange for a sweet romantic dinner with candles and roses everywhere,” Jangmi said, staring dreamily into the distance. 

“I am dying a death by a thousand cuts.”

“Oh please. You can’t even be arsed to write me a song and it’s the only thing you’re good for.”

“I don’t write songs for girls who are only 95% in love with me.”

“Literally the last date we had you put a tablecloth on the coffee table so we could sit on the couch, we ordered chicken, and clung to my arm as we watched the Wicker Man because it was scary.”

“And was it not our best date yet?”

“It was.” She turned her attention back to the track. “Could you play it again?”

Namtaek laughed. “You really can’t get enough of your voice, can you?”

“I’ve never heard myself like this before!” She scooted her chair up to the console and closed her eyes. "So, what's it really like, being an idol?" Jangmi asked.

“Haven’t we talked about it enough?” Namtaek cocked his head. “Annoying but electrifying. Exhilarating but exhausting. Exposed but lonely. Ultimately unfulfilling.”

Jangmi rolled her eyes. “But what’s it like when the spotlight is truly on you, when all those eyes and ears are there to perceive you and only you?”

“Addictive,” Sungkwan provided. “Terrifying but , eh, addictive?”

Namtaek snorted. “Try harder.”

Sungkwan shot him a glare before continuing. “Everything has good bits and bad bits. The money’s unless you make it big, but even if you make it mediocre there’s still a lot of doors that open for you if you have even a medium fanbase. Traveling is fun, and performances are great. Fans are nice when they don’t go too far, very ty when they do, but they’re worth that moment of spotlight when you know they’re here to see you. Biggest downside is having to live with this bunch of es to be honest.”

“Much better!” Namtaek squinted at her. “What are you doing?”

“Hm?”

“You have that look on your face, that look that says you’re contemplating something. Talk to me.”

Sungkwan got up and grabbed his phone. “I’m just gonna goooo,” he said, before sneaking out the door like a slitherer outer. 

"You remember when we practiced for your Swim Good stage?"

"Vividly," Namtaek said, a grin spreading across his face. "You made it very difficult to forget."

Jangmi smiles back. "So did you. But what I remember most strongly about it was the energy, the spotlights, the eyes upon me… and the applause that was only for you." She shrugged. “Just thinking it might be nice to have some for me too.”

Namtaek snorted. “You wouldn’t last a week as an idol.”

Jangmi crossed her arms. “Now what makes you say that?”

“Jangmi, please. Look at you, listen to you,” Namtaek gestured at her. “As an idol, especially as a female idol, you’re expected to be perfect and have a cookie cutter persona, god forbid if you ever show any personality or say anything that’s not perfectly acceptable. Jangmi, I love you for the way you can bring life to any room, turn anywhere into a party, and I can’t for the life of me imagine you distilled into an essence of pure milquetoast marketability. It’d be a war crime.

“Being an idol means people all around you taking cuts and cuts and cuts out of you, some so little you won’t even notice until you lift your arm, some so big they ache for the rest of your life. Everyone wants a cut, some to have a piece of you, others to make you into exactly what they need you to be to sell you. Everyone asks more than you can give, everyone wants more than you’re willing to part with, and there is very little that you, Song Jangmi, are willing to part with.”

Jangmi crossed her arms. If the alternative was a lifetime as a sushi waitress, begging for scraps of dance assignments from the studio, never able to afford a place without at least 3 roommates cramped together in a high rise, what could being an idol hurt? It wasn’t like she had any other bright prospects going for her. A girl without even a high school diploma, no work experience other than ty service jobs and a backup dance gig here and there. “You have no idea what I am and am not willing to do.”

“No, I don’t!” Namtaek snapped. “Because you’re never actually willing to tell me!”

“Oh not this again, do you want me to write you up a detailed encyclopedia of who I am? ‘On Sundays Jangmi likes to eat pancakes’ ‘if you greet Jangmi at 7am she is likely to respond in one of 5 ways, a)-’.”

“Oh right because it’s so unreasonable for me to want any kind of insight into how my girlfriend is feeling.”

“Your girlfriend-” she snapped her purse off the seat with dramatic flourish. “Isn’t feeling this conversation anymore. She will see you later.”

~*~

Jangmi had brought only one bag with her, that should be enough. She hadn’t left all that much at the dorm after all, on account of how awkward it had been to stay over at a dorm with like 6 other guys in it. Don’t get her wrong, she loved the Axiz boys dearly but being one of two girls in what was essentially a bachelor pad of 7 had it’s… awkwardnesses. 

In the bathroom she found her toothbrush. She’d purposefully bought the most obnoxiously pink one to freak the boys out and also ensure that none of them would steal it even if normally she hated girly like that. There was her makeup bag that had covertly been tampered with. She knew Kwangho was secretly using her moisturizer. She found pen and paper in the living room and quickly wrote down the brand and product for him and put the paper in his room. 

 In Namtaek’s room (blissfully he was the only one who didn’t share with anyone. He’d said he had earned it fair and square in kai bai bo, Jangmi knew he was a filthy cheater and was convinced there’d been foul play involved). In his dresser she found some of her clothes and clean underwear. In the laundry she’d found some dirty underwear. There had been much ewing and cajoling when a girl’s underwear first started popping up in the dorm. Jangmi had silenced that effectively by calling them all a bunch of babies. Her hairbrush was on the nightstand, her Nintendo 3DS in one of the drawers. It was still on, her animal crossing residents probably begging her to release them from their torment. She found one sock under the bed, the other was missing and would probably never be found. 

She was on her knees reaching under the bed for her favourite scrunchie when the door opened loudly. Jangmi startled so hard she hit her head on the underside of the bed and let out a string of very colourful swears. Goddamnit, Namtaek had promised her she’d be able to collect her things in peace!

“You’re really leaving?”

The voice was soft, so soft. A quiver distorted it into ways that made both Jangmi’s heart and head hurt. She extracted herself from the bed situation and looked up to see maknae Yunseong standing in the doorway. He held her elbow with one arm, exquisitely beautiful baby face scrunched up and awkward.

Jangmi got up and brushed the dust from her legs. “Hey Seongie,” she said. “Yeah, we broke up. Mutual decision, no hard feelings, but if I kept sleeping in his stupidly tiny bed that would be a little uncomfortable  you know.”

“And you weren’t going to tell me?”

Ah hell. Jangmi had hoped to just quietly slip out of everyone’s lives exactly so she wouldn’t have a moment like this. It would only be for a little while anyway if her plans worked out! “Look, I’m sorry kid sometimes things just don’t really work out. We’ve both decided to focus on our careers and the whole puzzle just didn’t fit. But hey, I’ll send you the recipe for pancakes and you can take over for me there, alright?”

She pulled the scrunchie onto her wrist and zipped the bag closed. It wasn’t even full yet but she was sure she got everything. She mussed up Yunseong’s hair as she passed. “And hey, I might just see you sooner rather than later.” With one last wink she was out the door and let out a sigh of relief. 

Now it was time to do some real thinking and some real scheming.

Mode needed a main vocal. Minah’s hand tightened around the soju bottle, the other hand holding the old headshot up. The paper was yellowing with age, one corner dog-eared, the other had the stain of a coffee cup. She was surprised they’d still had the file, Minah was sure that expelled trainees’ files would be purged, no longer necessary, but it seemed her filers were more thorough in their jobs than she gave them credit for.

The girl staring back at her looked almost frightened of the camera, still wearing her school uniform. Her hair was falling in limp black sheets past her face and her chin had a few acne spots. She was utterly and completely unexciting and ordinary. Pretty enough, admittedly, but she moved nothing in Minah. After all, that was the reason why she had cut Boyeon from the trainee program 3 years ago. She’d seen no future in the timid girl, no reason to keep investing resources into a lost cause.

The only thing Boyeon had had going for her were her vocals. They had paled in comparison to Jia of course, but Jia was gone and Mode needed a main vocalist. 

She had to admit, the girl had been ballsy to apply for the then-new and ambitious Produce 101 project. It was a move she hadn’t thought the weak spined girl she had dismissed to be capable of. It was a spark of hope that maybe Boyeon had grown a personality in the 3 years since. And yet- and yet-

Minah set the headshot down and perused the files. Most of them were old evaluation write-ups and training reports. Reports complementing her voice, reports be her presence, one scalding report Minah had made herself. And a form filled with personal information such as the phone numbers of her family…

She could still find a vocalist elsewhere. Maybe they could set out a call? Maybe she could visit more vocal schools in the rest of the country. 

But no, debut was set for two months away and she had not a single lead for someone else. She was going to have to do the unthinkable. She was going to have to go back on her word.

She finished the bottle of soju in a gulp, feel the slight tingle effect on her body, and grabbed her phone. 

Her company was worth more than her pride.

Her stomach tied itself into knots as Boyeon walked through the familiar sliding doors. The memories of the place were once hazy and lurking just at the edge of her memory. Had it really been no more than 3 years? No less?

Not much had changed within the lobby from what Boyeon remembered. So Kim Hwahyun was still working here after all these years. Hwahyun gave her warm smile and opened to speak as she opened the gates for her, but was interrupted by a hawkish rigid woman swanning out of the elevator. She wore an expensive suit so well-tailored it looked nearly attached to her body, her hair was pulled back into a strict bun, and if Boyeon inhaled now she was sure she would inhale the smell of money. But that wasn’t quite true anymore, was it? If it were then Boyeon wouldn’t be here right now.

She clenched her fist and Jung Minah approached her, fake smile already on her lips. Just seeing her turned part of Boyeon back into the scared little 17 year old who had shaken at the critical gaze of the CEO. Who had felt that whatever she did or however hard she worked she would never be good enough for this woman.

“Shin Boyeon,” Minah said with grace but not a hint of warmth. “I am so glad you could make it.”

Boyeon’s nails dug into the palm of her hand. “Of course, thank you for thinking of me.” Who’s never going to be an idol now? She thought. It did nothing to dispell the dread she felt. Part of her wondered why she was here? Why did she accept? But that was silly, she knew why. The curse of having a dream.

“Let me show you around,” Minah said. “It has been a while, I’m sure you’re a little rusty.”

Boyeon only nodded. Was that a thinly veiled barb? Or was Minah trying, against her nature, to be kind? She never could tell.

“There have been some changes here and there,” Minah said, as she lead Boyeon towards the staircase. “The training rooms are still in the same place of course, that’s where you’ll be spending most of the next two months. We’ve remodeled the cafetaria where you can grab a meal twice a day, though do mind your weight, dear. If you are chosen to debut you must be ready.” Boyeon almost snorted there. Even now when both of them knew that Minah dearly need Boyeon. Boyeon knew very well that the woman would never have called her if there was any alternative. Did she still pretend to have the upper hand in their relationship?  She had almost forgotten just how unpleasant being in Minah’s company was. Almost.

Blissfully, Minah’s phone rang and she moved to check who was calling. “Ah, I really must take this. You still know your way around, don’t you Boyeon? The other trainees will be practicing by now, I suggest you join them and get acquainted.” She didn’t even wait for a response, just turned away and picked up the phone with a curt “hello”, leaving Boyeon alone in the hallway.

She sighed, repositioned her heavy bag on her shoulder, and climbed up the set of stairs to the trainee floor. There were so many memories tied to these halls, so many ghosts who walked them. Here is where she’d had her vocal practices, the only lessons she’d excelled in. There is where Yura had comforted her after a scalding evaluation. She passed the one water fountain where she always ended up bumping into Sukim and he’d find a way to cheer her up no matter how bad she’d been feeling. These halls used to be bustling, at the height when she was there there must have been at least 15 girl trainees and 20 boy trainees and there was always someone running to and fro. Now the hall was deserted, she could only hear soft music coming from one of the practice rooms.

This was it. Who would her teammates be? Would she even still know anyone? Yura said that most of the girls had left by the time she did. Who would be waiting on the other side of that door? And why couldn't she get herself to go see?

She opened the door and startled at the girl who had glanced over at the interruption. , Somyeong was still here. She hadn't changed a bit aside from age. Still the same angelic eyes and full mouth and perfect oval face.

Somyeong cocked her head. "Hello? And who might you be?"

And then someone bumped right into her from behind. “Oh, , sorry! Totally wasn’t paying attention!”

Boyeon jumped around to see a tall girl just about managing to hold on to a steaming styrofoam cup of coffee. “Oh- I’m sorry-” Boyeon splutters.

The girl stepped back and regarded her for a moment. “Do you want a coffee?” she held out the cup.

“Isn’t it yours?” Boyeon asked.

“Yeah but you look like you need it more.”

She hesitated for a second then wrapped her hands around the blissfully warm cup. “Thank you,” she said. “I’m Shin Boyeon. A new trainee, sort of."

“Song Jangmi,” the girl said with a grin. “An old trainee, sort of. So you’re the new new girl! Let me introduce you to the others, we’re a chaotic bunch but we’re harmless. Mostly.”

"I still think it's despicable how he actually anticipated a reward," Sungsoon said.

Minah took a good sip her wine. "He's a nasty little man," she agreed. "Though a decent enough manager. Lucky for us he at least appears to have winning genes."

The picture in front of them was a school photo, not any kind if official headshot. The girl was  very pretty, young but pretty. She would grow into a beautiful woman, and before that would capture hearts as a beautiful child. 15 year old Seo Aera was a sight to behold.

"Isn't it too late now to add anyone?" Sungsoon said. Minah chose to ignore the note if hope in her voice. "The songs have already been recorded and they've already been practicing the dance."

"Oh, Aera doesn't need many lines," Minah said. "We'll have her record one or two lines each song and that should do well enough for now. A visual doesn't need lines, she just need to be seen."

"Visual?" Sungsoon sputtered. "Isn't that Miho? She's prettier to me, and to be a visual that young…"

"Oh don't be so sentimental. Sohee was a visual that young. Dasom was a visual that young. Miho is probably better suited, but alas she is also Japanese, I'd rather not risk it. Besides, Miho's visuals will stand out with or without the title. Aera's could use the extra definition."

"What did you do about the vile man?" Sungsoon asked.

Minah wished she could say that she had fired him, but alas that was not how things worked in this industry. "I gave a raise," she admitted unhappily. "And promoted him to managed of Aleis. At least with the upcoming tour that should keep him away from Aera quite effectively."

She moved the photo to the end of the Mode board, the school photo clashing horribly with the professional ones. "I want a good profile photo shoot as soon as possible," she said. "I do believe mode is complete."

It was more difficult than she'd thought to fold her entire life into one old suitcase. First were her school uniforms, she'd need those every day. Two pairs of pants and tops for the weekend. She didn't have any gym wear except for what her school provided, should she get some extra track pants and those special sports shirts? Could they afford it? The school stuff would have to do for now. 

The suitcase was already two thirds full by the time she's finished packing the necessary clothes. It was her dad's old one, a big leather thing that didn't have wheels so you had to carry it yourself. He'd given it to her when he's gotten himself a more practical one for when he had to go abroad for work. She liked the old leather one better, it smelled of old and worn things. It had been used, if not loved. She liked things that had been used, things that had dilligently and neatly fulfilled their purpose.

Then it was time to pack the other things. Her school books and notebooks of course. That took up half the space that was still left. She looked around the room at her collection of plushies, the few bits and bobs of decoration. There was a really ugly statue of a geisha her dad had brought her from one of the many Japanese trips he'd taken with the boy group he managed. The paint was a mess, whatever robot had been spraying this mass produced tourism trinket had been just a few milimeters off of its mark, making it look like her entire face had neatly shifted just a bit to the right. It was the only thing her dad had ever brought her from abroad. She gently laid it down between the pleats of the school skirts. 

With a few extra things jammed in (a postcard from her grandparents from Phuket, the few snacks that were in the apartment, a thick home sweater that took up too much space and was completely unnecessary but it was fleece and warm and she'd had it for years) she closed the suitcase with effort and stepped out of the room she'd spent most of her life living in.

It was silly to feel any sort of attachment. The dingy apartment would still be there. She could catch the array of metros she'd need to get to it any time she wanted. And she wouldn't miss the mold in the bathroom or the way you always had to try 4 times before the gas pit would ignite or the unwanted bugs scampering about in the corners. Really, why would she want to return to this flat? The flat she had so often been alone in while her dad was staying with his boygroup. The flat with the unending boxes of instant ramyeon, or the foul smelling tupperware boxes of kimchi her grandmother tried to feed her with. The flat that barely had enough room for one and was entirely unbearable when there were two. Truly, whatever situation these dorms would be in, it was bound to be an improvement.

And yet, part of her heart ached to leave it behind. She knew logically that it was probably just an apprehension for change and an attachment to normalcy that made her feel this way but it didn't stop her feeling.

What did it matter, anyway? This was all a bubble that would burst soon enough. They'd see past her face, see how unsuited she was to the task, see what her personality was like… They'd come to their senses and then she'd be back here and everything would return to normal.

She put her shoes on, grabbed her heavy suitcase and backpack, locked the door, and was on her way.

“Guys. Guys! I have looked upon the sun, the light of my life, and I shall never be the same again.”

“Oh hey Hanzo,” Kwangho waved, the rest didn’t even have the decency to look up from whatever stupid game they were playing.

“Are you hearing me??” Hanzo jumped in front of the tv. “The most momentous thing that has ever happened in my life has just happened to me!!!!”

“SHOVE OFF I’M WINNING” Sungkwan complained.

“Wasn’t debut the most momentous thing in your life?” Injae asked. “If it wasn't, we’ve got to get ourselves a new rapper.” He turned to Namtaek. “You can rap right?”

“Oh yeah I can replace him in an instant,” Namtaek said, leaning to the side controller in hand in sync with the Waluigi on screen.

“AH I FELL OFF THE RAINBOW ROAD GODDAMNIT”

Hanzo looked from one to the other, completely perplexed. “No- but-”

“What happened?” Yunseong, sweet maknae Yunseong, asked.

Hanzo took a breath, he could save this. “I met a goddess,” he said, putting every single ounce of emotion he felt into the word. “A goddess!”

“...”

“Ugh, the match is ruined! I can’t see anything!” Sungkwan yelled.

“What?” Injae asked, nearly interested.

“Ok. Cool.” Namtaek said, pulling off a perfect drift.

ing useless, all of them.

“I met a perfect girl in every single way!” Hanzo tried again. “The new trainee!”

“There’s a new trainee?” Sukim asked. “You mean aside from the bloody girl?”

“Yeah there’s another,” Kwangho said. “I think they came in at the same time.”

“I mean Jooa of course, who else?” Hanzo was so incredibly offended they’d even consider he might be talking about that other girl.

“Kinda rude to the bloody one.”

“Yeah she bled for us dude, show some respect.”

“I liked her she was chill.”

“I’m not sure chill is how I’d describe what happened last week-”

This was derailing quicker than his high school grades after he started training. “She’s like- she’s exactly my ideal type. She’s perfect!”

“Wasn’t your ideal type someone shy, cute, and loving?” Sungkwan side-eyed while taking a sip of his tea. “I met this one. She’s…. Not that.”

“She’s perfect,” Hanzo insisted, pretending so hard Sungkwan didn’t exist. “She’s the kimchi to my rice.”

“Shouldn’t that be, like, sushi or something?” Sukim wondered.

“Don’t be racist, hyung,” Kwangho shot back. “Japanese people can eat kimchi.”

“She's Juliet to my Romeo,” Hanzo continued, looking off into the distance.

“Didn’t they both die?” Sungkwan pointed out.

“Yeah they definitely died,” Injae confirmed.

“Hyung, please don’t die!” Yunseong’s face was filled with concern.

Hanzo blinked. “I’m not gonna- seriously, everyone, all of you!” This was so not going the way he had planned it to, in his head they had all gasped and pledged to help him in his quest for love like good bros ought to do! Like they did in k AND j dramas!!! 

 The he got instead was a bunch of guys looking at him in states ranging from mild curiosity to real concern to complete disinterest.

 Whatever, unloyal useless bastards. There was one most important thing he absolutely had to secure yet. “Guys, please. PLEASE. LISTEN TO ME.”

6 pairs of eyes all snapped his way and for the first time in probably he is life he had their complete and undivided attention for this just moment. He took a breath. The most important part. The real reason he had started this entire conversation. This was it. This was the moment.

He cleared his threat. “Under the bro code, I have full and unconditional dibs on Jooa. Do not any of you *dare make a move.”

The guys stared back at him and the silence stretched out for real uncomfortable seconds. Then Namtaek turned around and called out. “YO JANGMI!”

“YEAH?” a voice yelled from the bathroom.

“HANZO JUST SAID HE HAS DIBS ON THE NEW GIRL TRAINEE!” Next to him Hanzo felt himself growing beet red, eyes wide and shaking his head in mortification. No no no no no no no no no

“WHAT?! YOU DON’T CALL DIBS ON A HUMAN BEING YOU PIECE OF !!!” came the voice from the bathroom. “DON’T BE SO ING IST.”

Namtaek turned back to Hanzo, casually pointed behind him towards Jangmi, and nodded his head sagely in agreement.

“Ok but I do have dibs, right?” whispered Hanzo, nervously glancing in the direction of the bathroom.

Sungkwan leaned around him to get a look at the tv. “I mean Namtaek and I have girlfriends, Yunseong hasn’t hit puberty yet, Injae would never look at anyone except that Gireon chick, Sukim is a prude, and I’m still not convinced Kwangho isn’t gay.”

“Hey! I don’t like the way you’re phrasing that as an insult!”

“You didn’t stay no.”

“It’s a trap and I’m not falling for it!”

“Hyung I’m 16 I’ve hit puberty!!!”

Hanzo leaned in, more insistent this time. “Right???”

“Yeah fine,” Injae said, trying to suppress an eye roll with the force of a thousand meteors. “You have dibs.”

“YES!” Hanzo pumped his fist in the air. “That’s all I wanted to know!”

“Now can we please get back to Mario Kart??"

Walks in 2 years late with a starbucks... 

Better late than never right?