When we both debuted together as IZ*ONE members, I was truly over the moon. I had so many grand plans and schemes in my head on how I wanted to spoil her and take care of my precious dongsaeng. But somehow none of those worked out. I mean how could they? 

Every time our eyes meet, my heart feels as though it is palpitating. I try to stay calm, convincing myself that she’s just my cute baby dongsaeng. I tend to be clingy with all the others, but when it comes to her, I can barely even function lately.

Wonyoung, I know it may seem like I’m always playing with the other unnies and ignoring you. I’m sorry it’s not that I don’t want to be with you. In fact it’s the opposite. I feel so helpless to the point it makes me want to cry. I love you so much but yet I can’t take a step forward nor do anything about it.

I want to be with you. I really do. I want your hug, your touch, your smile…but why can’t I bring myself to tell you? It may sound like an excuse, but perhaps that’s just how much I love you.

But even still, you never once gave up on me or on us. Or maybe you’re just stubborn? I don’t know but I’m thankful. Sometimes when we spend days not seeing each other due to different work, you still won’t hesitate to run up and hug me and tell me how much you missed me.  

You’ll still affectionately feed me with your favorite snacks, laughing heartily and hoping I’ll like them too. I thought now that we’re in different dorms, perhaps you’ll get attached to the other unnies and distance away from me. But I was so wrong. No one is as loyal and faithful as you are to me.

We would sometimes share airpods and listen to the same music because we have similar music taste. But because of that, almost every song out there is like our own soundtrack that reminds me of you.

When we’re apart, it makes me want to see you more. I had the chance to tell you just how much you meant to me on your birthday Vlive, but I could barely even face you or look at you.

Even so, it was as though you knew I was really trying my best.  I rewatched your birthday Vlive and saw you beaming gleefully next to me as I talked about you. I know I act kind of nonchalantly sometimes as though I don’t remember our past episodes when we were trainees.

But you know what? I do remember every detail, but I just enjoy the way you would excitedly tell everyone about our past memories together.  I find it so cute, and it always makes me smile like an idiot.

Then, on my birthday the next day, I felt a sudden gush of confidence. As you spoke your birthday message to me during my birthday Vlive, I had the urge to touch your hair.

So, I touched it, acting as though I was helping you adjust your hair. Perhaps you were caught off guard by my gesture, but you suddenly got flustered. You were so cute I couldn’t help but to giggle to myself. 

You also probably had no idea how much I freaked out inside when you told me you loved me. Just those simple words, but yet I felt like all those feelings I so carefully kept inside was in danger of spilling out. We ended up laughing awkwardly together, but the truth is just you saying those words made me the happiest person that day.

Thanks to that, my surge of “birthday confidence” continued throughout that day. During our day concert in Kobe, I put my flower behind your ear at the end of our So Curious performance because no one suits flowers better than you do.

It was then I realized even the little things I do for you could make you smile so brightly. At the same time, I was also glad I could clown Chaewon unnie during the night too by giving my flower to you who was behind me instead.

Chaewon’s reaction was priceless, but no one knew that was also my cover to give my flower to the most important person of my life on my own special day. Even though I had already agreed with you to pass my flower to you beforehand, the look of joy on your face on that moment really hit right into my heart.

If I can see your dazzling smile like that each time, perhaps I should think about giving my flower to you in the remaining concerts too. The only problem is that I don’t know if my poor heart would even be able to take it.

Wonyoung, if I do end up conveying my feelings to you, what would become of us tomorrow? If I told you I loved you to the moon and back, would you just laugh it off? Then again, you were the one who called me your destiny. Haha.

Anyway, I’m not sure of how you feel about me, but I doubt your love for me is as intense as my love to you. That’s fine though. You’ll always be my precious bunny, and I’ll be your puppy.

We’ve spent a lot of time together, but even from now on we’ll be together for a long time to come right? I’m dying to tell you I love you but it seems like I can’t say it after all.

Even if it means that my feelings for you remain to be in asymmetry, I’m happy as long as I can be with you. I love you.