"I hope you are feeling better. If there's anything you'd like to share, please remember that we are one call away."

"Thank you."

Byul can hear a smile with sniff from the other line, and hangs up the call right after when she's sure that the person is alright. Byul has been in this job for roughly a year as part-timer due to the fact that she's still a full-time university student in psychology. With this job, she is able to feel the happiness while being the emotional support for those who are in need of such support. She knows what it feels like to be lost with yourself, and how precious it can be to get somebody's emotional support; even just listening. Still immersing in her thought, then the phone rings... just in time.

"Hello, this --" 

"Is this suicide prevention hotline?" the person cuts in...which is not that unusual in Byul's experience. 

"Yes, it is. May I help you?"

"...I don't know if this work.. but.. I just want to find support...before something bad happen to me." This person seems cold, yet very straightforward. Byul can somewhat feel the familarity in that voice, but can't pinpoint for now.

"How long has you been feeling this? You can talk comfortably to me."

"since...forever." the person stops for awhile, and Byul can hear she's sobbing "I - - I just don't think I can live another day...It- It's just hurt so much."

"Listen. I know that this is tough but look at bright side, you can always find support around you."

"I can't really do that...I have my own therapist but it doesn't really work...and I cannot express this to other people...it's lonely..." the person sobs even harder.

"You have me. Right here." Byul really means it, and she's concerned about this person totally. After a few seconds of silence . . . Byul can feel the person is getting her warm, and sincerity. Byul then continues "I mean . . . I'm not a professional therapist or whatever, but I can listen...and I care."

"Thank you. Really." 

"I hope you are feeling better, and not thinking of harming yourself." 

"It is ok . . . I just put down the blade"

"Great..." Byul is able to hide her surprise nonetheless; "So whenever you feel this way, you can call our hotline, or talk to your therapist. I am concerned about your safety."

"Can-Can I just talk to you?" Byul suddenly feels the heat from her cheek...to keep her professionalism, she knows she need to have stance. 

"It's not really common-" 

"Please." the person cuts off swiftly

"Ok. Sure. but you know--"

"What's your number?" once again, Byul is cut off. 

Within a blink, it's been a week since Byul and that person keeps in touch...yes, they haven't really had the chance to know each other's name, and well, it's best not to anyway. They always talk around 1-2AM in the morning, for some reason, that person is always awake and calls Byul that time...Byul can't really complain, can she? 

"So how are you feeling today? Better?"

"Slightly...talking to you put me at ease to be honest."

"That's great to hear. Have you had chance to express your feelings to your family or friends? It's also good for you mentally."

"My parents can't know, or they will be very worried...Staying away from them already worries them..."

"I suppose you move to the city? tough job?" To Byul, it seems like the person must be working very hard to support her family; that's why she is only awake at these late times. A picture of a girl working in a Gopchang restaurant appears in her mind...is that her? 

"Well...you can say that..." In this one week time, Byul can also already tell that this person is being confidential about her identity; it gets her curious as well.

"I suppose you have colleagues...Have you ever shared your feeling with them?" 

"Yes, they are supportive...but when I am home, I am alone...and those thoughts come back..."

"Why don't you live together then?" 

"I-I am introvert...I want to live alone." this line gets Byul silent for a while...stuck...not sure what to reply. "and that's why I want to keep talking to you like this...until I'm sleepy and another day comes; just like that."

"Sure...I am here, always."

"You know someday...I just feel very empty...I don't find a reason to exist anymore...I wish I just disappear...I just couldn't handle living another day...I just wanted to close my eyes, and lose the pain."

"Perhaps ending your life is the end for you...but it's a suffering for those who are left behind."

"I don't want anyone to feel responsible on that."

"Whether you want it or not, it's up to them. Imagine they lose someone precious, and wonder what went wrong, and blame themselves for the rest of their lives."

"I don't want that."

"Perhaps...slowly, this is how you can find your strengths, and purpose." Byul can hear the other one sobs, "There's just so much you would leave behind."

"I know there's those that would envy my life...but someday, I just cannot handle the pain."

"It is tough, I won't lie about that...but I am here." 

"Thank you for that." 

After talking for a while, Byul can hears the other person yawn. 

"Look like somebody is sleepy already."

"Ha...yes I am...I can go to sleep in peace now... thank you- miss...can I just know your name?"

"I'm Moonbyul, and you can just call me Byul." Byul is happy to be honest that this person is interested to know her name at least.

"Ok, thank you Byul!" 

"You're most welcome! and your name is...?"

"No. I won't tell. See you same time tomorrow! Bye!" this person chuckles, and hangs up right after- to much Byul's annoyance.

"Thank to you, now I can sleep without using sleeping pill." 

"I'm glad to know that, ms. top secret" It's a month since they talked, and their conversation gets more casual; and there's abit of intimate...tension in between, when two people emotionally bonds.

"Ugh...I know you are pissed...but trust me, you won't want to talk to me if you see me outside."

"What are you talking about? I've been talking to you for a month, and I don't even care what you look like."

"It just . . . I am not ready."

"I just want to know your name, not marry you." 

"Who knows? Maybe we'll do that in the future! let's know each other like this first!"

"As if you are interested in me . . . "

"Of course. You're like my happy pill that no one can replace...even my therapist." 

Byul hesitates to reply, as she can feel the heat upon her cheeks. 

"Pay me my therapy session fee then! I can be a millionnaire at this point." 

"Oh. Do you have certificate to be one?" the person laughs from the other line.

"I am getting one end of next year... pay me by then." 

"I see. You must be a psychology student..or scholar!" 

"You keep getting info out of me, and I know none about you...how fair is that?" 

"Do you talk to other caller like this?" 

"No, why?" 

"Good...Because I want to be the only one." 

"Sorry! I know I am late for the call today...I'm just...confused with the timezone and all." 

"Oh, are you abroad?" 

"Well...I am...just 1 hour behind you" 

"Hong Kong?" 

"Damn...are you a fortune teller?"

"Just a wild guess..."

"Thank for staying awake, and talk to me."

"It's okay...while not talking to you, I have time to watch my favorite girlgroup on livestream." Byul