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Missed Affection
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don't take this story too seriously, i wanted to write something light^^ hope you'll enjoy it tho♥

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“Stop being so clingy, it’s annoying!”

“You’re not five anymore, why do you feel the need to hold my hand wherever we’re going? You won’t get lost, grow up!”

“I… really can’t stand this side of you sometimes.”

Donghae always wondered if he really was too much. Well, he knew he was clingy, but… was it that bad? People around kept telling him how annoying he was and how they couldn’t stand him wanting to show his affection so often. And he wondered if it really was that bad to wish to hug someone or hold their hand so often.

Some people told him it was okay, but he had to find a right person to do that with. Donghae wondered why was it impossible to hug someone, for example, even if they were just friends. Since when hugs meant something bad?

For him something like hug always was something that brought him comfort and made him feel… secure. Protected. Loved. Just as words, hugs and touches could be fake. Sometimes there is someone who will smile and shake your hand, but deep inside they will hate you and wish the worst things happen to you. Sometimes there is someone who will hug you happily, but deep inside they will want to choke you out of the rage they feel.

Just as words, hugs and other touches could hurt you.

But at the same time there wasn’t and will never be something more precious than that warm hug a person you cherish gives you when they want to make you happy. There will be nothing sweeter than that soft kiss the person you love places on your forehead when they simply want to let you know; don’t worry, I’m here. And there will be nothing gentler than your hand being embraced by the person you admire one’s when they want to support you.

Donghae clearly couldn’t understand what was wrong with the world where people hated all those things. Sometimes he also couldn’t help but thought that maybe people didn’t hate affection.

Maybe they hated giving it to him?

Looking at the guy who was standing with a stupid banner saying ‘Free Hugs!’, Donghae hesitated to come closer. The guy kept smiling at everyone, literally everyone who came to hug him; no matter if it was another guy or a girl, a kid or an adult. He offered his free hug to everyone, and most of the times even talked to them a bit. People giving free hugs weren’t something new, but this guy was there alone and he came here every Monday as if it was his job.

Donghae wondered why he chose Monday. Most of the people were too busy rushing either to work or school, or university, or somewhere else… He himself is supposed to be in a rush; he had just 15 more minutes before his lunch break will come to its end, and then he’ll need to work again.

Donghae saw this guy here every Monday. However, he always hesitated to come closer. Mostly because he was right in front of his office, and there was a high possibility someone from people he works with will notice. And they won’t leave him alone, they’ll start joking, will start mocking him again. But also…

After all those times when he was scolded for being too affectionate Donghae somehow grew insecure. He thought that maybe people really hated doing that just because it was him. Even when he tried to date people, they always hated how clingy he was, but lovers are supposed to be quite affectionate, right? So apparently he was the problem. Wasn’t it ridiculous? The guy in front of him doesn’t know who Donghae is; he most likely never noticed a weirdo who keeps looking at him from afar, envying all the people who are brave enough to hug him. So why was the man so afraid?

“Stop being so childish,” he thought to himself. “You’re almost 30. Come and hug him just like the man you are!”

Donghae smiled because of his own thoughts. Telling himself he’s not childish while thinking about something like hugs…

He inhaled. Then exhaled. Well, here and now, or never ever. He already forgot how long it’s been since the last time he hugged someone, he really… really wanted to. His family lived in Mokpo, he lived in Seoul, so he couldn’t just come and hug them whenever he wanted, and his friends… found it weird. And his love life was pretty much nonexistent for like… 2 years already? It was hard to find someone nice, okay?

It was even harder to find a nice man when you’re a man as well.

Donghae shook his head, deciding it’s not time to think about it. His break was getting closer to its end, so he had to finish everything faster. Taking a deep breath, the man got up from the bench he was sitting on and moved towards the guy. He was walking pretty fast, as if he wanted everything to end sooner, even though in fact he didn’t.

Everything happened fast though. And Donghae was sure he was so damn awkward, he actually wanted to hide somewhere and cry in the corner.

The guy was standing on the same spot, smiling at people and waiting for someone to ask for another hug. His hair was just as dark as Donghae’s, however, Donghae’s was long and he styled it in a ponytail while the guy’s hair was short. He looked good though. Really handsome.

“Not right time to think about it!” Donghae reminded himself and came closer.

“H-hello,” the man said and hated himself for stuttering, but oh well.

The guy turned to him, still smiling, and Donghae thought that apparently they’re about the same age. The stranger (can he still call him ‘stranger’ if he literally saw the guy every week?) looked really good and youthful! It’s just that there was something about the way he dressed, the way he smiled, the way he looked at Donghae, the way he held himself… it screamed that was a man, not a boy.

“Hello,” the stranger replied cheerfully. “May I help you?”

Donghae panicked. Help? Him? How?

He looked at the banner saying ‘Free Hugs!’, then at the stranger, back at the banner.

“I…”

The man in front of him chuckled.

“Relax, I got what you want here. It’s pretty obvious, isn’t it?”

“Well, uh… Yeah, not like… But like… Yeah?”

He chuckled again.

“Are you a bit shy?” the man asked. “Your first time?”

“I’ve hugged people before.”

Silence.

The man started laughing.

“I was talking about hugging strangers who offer free hugs.”

Yes. Obviously he was talking about that.

“Dumb, dumb Donghae.”

He couldn’t take it anymore, so, without saying anything, Donghae actually hugged that guy who gladly returned the hug with a soft chuckle. He patted Donghae’s back and it gently, making another man shiver.

He loved the hug so, so much.

He really missed that feeling of someone sharing his warmth with him, someone patting his back gently and offering as much affection as he wanted.

However, bad thoughts started attacking him immediately. Wasn’t it too much for the hug with the stranger? They’ve been like this for 5 seconds already, which is 3 seconds longer than a comfortable hug…

“It’s even longer now!” Donghae thought and stepped away.

“Thank you so much!” he said a bit loud and bowed deeply.

“Wow, so official. It’s…”

But Donghae didn’t let the stranger to continue. He left.

He left, trying to figure out whether it was worth it or not.

He left, not knowing what he has gotten himself into.

***

“Hello, Shy Guy!” he heard someone calling him another day (another Monday, to be precise), and he actually recognized the voice.

However, he still panicked a little, noticing it was the same guy who offered free hugs and who he shared the hug with.

It was a bit weird. Sharing the hug with someone whose name he didn’t know. Well, same went to the man in front of him.

“Shy Guy?” he repeated, slapping himself mentally. Were they even supposed to talk? What if the man was going to scold him for an inappropriate behavior?

“I knew the hug lasted too long.”

The man nodded.

“You never told me your name, so Shy Guy you are,” he said with a chuckle. “Going to work?”

Donghae could do nothing but to nod.

“Good luck then,” the stranger winked. “Rock this day.”

He didn’t wait for an answer because someone asked for another hug. Donghae opened his mouth to say something, but shook his head and left while he had a chance.

He stopped a few steps away only to notice the man being busy hugging other people.

“Thank you,” Donghae whispered softly and left once again.

***

Somehow the black-haired man didn’t stop with his wishes that day. Every Monday Donghae could hear him calling the ‘Shy Guy’ and wishing him a nice day. That was weird at first, but became… exciting at some point. Donghae found himself… waiting for every Monday, even though he used to hate Mondays before. That was weird. Really weird.

Even weirder was the fact that he never really cared about how he looks; his only goal was to wear clean and neat clothes and for them to be appropriate. He always styled his hair in the ponytail, however, that morning he kept wondering… will he look better if he won’t do that? If he’ll just brush his long hair and leave it that way?

That’s what he did that day. He didn’t expect the man to notice, but somewhere deep inside he… was hoping for it.

How silly it was. Such a childish, silly behavior. He was far from being naïve, even further from being a teen, yet he acted like one. He felt like one. Don’t get him wrong, he didn’t fall in love with the stranger. He didn’t even know the man’s name, and one hug and a few wishes of a nice day weren’t enough for him to fall in love. Yet… he didn’t know. Donghae just… didn’t feel like that man was nothing but stranger…

He doubted someone could get what he meant, but well, he never told anyone. It wasn’t easy for him to keep something a secret, yet here he was. That free hugs guy was his little secret.

“Whoa, Shy Guy!” he heard that day, and couldn’t help but felt amused. “Come closer, please?”

“What for?” Donghae asked; that was a bit unexpected.

“I want to look at you closer,” the man said with a smile. “New hairstyle? Let me look, let me look!”

He gulped. He gulped, yet moved closer slowly. That was the first time since that day when he actually approached the man. Donghae didn’t come really close though, just close enough for the male to see him better. He felt a bit shy when the man smirked while scanning his face.

“Gorgeous,” he said eventually. “You looked amazing with that ponytail, but this… wow. Can you have this hair every Monday, so I can look at something beautiful?”

Donghae’s eyes widened at this statement.

“I’m afraid you can’t afford this beauty,” he said. “I’m expensive, you know.”

“Wow, you know how to talk back, don’t you? How about me paying you with hugs? That’s the best I can offer.”

Donghae kept looking at him for a while, and eventually he said, “How about you telling me your name? If I’m going to do something for you, I want to know your name at least.”

Now that was the time when the man’s eyes widened for a few seconds.

“Hyukjae,” he replied. “My name is Hyukjae.”

“Okay, Hyukjae,” Donghae tried his best to smile, however, he knew how nervous he looked. Damn, he hasn’t met anyone new (during these circumstances at least) for years, and he really felt like he was just a teenager asking for a number of his crush. “See you next Monday. I’ll see what I can do with my hair.”

He turned around and was ready to leave (Donghae was way too embarrassed to continue that conversation), however, the man, Hyukjae, called for him once again.

“Hey, Shy Guy,” he said. “How about you telling me your name as well?”

“You can’t afford both seeing the beauty and knowing my name. Try to think what you can do about it,” Donghae replied and left in a hurry.

“What the hell did I just say?” he thought to himself. He had some issues with thinking before talking if you haven’t noticed yet.

He absolutely failed to notice Hyukjae’s smile.

“He’s interesting,” the man said to himself before hugging a little girl who came closer.

***

“Why did you choose Mondays for free hugs?” Donghae asked one day while sipping his juice from the package; he somehow became a bit braver and now he came to Hyukjae to talk during his lunch breaks.

“What’s wrong with Mondays?” the man asked.

“Everything. The first day after weekend, everyone is busy even though they don’t want to, and here you are… maybe you could’ve met more people if you were doing this on weekends?”

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LuYu98 #1
Chapter 1: Sometimes it's so nice to read something light) Thank you for this story)
LeeLenaMx #2
Thanks for this sweet sweet story
SingMelodyyy
#3
Chapter 1: My nth time reading this but I still fall in love with Donghae’s character being all clingy and passionate about the people he loves just like how he is in real life 😭 he deserves all the warm hugs in the world and I’m glad hyuk gives the warmest ones 🤗
Kethryveris
#4
Chapter 1: J'adore tes fic, elles sont pleines d'imagination et de tendresse. Merci
lilachortensia #5
Chapter 1: Author, you melted me! :D
Donghae is so pure, Hyukjae is so loving. Can't stop smiling :) Thank you for sharing this!!
Malikresidences
#6
Chapter 1: Oooo so cute!!! I'm crying bc donghae such a baby and hyukjae just— i'm cooing😭🥰
sweetylailai #7
Chapter 1: So cute and fluffly!!!Thumbs up!!!
EunHaekk
#8
Thank you so much for sharing this sweet and heart melting Eunhae fic.
Janusnim08
#9
Chapter 1: Ughh this is so damn cute i'm melted ♥♥ why i can really imagine irl donghae in this, like, his clinginess, the way he talk, think, as he's the purest soul even in his 30+ yo life ㅋㅋ

Also i really love how you portrayed hyukjae's n donghae's character here, they both so precious! The teasing, the flirting, the confession, it made me tingling all over. Oh how i wish i could find my special someone at the least way expected like them too~~ they just simply fell, but uh, reality !
sujudeux
#10
this is sooo cute and fluuuffy ^^ many ppl in real life are not that fond of some affection and i understand donghae's worries and insecurities very well. hyukjae is right, donghae is sooo precious and lovely !! bb deserves the hugs & kisses the world could not give him and hyukjae that is very willing to give him that. aaaa thank you for writing such a fluff fic^^~~