You and I, we belong together. Seulgi, this is why I love you so.

My life began in the time period that would come to be known as the Joseon dynasty, encapsuling almost six centuries of Korean history. The year 1419 was when my mother gave birth to me, during the rule of Sejong the Great. Korea was rich with mountains, blossom trees and hills full of grass so green, gently cascading over the land that kept us fed. Confucianism has been overthrown in current times, but the dream of a paradise where man only needs agriculture to sustain themselves, even now I still find myself longing for a land like that. A journey to the land of peach blossoms. The land where I lived in, before my heart stopped beating for all eternity.

I will admit that is is rather easy to see my country in such a positive light, when I was born in wealth and freedom. My mother was no one less than the king's sister, princess Jeonghye, a faceless woman who passed away five years after bearing me. This left me as a lonely child, worthless and without a title, if the King had not been graceful enough to allow me to take my mother's. Princess Joohyun, growing up in a palace, unseen and merely destined to be wed off when I reached adulthood.

As I began to bloom into a young woman, I was unseen no longer, with my face as porcelain and my elegantly curved lips, ebony black hair and long lashes to frame my mahogany eyes. For my beauty I was desired by many, my silent demeanor mistaken for the obedience of a woman. Many men came for my hand, until even King Sejong caught wind of it. He appointed me a personal guard, for that I will forever be in his debt. Because that guard was you, Kang Seulgi. 

First introduced as a young man, you always wore a halflong red tunic, a brass scale armor on top, black legwear and heavy boots underneath. Never seen without a pointed helmet of iron, that covered most of your eyes from my sight. Following me around wherever I went in complete silence, obeying my every order but never outing a single sound. You were respectful, protective and everything I could have wished for in a companion, except that I wished to see you, the one person who treated me as someone of value. 

As a lady of high standing, it meant that most of my days were spent inside. Luxurious, but endless in it's loneliness and devoid of purpose in life. All that I had was my writing, simple stories and haikus. But with my guard there to get supplies and sometimes sit beside me when I wished him to be, it wasn't so lonely anymore. When I was one day musing above a piece of hanji paper, crosslegged above a small table with you standing beside me, I finally outed my latent desire to see him. 

"Kang, let me see your face. Wearing a helmet is unnecessary when you're merely supervising me inside my own chambers."

"Your Highness, I cannot."

The first time I heard your voice, for it to be refusing a casual order. I put down my wooden pencil and folded my arms, clad in a simple, mint-colored chima jeogori. Using my power over the one person forced to listen, it hurt but part of me wanted to. A princess with no control over her own life, an ugly part of me wanted to control another human being, to have a taste of the power my title was supposed to hold. 

"You heard me."

I heard the breathing below me heave, before at last the sound of a helmet being unclasped and clunkily removed reached my ears. With my lips curled into a satisfied smile, I turned towards my unmasked soldier. Not so much out of urgency as it was out of curiosity, I took his face in for a good few seconds, before I realized he was not a man. No man had such a gently sloped jawline, almond shaped monolidded eyes, lips curved in an elongated heart of rosy pink. It did not take me long to see, that my guard was a woman. Hellbent on preserving the family honor, by acting as a son, instead of a daughter.

You begged me not to out you as such, collapsing onto the floor in a deep bow, as if I was the King himself. You pleaded for your life and it made something snap inside my chest, that I hurt you so. Someone who had only treated me with utmost decency, with kindness that even when forced, brought a smile to my face for the first time in years. How could I not grant you that one promise, to keep a secret?

And so we continued to live side by side, you slept in the room beside mine, separated by only a paper screen. You served me my meals and talked to me comfortably. About your life as a farmer's 'son', how your heartbroken father kept you as their eldest because your mother perished after giving birth, the struggles of the oppressed. How you sent every bit of salary you made as a soldier back to your family, mere bronze coins and sometimes nothing at all. Never again did you put on the helmet, when we were together. 

Over the next few months, I came to have nightly tremors, dreams of the many noblemen who wanted my hand, the countless matchmaking made my head heavy with worries. But whenever I woke up screaming, I was sure to be met by the concerned gaze of my very own handsome guard, softhearted Kang Seulgi who had rushed to my side. On a particular bad night, when the moon gently peeked through my bamboo window screen, you took me by the hand and proposed something wonderful.

"Your Highness, today is a full moon. Do you wish to see it? I know that you miss going outside."

"I...would love that very much, Kang."

After I was dressed, you grabbed my hand once more and led me through the dark palace halls. We eventually escaped through an entrance used by servants who did not sleep in the palace quarters, ending in a field of grass that softly waved in the wind, a hill that descended to the town below Gyeongbokgung palace. I finally saw beyond my living grounds, the mountains far away, the looming ricefields with burbling rivers and roaring waterfalls between them, all lit perfectly by this full moon. You quietly walked ahead, but not down the path that would lead to the town, but to a pathway between the long grass that led further into nature, to the cherry blossom trees I had only seen in paintings. The ground was muddy and you realized my lack of appropiate footwear, I knew what you wanted to ask, but were too ashamed to. I did not have such reservations.

"Kang, carry me."

"A-As you wish, Your Highness."

You were young after all, beneath that sturdy armor was a blushing woman who stumbled on her words, yet you were strong as a man. Arms gently gripping my legs and lower back, I was taken up in the air by you with such ease. It would make any woman squeal, but what I did was much more, I looked you right in the eye and realized how beautiful you were. Not an imperial beauty as I was, but a different kind, handsome and yet so adorably soft. I should not harbor such thoughts, but I did as I leaned my head on your armored chest and allowed you to walk me down the path. 

I was put down after what seemed like an eternity in your arms, we had arrived at an even higher spot of the hill. It was empty with the exception of three cherry blossom trees, one with white and two of them bearing pink flowers. Together they formed a perfect triangle, the small bells tied to their branches resounding in the otherwise silent spot. From here, I could see even more of the landscape but my eyes were on you, as you had taken off your helmet and knelt down, outing your respect for this beautiful place. I smiled at this side of you, a soldier who would apologize for trampling a single flower, someone who wouldn't hurt a fly. 

"Is this place special to you, Kang?"

"It is, Your Highness. I treasure all of nature, but this right here...It almost feels like I've stepped on holy ground."

"There are no gods, Kang. Any trace of a divine hand you see in this world, is because you want to see it."

"Your Highness, with a face like yours, can you still deny the existence of any god? Reduce yourself to mere coincidence?"

"You sound like the men who lust after me, Kang. It is strange, but whenever you open your mouth to speak to me, it is to suggest disobedience or a lack of respect."

"My deepest apologies, Your Highness. I merely wanted to show you this place, as to calm you down. Do you regret coming here?"

I fell silent as she stood up, with a face that was clearly saddened by this conversation. Once again, the guilt of hurting her filled me until a bursting point. Forgetting any difference between our ranks, I walked up to her and spoke to her on equal terms, my hand on hers as she protectively held them together.

"No, never. What you have shown me today, is more beautiful than anything I've seen in my lifetime. Kang- Seulgi, you are the only one who's ever bothered to care for me beyond food, clothes and shelter. You mean more to me than you could know and I should treat you as such. I am sorry."

As I forgot any etiquette between us, so did she. Giving me a wide smile, her monolidded eyes closing and forming two perfect half-suns, to this day I can name no one else with a smile so addictive. Clearly my words of appreciation made her happy, as was I. That was when it began to rain, a nuisance to most, I will forever be grateful to whatever stirred the clouds that night. Because if they had not, perhaps I would never have felt for you what I would come to feel. 

You immediately unclipped the dark brown mantle around your shoulders and held it above my head as we sought shelter underneath the white cherry blossom tree. Sitting down underneath it, huddled up close as the heavens poured down onto your padded mantle, it kept us dry. I was shivering in the growing cold, which was when you gently took my body in your hands and set me onto your lap, arms tightly held around my petite stature. If I had not been warm before, I was boiling now. Without any orders from me, you cared and provided. My heart went pitter patter for you and my cheeks were red as a cherry. Without thinking, I coyly pressed my head onto the crook of your neck and angled my lips to meet yours. It was a moment that needed no introduction, a kiss that was fated for me, the accumulation of my feelings for you, Kang Seulgi. 

It was mutual. Your lips returned my blooming love, opening slightly before your tongue pillaged mine, shyly and yet you dominated me. Two women, uncaring of our status or gender, or rather- We knew exactly what gender we were. History likes to think different ualities were not as common, but that is far from true. They simply needed to be hidden, which is what we did on this hill. Our holy ground, my hands buried in your hair as your heavy breathing muted out the trickling rain, pulling away for air. You spoke to me, with a deep alto that would make any woman light in the head.

"Your Highness... My heart beats for you, but never did I dream to harbor such desires, until you kissed me. From the moment you chose to keep my secret and allowed us to grow this close, I have had these feelings, slowly blossoming inside of me. Is your heart as mine, Joohyun?"

Before I could answer, a laugh filled the air around us, but not from me and not from the woman who confessed her love to me so sweetly. Someone else was there with us, had been there with us for a while, choosing to come out now. As the rain subsided and an ominous silence filled the hill once more, they stepped out. It was a woman, her skin fairer than my own, her hair more luscious and her face would have been beautiful. If it weren't for the scowl that pulled her entire visage in a monstrous light, her eyes that were devoid of pupils, completely red. Hands covered in what could only be blood. Seulgi immediately stood up with her blade raised, committing to her duty to guard me with her life. I was safe, or so I thought. What I now know is that she had no chance. 

"Step aside, soldier. I have no business with you, so run while you can."

"Never, I swore to protect Her Highness. Now, more than ever before."

"Then let these grounds be your grave, unfortunate soul."

You charged, but in vain. Sword connecting with the woman, but shattering upon impact with her chest, the monster was ruthless and with the shards of your own blade, ran a fatal strike through your heart. I screamed, but couldn't move as you fell to the floor, dying in a pool of your own blood. This was your reward for caring about me, for showing me a piece of this beautiful world, for loving me so much that you valued me more than your own life. I got up and on my knees, I crawled through the mud towards you, crying bitter tears when I saw you looked at me with loving eyes. Even as you were choking on your own blood, you wanted to smile at me, to protect me from any pain in this world. But the monster that slaughtered you had no sympathy, stepping in front of me before I could hold you and die in a lover's embrace. With a grin, the woman bared her fangs, gripping me by the neck and forcing me to the ground. 

"A beauty like you, should remain this way for eternity. Don't cry for that soldier of yours, there are so many of them, you should be glad that I've picked you, princess..."

As my lover let out her dying breath, I struggled on the ground with fangs buried in my nape, then my chest, my wrists and my ankles. I was turned into a vampire that day and marked by my maker, a monster who only saw me for my beauty. Just like everyone else would for as long as I lived. Everyone except for you, Seulgi. Out of all of them, you were the one who found a cruel death. Without ever hearing my answer to your question, without me ever reaching you to comfort you in death. If there were any gods as you had outed, they were monsters all the same. 

No, gods weren't to be trusted, but magic was. Throughout the sixhundred years of my life that followed, I discovered that with the help of Sunmi, a witch from the year 1610, who was turned by me in exchange for one thing. That she would conduct a Pagan ritual with your blood, which I had put inside a vial of clay long ago and never as much as drank a drop. It was the least amount of respect I could give to you, even when my thirst for you made my throat burn dry, Seulgi. The ritual was a way to coax out a kind of reincarnation that was unheard of by many, a rebirth of sorts that took up centuries to be utilized. The exact person who the blood belonged to, would be born again, with the same face and the same mind. But in another time and with another future, you would be alive once more.  I had all the time in the world to wait, I said to Sunmi as she drew the runes with your last remains. 

As I waited and waited, the only thing that kept me from becoming as my maker, was the scroll I had drawn of you and I. Your face was once burned into my memory, but over the centuries that passed, even a vampire's mind comes to rust. Around the year 2019, six centuries after my birth, I was assured that Sunmi had failed and I would have killed her for it. Until the day finally came. 

I was bathing by the lake of Deville forest with Sunmi and Taeyeon, a recently born vampire by Sunmi's hand. Sitting on a rock that stuck out of the deep water as I looked at the full moon that night, reminded of my time with the only human I'd ever love. When throughout the trees, I was hit by a scent that sent sparks through every inch of my undead body, familiar and able to summon a hundred memories. My eyes saw a human kneeling on the ground, the face unmistakable. My Kang Seulgi.

However, you had become my mortal enemy, a wolf of all things. I could be satisfied with this turn of events, if it meant you were alive. What I did not account for, was that you had no knowledge of me. Even when I showed you my face, when I came to see you and put my head on your chest as I had before, when my hands touched you as a woman does with their lover. You hated me, Seulgi. 

I was different, that I had to admit, as were you. I was filled with a thirst that if strong enough, cancelled out every bit of humanity left in me. You were a sweet girl, struck by unpleasant surprises you did not wish for. Had I been selfish for loving you? 

I took you to my home, a mansion inside the forest where you laid passed out in my bed until you woke up. I told you my entire story and kissed you, held you in my arms. But you didn't reciprocate this time, opening your mouth to speak words that shattered my entire being.

"You might have been my lover, I might have loved you. But what you have done to me, if it is true...What makes you think you have any right to make me live for you? Irene, Joohyun, it is whatever. Let me go, so I never have to see you again."

Seulgi's hands were careful in shoving her captor away, letting go of the red scroll with her portrait on it, it fell to the ground. She heard nothing and felt nothing, but Irene's words repeating themselves inside her head. Kang Seulgi was nothing more than the outcome of a ritual, she didn't want to know any of this and with the vampire beside her rendered silent, she walked off. Out of the bedroom, through the halls, passing the kitchen where Sunmi and Taeyeon sat, letting her walk by without a word.  There were no words left to say, Seulgi thought as she arrived before the front door and waited for just a second. Contemplating Irene's feelings, everything that had led up to her existence in this current world, she had shattered half a millenium of love. Shaking her head with a deep frown, Seulgi then opened the door and walked out, she owed this woman nothing more from the day she was reborn. 

Stepping outside, she was met by Sunmi and Taeyeon once more, vampires and their endless stalking. If they wanted a fight, Seulgi would happily let them tear her apart if it meant this life would end. But they were not looking at her. They were facing two other women who looked at Seulgi. A woman with silver hair and bright blue eyes,another with halflong blonde locks and deep chocolate brown eyes. Seulgi felt it from the depths of her instincts, they were wolves as well. They had come for her.

"Kang Seulgi, I am Moon Byul-yi, leader of the pack you were born into. Lisa here is your sibling. We have come to bring you back home."

I really never got your answer, princess.

Author's note
This is Irene's backstory, her reason for loving Seulgi. I hope you all enjoyed this and are alright with the pace in which I take things. Next chapter will be Seulgi's introduction to the tribe of werewolves, as well as their explanation for putting her up for adoption in the first place. Lisa is her sister, thought it would be a nice way to introduce some BlackPink in the story. Feel free to request other idols, preferably girls. Please sent some criticism or loving comments my way, I appreciate all of them. See you in the next chapter!