September 1993

             The grass beneath the small boy sitting in the front yard was soft and lush green. A few paces toward the house was a large flower garden his Ma worked really hard on almost every evening and there was an oak tree near the sidewalk inside of the white picket fence around the yard. There was a loud rumble coming down the street that caused him to look up from his stuffed bear and toy airplane. The truck was white with big blue letters down the side that he couldn’t read just yet. It slowed down enough and pulled into the driveway next door. Curiously he turned his head to where his Mom was sitting on the porch swing reading. “Why’s there a truck, Mom?” 

             Her long brown hair shifted as she lifted her head, smiling sweetly as she found her son before glancing over at the truck. “It seems we have new neighbors, Jinki.” 

             “Like Miss Pam?” 

             “Maybe. It could very well be a family.” She closed her book softly, placing it on the table beside her before gracefully taking the four steps down from the large front porch. She kneeled in the grass beside him, smiling brightly when he handed over his bear for her to play with. “Wouldn’t you like having another kid to play with?”

             “Kids take toys.” He grumbled, remembering the other children at pre-school who would take his things and he’d have to run behind and gather them once they grew tired of them. 

             “Sometimes people take things without permission, but you just have to stand up for yourself Baby.” She ran her long fingers through his mop of hair, leaning close to press a kiss on top of it before she quietly asked, “Do you want to go meet them? It looks like the owners just pulled up.” 

             He followed her arm, a little distracted with the way the blue fabric of her shirt fluttered in the wind, before finding the car that had pulled up along the curb directly in front of their own house. There was a very tall man standing outside the car and a bundle wrapped tightly against his chest that Jinki couldn’t recognize. “Carry me?”

             He looked up at her with big eyes and sweet smile, holding his arms up a little. She sighed quietly as she stood, quickly scooping him up and swinging him around to her hip. With a huff, she settled him. “You’re getting way too big for this, Baby.” 

             He laid his head on her shoulder and curled his fingers in the soft fabric of her shirt, mumbling as she walked across their lawn towards the fence and the man. “No.” 

-----

             “Shh Taemin, no need to wake up Sweetie.” He quietly cooed at his infant son wrapped against his chest. He was only a few months old, chubby cheeks squished and little lips parted as his face scrunched as he shifted. He shut the door and fished the keys out of his pocket to lock it. As he began to walk down the sidewalk to his own driveway he heard a soft voice to his right.

             “Hello! Are you moving in?” 

             Standing there was a young woman, her long hair gathered over one shoulder. In her arms was a toddler with dark hair, shyly trying to hide in the woman’s neck. “I am. I’m Jaeho Lee. This is my son Taemin.”

             “I’m Chanri Lee and this is Jinki and we just wanted to welcome you into the neighborhood.” Her smile was warm and bright, eyes crinkling a little as she jostled the toddler, Jinki he remembered, to adjust him on her hip. “If you need anything feel free to come and ask. I or my wife Hyejoo would be happy to help you.” 

             His fear of not being accepted in this neighborhood for being biual and possibly bringing home another man lessened a little learning one of his next-door neighbors were a pair of lesbians with a son. “Thank you. I might take you up on that.” 

             The boy in her arms pushed up, little hand cupping in front of her ear as he leaned in to whisper to her. Whatever he said caused her to quietly laugh. He rose his eyebrows when Chanri looked at him. “That wasn’t very nice Baby.” 

             “What did he say, if you don’t mind me asking?”

             She pressed her plump lips together into a thin line before quietly saying, “He called your son a tater tot.”

             Jinki’s little brows were furrowed as he whined. “Mommy! That was a secret!”

             “I’m sorry Baby.”

             “It’s alright Little Jinki. He does kind of look like a tater tot.” As he spoke a small smile appeared on the boy’s face. 

             “Now I think Mr. Lee needs to get back to moving in. What do we say, Jinki?” 

             “Bye-bye Mr. lee!” 

             “Bye-bye Jinki.” He smiled warmly, “And you too Chanri.” 

             “Welcome to the neighborhood.” As the woman turned to walk back up her yard, Jinki was waving his little hand over his mom’s shoulder. 

-----

             Jinki glanced up from his spot on the fluffy carpet in front of the unlit fireplace when he heard the doorbell ring. His mothers had told him many times to never open the door for anyone, but as the ringing continued and neither one of them appeared in the archway, his curiosity got the better of him. After dropping the two red blocks in his hands, and climbing up the couch using the small step stool placed on the far end just for him, he pushed the white, lace-trimmed curtains behind it to peer out between the blinds. The old couch was easier to climb, but the new one brought into the house recently gave him issues gripping anything to climb. His mommies had told him he would grow big enough to climb it soon, but that being small for his age was alright too. Standing there holding open their glass screen door was Mr. Lee from next door. It was then he noticed the wailing coming from the same area.

             Scrunching his nose he slipped from the couch and stood at the base of the steps on the circular rug just to the left of the front door, careful with his steps because he learned very quickly socks are slippery on his Ma’s shiny floors. “Ma! Mom!”

             As quick as he had finished calling them his Ma was turning the corner down the hallway in front of him, eyes wide and light hair falling from the small ponytail she had attempted to keep it in. A moment later his Mom was quickly taking the steps, worry etched into her pretty features. A chorus of Baby and Sweetie bombarded him. Jinki huffed as he pointed toward the little window on the front door. “Mr. Lee is here. ‘m Fine.” 

             He was scooped up quickly by his Mom as his Ma stepped forward to answer the door. Mr. Lee’s face was just as red as the tater tot in his arms. He looked almost as if he was going to cry. “I apologize for just abruptly coming over but Chanri offered help if I needed it and-”

             His Mom shifted him on her hip as she stepped a little closer. “What’s the matter?” 

             “He hasn’t stopped crying since he woke up from his nap and I don’t know what’s wrong. I’ve changed his diaper and attempted to feed him. I thought maybe you’d know since,” Jinki hid his face into his Mom’s neck when the attention turned to him for a moment. 

             The soft melody of his Ma’s voice made him peek from his Mom’s neck. “Let me see him.” As the tater tot was passed over his Ma hissed quietly. “He’s burning up. Babe, can you get the thermometer?” 

             Before Jinki knew it he was being placed on the ground once again and being gently pushed with a warm hand toward the living room. “Go play with your blocks, Baby.” 

             “But Mom-”

             She ran her neatly trimmed nails through his hair, kneeling quickly. “Ma and I need to help Mr. Lee. Taemin is sick. We have what he needs to get better.”

             “Get better kisses are mine.” He crossed his arms, pouting deeply as he scowled up at the adults in the room.

             “They are.” She kissed his chubby cheek before smiling. “Go on. Give me a few minutes and I’ll have your snack.” 

             “Celery and peanut butter, please!” 

------

             As Jinki munched on his celery stick his Ma had dipped in his cup of peanut butter for him, he glanced through the mesh of the playpen curiously. He turned to the group of adults sitting around the sectional and quietly asked, “Did you find the off button?” 

             “We did Baby.” His Mom reached over to gently wipe his cheek, “Try to get the peanut butter in your mouth Sweetie.” 

             “It’s messy.” Once he was finished with his last celery stick he stood in front of his Mom to be cleaned off softly with the wipe, shaking and twisting from her grip when she wasn’t done quickly enough. He still thought Taemin looked like a tater tot as he passed him to get to his dollhouse against the far wall, but he supposed he was alright now that he wasn’t being loud. The off button seemed very hard to find so he hoped he didn’t turn on any time soon. 

------

             Chanri was gazing at her son across the room when Jaeho spoke to her left. She sipped her cup of tea and smiled over the rim as it was lowered. “Your son is very adorable.”

             Hyejoo grinned almost proudly, voice soft as she brought her legs up from the floor, bunny slippers falling from them as she lifted her limbs. “He’s our little booger alright.” 

             “He likes to use how cute he is to his advantage.” Chanri chuckled lightly as she recalled, “He’s starting to master the Puppy eyes and learning who to ask for what. Apparently, I’m the one to go to if he wants a cookie before dinner.” 

             “And I’m the one to ask to push back nap time.” Hyejoo reached over without looking to intertwine their fingers, both looking over at Jaeho curiously. They had seen him in passing the last month or so as the leaves on the trees began to fall and temperatures began to plummet, but neither knew much about him. “I’m guessing he’s your first?” 

             A pink rouge colored his cheeks as he looked down for a moment before catching her gaze. “That obvious?” 

             With a little laugh, Chanri nodded and softly placing her cup on the table by stretching to push the tiny saucer with a few of her fingers. “You had that panicked parent look about you.”

             “I only found out I was a father when I opened my front door on July 20th, two days after he was born. He had a birth certificate and a letter pushed into the side of the basket, but that was it. I wasn’t with his mother and getting sprung with a baby caused my boyfriend at the time to leave me. Apparently, he wasn’t ready to be a father without warning.”

             “Either were you,” Hyejoo commented quietly, smiling when he focused on her. 

             “Thank you again for everything. You handled your new neighbor almost sobbing on your porch with astounding grace.” 

             “While not the same, we understand that having a child is difficult and sometimes you need help. I had my wife. You have us. Babysitting, tips, just to vent about a throwing up toddler at three in the morning,” Chanri cracked a smile as he laughed. “I hope Jinki learns to call him anything other than tater tot.” 

             “I don’t know, I kind of like it.” Jaeho smiled, fingers tapping on the outside of his own mug in his lap. “Like Taemin, without the min. Taeter tot.” 

             Both women snorted, but it was Hyejoo who spoke. “I don’t think he’s thought that through.” 

------

             With how well Taemin was sleeping, Hyejoo asked Jaeho if he wished to stay for dinner, which he happily agreed. Jinki was very happy with his chicken his Ma cut up for him, even if he spent most of the meal staring at the adults at the table curious and missing his mouth the first few times he lifted his fork up. Just as the food was about to be done a wail pierced the air and Jinki dramatically sighed. “Be quiet.”

             Both of his mothers whipped their heads toward him, scolding on their lips, but it was his Ma who spoke. “Jinki, that’s rude.” 

             “Shut up is rude. You say be quiet all the time.” He frowned down at his sippy cup, realizing he was out of juice. “More juice please.” He wasn’t sure who got up to get him more, but when it was handed back to him he still mumbled, “Thankie.” 

             He squinted over his sippy cup, trying to figure out why it was so hard for Mr. Lee to find the off button. His Ma seemed to find it alright enough and it couldn’t be more difficult than the TV remote. Eventually, the tater tot stopped wailing, and Mr. Lee sighed in relief. “That’s it Taemin.” 

             “Find the off button, Mr. Lee?” 

             The man lifted his gaze from the baby in his arms which he was feeding with a bottle to smile warmly at Jinki. “I did indeed.” 

             Through her chuckles, his Ma softly commented, “It’s almost time to find your off button, Sweetie.” 

             “But!”

             “No buts Baby.” Before he could protest further he was being tugged from his chair. “Will you help me clean up your toys?” 

             “Can I keep my juice?” He asked as he lifted his right hand still gripping his cup of apple juice.

             “Yes.” He rubbed at his eye, yawning slightly and smacking his mouth as he squinted out at the living room. As he was set down in the middle his Mom quietly reminded him, “The quicker we clean the quicker we can go play in the bath.” 

             “Bubbles?” 

             “Maybe. If you’re very fast.” 

             He shoved his sippy cup into her hand with a serious expression. “Please hold Mom.” 

             It was barely in her grip before he was moving to pick up his blocks to put them into the bin next to his dollhouse. 

----

             Jinki sat in his Mom’s lap on his bed, playing with the pages of the book he had chosen off his shelf as she brushed his hair. “Mommy?” 

             The brush stopped moving across his head as she asked, “Yes, Baby?”

             “Is the tater tot coming again?”

             “He might. You might go over to Mr. Lee’s as well.”

             “Why? He has trouble finding off buttons.” 

             His Mom’s arms wrapped around him softly, tugging him back into a hug and a kiss was pressed to his hair with a little chuckle. “You know how Grandma comes over on Wednesdays?”

             Jinki turned his head a little to look at her then. “You go on mommies dates.” 

             “That’s right.” She paused when the door to his room opened to show her wife, before swaying a little with Jinki still in her embrace. “Sometimes Grandma can’t make it and Mr. Lee has offered to watch you when we have our mommy dates.” 

             “But Grandma brings me cookies.” 

             “Jinki, you like Grandma coming over for more than what she gives you, right?” His Ma had come over to pick the book up that had slid from his hands, voice light and teasing.

             He wiggled away from his Mom, climbing over her thigh over onto the rest of the bed, annoyed with the amount of affection he was getting. Falling back into his pillows he beamed up at his mothers. “Storytime?” 

             His mothers shared a soft look before his Ma sat on the other side of the bed, back against the pillows with Jinki to her right, and the book placed on her thigh. “You first?”

             “Yes Please.” 

-----

             About a month later Jinki found himself standing on Mr. Lee’s porch, hiding behind his Ma’s legs clutching the small dinosaur backpack his Mom had helped him pack that afternoon after picking him up from preschool. The door opened slowly and Jinki could see Mr. Lee from the one eye peeking around his Mom. The man kneeled with a sweet smile. “Hey, Little Jinki. You ready to hang out with me?”

             Jinki looked up at his mothers, taking another step behind his Mom in response. A hand reached down to ruffle his hair as his Ma spoke, “Come on Sweetie. You’ll have a great time. Mr. Lee has lots of books.”

             He lowered his backpack a little and quietly asked, “Books?”

             Mr. Lee was still smiling as he nodded, “So many. Have you ever read a comic book?”

             “Does it have pictures?”

             Jinki found that he rather liked Mr. Lee’s laugh. It reminded him of the dads in the movies his Ma really liked watching. “It’s all pictures, Little Jinki.” 

             “Alright.” Slowly he stepped around his Mom and held out his hand for Mr. Lee to take. As he hopped up the step into the house, he turned to his mothers. “Be good.” 

             He was sure he heard them start to laugh after he was given a kiss on each cheek, but then he was focusing on the way Mr. Lee said he had snacks for him. Jinki liked snacks a whole lot.

-----

             After dinner Jinki was taken up to the room Mr. Lee kept all of his books. He had never seen so many shelves and books other than the library he was taken to. Near the big window was a spot to sit and as Mr. Lee turned to get a comic book Jinki climbed up onto the thick cushions, plopping back and bringing a pillow over his legs. “Do you like superheroes?”

             “Like Wonder Woman?”

             “Yes. How do you know her?”

             “My mommies really like her. Said Superman was over something.” 

             Mr. Lee’s laughter was muffled with how he was kneeling with his back toward Jinki, but soon he was lifting from the drawer and walking over. The Tater tot had been put down for a nap shortly before dinner, which meant Mr. Lee’s attention was all his. “Overrated?”

             “Yeah!” As Mr. Lee sat beside him Jinki’s enthusiasm decreased, softly asking, “What’s that mean, Mr. Lee?” 

             “Overrated means something is given more worth than it deserves.” 

             It was then Jinki noticed the comic book in Mr. Lee’s hands. “Whoa, is it really all pictures?” 

             He quickly flipped through it to show Jinki the pages with a fond smile. “All pictures. With words, but mostly pictures.”

             “I like pictures.” 

             “Take a look,” Jinki was surprisingly gentle with it, but he was still reminded, “Just be careful. The pages are delicate.” 

             “Okay got it. Gentle, like with animals.” Then the walkie talkie looking device began to scream and Jinki jumped a little in his spot. “I think your machine is broken, Mr. Lee.” 

             “That would be Taemin. I'll be right back Jinki.”

             Once Mr. Lee was through the door Jinki flipped open the comic book in his hands, softly grumbling. “Tater tots are very loud.” 

------

             When it was time for Jinki to go home only his Ma came over to pick him up. She found him curled up on the recliner, thumb in his mouth and eyes fighting to stay open. Hyejoo smiled as she walked into the living room. “It seems you knocked him out.”

             Jaeho leaned against the archway, arms across his chest as he watched her walk over to her son. “We had fun.” 

             Hyejoo kneeled, running her hand over Jinki’s hair, laughing slightly as he smiled around his thumb at the sight of her. “Hey, Sweetie. Did you have fun with Mr. Lee?” 

             “Mm, much fun.” It was a little muffled with his thumb still in his mouth, but as he was picked up and nuzzled into Hyejoo’s shoulder, his hand lowered. His eyes were half-open as he softly said, “Mr. Lee got better finding off buttons. I’m proud.” 

             Jaeho snorted, “I’m happy you approve.” 

             “Goodnight Mr. Lee. I had fun.” 

             “Glad to hear it Little Jinki.” 

             Jinki was already asleep before Hyejoo even made it to the door, but she quietly gave her thanks as Jaeho handed her the dinosaur backpack. 

------

August 1995

             As of late, Mr. Lee had dropped off Taemin at least three days a week and no matter what Jinki did the two-year-old wouldn’t leave him alone. He didn't mind playing with him, not really, but he was used to being an only child in most senses of the word. Having a younger boy following him around was a lot more like having a sibling that he was willing to admit he liked. Taemin liked to move his things to play with and just leave them on the floor in random places. It took Jinki so much time to find his toys when they weren’t in his toy box or where he left them.

             Currently, Taemin’s favorite pastime was knocking over Jinki’s dominos before he was ready for them to be. When Mr. Lee had dropped him off, Jinki had already been sitting at the coffee table on his knees setting up the little domino blocks in a line carefully. Working from the middle and swirling them out as it got bigger and bigger. “Taemin do you want to knock it over?”

             The little boy looked over the display with big eyes, chubby fingers splayed on the edge of the table. “Go boom?” 

             “Yeah. Just knock this one over.” Jinki pointed to the last domino and smiled when Taemin began to reach over to inspect what he was referring to. “Yes, just push it over.” 

             Except for right when it looked like he was going to follow instructions he turned with the biggest smile on his face and smashed his arms against the middle of the design, scattering them all over the table and the floor. Jinki thought about all the times his mommies told him to be nice and use his inside voice as he moved to collect the dominos that had tumbled under the couch and table. When Taemin began to knock them over each time he got a few in a line, it was getting harder and harder to be nice about it. “I’m not finished yet Taeter. Let me finish.” 

             “Smash!” He happily giggled. “Go boom.” 

             Jinki collected what dominos he could throw into the box quickly and pushed off the ground to go sit at the dining room table. He felt the frustration building and he was removing himself from the situation like his Mom told him to do when something was bothering him too much. His Ma was in the kitchen just to the right of him starting to make lunch and she smiled sweetly at him when she heard him padding into the room. “Everything okay, Sweetie?”

             “Taemin keeps knocking down my dominos.”

             “You loved knocking things over when you were his age.” 

             “I guess. It still makes me mad.”  He figured it was high enough Taemin wouldn’t follow him but then he saw the chair to the left of him moving. Trying his hardest, the two-year-old was able to pull himself up onto the chair, smacking his hands onto the table causing the few dominos already stood up to fall over. Just as quickly as they fell, his anger lashed out and his voice rose. “I wasn’t finished! Stop touching them you waddling potato!” 

             It was like the house stopped moving. Taemin’s bottom lip was quivering, nose beginning to sniffle, as time moved slowly before he let out a wail. Jinki fussed with him, trying to get him to stop crying, but it was useless as his Ma put her knife down and rushed over to scoop Taemin up. She was glaring down at Jinki as she patted the back of Taemin’s head. “You shouldn’t yell, Jinki.”

             “He kept messing it all up!”

             “He doesn’t know any better. You do.” She sighed as she bounced Taemin lightly. “You have to apologize.”

             “No.”

             Hyejoo blinked down at him, “Excuse me?”

             Jinki crossed his arms, lifting his chin to look up at her. “I didn’t do anything wrong.”

             “I don’t remember asking you what you thought. You yelled at Taemin for playing in the only way he knows. You know we don’t yell in this house out of anger.” She carefully sat in the chair Taemin had been in, setting him on her thigh. “Now apologize to him. And mean it.” 

             “I’m sorry.” He grumbled out, arms crossed over his chest and gaze off to the right toward the dominos on the table.

             “Jinki Lee.” His Ma warned sternly.

             “Fine.” Jinki sighed, “I’m sorry I yelled at you Taemin.”

             Taemin rubbed at his eye with a tiny fist, nose still sniffling, but his crying was starting to dwindle. Hyejoo grinned before letting Taemin onto the ground and ruffling Jinki’s hair as she walked back. “That’s better. Play nice. You have to remember he’s learning how to human right now.” 

             Jinki flicked his eyes from the scattered dominos to Taemin before sighing. When he spoke again he smiled, “Do you want to hear a story?”

             “Book?” 

             “Yeah.”

             “Yes.”

             Jinki took his offered hand and grinned when he heard his Ma call out after him from the kitchen as they took the steps to his room. “You need to clean these up, Jinki!” 

             “I will Ma!” He barely finished yelling back down before Taemin was running toward his bed causing him to rush after to make sure the toddler didn’t hurt himself climbing up onto his big boy bed. “Wait up Taeter.” 

------

              Jaeho followed Hyejoo up the stairs and to the right of the landing toward the half ajar bedroom door labeled with foam letters as Jinki’s. As she pushed open the door all the way, their sons were seen sprawled out over Jinki’s bed. Taemin was curled up using Jinki’s tummy as a pillow and hugging the stuffed dinosaur the older boy had given him a few months ago. Both were fast asleep, cheeks squished and soft snores filling the room. Hyejoo looked over as Jaeho came further into the room, whispering to make sure the boys didn’t wake up. “He can sleep over if you don’t want to wake him up.” 

             “No, no he’s been here far too long as it is.” He walked around the bed and pushed his arms under Taemin. Everything was still and serene until Taemin began to wake up. A wail pierced the serenity of the bedroom and no matter what Jaeho did, the toddler would not quiet down. “Taemin, please. You’ll wake up Jinki.”

             “Too late,” Jinki mumbled, rubbing his left eye with his knuckle as he pushed himself up with the other hand. “What’s wrong with Taeter?” 

             “Jinnie,” Taemin whined, hands reaching out with wiggling fingers toward the boy on the bed still half asleep. 

             Jaeho looked over when Hyejoo laid her hand on his arm. She smiled as she gestured toward the bed. “Humor me. Put him back.” 

             Once Taemin was back on the bed, he rubbed at his eyes for a moment before realizing where he was and scrambled up toward Jinki by the pillows. He had his dinosaur in one arm and tugging Jinki back down between hiccups. It was then Jinki lifted his gaze back to the two adults and asked, “Can he sleepover?” 

             “I suppose he’s chosen that for himself.” Jaeho fondly shook his head with a laugh before giving in and turning to Hyejoo, “Are you sure it’s alright?” 

             “Chanri doesn’t work tomorrow. I don’t think she’ll mind.” 

             “Then alright.” Jaeho walked around the bed once again to press a kiss to Taemin’s hair. “Goodnight Baby. Be good for them, alright? I’ll come to get you after lunch.” 

             “Bye Daddy,” Taemin mumbled, eyes starting to flutter closed just as he shoved his thumb into his mouth. 

             Jinki looked down at his little friend before wiggling back down fully. He grinned when his Ma came over to kiss his cheek. “Goodnight Sweetie.”

             “Night Ma. Love you!” 

             Hyejoo warmly smiled as she started to close the door, turning off the big light on her way out. “I love you too.”

------

Early October 1997

             Jinki’s sleeping bag was still rolled up by the door. Taemin claimed his new big boy bed was large enough for them to sleep on like Jinki’s next door, but the older boy thought he’d bring it just in case.  His mothers had taken the opportunity to go to some play the college was putting on. He recalls it being about something Greek or Roman, but nothing more than that as it was not something he was interested in. Taemin is showing him the fish in the tank his Dad had set up that weekend when Jinki hears the raised voice coming from the kitchen. He looks away from the brightly colored fish swimming just by their hands on the glass to Taemin, but the boy already has his head down. “Daddy is having boy problems. Or that’s what he told me. Been happening for a while.”

             “And he yells like that?”

             “Not all the time, but many.” Taemin shrugged before looking up with a bright smile, “Wanna play legos?” 

             Jinki flinches as the volume of the yelling increases as Taemin’s Dad moves through the house. “Do you want to go see my treehouse?”

             Taemin rocked on the balls of his feet, little hands twisting in front of him as he looked between the archway leading to his dad and Jinki. “But Daddy says I’m not allowed to leave.” 

             “You come to my house all the time and besides, he’s on the phone.” Jinki bit his bottom lip, looking to make sure Mr. Lee wasn’t going to come through the door. “I don’t like the yelling, Taeter, and we can sleepover in my treehouse. It’s not too cold out or anything.” 

             “Okay! Just let me get my dinosaur and blanket.”

             “Alright, I’ll be waiting for you right here.”

             As Taemin disappeared to the left to go up the stairs Mr. Lee popped his head into the room, the phone pulled away from his ear slightly as he softly asked Jinki, “Where’s Taemin?”

             “Getting his blanket Mr. Lee.” The man nodded before returning back to his conversation and Jinki hoped he missed how he grimaced. A few moments later Taemin came shuffling in, blanket wrapped around his tiny shoulders and dinosaur he’s had since he was two held tightly between his arms. “Ready?”

             “Are you sure this is okay?”

             “I don’t see why not. We aren’t going anywhere dangerous and it’s right next door.”

             Taemin let his left hand fall from his dinosaur to curl around Jinki’s with a big smile. “Then let’s go see the treehouse.” 

------

             Using the flashlight Jinki’s Ma had put in his sleepover bag just in case, they sat in the bean bags and ate out of the sandwich bags packed for them. They only had a juice pouch each, but playing Connect four allowed them to not focus so much on that. The moon was high in the sky, lighting up the treehouse with a decent amount of light through the window behind Taemin. He wasn’t sure what time it was when he heard what he believed to be his parents' voices, but the tone was one he was sure he had never heard before. They sounded scared.

             A few moments later the latch just to the right of them opened and before either of them could fully move away, there, illuminated by a lantern was his Mom. “Oh, sweet Jesus.” She climbed the rest of the way, shouting down below. “I found them.”

             Jinki was tugged roughly into a tight hug, his Mom’s face pressed into his neck. His arms flapped awkwardly beside him as she pulled away and reflecting in the light were tears falling from her face as he cupped his. “Mom, what’s wrong? Why are you crying?” 

             “We thought you were lost, Baby. You scared us.” 

             “But I didn’t think I did anything wrong.” 

             “You didn’t tell Mr. Lee where you two were going. He came into the living room to find you missing. He called us frantic at the restaurant.” She ran her hands over his hair, breath rough and fingers shaking. “You know better than to come out here without telling the adult in the house.” 

             “Mr. Lee was yelling over the phone and I didn’t like it, but I didn’t want to leave Taemin; because we’re supposed to be having a sleepover, so we came over here because I thought it wasn’t bad, because it was just over to our house like we’re always at.” He huffed quickly as he finished, scared that his parents were going to be mad at him or worse, Mr. Lee at Taemin. “I’m sorry, Mom.” 

             “Oh Baby, It’s okay. We’re just glad you’re both okay.” She pressed a kiss to his forehead before turning to Taemin with a soft smile, “Come on down. We’ll clean this all up later.” 

             She went down first and then Jinki, but he went slowly to make sure that Taemin could make it down the ladder okay in the dim light of the back patio light. As soon as both of them were on the ground they were tugged into tight hugs. Jinki vaguely registered his Mom pulling away and asking Mr. Lee if they could talk, but he focused on the way Taemin was left alone hugging his arms around himself. He looked up at his Ma then and quietly asked, “Can Taemin and I go inside Ma?”

             “Of course, Sweetie. The back door is open.”

             He had his arm around Taemin’s thin shoulders when he turned to ask, “Will you help me make hot chocolate?”

             She pressed her lips together before sighing, “Alright. But we still need to talk about this Baby.”

             “I know, Ma.”

------

March 1998

             Jinki stood at the bottom of the ladder leading up to his treehouse watching to make sure Taemin made it all the way up without falling. They hadn’t been out here much in the treehouse with all the snow and falling temperatures, but with the sun shining bright above them and the snow all melted, both were ecstatic to be allowed up here again. Once the boy was safe up through the hole, Jinki followed quickly after. He found Taemin standing a few steps from the hole, looking around the place with his lips parted and his eyes wide. “It looks so cool now.”

             “Mom helped me put battery-powered lights up. It looks really cool at night.” He wiggled the door over the hole, latching it properly like his Ma had shown him before plopping back in the nearest bean bag chair.  With a little stretching, he managed to pull over his backpack. The container with a few cookies his Mom had given him was on the top of his folders from school. Once the top was off, he offered them over to the boy. “Want one?” 

             “Daddy told me no cookie before food.” 

             Jinki grinned. “Is your Daddy here right now Taeter?” 

             Taemin’s bottom lip was pulled through his teeth, little fingers twisting in his shirt for a moment before he was reaching out for one, crumbs falling from his lips as he talked with his mouth full. “No.” 

             “Plus dinner is in like 3 hours.” The container was placed on the small table against the wall behind them before Jinki pulled out his red folder for math.

             “What’s that?”

             “Math Homework. We started long division this week.” 

             “Division?” 

             “It’s when you take a number and divide it by another like, if you have 4 and divide it by 2, it’s 2.” 

             “So like minus?” 

             “Subtraction?” Taemin nodded enthusiastically. “In a way. A step up from that.”

             “Oh,” Taemin flopped back in the other bean bag and squished his cheek with his fist as he leaned against it. “I don’t like this… homework.”

             He looked over at the boy with a laugh. “Secret is, no one does Taeter.” 

             “Question.”

             “Answer.”

             “Will my dance class have this... Homework?” 

             Jinki hummed, “I suppose, but it’d probably just be more dancing. And you like dancing.” 

             “Maybe.”

------

             Jinki glanced up from the post-it note he found stuck on the inside of his backpack. It was from his mothers telling him they loved him when he felt Taemin lift his hand and slide something onto his finger. They had just finished playing with the giant cloth checkerboard, and Taemin having lost had to put it away back into the bag. He had expected the boy to still be across the way putting the said bag away. If he wasn’t 100 percent positive that the hatch on the floor hadn’t moved, he’d have been a lot more startled. On his second finger from the left was a red ring pop and when he looked up at Taemin the boy was grinning from ear to ear. Jinki stuck the post-it back on his backpack without looking as he asked. “What is this for?” 

             “Marry me.”

             Jinki stared at him, “You’re 4.” 

             “Yeah, but Daddy says you gotta marry your best friend and that you gotta jump on it.” Taemin was rocking on the balls of his feet, hands wringing in front of him. “So will ya?” 

             With a smile, Jinki laughs and jokingly agrees. “Sure Taeter. I’ll marry you.” 

------

             About an hour later they were called in by Taemin’s dad for Sunday family dinner they had every week. Jinki had forgotten about the candy ring on his finger until his Mom mentioned in as he carried the mashed potatoes to the table.  As much as they both enjoyed traditional Korean cooking, his mothers had tried to give him what they liked to call ‘American culture’ to help him fit in at school. “I didn’t think you liked Cherry.” 

             He looked up as he took his seat, before realizing what his Mom meant. “Oh, I don’t usually. Taemin gave it to me.”

             Just then Taemin chirped from his seat beside Jinki. “He’s gonna be my wife.” 

             Everyone at the table abruptly turned toward Taemin’s father as he coughs loudly, struggling to put his wine glass on the table and speak to them. “He’d be your husband, Sweetie.” 

             Taemin stops gyrating in his seat to look up at Jinki’s mothers. “They’re married and they say wife!” 

             Jinki could feel the heat rising as his mothers' laughter caused his embarrassment to increase. “If that’s what you want. I’ll be your wife.”

             “It is.” The boy deemed before shoving his face with a spoonful of mashed potatoes, effectively ending the conversation much to Jinki’s delight. “So ‘ood.”

             “What did I say about talking with food in your mouth?” 

             Taemin frowned after swallowing. “To not. It’s rude. Sorry, Daddy.”

             Jinki smiled softly when Taemin glanced over at him and almost immediately the boy relaxed again to focus on his food.  The conversation turned to homework assignments, preschool adventures, and eventually, things that happened at their parents’ work. His Mom updated with what she could on this case she had been working on for a few weeks, while his Ma discussed this prominent recruit she was sure she was about to receive for the upcoming season. Taemin’s Dad told funny stories about his students including the ongoing saga of the girl who insisted penguin was spelled Pengwin no matter how many times she was corrected or references she was shown. 

             By the time Taemin and his Father left it was way past dark and Jinki had to climb the ladder up to the treehouse for his backpack in the light of his Mom’s flashlight. Before he was allowed to watch the Little Mermaid like he wanted to, his mothers had to check that his homework was complete and sign his plan book. Once it was verified he rushed out of the kitchen like a rocket, sprawling out on the couch to wait for one of them to change the channel for him.

------

             “Hey Mommies?” 

             Both women turned toward his voice, the television muting as they looked over the back of the couch. Both looked concerned, but his Mom was the one who spoke. “What are you still doing up Baby?” 

             “Um,” He lifted up the ring pop in his hand. “I wanted to save this and I couldn’t reach the containers.” 

             The women shared a smile before his Ma detangled herself from the blankets, leading him into the kitchen and getting a small one from the middle shelf. She kissed his head before smiling. “Now off to bed, hon. You have school tomorrow.” 

             “Thanks, Ma. Goodnight.” As he walked toward the steps he called out, “Goodnight Mom!”

             “Goodnight Baby, sweet dreams.” His bare feet padded up to the steps quietly, the little container grasped between both hands as he pushed open his bedroom door with his foot. Once he was sure the top was fully placed, he set it on the bookshelf he put his action figures and legos on. He wasn’t sure if Taemin would even remember proposing to him, but it served as a reminder the little boy thought of him as his best friend. He’d keep it as long as he could if only for that reason. 

             He climbed up into his bed, wiggled under the covers and smacked his palm against his lamp beside his bed. His mothers would be up eventually to check if he was really sleeping and he didn’t want to be caught awake again. 

-----

March 2000

             The bus half bounced down the road, the driver going way too fast in Jinki’s opinion, as he watched the trees fly by the window. He wanted to press his forehead against the cool glass, but each attempt left him with a headache. He wasn't paying attention to what was going on in the rest of the bus until he felt Taemin jostle roughly beside him. The five-year-old boy was up on his knees, turned toward the back of the bus, the tips of his ears were turning red as he wagged his finger angrily at the kids behind him. Jinki reached over to gently touch his elbow and smiled when Taemin’s head whipped towards him. “Taeter, what’s wrong?” 

             “They’re being mean!” 

             Jinki pushed up a little to peek over the back of the seat. The two kids sitting behind them seemed to be more around his age than Taemin’s. As he sat back down, he asked, “What did they say?” 

             “Stuff about your moms,” Taemin mumbled, shifting to sit on his once again. His eyes were downcasted toward his lap as he said. “And they called me Taeter.”

             “You don’t need to protect me, Taemin. I’m more than familiar with the harsh things kids can say about my moms.” Jinki nudged him softly with his elbow to make Taemin look at him. “And I call you Taeter all the time. What’s so wrong with that?”

             “They aren’t you.” 

             Jinki lifted his arm and Taemin shifted over into the embrace. His voice was barely heard over the rumble of the bus and the volume of the children around them, “Aren’t you just a tiny knight in shining armor. Protecting your wife’s honor.” 

             “Damn right.”

             “Taemin!” 

             The boy just giggled. 

------

             “Are you going to come to my dance competition?” Jinki turned his head to look at Taemin as he spoke. Their legs were resting against the back of the couch, heads against the cushions, and feet wiggling in the air. 

             “Depends. When is it?” 

             “I’m not sure, but I have a solo this time and I really want you to be there.” 

             Jinki tossed a throw pillow against Taemin’s stomach and giggled when the boy flailed a little. “I’ll try my best Taeter.” 

             Pleased, Taemin went back to trying to reach his feet with his legs straight up. He had his feet just in his grasp when his Dad came into the room. “Do I want to know?”

             “We’re being turtles that have been flipped over Daddy.” 

             Jinki grinned, hair falling from his forehead as he leaned his head back to look at Jaeho more clearly. The man just shook his head and wiped his hands on the towel in his hands. “Dinner should be ready soon. Why don’t you turn right side up and go get cleaned up, boys?”

             “Hey, Daddy?”

             “Yes, Sweetheart?” 

             “When’s my dance thing?” 

             “In a few weeks on the 4th.” 

             Taemin whipped his head over to Jinki, hand coming to smack against the older boy’s arm. “Can you make it?”

             Jinki was rubbing his arm with a scowl. “If I say yes will you stop hitting me?” 

             “My mistake.”

             The older boy twisted until he was right side up, wiggling on his slippers and ruffling Taemin’s hair messily. “Anything for you Taeter.”

------

December 2000

             As much as Jinki enjoyed the Christmas season, he wasn’t a fan of the parties his Moms dragged him to every year. It was fine when he was younger. Most of the time he was sitting on the floor playing with some toy a fellow kid got for Christmas, but now he was old enough the adults wanted to ask him questions and he did not like that one bit. Luckily, Taemin and his Dad came with them this year. Their plans had fallen through and Jinki’s Ma wasn’t about to let them not have a party to go to.

             Having Taemin with him made things a lot more enjoyable, even if the boy now was curled up on his thigh asleep. He had Jinki’s hat pulled over his head and down far enough to cover his eyes, thumb in his mouth as he faced the wall. Jinki wasn’t going to let anyone bother his Taeter, even that sweet old lady got a glare when she came their way.

-----

             Jaeho lowered his glass of wine when a soft voice was heard to his left. Standing there was one of Hyejoo’s sisters. “You’re Taemin’s father, aren’t you?”

             “I am.” 

             She smiled sweetly before gesturing toward the boys across the hall by the second Christmas tree. “They sure are very cute. Jinki’s been fending off people to let Taemin sleep for the last hour.” 

             “I sure hope they’re cute.” Jaeho chuckled before he took a sip of wine. “Little man’s already proposed.” 

             “Did he?”

             “Ring pop and all. Jinki told him he would.” Jaeho’s eyes crinkled with how fond he was looking at the two young boys.

             “That’s very cute. My daughter says she wants to get married like Hyejoo.” 

             “Well, Chanri is a very amazing person.” Jaeho shrugged. “If she manages to marry someone like that I’d call that a win.”

             “I suppose, but you know, we already have one gay couple in the family we don’t need more.” 

             His eyebrows were raised as she finished her sentence, humming before smiling at her. “Well, too bad you can’t control that. Merry Christmas.” 

             Her expression was missed as he turned around to find either of Jinki’s mothers. While most of their family seemed nice and half accepting, Jaeho really wanted to know when they were heading home. The boys seemed exhausted, presents had already been given after dinner, and all that seemed to be happening was the alcoholics of the family were living up to their reputation. 

             An hour later when he finally got to talk to both of them and went to get the kids, Jinki hissed a quiet go away before he realized who they were and a smile beamed across his face. “Are we going home now?” 

             “Yes, Baby. Your watch has ended.” Chanri held out her hand for him after Taemin was scooped up by Jaeho. “Let’s go get your coat.”

             Taemin nuzzled against his Dad’s shoulder, mumbling, “I want to eat snow.” 

             “There’s an entire yard of it at home.”

             “Mm snow.” He was snoring softly before his Dad’s feet even hit the first step up to the main level.

------

September 2001

             For the first few weeks, Jinki was very aware of how upset Taemin was that they were no longer riding the same bus to and from school. Starting middle school meant he went and got off of school earlier, but every afternoon he’d sit on the porch swing with the sandwiches one of his mothers made for them and wait for Taemin to jump off the bus down at the corner a few houses to the right. As fall turned into winter Jinki changed to waiting at the bus stop for him to hold his hand and lead him through the snow still piled high on the sidewalks in front of houses that didn’t shovel it yet. Hot cocoa was served at the kitchen table while they each did their homework. Every so often Jinki would have to help Taemin save his cookie he dropped into the bottom of his mug.

-----

December 2001

             When his twelfth birthday rolled around it fell on a Friday. He was woken up by his Ma, the silly cloth birthday hat they’ve used as long as he can remember in her hand. “Come on Sweetie, wake up. Your birthday breakfast awaits.”

             His slippers were wiggled onto his feet as he swung himself out of bed and jogged down the steps in front of his Ma, sliding around the bottom banister and barely stopping himself from colliding with the back of one of the dining table chairs. He felt his Ma put the cloth hat on his head as his Mom carried over the last bowl of his birthday spread including rice, kimchi and grilled meat he couldn’t wait to eat. It wasn’t often he could have Korean food for breakfast, his mothers opting for more western choices such as cereal or pastries one picked up on the way back from work with how much quicker they were to prepare. “Thank you.”

             His Mom pressed a kiss to the top of his head mindful of his hat, “You’re welcome Baby. Happy Birthday.” 

-----

             Being his birthday he was able to skip school. He didn’t have any tests, presentations or anything vastly important that couldn’t be made up at a later date, and he hadn’t missed any school besides that one time he got a stomach bug from Taemin. He made sure to put on his long johns under his jeans and an extra pair of socks on before heading downstairs to sit on the bottom step and pull on his snow boots. He got to choose what they did on his birthday with a few restrictions and this year he wanted to go to the zoo. 

             The drive there seemed to take forever and by the time he stepped out of the back seat, he couldn’t wait to see the giraffes. He took his Ma’s hand and beamed up at his Mom as she approached. “Where first Baby?” 

             “Giraffes!” 

             “Oh silly me. I should have known that.” He swung both of their hands as best he could as his Ma showed their season pass as they approached the front gate. To the left was the gift shop and to the right was a restaurant and the bathrooms, but just past that to the right was the bridge that led across the lake to the African section of the zoo. As soon as they walked down the hill through the large bamboo shoots he shot off like a rocket toward the netted barrier. “Jinki be careful!” 

             When his Mothers finally caught up to him he was sitting on the stone ground that had been shoveled free of snow, legs crisscrossed in front of him, and fingers curled in the knots in the rope barrier staring at the baby giraffe just under him too short to reach that high. “Look Ma, Mom! He’s small.” 

             “He is.” His Ma softly stated as she leaned on the wooden top of the barrier. “He’s waiting to go back into his house. It’s too cold.” 

             “Do you want to go see the polar bears?” His Mom quietly asked, smiling when he glanced up at her. “We can come back to see them again before we leave.” 

             Jinki stared as the baby giraffe moved into the big tall doors out of view, a frown deep on his face as he pushed off the ground. “Yeah.” 

             “Come on Sweetie. They’ll be really happy with all this snow.” 

------

             By the time they made it back home Jinki was nodding off against the stuffed animal giraffe he had chosen as his one thing from the gift shop. He had wanted to stay longer, but Taemin would be getting off the bus soon and he never missed a day. Traffic had made it so they were a little late and Jinki was just then sliding out of the SUV as the school bus turned the corner. Taemin was stepping off the bus and looking around wildly for him as he stepped through the snow, but as soon as he saw Jinki a big grin spread across his face. “Happy birthday Jinki!” 

             “Thank you.” He offered his elbow for Taemin to curl his arm around, which he happily took. “You coming over for snacks?” 

             “For a little bit until Daddy gets home. He’s gonna help me with something.” 

             “I can try and help you if it’s important.”

             Taemin huffed. “You can’t help me with this.”

             His Mom had the door open for them as they stepped up the porch steps, the water already being put on the stove for their cocoa as they hung up their coats and kicked off their shoes. 

-----

             When dinner rolled around Taemin’s dad came to get him. Jinki saw Mr. Lee say something to his Mom, but he was too far away to hear much of it. Besides, he really wanted to open his present that his Ma was getting from their bedroom closet. Just as the front door clicked closed his Ma entered the living room and sat on the right side of him as the wrapped box was pushed on the coffee table in front of him. His Ma kissed his cheek, laughing as he wiggled to get free. “Happy Birthday Sweetie.”

             His fingers brushed against the cool to the touch wrapping paper before he faltered and looked toward her, bottom lip between his teeth for a moment. “Shouldn’t we wait for Mom?”

             “She’ll be here in a minute. Go on ahead.” 

             It felt a little wrong to do it without her, but he pulled at the visible folds on the side and began to rip it off. Inside was a shoebox, but as he lifted the lid inside wasn’t a pair of shoes. On the bottom surrounded by a lot of tissue paper was a dog collar.  Jinki curled his fingers around the light blue-collar, the tag clinking slightly as he brought it from the box. Underneath was a gift card to the local pet store they had bought his betta fish when he was nine. “I’m confused, Ma.” 

             “It’s not for you.” She quietly replied.

             “But-”

             “It’s for him.” His attention snapped up and forward at the sound of his Mom’s voice. It took Jinki a moment to notice the animal in her arms, but he squeaked a little when he did. “Aren’t you going to come and say Hi?” 

             Jinki quickly rounded the table, collar still in his grasp as he came to a stop in front of his Mom and the small dog in her arms. His right hand lifted to barely brush against the dog before he looked up with wide eyes. “He’s mine?” 

             “Your Ma and I will help you train him, but you’ll have to feed him and take care of him.” She slowly lowered to the ground, the puppy in her lap and hands holding him still around his chest. “Are you ready for that responsibility, Baby?” 

             Jinki nodded slowly, finally reaching out to run his hand over the puppy’s head, bottom lip trembling a little. His voice was very soft, almost a whisper when he answered verbally. “I’ll try my very best.” 

             Chanri then passed the puppy over into her son’s arms and kissed his forehead. “If you want to we can go use that gift card tomorrow.” 

             “Thank you.” He whipped around enough to see his Ma who was grinning from ear to ear. “Thank you. I love him.” 

             As Jinki got acquainted with his new pet on the carpet in front of the television, his mothers curled up on the couch softly talking to each other and smiling fondly each time their son laughed.

------

             In the morning Jinki came downstairs slowly, hair a mess and with only one slipper firmly on, to find Taemin sitting in the middle of the kitchen giggling as Oli wiggled between his legs. The small corgi pup had his tongue out of his mouth, front paws tapping against the hardwoods, and every so often a small bark was heard. The floor beneath his foot creaked as Jinki stepped into the room and all eyes flicked over to him. Taemin’s voice overpowered all three adults as he rushed over to grab his friend’s hand. “Jinnie! You got a puppy!”

             “I did.”

             “I meant to come over yesterday.” Taemin scowled as he weaved around the wiggling puppy around his feet to grab the bag on the dining table next to his Dad. As he handed it to Jinki he grinned. “But it wasn’t done baking yet.” 

             “You didn’t attempt to make me a cake, did you?”

             “No, Daddy has trouble burning things.” 

             Mr. Lee cleared his throat from over his coffee cup. “Thanks, Bud.” 

             Taemin rocked on the balls of his feet. “I know it’s not a dog but I hope you like it..” 

             Under all of the tissue paper was what looked like a heart. Jinki carefully lifted it from the bag and brought it up closer to inspect it. It was a bit dense clay from the feel of it. It was a heart, painted slightly rough with the words. Happy Birthday in Hangul. “You made this Taeter?” 

             “Mhmm. I signed the bottom, see.” 

             Sure enough, as Jinki turned the heart over Love Taeter was scribbled roughly into the base. “Thank you, Taemin. I love it.” 

             His Mom put it on top of the fridge for him for safekeeping as breakfast was served. The food was barely off the plate completely before the two boys were running through the patio doors, Oli yipping at their heels. 

------

February 2002

             Taemin sneezed loudly as the dust billowed around him. He was sure he hadn’t seen much of what was down here in the basement before in his life and that his Dad had no concept of organization. He thought when the last box was opened to old empty picture frames that the next one would be pictures, but as he opened the flaps Christmas decorations were staring back at him. Box after box he kept opening them until finally, he found one behind the stairs. The box was labeled Yoobin he realized after stepping down from the chair he needed to get to it in the first place. The top was heavily tapped, but after a few minutes of fidgeting with ends, he could finally open the box completely.

             Flipping through the photos he realized most were of a woman, he supposed was Yoobin. The questions forming in his mind were half answered as he picked one up to see his Dad next to her. It was a much younger version of his Dad. There were no greys in his hair and Taemin couldn’t see any evidence of himself anywhere in the photos he picked up. When his dad yelled down the stairs for him he jumped, the photos in his hands falling into the box once again. “Taemin, Bud, you down there?” 

             “Yeah, Daddy!” 

             The stairs creaked softly with a shadow falling as his Dad took the steps one at a time. “What are you doing?”

             “Finding pictures for my project... Or trying to.” 

             A few moments later his Dad turned the corner and smiled, “You could have asked for help.”

             Taemin scrunched his nose. “You were on the phone.” 

             “Well, I’m not now.” His gaze moved over to the box Taemin’s hand was still resting against. “What do you have here?” 

             The smile on his Dad’s face fell immediately when Taemin asked, “Who’s Yoobin?” 

             “That’s… a complicated question Taemin.”

             Taemin turned fully toward the box to find a photo of her and his Dad, holding it up quickly for him. “There are many pictures of you in here with her. Who is she? Is she my Mom?” 

             The expression on his Dad’s face scared Taemin; as the last time, something resembling it was the night he and Jinki went to the treehouse without telling him. He was hurt and scared. “I guess you’re old enough now to be told the truth. Come on, Bud. Let’s go upstairs.” 

             “I want to know now!” 

             “Please Taemin.” A hand was held out for him, the voice soft and warm as the man spoke. “I’ll answer any questions you have, but you have to come to hear me out first.” 

             He bit his lip, rocking on the balls of his feet before he dropped the photo into the box and took his Dad’s hand to be led back up the stairs. When they arrived in their living room his Dad sat in the recliner before patting his lap and smiling as Taemin jumped up. “Can I ask a question before you explain?”

             “You just did, Bud.” 

             His brows furrowed. “I mean another one.” Once his Dad nodded, Taemin continued, “Is she, my mom?”

-----

             Jaeho had hoped that when the time came to tell Taemin more about his mother-besides the fact that she wasn’t here-that Taemin would have been a bit older than eight. While not the age he wished him to be, the boy was old enough to deserve the truth. Jaeho gazed at his son’s face, the big eyes, the bottom lip pulled between his teeth, and he knew that telling Taemin this would break his heart. “She is.” 

             “Why isn’t she here?”

             “We moved here when you were only a few months old. The apartment I had been living in I shared with a friend of mine and it wasn’t the right atmosphere to raise a newborn. I loved your mother very much, but when you were born we weren’t together.” Jaeho took a deep breath, eyes fluttering a little before he made sure he was looking at Taemin as he continued. “She isn’t here because she decided she didn’t want to be a mother and she gave you to me to raise.”

             Time seemed to move as if he was dumped in a vat of honey, the emotions coming and going so vividly over the young boy’s face as he tried to process the words. Finally, the silence broke as the boy softly questioned, “She didn’t want me? My mom… gave me up?” 

             “Baby it’s not that-”

             “No! That’s what you said.” He shouted, scrambling off of Jaeho’s lap. “She gave me to you. You told me she was gone.”

             “I didn’t lie to you. She is gone.” Taemin his heel and pulled open the front door. “Taemin! Where are you going?” 

             “To Jinki.”

             “I didn’t tell you that you could leave.”

             “You didn’t tell me a lot of things, Dad.” And with that, the door slammed as the boy left in his house slippers. 

-----

             Jinki slowly looked up from his history paper he was working on when his Mom got up from the table to go answer the front door. It was almost eight-thirty and as far as he knew they weren’t expecting anyone. His head snapped back up when he heard Taemin’s voice and saw his pink bunny slippers through his Mom’s legs. “Is Jinki home?”

             “He is. Where’s your Dad, Taemin?” 

             “Home. Can I please come in?” His hiccups were quick and loud. Jinki watched his Mom step aside and Taemin’s eyes were on him immediately. The smile the older boy had on his face was gone in an instant the moment he noticed the tears on Taemin’s face. 

             “Taeter, what’s wrong?” As Taemin practically slammed into him, Jinki twisted to embrace him more effectively. “I thought you weren’t coming over tonight to work on your family tree.” 

             “My mom didn’t want me.” The world around them screeched to a halt with such a heart cutting statement that Jinki was not prepared to handle at all. He looked up from the mop of hair pressed into his chest, looking quickly around for either of his moms, panicked. Luckily, his Mom had followed Taemin in and quickly moved over to take over the situation. 

------

             While it wasn’t uncommon to open the door to find Taemin wanting to play with Jinki, he had never shown up without proper shoes or a coat, shivering with tears covering his little face. Chanri knew something had to have happened, but she never thought she’d hear the little boy say the words that his mom didn’t want him. Jinki was doing his best to comfort the boy, but he was out of his element and no twelve year old should be expected to be able to emotionally handle something like this. Her son’s eyes were barely lifting to her before Chanri was moving closer and asking, “Taemin, hey, Baby what do you mean?” 

             Taemin glanced over, cheek still squished against Jinki, “Found photos of a girl with my Dad.”

             “And he told you it was your mom?” Taemin nodded back softly. “Did he tell you she didn’t want you?”

             A rough hiccup jarred the boy’s small frame when he tried to speak, but as each attempt failed he became flustered and embarrassed and nuzzled his face into Jinki completely. Chanri rubbed a hand on Taemin’s back softly as she looked past the two of them to her wife. Hyejoo was coming in from the laundry room, basket against one hip and another hand lifting to pull out her earbud seeing they had a guest. Chanri didn’t want to explain things too much in front of the kids, so instead, she turned to Jinki, “Can you take Taemin up to your room Baby? And get him all dried off and warm?” 

             “Yes, Mom. Come on Taeter.” Before they made it out of the room Jinki turned back to softly ask, “Can I take Oli out of his kennel?” 

             “Yes, Baby.” 

             “Thank you.” 

             As soon as the two boys were around the corner and up the stairs Hyejoo quietly asked, “Alright, what the happened in the 30 minutes I walked into the laundry room?” 

             “I believe Jaeho finally told Taemin the truth about his mother.” Chanri pushed off the table. Fingertips still brushing the surface as she turned toward her wife fully. “He thinks he wasn’t wanted by his Mom.” 

             Hyejoo looked like she was a second away from storming over to Jaeho’s home and giving him a piece of her mind, “And where is Jaeho?” 

             “Next door I’m presuming.” Chanri grabbed Hyejoo’s wrist softly as the woman moved toward the hallway leading to the front door with a small smile. “As much as I want to let you loose, we have to think about how to handle this before we act.” 

             “Why? He obviously didn’t!” 

             “Love,” The tension left Hyejoo’s wrist as she turned to listen to her wife. “This is going to be very hard for Taemin and he’s finding comfort in our son.  One of us needs to go over and talk to Jaeho about this and how he wants to proceed. Do you want to do that and be level headed about it, or do you want to stay here and make sure the boys are alright?’

             “I-” Hyejoo’s mouth snapped shut after a moment before she sighed, “Will stay here and make sure the boys are alright.” 

             “That’s a good girl.” Chanri kissed her wife’s forehead before grabbing her keys just in case the front door locked behind her. “ Make some of those oatmeal cookies. Taemin really likes those.”

             When she looked toward Hyejoo, the woman was already standing by the freezer, storage bag full of premade cookie balls in her hand. There was a bright grin on Hyejoo’s face as she quipped. “One step ahead of you.” 

             “And I’d get some extra blankets. I think Taemin is going to want to stay with Jinki tonight.” 

             Hyejoo nodded, “See if you can get his dinosaur. He won’t be able to sleep without it.”

             “Aye, Love. Be right back.”

----

             The cold February wind whipped against Chanri as she stood on Jaeho’s front porch, waiting for the door to open. She wasn’t exactly sure what she was going to say, but she planned to get the details of what caused Taemin to think his mother didn’t want him. While such a statement seemed true, that wasn’t something you openly admit to a child. Before she could get too angry by her thoughts, the door whipped open. Jaeho’s expression fell a little, but he stepped aside to let her in. “I thought you might be Taemin.”

             “He’s probably eating an oatmeal cookie and playing with Jinki’s puppy right now.” 

             Jaeho pressed his lips together in a thin line as the door clicked closed, “Chanri, listen I-”

             She held a hand up quickly after shaking off her coat. “I am not here to judge you or scold you like a child, Jaeho. I just want to understand why your son showed up in tears believing his Mother didn’t want him.” 

             “He found a box of stuff that I have of Yoobin and her things while looking for pictures for a family tree project. He asked if she was his mother and why she wasn’t here. I decided he deserved to know the truth.” 

             “That she didn’t want him? You don’t tell a child that!” 

             “I thought you weren’t going to judge.” 

             Chanri ran her fingers through her hair with a sigh, “While I agree that the truth is important, what did you say to him exactly?”

             “I explained that I wasn’t with her when he was born and that she left him to me to raise because she didn’t want to be a mother.” 

             “Jaeho.” She softly whined, “What have you been telling him all these years?”

             “That she was gone.” 

             “Jesus Christ.” She hissed. “Alright, listen, you’re going to go over there and apologize to Taemin, try to make him understand why she would do something like that, and if you have to sugar coat it,  do it.” 

             “I don’t appreciate you telling me how to parent my child.” 

             “Oh,” Chanri chuckled lightly, before scowling at him and poking a finger into his chest. “I don’t appreciate having my child deal with your mess. He’s twelve trying to help his friend deal with very complicated emotions so get the over yourself.” 

-----

             Taemin looked up from petting Oli’s tummy when there was a knock on the door. Standing there was his Dad. The boy immediately looked away, lip jutted out. “I don’t want to talk to you.”

             “Please, Bud.”

             “No.” 

             “You don’t have to talk. Just listen.” 

             Jinki gave him a big smile from across the way when Taemin looked over, and it was enough for the younger boy to agree. “Fine.”

             “Come on Jinki. Give them some privacy.” Jinki hesitantly began to move from his spot at his Ma’s instructions but froze when Taemin whined his name.

             “Let him stay. Please.” 

             The woman looked down at Jinki as she asked, “Are you comfortable with staying, Sweetie?”

             “Yeah. I want to be here for Taeter.”

             “Alright. Your Mom and I are just downstairs if you need us.” 

             It was hard to listen to his Dad with how angry and hurt Taemin was, but it helped tons that Jinki was sitting right beside him, holding his hand between both of his. When they went to bed that night he was curled up with his dinosaur, back pressed to Jinki’s, feeling exhausted but lightweight as he fell asleep.

-------

             A few weeks later Taemin is sprawled out on the floor at the end of Jinki’s bed, homework spread out in front of him when he softly calls out to the older boy up on the bed. “Jinki?” 

             There’s rustling and the sound of paper being crinkled before Jinki’s head can be seen past the foot of the bed, “So there’s this dance coming up.”

             The older boy grinned, “Are you going to go?”

             “That depends.”

             “On?”

             Taemin huffed and pushed off the ground, closing his workbook to look at Jinki fully, hands in his lap as his legs are pulled in closer. “On how you feel about me asking your moms if they’d go with me.”

             It takes a moment, but the realization dawning on Jinki is visible over his expression. “It’s a mother-son dance.” 

             “Yeah,” Taemin’s bottom lip is jutted out, gaze down as he shrugs. “It’s alright. I didn’t want to go anyway.”

             “Hey!” Jinki fumbles a little as he tries to get off the bed and away from his mess of homework quickly, but soon he’s falling to his knees and taking Taemin’s shoulders into his hands. “If you asked either of them they’d be happy to go, I know it.”

             “Are you okay with that?”

             “I have two Moms.” Jinki grins a little. “I think I can share one for a night.” 

             With a shaky breath, Taemin sniffled. The brightness of Jinki’s expression dims dramatically as he rushes to bring the young boy into a hug. “All my friends are going and I just-”

             “Shh, it’s alright.”

              Taemin had talked to Jinki about wanting a mom many times over the years, but ever since he found the box of pictures his Dad had kept of his birth mom that desire only increased. As well as the feeling of being unwanted when he asked where she was and his Dad finally told him the truth. “Will you go with me to ask?”

             “Of course.”

-----

             “Hey Mommies?” Both women looked up at Jinki’s voice, smiling with each greeting. “Taeter has a question.”

             Taemin hid a little behind Jinki, hands still gripping the one of Jinki’s tightly, as the attention shifted to him. It was Hyejoo who spoke first, “It’s okay Sweetheart. You can ask us.” 

             Jinki flashed a bright smile when the younger boy looked up at him. It was then Taemin stepped back around and softly spoke. “There’s this mommy son dance coming up and I was wondering if you’re not busy and would like to step in for me since.. I don’t have a mom. Jinki said he didn’t mind sharing.”

              The women shared a look before they both stood and walked over, kneeling in front of him so he was looking down at them. Chanri softly asked, “What day is it, Sweetie?” 

             “The 26th of March.” 

             Hyejoo smiled brightly. “It seems we have a date then Taemin. If you’ll have me.” 

             Taemin’s entire face brightened as he almost began to jump up and down, “You’ll really go with me, Mrs. Lee?” 

             “I’d be honored,” She tapped his chin very softly before smiling, “You know Taemin if you’re comfortable with it, you could call us Ma and Mom like Jinki does.”

             “Whoa… really?” 

             Chanri ruffled his hair, “You are engaged to our son. Might as well start now.” 

             Taemin’s cheeks were a soft pink color as he looked at them both, shyly saying, “Thank you.”

             “You’re very welcome, Sweetheart.” 

             As the two boys turned and began to bound up the steps Taemin’s unsure voice asked, “Are you okay with me calling them that?”

             “I mean we ARE going to be married.” Their voices became too soft and muffled to make out then, and when Chanri turned to Hyejoo she chuckled at the tears slowly falling from her cheeks. 

             As she gently wiped them Chanri grinned, “You’re such a baby, Love.”

             “Shut up,” Hyejoo grumbled, “I’m just touched he asked us.” 

------

March 2002

             When the night of the dance came, the doorbell rang half an hour before the dance was supposed to start. Hyejoo had a blue dress on, going down till her knees and flats, hair curled and brought up out of her face. As Chanri went to answer the door, Jinki was sitting on the staircase, looking between the banister rungs. “You look really pretty, Ma.” 

             “Thank you, Sweetie.” Their attention shifted to the front door as Chanri stepped aside and standing there was Taemin and his Dad.  “Hi, Sweetheart.”

             “Ma, I know I’m early but Daddy says to never be late to a date.” Taemin had his back super straight, with his hair pushed up with gel, and a snazzy little tuxedo on his frame. 

             Hyejoo flicked her eyes up at Jaeho for a moment before returning back to the boy. “Is that so?”

             “Mhmm, and I brought you a flower.” He held it up quickly, little fist curled tightly around the stem. “It’s from our front yard. I know you like flowers.” 

             “I do.” Hyejoo softly smiled as she brought the daisy to her nose to sniff. “Thank you.” 

             “You two better get going squirt.” Jaeho ruffled his son’s hair, beaming when Taemin glared up at him. 

             “Dad!” He whined. “You’ll mess up my hair.” 

             Jinki quipped from his spot on the stairs, Oli laying beside him. “You can’t do that anymore than it already is Taeter.” 

             “You look like a frog.”

             “Alright, John Travolta in Grease.”  

             “Come now boys.” Hyejoo chuckled. 

             “Sorry Ma,” The two boys quietly said. Taemin’s cheeks were a soft pink, head dipped a little as if shy. 

             “You ready to go, Sweetheart?”

             “Yes, Ma.”

             “Then let’s go.”

             Before they could leave Hyejoo got a kiss from Chanri and Jinki, and Taemin tried to wiggle away from his Dad trying to say goodbye. Once the door was closed Jaeho quietly said, “Thank you for doing this for him.” 

             “It really isn’t a problem.” Chanri made sure they made it out of the garage before turning from the window on the side of the door. “Did you know he was going to ask us?”

             “No, I was preparing to go with him instead before he told me Hyejoo said she’d go with him.” 

             “I would have, but tonight's video game night with Jinki.” 

             At the mention of his name, the boy whipped around the stairs, beaming. “Are you ready to go down, Mom?”

             “In your dreams, Little Man.” 

             Jinki huffed, “Come on Oli, let’s go get it started.”

             Once the boy and his dog had disappeared into the next room Chanri leaned against the wall and quietly asked Jaeho, “You looked a little surprised to hear him call Hyejoo Ma. Are you alright with him calling us that?” 

              “I would have liked to be asked about it.”

             “And I apologize for that.” Chanri sighed, “With how much he’s been through, we were really touched he thought to ask us to go. We love your son, Jaeho. He’s very important to us and Jinki.” 

             “I know, and you must know how grateful I am for how you’ve helped us both all these years.” 

             Chanri grinned, “Do you want to join Jinki and me? We’re playing Mario Party on his GameCube.”

             “I don’t want to intrude. It’s your thing with him.” His keys jingled a little as he shifted. “I’ll be back to pick Taemin up later.” 

             “Have a goodnight Jaeho.” 

             The man had just stepped from the door when Jinki popped his head around the corner, half hanging off one end of the couch. “Mom, are you coming?”

             She locked the deadbolt on the door with a grin. “I was letting you get prepared to lose.” 

------

February 2003

             “Hey, Sweetie?” Jinki skidded to a halt, backtracking until he could see his Ma down the hall in the dining room. “Can you come here for a second?” 

             “Uh sure.” As he stepped into the room he finally saw his Mom too. He scratched the back of his neck, “I didn’t do anything wrong, right?”

             “Unless you have something to confess, no.” His Mom answered, a small grin on her face. “We just have something important we’d like to talk to you about.” 

             “This sounds like the start of a lecture. I don’t like it.” He concluded as he slipped into the chair across from them. “Did someone die?” 

             “God, no! We just-” He watched as his parents shared a look before his Ma continued. “We want to talk about reproduction.”

             Jinki began to scoot further down his seat. “Look, while I appreciate the very good parenting... trying to have the talk with me, I learned a lot already and I’d rather not.”

             “Where have you been learning these things?” His Ma questioned.

             “That is a conversation for another time, Dear.” Jinki praised his Mom for her impeccable judgment. “Besides, that’s not what we wanted to talk about. Your Ma and I have been thinking about having another child.” 

             “Oh, so you’re going to adopt again?” 

             “No, we-” Both women froze before his Mom spoke again. “What do you mean again?” 

             “That’s how you… got me, isn’t it?” 

             “Oh my sweet child, no.” His Ma rushed around the table to slip into the chair beside him, “You’ve thought you were adopted this entire time?” 

             “I mean you two can’t... You know.” He waves his hands randomly in gesture, head dipping with pink brushed across his cheeks. 

             He looked up when he felt someone putting a hand over his, stopping the movements. His Mom had come to his side of the table too. “You aren’t adopted, Jinki. I carried you with the help of a donor.” 

             “So I’m not Ma’s?” 

             “Sweetie, you may not have my DNA, but you’re my son just as much as you are hers.” A kiss was pressed to his hair, his Ma lingering slightly before pulling away. “I’m sorry you thought you were adopted all this time, Jinki.” 

             He bit his lower lip, eyes cast into his lap for a long while before he glanced between the both of them. “Can I have a hug?” 

             “Always.” 

             After a few moments in the middle of their embrace Jinki quietly asked, “So who’s getting pregnant?” 

             They pulled away from him, both laughing quietly before his Mom answered, “We wanted you to be full siblings, so I will.”

             “Oh.. okay.” But then his expression twisted, confusion clearly written on his face. “Wait, how’s that going to work?”

             His Mom cleared , running her fingers through her hair, “Well when we went to the donation center and choose which donor we wanted we paid money to house the rest of that donor’s sample in case we wanted more children down the road.”  

             “ lasts that long in a freezer?” He blurted out before realizing he just said in front of his parents and a blush spread across his face. 

             “It lowers how well it works, but yes.” 

             Jinki tapped his fingers against his thighs, staring at the table, “As uh nice as this has been, can I please go see Taemin?” 

             “Just be home before dinner.” His Ma reminded him just before he bounded out of his seat, kissing them each once on their cheeks, and rushing out of the room.

-----

August 2003

             Jinki glanced around his open locker at the end of the hall where the girl he liked, Hyoyeon, was standing with a few of her friends. Homecoming was just around the corner and he figured it was the best time as any to ask her out. She was really nice to him all through physical science last year and he thought the way she curled her hair around her finger when she was bored in class was cute. She also thought him having two moms was cool, which was more than he could say about a lot of his classmates. As her friends began to leave Jinki took a deep breath, grabbed his history book, and set off on his mission. 

             “Hey, Hyoyeon.” 

             She smiled at him when she turned, “Hey Jinki. How was your summer?”

             “Pretty good.” His fingers flexed nervously on the bind of his book held against his chest. “I actually have a question for you.” 

             She paused getting a pen from the pink mesh cup in her locket and gave a bright smile. “Shoot.” 

             “Homecoming is soon and I was wondering if you don’t have a date already...if you’d go with me, maybe.” The silence between them was deafening and Jinki’s heart began to beat rapidly, breathing rate increasing slightly. “It’s okay if someone asked you already or if you don’t want to.” 

             “No one’s asked me Jinki.” She turned, scribbling something on the notepad velcroed to the locker door. It was when she handed it over he realized it was a phone number. “I’d love to go with you. Call me around eight tonight. We can talk about the details.” 

             “Okay!” 

             Hyoyeon closed her locker softly. Before she completely walked past him she stopped to gently kiss his cheek. “Talk to you later Jinki.” 

             “B-Bye.” His heart was hammering in his chest, but there was a big grin on his face as he leaned back against the lockers. Then the warning bell rang and he realized he had stuttered. Making his way to his class he muttered, “Stupid Jinki. Just stupid.” 

-----

Christmas Day 2003

             Taemin was rather enjoying his Christmas. He had gone to church with his Dad that morning after opening a few of his gifts and Jinki had played quite a few games of Mario Party with him while the adults finished cooking, but then the older boy’s girlfriend had arrived. Taemin had met her a few times before and she seemed nice enough, but Jinki never paid as much attention to him when Hyoyeon was around. The younger boy didn’t understand. What was so great about her anyway? Even Oli liked her and Taemin had to work months to get the dog to sit in his lap without a treat prompt. 

             When Jinki was called into the kitchen to help set the table it left Taemin alone with her. She had the audacity to smile and be nice. How dare she. “What are you working on, Taemin?” 

             “A tree.” He slowly lifted the piece of copy paper to show the Christmas Tree he had been coloring. 

             “It’s a very pretty tree.” 

             “Thanks.” He went back to scribbling before he asked, “Are you and Jinki going to get married?”

             Hyoyeon began to cough, pushing her glass on the table in front of her as she tried to recover. “I don’t know. We’ve only been dating a few months.” 

             “Oh.” He placed his crayon on the table beside his open pack of them. “Did he tell you I already proposed?”

             “I don’t think that’s come up.” One eyebrow was slightly raised at him and he wasn’t sure what emotion to connect that to. “How do you feel about him dating me?”

             “Honestly,” He drawled, “Only one of us gave him a ring pop so I’m not worried.” 

             Taemin was faintly sure he heard her laughing as he got up to see what Jinki was doing, but he couldn’t focus much because the older boy was trying to get his attention and that was always more important. 

------

             The door to his bedroom was open as per the house rules when Hyoyeon was over. They were sitting on his bed, the bracelet Jinki had made her on Hyoyeon’s wrist as they held hands resting in Jinki’s lap. She hummed before saying, “So, Taemin told me he was engaged to you today.”

             Jinki groaned, “He did not.” 

             “Oh, he did. Should I feel threatened by a 10-year-old?” 

             “No,” He chuckled before turning to kiss her temple. “He asked me with a ring pop when he was four. It’s just an inside joke in our families.”

             A few moments passed before Hyoyeon asked, “Mm, what flavor was the ring pop?”

             “Cherry I think.” He looked off to the side trying to recall completely. “It was a flavor I don’t really like, so either that or green apple.” 

             “That makes you very weird. Who doesn’t like Cherry?!” 

             He pouted when she pulled away, “Me. I don’t like it.” 

             “I guess you’re alright.” She sighed before giving a cheeky grin.

------

April 1st, 2004

             Jinki wasn’t sure how he felt about pregnancy. It seemed oddly weird when he had briefly been taught it in health class the year before, but experiencing it through his Mom made it even more so. His Ma had reminded him not to mention how big the other woman had gotten and to never eat that special jar of apple butter in the fridge. Apparently, it was about to end soon. The last couple of weeks he had heard conversations about someone’s hick contractions and from what he understood that meant the birth was coming. He had asked them both to not let him know anything about the birth or the process and luckily, they agreed. 

             Currently, he was helping his Mom fold the baby clothes. Also known as him doing all the folding, and his Mom pointing where she wanted it. According to that little photo, he was shown a few months ago, he’d be gaining a sister soon. The only saving grace was that he had his own bathroom. He wasn’t sure he could handle having to deal with three different hair shedders. Jinki swore his mothers shed more than Oli did. “Baby, are you alright?” 

             He snapped out of his thoughts at the sound of her voice, turning with a little smile. “Sorry, daydreaming.” 

             “About?” 

             “You know, boy things.” He waved his head slightly before placing the onesie on the shelf. “I have a question.” 

             “I may have an answer.” She was leaning back in the rocking chair, hands resting on the swell of her belly. 

             “Why did you wait so long after me?” 

             “You were a horrible child and we needed to focus on you.” She laughed sharply when he half glared at her. “Sorry, I’m kidding. Mainly because I wanted to become a detective and it was difficult to get there without needing the required desk duty and maternity time. After that life took over. We really started to talk about it because there was a phone call about payment for further storage of the sample.” 

             “I see.” 

             “Would you have wanted a sibling growing up?”

             “I mean, I had Taeter. Isn’t he a lot like a sibling?” 

             “In a way.” With a hum, she nodded. She was grinning as she commented, “You’re going to find just how hard it is to find a baby’s off button.” 

             Jinki groaned as he turned toward her, “I will leave if you tease me again about that! I was 3.” 

             “But-”

             “Nope!” The rest of her sentence was cut off as he left the room, but her laughter was loud enough to hear through the walls.

------

             When his parents returned from the hospital, Jinki was flat on the floor in front of the television in the living room playing Mario 64 with Taemin pressed into his side. The younger boy claimed it was for good luck. Jinki knew he just wanted to wiggle enough to distract him.  He quickly paused the game and to his side to look behind them, seeing his Ma coming in holding the car seat he had helped install a few days before. “Why don’t you come and meet her?” 

             Jinki had been offered to go to the hospital for the delivery and the day or so after, but he had watched the video in health class. He’d rather not experience any part of that with his own Mom. Looking into the car seat at first all he could see was a mass of blankets, but then he followed the bear hat to the face of his new sister. Jinki glanced to his right with a grin, elbowing Taemin softly. “She looks like you did. A wrinkly potato.” 

             “Hey!” 

             “Her name is Junghee.” Jinki reached in and smiled as his sister curled her tiny fingers around his finger. His head whipped up when his Ma asked, “Would you like to hold her?”

             “Can I?”

             “Come sit.” A few moments later the warm bundle was gently rested in his arms and his Mom was smiling from her spot in the recliner. His Ma moved her hand from under Junghee’s head as she praised him. “Really good support on the head, Sweetie.” 

             “I suppose you’re alright so far.” 

             He did not think the same way ten minutes later when she began to wail.

------

June 2004

             The lemonade Jinki had brought out for them sat untouched on the table beside Hyoyeon. The porch swing was moving back and forth slowly, his foot barely pushing off the floor to keep it going. He tried to swallow, but it was difficult as he tried not to cry. “You’re really moving?” 

             “I don’t have a choice, Jinki.” Hyoyeon reached over to grab his hand, squeezing it as she continued. “I love you and I asked if we had to go, but my Dad has been transferred and I have to go with him.”

             “I don’t want to break up Hyo, but you’re moving to Japan. We can’t-”

             “I know.” She took a ragged breath. “We have to end this Jinki. I’m sorry.” 

             The swing jostled as Hyoyeon stood, pressing a kiss to his cheek before heading down the steps to where her Mom was waiting in the car parked on the street. The lemonade glasses were left on the table as Jinki went into the house, ignoring his Mom trying to get his attention, and softly closing his bedroom door behind him. 

             Jinki had tugged one of his pillows closer to his chest, squishing his face into the blue pillowcase, when he faintly heard the knocking on his door. His voice was muffled by the pillow as he called out. “I want to be left alone!” 

             “Can I come in Baby?” 

             “Mom, please... Just leave me alone.” 

             “I will just give me a few minutes.” When the bed dipped he scooted further away from the edge, hugging his pillow tighter as his Mom’s hand fell on his hip. “What happened, Baby?” 

             “Hyo’s moving. We broke up.” He managed to softly say through his hiccups.

             The weight on the bed lifted and then there was a kiss pressed to his hair. “Dinner will be ready when your Ma comes home. If you want to talk or need anything you know where we are. I love you.”

             Into his pillow, he grumbled, “I love you too.” 

-----

             Jinki stopped doing his homework, fingers pushing into his hair as he snipped, “I thought you said I’d be left alone.”

             “Um, even me, Jinnie?” 

             He whipped around quickly, eyes wide before softening when he saw Taemin standing in his doorway. The young boy was holding his bag close to his chest, hair a mess on his head, and Jinki’s extra pair of slippers on his feet even if they were a few sizes too big. “No Taeter. Not you. What’s up?”

             “Well, your Mom said you were sad so,” He walked over to push his bag on the bed, pulling out a few things before heading to Jinki at the desk. A can of Dr. Pepper and a snack bag full of goldfish crackers were placed beside the older boy’s open textbook. “I brought you a snack. It’s what Daddy gives me when I’m really sad.”

             “Thank you.” He gave a fond smile, “I feel better already.” 

             “Do you want me to leave now?”

             Jinki gazed at him for a moment before shaking his head. “It’s alright. Do you have any homework I can help you with?” 

             “I guess. I just need to make you feel important.” Taemin happily mumbled as he plopped onto the rug behind Jinki, backpack pulled down with him. 

             “Of course Taeter. Be right there.” A part of Jinki wanted to be left alone, but another couldn’t deny the lightness having the boy around caused in his heart.

-----

             After the dishes were finished and Taemin helped Jinki put them away, both boys came into the living room. The younger wished to play video games, but once it was set up for him Jinki opted to walk over to his parents sitting on the couch.  Without anything needing to be said the two women scooted apart just enough for Jinki to sit between them, a kiss pressed to each of his cheeks. Junghee was already in bed, too tired to keep her little eyes open for the remainder of the night, or at least a few hours his parents hoped. His Ma squeezed his knee as he laid his head against his Mom’s right shoulder. “Things will be okay, Sweetie.” 

             “It just hurts.” He muttered, squeezing his eyes shut trying to keep himself from crying again. He didn’t want to have to explain to Taemin.

             “And it will for some time.” His Mom quietly said against his hair, “And that’s alright too. There’s no set timeline for getting over this.” 

             “Can I just stay here for a while?” 

             Affection pushed against him on both sides, warm and safe between his mothers. “Of course, Sweetie.” 

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