TW: Child abuse (violence and negligence). This is the last TW for this story.

Her mother muffled a laugh at her and Chaewon tried her best to pretend she didn’t notice – she couldn’t really blame Luda for making fun of her behavior, after all she was acting a little different than normal today and there was nothing she could do about it.

Her suspension from school meant she would be home for at least four days, and she was using this time well. Early in the morning she went with her mom to the hospital, it was Luda’s off day at work, so she could accompany her to her appointment. As expected, Dr. Nam didn’t find anything wrong with her hearing aid, but Luda insisted on getting her a new one ‘for emergencies’ – her mother’s words –, as well as checking her ears to make sure her condition didn’t change since their last visit to the doctor. It didn’t take much time and soon they were outside, heading to one of the university’s nearby – for this appointment she was much more nervous, even though they didn’t stay for long there.

By lunchtime they were back home and she helped Luda with lunch – as in ‘placing the dishes on the table’ since they had bought food instead of cooking it, what was expected from two people whose biggest cooking talent was to use the microwave.

Now, two hours had passed and she found herself walking back and forth in their living room. Having tidy up her room and even prepared everything for the little movie marathon she promised Minjoo, she was starting to get oddly restless. Minjoo should be there any moment from now and although she was the one to invite the girl over, she couldn’t help but feel a little…What was that? Nervous? It seemed pretty silly of her, after all she was used to spend a big part of the day with Minjoo at school – but they weren’t at school now, and it seem to be enough to turn her into a hyped kid waiting for her friends for a sleepover.

“Maybe we should’ve picked her up…?” Luda said from her seat at one of the armchairs in the living room, she was working on her laptop while watching her daughter fidgeting with her own fingers with an anxious look on her face – Chaewon was one of a kind, she could act all mature and responsible, but in the end of the day she was just a teenager with all the normal insecurities and nerves that come with it, as her mother Luda knew it better than anyone. “You can text her and we’ll go.”

Chaewon shook her head with a little embarrassed smile. “She said she would take the bus here. But it’s still early.” Minjoo had told her she would be there by two, and there were still a couple of minutes left.

Luda hid her smile with her mug full of hot chocolate and looked over to her daughter, Chaewon was a pretty quiet, gentle child, one that was a little too easy to love. Through the years she had grown more and more loving and open about her feelings, but she knew it was only like this when it comes to the people she loves and trusts, while Chae would still only show her more indifferent and cold side to others – the clear display of her emotions in the moment made it pretty clear that her new friend wasn’t just anyone for her. For people like Chaewon, whose trust is something so precious and hard to acquire, once you conquered it and make your way to their hearts, it was for good – it was her best quality and her worst flaw all at once, and even though sometimes it worried Luda, in the moment she marveled at the sight of it.

“Are you worried about that?” Leaving her cup aside, she faced the younger brunette. “You know I can talk to her and her mother. As your mom and as a professional as well.” Earlier Chaewon had been so eager to visit her old college that it was almost funny, but knowing her reasons made her heart ache a bit – she had raised a sweet kid.

Chae made a face, before nodding. “Yeah, but not only that. I actually, promised to…” Chaewon stopped halfway through the phrase, her eyes on something behind Luda’s head – the front door, from where the distinct sound of the doorbell ringing could be heard and the small white light over it could be seen blinking.

Minjoo was there.

Grinning, the older woman gestured for her to go open the door and the younger Kim nodded, standing up a little too quickly.

Chaewon took a deep breath before opening it, she could feel her phone vibrating in her pocket – probably Minjoo informing she was there –, but she didn’t pick it up, opening the door before checking who it was. She was greeted by a shy looking Minjoo, who was still holding her phone in one hand and a bag with old DVD’s in the other. The taller brunette only smiled, unable to say anything having both hands full.

“Hey. Come on in, you’re just in time.” Stepping aside, Chaewon let her in and closed the door behind her while Minjoo was busy putting away her phone and looking around the house with her curious eyes. “My mom is waiting for us, but don’t worry about it, she is very easy-going and better at signing than I’m.”

“Thank you. I really want to meet her too.” The brunette gave her a grateful smile, she wasn’t actually nervous about meeting Chaewon’s mother – outside the principal’s office, at least –, but she was glad the other was always so mindful of her needs and worries to the point she could almost anticipate it beforehand. Visiting Chaewon was something she was looking forward since last night, she was excited about the idea of just hanging out without having to worry about bullies around the corner or people gossiping about them, meeting her family and knowing more about her seemed like a nice step to take and she was glad the girl welcomed her there. Moreover, she also wanted to check for herself how Chaewon was doing – today there was a Pikachu Band-Aid on her right cheek, the skin was still purple but it didn’t seem as swollen as before. Chaewon looked fine and it made her feel a little more at ease.

They met Chaewon’s mother as soon as they entered the living room, the short woman had a gentle smile on her face as she greeted Minjoo using both her voice and sign language. “Hello! Thank you for coming. I know it was a bit last minute, but I hope your mother can make it as well.” Her tone was warm and welcoming and any tension Minjoo had, was gone by the time Chaewon made their official introductions and they exchanged polite bows.

“Thanks for inviting me.” She returned the smile with one of her own, before taking the seat the woman offered her on the couch beside Chaewon. “Mom said she will try her best to come, we’re very thankful for your help yesterday and she wanted to say it personally.”

“Don’t need to thank me. You were there for Chae too, so I should be the one thanking you. Besides, winning arguments is Bona’s favorite thing in the world.” The older woman chuckled, passing her a mug full of a warm, brown liquid with the delicious smell of chocolate, she did the same to her daughter. “I hope you like it, it’s pretty much all I can do in the kitchen. But don’t feel pressured to drink it, we have soda and juice too.”

As a chocolate enthusiastic, Minjoo was more than happy to accept the drink and she made sure to shake her head vigorously before taking a sip. “It’s delicious!”

“She loves everything sweet, mom. And she is too polite to refuse anything you give her.” Chaewon intervene with a smirk, her nerves seemed to easy up the moment she set her eyes on the younger girl.

Minjoo eyes grew wide at the Chaewon’s words, it was a pretty accurate description of her but she indeed enjoyed the drink and she didn’t want Chaewon’s mom to have the wrong impression. “That’s true, but I really like hot chocolate!”

Luda let out another chuckle, amused at the teenagers behavior. “Me too. We should make some more after dinner then.” Giving the girl a reassuring look, she stood up from her seat and grabbed her laptop. “I’ll leave you two alone so you can enjoy the afternoon while I do some boring paperwork. Chae, why don’t you give her a tour first? We have snacks in the kitchen, grab anything you want.” With a small wave, she left them to go the small office down the corridor. Later she would have plenty of time to get to know the cute girl her daughter was so fond of, but right now she would let them have some privacy.

The girls exchanged a look, a small moment of awkwardness before Chaewon put away her hot chocolate and stand up. “Do you want to meet Banggu? She is probably at my room now.”

And for this, of course Minjoo’s answer was ‘yes’.

Banggu was actually trying to make her way downstairs when they found her, the cute white dog barking at her owner when she noticed the girls’ presence. “Minjoo, this loud girl is our Banggu. She is very nice, so you can pet her if you want to.” Chaewon introduced them, as she picked the dog into her arms to pet her.

The younger brunette beamed at the dog, her hands gently Banggu’s head as she greeted her with silent words ‘hello there, buddy!’. Just like Chaewon said, Banggu was very docile and closed her eyes lazily as she received the girls’ attention, allowing Chae to pass her over to the other girl so she could hold her a little.

Banggu was sleeping soundly on Minjoo’s arms when they finished touring the house – it was spacious and well decorated in light tones, with family pictures here and there and even some art pieces, Minjoo noticed a couple of special modifications that were designed to make Chaewon’s life easier, like the light over the front door. They stopped at Chaewon’s rooms, the owner opening the door to reveal it as Minjoo gently put Banggu on her bed on the floor.

“Here we’re. There’s nothing much to see, really.”

Chaewon’s room was neat – whether because its owner was a neat person or because she felt the need to organize it before Minjoo arrived, probably it was a bit of both.

The room was mainly white, a single mint-green wall where the headboard of her bed rested, bookshelves full of variety of titles adorned the other walls, and a study desk in a corner – there was a small board in the wall opposite it, there were some sticky-notes as well as some work notes and drawings…Her drawings, the ones she would give Chaewon once in a while and she never though the girl would keep it. Minjoo smiled at the sight of it, a fuzzy feeling in her chest. “You liked them!”

Her enthusiasm must’ve been clear on her face, because it made a light shade of pink tint Chaewon’s cheeks.

“I don’t throw away gifts.” The older Kim tried to shrug it off, averting her gaze from Minjoo and taking a seat by the edge of her bed – close to the three tiger plushies that she kept there, one for each member of the family as Jiyeon had told her when she gave them.

The taller brunette just shook her head slightly, smile still on her face. By now she already knew Chae’s nature a little too well – she was always kind and considerate of others, even though she rarely put her feelings into words when she did it was even more special. Last night was the proof of it and reason why Minjoo was having a hard time not mentioning it.

Moving to inspect one of the shelfs, she recognized a few familiar titles – Chae seem to enjoy fantasy books –, alongside academic books and on the top shelf there was a couple of awards and some pictures. Leaning in, Minjoo read the titles of the awards – diligence, creative writing, academic excellence…Just what she’d expect of Chae. The name of the school, though, surprised her. ‘Hanseok academy for the hearing impaired.’ Of course, it made sense that Chaewon frequented a school for people with the same kind of disability as hers, helping her to learn how to live with it in a society not projected for her.

“I studied there until high school. Thanks to it my sign is so good, they also taught me how to read lips and other things to help me deal with everything.” Chaewon explained, noticing Minjoo’s interested in her awards. She was enrolled in that school as soon as Luda and Jiyeon got her legal guard, and it was the first time she attended a real school, perhaps if she didn’t have such opportunity she wouldn’t be as independent and confident as she was now, remaining restricted to her hearing problems.

The only reason why she didn’t pick a similar high school was because she wanted to try going to a ‘normal’ one and she could do it by joining the same school her cousins attended and where she could rely on them if she ever needed to – she didn’t, thanks to them the two years she spent there were comfortable. “I went to a common high school before moving here. My cousins were there as well, but they graduated last year, so I didn’t mind switching again.” Standing up, she came closer to Minjoo to point out a specific picture. “This one is the cake enthusiastic that wouldn’t let me waste any food, and the duck-looking one is the chat-box that likes to talk as much as you do. They’re the best people I know, a little weird, but really nice.”

The smile on Minjoo’s face grew bigger as she stared at the picture that showed a happy Chaewon smiling to the camera alongside two other girls, the grin on her face was so bright and genuine that it surprised her a bit. She had never seen that smile before, and seeing it now in a still frame, made her want more than see it, but also be the reason behind it.

Her eyes travelled to the other pictures displayed, most of them were of Chaewon and her parents, her cousins and once in a while some older people, the scenarios were always different, but the calm, relaxed expression on her face was always the same – you could tell she was happy even when a smile wasn’t on her face, just the usual glint in her eyes and the confidence on her expression, it was there in every single image…Except one.

The picture frame was a little hide behind the other ones, but it was hard to miss. “May I?” She asked before picking up the frame to see it better.

Chaewon only nodded slowly, her chestnut eyes watching with attention as the taller brunette inspected the picture. She leaned against the shelf, crossing her arms in front of her chest as she waited for the question that was bound to come – or at least she expected it would.

It didn’t.

The younger Kim gently touched the paper, her fingerprints brushing against the edge of the picture as her chocolate brown eyes took in every detail. In some ways it was very similar to the others, just a picture of Chaewon and her parents, still there was something very different about this one. While Luda and Jiyeon had big smiles on their faces, the kid in front of them, so small and skinny, only had a blank expression – no glint in the eyes, no mischievous smirk on her face or confidence in her posture…It was Chaewon, but a very different version of the one she knew now. Minjoo narrowed her eyes, her gaze going from the picture to the others, as her mind came to the simple conclusion.

Carefully, she put the frame back in its place, her smile was now smaller and a little sad.

“How old were you?”

“Eight.” Chaewon’s lips curved into a faint smile. Kim Minjoo wasn’t like the others, she would never ask anything that might in any way bring her pain – even if it was long in the past and it was unnecessary to act like this wasn’t part of her story. That picture was the oldest one in the collection and pretty much the oldest picture of her, besides the ones used for the adoption papers – those she would rather to forget about. “I met Luda when I had just turned seven, she was working in a program that helps children with disabilities and such, that’s how she came to the orphanage to help me with my speech. The adoption process takes a long time, you know? Took them nearly a year to be able to take me home and this is our first family picture.” She explained even if Minjoo didn’t ask. It wasn’t her favorite topic, after all it made her remember about some unpleasant aspects of her past, but remembering her first months with her parents soothed the pain. She wanted to open up to Minjoo, this was a first step to do so. “A pretty awkward one. Back then I guess I was just…Afraid…Of everything.”

It was easy to portrait a younger Chaewon afraid of the new life she was about to face, of the people she still didn’t fully know and of everything that could happen once they were no longer in the place she used to call home…Minjoo herself had a tough childhood, but her mother was always there for her and she couldn’t imagine her life any other way, therefore she could only imagine how difficult was for Chae to learn to trust these people and adapt to the new world they represented.

Shrugging her shoulders, Chaewon tried to downplay her confession, giving Minjoo a stiff smile. “What about we start those movies now? I guess we can see at least one before mom arrives and starts to make you hundreds of questions.”

Returning her smile with one of her own, Minjoo just nodded in agreement. She had a lot to say, a big part of her just wanted to give the little Chaewon that still inhabited her friend a big hug and let her know how glad she was that things turned out well, how happy she was to know that that little kid became such a strong and kind person.

Nonetheless, she didn’t want to push Chaewon, so instead of it, she only gave her hand a gentle squeeze hoping it was enough for her feeling reach her – she didn’t let go of her hand until they were comfortably sat on the couch at the living room; If Chae didn’t like, she didn’t show, only breaking the contact to search for the TV’S remote.

Minjoo had brought some movies for them – luckily for Chaewon she didn’t have any Pokémon DVDs laying around her house or else they might end up watching a whole season and having a Pikachu on her cheek was already too much for her –, the Studio Ghibli ones that she had told her about before.

Chaewon didn’t really enjoyed watching TV, she didn’t go near the device often and she would only seat to watch something when her mothers would drag her for a family night – similar to that, she had agreed on watching it to make Minjoo happy and by the brunette looked so excited describing all the movies before asking her to pick one, Chaewon knew she had made the right decision.

With the lights out and the curtains closed, they sat comfortably in the big, fluffy couch in front of the TV, with bags of chips and chocolate – Chaewon was sure her mother had kept it hidden until this day – and drinks in hand. Chae tried to focus on the first few scenes of the movie, keeping a smirk on her face as she noticed Minjoo’s demeanor – she looked like an excited kid, her gaze going back and forth from the screen to Chaewon’s face, and it was visible she was trying her best to not starting gesturing and talking about every single thing she loved in the movie and what she thought Chaewon would like too.

After ten minutes or so of this, Chae could barely pay attention to the screen, so distracted by the other girl. Tentatively, she reached out to touch Minjoo’s soft hand. “Go ahead and talk. Just try to not spoil the whole thing.” She encouraged the girl, letting go of her hand so she could freely sign – watching the movie while also paying Minjoo attention would be a challenge, but she didn’t mind it. Chae liked this pure, almost childish, and adorable version of Minjoo, this one that felt comfortable enough to just be herself, without worrying about anyone else’s judgment.

The taller brunette bit down on her bottom lip, hesitating. Minjoo wanted to share all her love for the movies, infect Chaewon with her enthusiasm and make their afternoon a fun, memorable time – still, she didn’t want to annoy the other with her overexcitement. “I don’t want to ruin the experience for you.”

“Having you here is what makes the experience special.” The words came out of easily and it took a moment for Chaewon to realized how cheesy she must’ve sounded, embarrassment filled her bringing a pink shade to color her ears and it would also have reached her face as well, if she didn’t see the smile bright up Minjoo’s expression again – then suddenly it didn’t matter if she was making a fool out of herself, as long as Minjoo was okay with it.

Like it seemed to be her special talent, Chae’s words were enough to put her at ease, making Minjoo put aside her silly worries and enjoy her childish excitement. “Then we can pause it once in a while to make sure you won’t miss out anything because of me.” She would do the best to make her favorite movies justice, without missing out the fun of commenting it and observing Chaewon’s reactions to the different nuances of the story.

Bringing a hand to her warm ear, Chaewon adjusted her hearing aid and nodded, a small smile that couldn’t be repressed was on her face as she felt Minjoo coming closer to sit beside her and start her first – of many – explanations about the movie, and although Chaewon had missed out on the first twenty minutes of it, she tried her best to pay attention to her words.

Whether it was because the movie was indeed good – and it was, she had to admit it – or it was because she was just too engrossed observing Minjoo’s expressive face as she described everything with so much detail, coming up with new signs here and there to make up for the ones she didn’t know, by the end of the movie, Chaewon was utterly in love – with the story and with Minjoo’s genuine enthusiasm about it.

“How did you like it? I know you don’t like animations that much, but I never met someone who didn’t like this movie before. Even my granny used to watch it with me.” Minjoo asked when the credits were over, the expectant look on her face making her resemble a puppy – how could Chaewon tell her that she liked her better than the movie?

“It’s nice. Better than the books I’ve been reading lately.” She answered honestly, only leaving out that her liking had more to do with Minjoo’s presence than the actual movie. How dependent of the other girl’s presence and smile she had become? It was ironic to think that at first it was Minjoo who would follow her around, but now here they were, and she could only think about how much she liked this simple moment. “Definitely better than Pokémon, that’s for sure!” Adding this to break her own sappy line of thoughts, she gave Minjoo a smirk. “I was always a Digimon lover, so you and mom can stop trying to corrupt me.”

With a small, slightly disappointed pout, Minjoo accepted her loss. Her disappointment didn’t seem to last long, her pout turning into a tentative smile as she asked. “I saw many fantasy books on your room. I never thought you’d like this genre that much. You always seemed more like a…” Lowering her hands, she looked for the right way to express it. Sometimes it was complicated to define things, be it because she lacked the knowledge to use her hands to express it, or because she couldn’t quite grasp some things – in this sense she wasn’t different than most people. Minjoo liked to think she had learned a lot about Chaewon in the time they spent together, to think that she knew her better than most people, still there was so much to know about the other girl – even small stuff like her personal preference in books.

“More like what? You thought I liked criminal novels?” Chae’s smirk turned into a light chuckle, she wouldn’t be surprised if Minjoo thought she was a horror lover, after all their tastes rarely matched in anything.

Minjoo nodded. “You always seem so down-to-earth.” Painfully realist, balancing out Minjoo’s optimistic self way too well. “I thought you’d hate this kind of thing.”

“Those are just books though. I love them exactly because it’s so different.” It was Chae’s turn to nod, her chestnut eyes shining with the glint. Of course, when it comes down to life, she would always pick the more realistic options and try to work with them the best way she could, she would always presume the worst and prepare for it – maybe she was more of a pessimist in this sense. “I like to know that I can find a place where everything is possible and can have a happy ending, since in life we can’t always have it.” Resting her back against the couch, she tilted her head a bit to lock eyes with Minjoo. “Although I guess maybe things that seem impossible can happen in real life too. After all, we’re here now.” It was a vague statement, ‘here’ could mean a lot of things: this house, being there together and sharing this moment, their current lives that were so different than what they used to be just a couple of weeks ago…It was probably all of it.

A fond smile made its way to Minjoo’s face as she reached out to touch gently the Band-Aid on Chaewon’s cheek, her fingers brushing against the sensitive skin. No, it wasn’t like in the books, their wounds – inside and out – were real, their pain was still present and life wouldn’t magically become easy with a simple snap of fingers, however, each other’s presence could and was changing things and this was enough for Minjoo to label it as miraculous. “Yes, we’re.” Thanks to you, she added mentally. “I think you made me believe it again. Believe in my own version of angels, the ones without wings, only Pokémon bandages and hearing-aids.” There were no magic solutions, no mystery worlds and secret powers, still, she couldn’t help but think that to some extent there was a little bit of magic – their own, genuine and pure, bond that was as rare and special.

Chaewon let out a weak chuckle, but she didn’t downplay her words, nor tried to act cool about it. Instead, she rested her hand on top of Minjoo’s, keeping it in place, the chestnut eyes looking for the dark chocolate ones. “Maybe you’re right. I think I have my own version as well.” She averted her eyes to the direction of the office where her mother was still working. Squeezing her hand lightly, she looked back at the girl. “I’m ready to tell you now, Min.”

Minjoo’s expression became solemn and she brought their hands down to her lap, holding Chaewon’s hand between her warmer ones, before giving a firm nod. She was listening.

With a deep breath, Chaewon intertwined their fingers, giving the brunette a faint smile before starting to talk.

Hearing was supposed to be a given, but it wasn’t for Chaewon. Many things weren’t.

Born from a teenager girl who couldn’t possibly know how to take care of a baby with special needs, her dad was long gone leaving behind any responsibility, all she ever knew was the thin walls of their precarious apartment in a building in the depths of the not-so-glamorous side of the town. Those walls that allowed the noise from the next door’s neighbors activities to be heard, and smelled like mold and some cleaning product mom would throw at it once in a while to try and prevent the mold from growing too much, were simultaneously Chaewon’s safe heaven and hell.

The small, almost bare, living room with the even smaller kitchen at the end of it, and a bedroom she shared with her mother – that was all that was to it, all they could afford having. She used to sleep beside her mom in the big bed, but eventually she received her own bed – narrow, with a thin mattress that was always covered by her tiger patterned sheets; it wasn’t comfortable, yet it made her feel a little safer.

Mom didn’t spend much time with her, always busy working outside the house to tend to her kid. Most kids would miss her parent’s presence, however Kim wasn’t an average kid. At age five – nearly six, she liked to count the days to her birthday using the calendar mother would keep in the refrigerator’s door –, she wasn’t enrolled in kindergarten, nor any kind of activity for children her age. Instead, she only had this apartment and the things on it to keep her company during the long hours mom would be away working.

Chaewon created her own little routine. She would grab the food that mom would leave at the counter – sometimes she would forget to leave anything, but it was okay, Chaewon knew where to find things in the refrigerator, albeit she didn’t like eating cold food, she wouldn’t dare to make mom mad by using the stove – and take her place next to the big, old tube television they had in the living room. The TV was her favorite item in the house, the one thing that connected her to the outside world.

She would turn the volume all the way up, making it louder than the noises of her neighbors arguing, and keep her eyes glued to the screen so she could be able to pay attention to every detail.

Her right ear was able to capture loud noises, meanwhile her left one seem to be always clogged up, unable to let any sound in. Around a year ago, mother had taken her to a community center where they were holding some sort of event with a bunch of people in white coats and annoyed looks, these people had given her a yellowish device to help with her hearing – an outdated hearing-aid that was a little too big for her ears. The device allowed her to hear a little better with her right ear, allowing her to actually be able to distinguish people’s voice in the TV and pick up some of the more subtle sound – it would also act up sometimes, making the sounds a little too high for her to the point it was painful and she would have to leave the device aside for the day. It was her first time having a real chance at learning their language, to connect the movements from people’s mouth to the sound they produced, allowing her to try and repeat it herself – it was uncoordinated, her pitch all over the place and her words barely understandable, but it made her happy.

Sometimes she would run to mom – in one of the days the woman would come home early enough – and try to show her improvement, and then mother would ruffle her hair softly and tell her she was doing good, that in the weekend she would help Chaewon to learn more words – the weekends never really come, even when the TV would tell Chae that it did, mother wouldn’t be here with her for it. However, she would never complain, just wish that someday it would arrive.

At five you wouldn’t expect much from her, after all a kid this age should be carefree, full of curiosity and willing to push barriers with hundreds of questions and requests. But then again, Chaewon wasn’t a normal child – and it had little to do with her bad hearing. Living with mom had taught her to be cautious, living without mom taught her to grow up faster and to know her limits.

Mom was the only person she would see often, the only face she could recall properly besides the ones she would see on TV and the old nanny that used to take care of her when she was still a baby. Still, mother had many faces to her – and not all of them liked her very much.

Chaewon’s favorite face was her mother’s happy one, the one that looked bright with a smile that would make even her tired face beautiful and turn her chestnut eyes as light as Chaewon’s. This face appeared less and less often through the years, still the little girl would wait for it. She would wait for her mother’s tender smile and her gentle touch ruffling her hair. She loved her voice here the most, it was light and high pitched, her words gentle as she would ask Chae to help her make dinner for the two of them. When mom was happy, she would allow her climb onto her bed and hug her to sleep – unfortunately it never last long.

Mom’s usual face wasn’t as pleasant, she always had her lips twisted into a scowl, deep lines ruining her pretty features, eyes dull of any light. This mom was the one that would shout at her and get mad easily, she would usually just spare her an annoyed glance before sending her off to bed without dinner – Chaewon was used to it by now, at first she would feel tormented by the hunger, but now she would easily fall into a slumber after biting onto one of the snacks she would hide under her mattress; the snacks were ‘happy’ mom’s gifts.

However, the face that Chaewon liked the least, was one that recently appeared, the one side of mom she was truly afraid of. ‘Scary mom’ was the one that would arrive late at home, her face demoted of expression and eyes like black, empty pools. Scary mother is the one side that appears more and more often now, and it's what makes Chaewon hate being so bad at hearing to notice when she arrives. When mother is like this she would rudely grab and shake her by the arms, if she notices Chaewon did something 'bad' there will be a lot of purple marks tainting the child’s skin in the next day.

This side of mom made her flinch on her seat whenever she saw the woman now, becoming wary of her even in her happy days – Chaewon didn’t risk climbing onto her bed anymore, afraid mother would change during night and get mad at her for being there. Every night she would wait for the woman on her seat on the carpet in front of the TV, not knowing who she would have to face that day.

Chaewon was too young to understand what was really happening, to understand that all these sides of mom were just consequences of her falling deeper and deeper into alcoholism. Her mother wasn’t a bad person at first, but years of working unforgiven hours for money that was barely enough to support them, forced her to turn to alcohol for consolation and it evolved quickly to something far worse. ‘Happy’ mother was nothing but the shadow of the woman she was once, now ruined and broken, there was no longer space on her mind and heart for the naïve and optimistic girl she was once – it wasn’t Chaewon’s fault, she was a good kid, but raising her proved to be a burden too heavy for the woman.

By the time she turned six, instead of a birthday cake or a hug, she received as a gift only the knowledge that things were becoming even worse. ‘Happy’ mom didn’t appear anymore, giving place only to the other sides of the woman, sides that seem to hold big grudges against Chaewon’s very own existence.

Now instead of waiting for mom every night, she would turn off the TV and head to their room early, she would crawl into a ball and hide behind her blanket, wishing for sleep to come soon, so mother wouldn’t be mad at her for finding her still awake – most of the time it worked, but sometimes not even this was enough – the last time her lips turned into a funny shade of red and grew so big she couldn't eat properly.

Chae would take off her hearing-aid, hoping that the silence could comfort her, but instead, she was only met by her own inner thoughts that insisted on replaying again and again her bad memories. It became harder to fall asleep.

“Chaewon.” The woman’s voice was too low for her to hear even with her hearing-aid on, something that her mother knew all too well. Still, her lack of answer seemed to annoy her. “Kim Chaewon!” It was louder now, loud enough for Chaewon’s ears to pick up traces of her voice – enough for her to feel the rage on it.

Chaewon shivered under her thin blanket, shutting her eyes tightly close when she noticed that the lights on the room were now on and she could spot her mother’s silhouette by the door. Maybe if she stayed very still, mom would give up on finding her, maybe if she prayed hard enough she could bring back ‘happy’ mom for once, maybe…

But hope is never well awarded, it was another lesson she learned.

Her blanket was roughly pushed aside, revealing her small, shaky body, to the woman that stared at her with so much rage and hatred. “You messed with the TV again, didn’t you? You little piece of , I told you to not touch it!” The harsh words were said through her teeth, making it impossible for the kid to understand what she said – she didn’t need to, seeing the black pools filled with anger that were her mother’s eyes were enough to let Chaewon know there was no escape now.

She was rudely grabbed by the arm, her delicate skin bruising under the tight grip as her mother forced her to be on her knees.

“I’m s-sorry, mom! So sorry! P-Please!” Chaewon begged, her words coming out all wrong, her voice muffled by the tears she couldn’t hold in anymore – she knew how things would end, still she begged, still she tried her best for even the tiniest chance of being saved.

“Sorry? You shouldn’t have done it then!” She felt more than heard her words, seeing her mother’s distorted face through her tears. Although she knew it was coming, she was still caught by surprised by the impact of her mother’s palm against her face, hard enough to make her head bounce on her shoulders. “You bring me nothing but trouble! Because of you I live in this hellhole! And for what? A half deaf brat?!” The second hit came right after the first, making her already red cheek become a deep hue of burgundy that would soon give place to the sickly purple color all her bruises had.

Somewhere through that hell of night, her tiger sheets were colored red with droplets of her blood, her hearing aid long gone from her ear thanks to an especially strong slap – it didn’t matter, Chaewon didn’t need to hear what her mother was saying, the marks on her body would be enough of a reminder for a long time.

Chaewon didn’t remember falling asleep that night, her conscious lost before she could try to plead for mercy again.

All she could recall was waking up to a bunch of people in her room, a tall man looking at her with a expression she couldn’t define – pity, she would understand someday – before giving her a small smile, and gently picking her up in his arms. The pain in her body made her wince and soon she had fell unconscious again.

Perhaps her pleads weren’t completely useless, or maybe her mother’s shouts were so loud that even their noise neighbors were disturbed; Whatever reason it was, someone had finally called for help and the tall man was a police officer, the rest of the people were from the social service. That night was her last one in the apartment and the last time she ever saw her birth mother.

“I was sent to an orphanage after it. Around one year later Luda found me and you know the rest.” Shrugging her shoulders like she always does whenever she was trying to feign indifference, she finished the story as if she had just read a boring monologue from a school book, not her own personal trauma that left permanent scars in her life.

She reached out to grab one of the cans of soda, but Minjoo pulled her back before she could, using their joint hands to bring her closer to a hug so tight that it almost knocked the air out of her lungs. Chaewon didn’t try to push her away, her body stiff as she tried to fight the hot tears trying to make its way down her face – she failed to, but not before Minjoo’s warm tears made her shoulder wet, the younger girl’s body shaking with her sobs.

Minjoo hadn’t cried for her own broken past, yet she couldn’t stop herself from breaking down now. Long before Chae’s story was over, the tears were already there, her heart aching more and more until it was broken in pieces. Knowing her story made it easy to understand why the girl decided to protect her when no one else would – Chaewon knew this feeling deeply, she knew what it was like to be helpless and desperate, much more than Minjoo ever had been. More than this, knowing it, made her admire and appreciate even more the person her friend was, she could have become a cold, cruel person, using her traumas as an excuse to also become an abusive person, yet she didn’t fall victim of her mother’s curse. If before she thought Chaewon was her guardian angel, now she was sure that she was her own miracle.

She felt Chaewon’s hands on her back, gentle and warm, patting lightly as she tried to comfort her when it should be the other way around. Minjoo sobbed even harder, burying her face on the crock of Chae’s neck as she let out all the pain on her chest. She knew the other Kim probably didn’t want her pity, that she would rather to ignore it and pretend it wasn’t big deal, but Minjoo couldn’t simply do that. For the last time she would cry for Chaewon – together with her, allowing her to ease the burden of the past and comfort her the same she was doing to her –, and from now she would promise herself to be one to protect the girl like she had protected her, to be the one to keep her safe from the monsters of the past and the fears of the present, from the uncertainty of the future and the pains it may bring – she would there for her, and even if they can’t always win, she would still be there to help her to face everything and get back at her feet after every battle.

If there was a moment she wished to have her own voice, this moment was now. She wished to be able to give her comforting words and pour out of her feelings on it without letting go of this embrace. Nonetheless, she still couldn’t find her voice, so she had to find another way to do it.

Pulling away only enough to be able to face her, she managed to give Chaewon a shaky smile, the tears ruining it as she tried to control her sobs. Chaewon wasn’t in a very different state, her beautiful eyes red with tears, the chestnut of her orbs tainted by the sadness and pain, but still she tried to return the smile and say something – Minjoo didn’t let her, only shaking her head ever so slightly.

Minjoo leaned in to rest her forehead against Chaewon’s, her soft eyes on hers, so open to allow Chaewon to fall into them, into all the fondness and infinite care they were filled with – there was pain too, the same kind of pain she felt yesterday hearing Minjoo’s story, the one that is born from the frustration of being unable to be there and help someone you love when they need the most; none of them could back then. But it didn’t mean this feeling was useless, somehow knowing someone else also carries about your struggles makes it a bit easier to keep going, it helps you to grow and become stronger. Right now, they both were relying on each other, sharing their burdens so they could also share their happiness and turn this sob story into a happy ending – their own version of one.

Managing to control her tears, she closed her eyes and allowed herself to just enjoy the warmth coming from Minjoo, the feeling of love and safety that having her closer brought, letting it fill her up and wash away the memories that insisted on haunting her even after her parents had given her so many good ones to replace it.

When Chaewon opened her eyes, she was met by a Minjoo who was still crying, silent tears leaving her eyes that were so bright with something new now – she could tell what the feeling was, because she felt the same in the moment; she didn’t think it would ever go away. Minjoo leaned in to kiss her cheek, her lips light as father, still the small contact carried so much meaning.

Bringing her closer again, Chae hugged Minjoo – carefully and tenderly this time, her touch light as she caressed her long hair and found her safe place on the girl’s shoulder again. Minjoo did the same, leaving a sweet, butterfly-like, kisses on her shoulder.

They stood there for a long time, so long that Chaewon eventually lost the track of it.

Luda found the girls sleeping soundly on the couch one hour later, their bodies entangled as they hugged each other even in their sleep, heads close and faint smiles on their faces – she didn’t miss the marks of tears on their cheeks. Smiling fondly at them, she left the room with light steps, allowing them to sleep peacefully for a little longer.

Minjoo’s mother should arrive in less than two hours and Jiyeon would be home soon – she would surely love capturing this moment with her camera and would most likely end up waking them up. But for now, Luda would allow them to have their moment without nosy parents, something told her these kids needed this time and she would gladly give them.

Taking a seat by her desk, she looked at the picture frame that displayed a much younger version of Chaewon with sharp, wary eyes – the first picture she ever had from her daughter, the one they gave to her alongside her medical file. Her smile grew bigger as she looked at the other picture, taken just a couple of weeks ago.

Her daughter surely had grown up well.

A/N: Hello there! My original plan was for this chapter to have a lot more going on, but it was getting too long and I wanted to give Chae’s story proper attention.  The flashback scene was actually the first scene I wrote for this story, so I’m a little nervous about you guys reaction to it.

From now on the story will change a bit as we’re getting close to the ending, one or two more chapters to go. I’ll try to wrap up the plot nicely, so you guys can expect a lighter atmosphere, time for a bit of fluffy I guess ;)

Thank you all for the supporting this story, I’m really sorry for all the mistakes here and I hope it was an enjoyable reading. See you soon!