At 10:34 AM, inside the four walls of the sunlit office of a person of respected position, the two women were introduced to one another.

“Nurse Yoo, please welcome Doctor Park Jihyo, an addition to our growing team of cardiothoracic surgeons. Doctor Park, meet Nurse Yoo Jeongyeon, our head nurse for the operating room unit.” Director Lee of Lee Hospital Group formally introduced, his eyes boring against the visages of the females.

The both of them sat in silence, refusing to look at one another except for that one time earlier when Jeongyeon entered the room only to meet the wide and ever alluring eyes of the other female.

 Somehow, in the back of her mind, Jeongyeon is convinced that looking at the woman one more time will just cause her nothing else but devastation, the apathy that she had long built slowly crumbling beneath her calm expression.

The Director mildly cleared his throat before setting his eyes on the nurse, “Miss Yoo, if it wouldn’t be too much of an errand, may I leave it to you to take care of Doctor Park until she had fully settled in our hospital?” The man spoke authoritatively, Jeongyeon wasn’t really in the place to say no after all.

She spoke, “No problem, Sir, I shall see to it that Doctor Park will be comfortable in our setting.” Accompanying her words with a small smile.

In return, he gave an approving nod before turning to the doctor, “Nurse Yoo is a very capable woman, Doctor Park, if you are in need of assistance please do not hesitate to ask her.” Director Lee said with a warm smile towards the newly hired, earning a small smile and a polite nod from Jihyo.

 

“You’re really not proceeding to medical school?” the younger of the two asked in which she received a chuckle and a shaking of the head as an answer.

Jeongyeon turned her head to face the smaller lady, “The world already has a lot of people undergoing pre-medical studies then proceed to medical school, I don’t think I need to add to that count of a billion people.”

Jihyo nodded her head in understanding nevertheless, keeping herself close to the taller female as they walked through the park against the gentle afternoon wind. One arm hooked around the arm of Jeongyeon and the other securely holding a cone of cookies and cream.

“Besides, I like the idea of being a nurse. Now that I think about it, I think I like it a bit too much to replace it with being a doctor.”

The two walked in a comfortable pace, enjoying the silence as yellow leaves would drift near their feet, indicating the coming of fall season. Jihyo nibbled on her ice cream while Jeongyeon decided it would be wiser and way worth for the price to get the dairy treat in a cup. Though afternoon, the taller of the two opted to order a coffee flavored one.

“Isn’t it funny how you always end up ordering for coffee ice cream but then you do not even drink coffee?” The younger asked in a giddy state, watching the other take a spoonful of ice cream from her cup before eating it.

Jeongyeon smiled, “I’ll drink coffee it’s from you.”

“Yeah, with a teaspoon of cream and three of sugar?”

The head nurse closed the door as soon as the doctor stepped outside to the hallways, gently pulling it to a full close.

Before she could even open to speak, she was greeted with the sight of the doctor’s back, and suddenly the female found herself at the state of loss of words.

“Doctor Park,” She finally called out before taking her steps to be able to stand at a respectable distance by the side of the female, “Shall we start?”

Jihyo ever so slightly tilted her head up, despite wearing heels and the fact that Nurse Yoo is only wearing the hospital standard white nursing shoes, “With all due respect, Nurse Yoo, if you are having difficulties fulfilling your duties I am more than okay if you would like to resign from your assignment.”

“Oh wow.”

Were two words ringing through Jeongyeon’s mind as she couldn’t help but to release a light scoff, “The respect is more than accepted, Doctor Park, but the mere fact that you are the first to bring something up of such nature leads me to believe that you are the one uncomfortable with the setup.” The nurse spoke eloquently, “So let me ask you instead, would you like me to resign from my assignment?” Jeongyeon finished, her eyes maintaining contact with hers, unwilling to break the staredown that naturally developed between the two females.

It was visible how the doctor clenched her jaw in what Jeongyeon could only assume out of annoyance or perhaps frustration, nevertheless Jihyo was the one to break the eye contact by releasing a sigh. A sigh not even out of defeat, a fact that mildly displeases Jeongyeon.

 

“College has really been taking a toll on you?” Jeongyeon heard the voice of the female through her phone speaker, having just started a video call with her partner.

The female’s eyes then directed to the screen of her phone, seeing how Jihyo has already laid herself on her bed, blanket comfortably wrapping her to protect her from the cold weather. The sight made the student smile, “You know how difficult it is to maintain the scholarship.” She simply spoke, indirectly answering the female’s question, “You should be sleeping soon, love, there’s no reason for you to be staying up late.”

“I wanted to sleep at the same time with you, you know that.” Jihyo rebutted, now pouting to further emphasize her point. Eventually, the pout turned into a small smile before lightly chuckling, “But I know you most likely have major exams tomorrow, so I won’t disturb you too much now, okay? Go to sleep soon, please?”

Jeongyeon nodded at the female, still sporting the smile on her lips, “Go sleep well. You always make me proud, don’t forget that. I love you!” she said, watching Jihyo yawn through the screen.

Jihyo smiled after, “Thank you so much, love, I love you too!” she replied before Jeongyeon’s screen went back to her homescreen wallpaper: a photo of Jihyo sporting a wide smile.

The smile on the college student slowly faded as she sighed, her mind that was filled with notes on organic chemistry now suddenly filled with a lot of what ifs and a decision that needs to be made.

Jeongyeon placed her forehead against the surface of the table, sighed once more,

“She’s in ing highschool, Yoo Jeongyeon, what the are you doing.”

“Will you be conducting rounds through wards?” Jeongyeon asked the doctor as they walked, now exiting the intensive care unit of the hospital as they just came from viewing the cardiology station of the hospital.

Jihyo gave a stern nod, “It’s of utmost importance after all,” She answered, “The operating doctor should be the one to check up on the patients.”

This made the nurse amused, “Well then, I regrettably have to inform you that in the near future, you are to conduct your rounds with me.” Jeongyeon told her, causing the sudden pause of steps of the doctor.

Jeongyeon paused as well before slightly turning her body, looking at the doctor who just stood frozen, looking directly at her. The nurse chuckled, lifting an arm seemingly to point at something,

“I’ll assume you now know your way from your personal office to here. That is the nurse’s lounge, shall you be needing something from a nurse you can just go ahead and call on your office telephone using the speed dial 3, 1 will hit you up to the emergency number and 2 will ring the director’s room.”

The taller of the two managed to explain nevertheless and all she was greeted with is a dead straight stare from the doctor,

“Is that all I am to you? Regret?” Jihyo asked, her words carrying a stone-cold tone, filled with all kinds of emotions that Jeongyeon couldn’t even pinpoint.

And in the middle of the peaceful hospital hallway, an internal war has broken out in Jeongyeon’s mind, knowing full well what her answer truly is but not finding enough courage to tell her.

Even after getting her specialized registered nurse status, getting the team leader position of the operating room nursing unit, even after seeing through countless of torsos cut open during surgery, through the calm demeanor.

Jeongyeon is still a coward;

She has always been a coward.

Instead of answering, the nurse placed her hands inside of the pockets of her hospital scrub suit, walking to enter the nurse’s lounge as an indication that their little tour is now over. However, she found herself pausing after walking a few steps from the doctor. Jeongyeon turned around, searched for the doctor’s eyes, though unnecessary because Jihyo’s eyes are already fixated on hers.

“The only regret I have is not being by your side as you went on to grab the Dr. prefix and MD suffix of your name, I cannot tell through words the emotions that surged through me when I saw you inside of the director’s office,”

Breathe.

“Welcome to Lee Hospital Group, Ji. I told you fate has always liked playing its twisted games.”

“General Surgery on its own is already an amazing feat, you know. You wanna up it to be a cardiothoracic surgeon?” Jeongyeon asked the younger female.

Once more, they’re at the park near Jihyo’s house, sitting on the bench provided by the area with their hands intertwined.

Jihyo giggled and nodded, “You think I can’t do it?” she playfully asked the older, giving a pout which caused the other woman to grin.

“Of course, you can do it.” Jeongyeon assured the female, the grin on her lips enough to warm Jihyo.

This caused the smaller to blush, she playfully nudged the other’s shoulder, “I was kidding, love, you didn’t have to go out of your way to insert such a cheesy line.”

The grin on Jeongyeon’s mouth upgraded to a light laughter, “I’m not kidding though, I mean it. You’ll be a great surgeon; I just know it. Because you’re going to be a surgeon, I’ll specialize to be an operating room nurse then, so that I’ll be able to assist you.”

A glimmer can be seen in the eyes of Jihyo as she looked at her lover dreamily, “Are you sure? Why not become a cardiothoracic surgeon with me?” she started, “By the time you’ll be getting your MD title, I’ll be graduating from my pre-med education. Then I’ll have a girlfriend who can teach me all the things I need to learn!” Jihyo even added, lightly laughing at her suggestion.

“Hey, even without me teaching you, you can still do it, you know?” Jeongyeon rebutted, lightly laughing along the younger, “You are an amazing woman after all, very wise and intelligent.” She attached. “For now though, you have to graduate highschool first, silly.”

This time, Jihyo whined out loud, busying herself as she glided her thumb along the back of the hand of the older, “Can we just skip to when I’m already a doctor.” She sighed, leaning her head against the shoulder of the taller.

The sight made Jeongyeon soft, “You’ll be tired after a surgery though, Doctor, what shall I do?”

Jihyo faked a thinking expression, “I know what I’ll do to you though! I’ll fix you some coffee.”

“That sounds amazing but then I was asking what will I do, silly.”

“Give me a hug and a kiss on the forehead? Would that be too much to ask?”

A kiss on the crown of Jihyo’s head,

“No, love, not at all.”

“Operation will be installation of a ventricular assist device on the left ventricle of a 43-year-old male waiting for a compatible organ for heart surgery.” Jeongyeon reported as she flipped through the chart of the patient, standing in front of the desk of the doctor in charge.

The nurse looked up only to see the doctor in a daze, playing with her fingers by fumbling on it, “Doctor Park?” she called out, causing the other to visibly snap out of the trance that she was in.

“I heard you, apologies.” Jihyo spoke, straightening her posture and exhaling a deep breath, “Please tell me the schedule for this.”

Jeongyeon nodded, flipping a page back to the front for the details, “It shall start tomorrow morning, necessary preparations are already undergoing as we speak. Patient is being served his evening meal in preparation for tomorrow. An anesthesiologist is already informed of the schedule and is on standby.” She read clearly for the doctor, “Surgery duration may be as early as three hours, with six hours as the latest.” Jeongyeon finished.

She looked to the doctor once more, watching as she exhaled another deep breath before receiving a nod, “Good job, Nurse Yoo. Please leave the chart and I shall examine it further; you may leave now.” Jihyo stated and with only that, Jeongyeon neatly placed the chart at top of her desk, bowing before leaving the room.

The doctor inhaled deeply, wanting to clear out her thoughts in preparation for the procedure. This is certainly not the first time she has to conduct an open-heart surgery but it still feels new every time, she would feel all of the pressure of the trust the patient and their family has entrusted her. Suddenly she’s just expected to open a person up, literally open a person up, and to have a high success rate every time. She does have faith in her abilities but what she’s afraid of is disappointing those who believe in her abilities as well.

“Excuse me,” was heard from the doorframe, causing Jihyo to look up to the entrance of the room, there stood Jeongyeon with a pink mug on hand. Jeongyeon gave a polite nod before entering the room, placing the mug down,

“Don’t stay up too late.” Was all she said before bowing once more, exiting the room.

Jihyo need not to look at the contents of the mug to know that it is coffee, what caught her attention was the purple sticky note attached to it.

“I am more than proud of you — I have always been.”

The heavy downpour of the rain grazed the windows of the house, the digital clock reads 20:14 when Jihyo gently placed a purple mug a safe distance from the papers and notes piled on the dining table of the younger one’s home,

“Thank you for coming at such a short notice, love, I’m sorry for asking you to stay over in a rush.” Jihyo apologized, taking the seat beside Jeongyeon’s; the other girl still wearing her university white uniform to indicate that she is a pre-medical student.

Jeongyeon smiled as pulled the younger one closer for a hug, both for warmth and to secure the female, “No worries I understand why you asked me to stay over.” She said, thumb caressing the shoulder of Jihyo, “You’re scared of the thunder, I’ll be more worried if you were left alone anyways.”

“My parents won’t be back until tomorrow afternoon; I’ll be worried if I was left alone as well.” She said with a chuckle, feeling herself relax against Jeongyeon’s embrace.

The both of them stayed in each other’s arms in silence, the sound of rain hitting the roof filled the room, as the fragrance of the coffee wafted through the air.

“You’re not really getting anything done right now, are you?” Jihyo started yet buried herself further inside of the embrace, “You need to study for tomorrow.”

“I do need to study for tomorrow.” Jeongyeon replied, leaving a gentle kiss on the crown of Jihyo’s head, “But this is way too comfortable, it’s such a shame to leave this hug.” She finished.

Another minute of silence shared.

And the roaring of the thunder crashed through.

Jihyo squealed inside of Jeongyeon’s embrace, slightly trembling in fear, but Jeongyeon tightened her grasp around her lover. She lowly hummed and hushed the female, feeling Jihyo starting to relax under her touch.

“I’m here, I’m here, calm down, you got nothing to worry about.” She whispered in assurance to Jihyo, a statement that she has been slowly repeating in order to calm the female down.

Jihyo gently sighed, “Thank you, love.” She murmured against the crook of Jeongyeon’s neck.

Instead of a reply, all Jeongyeon did was continue her tight hold around the shorter female as her eyes laid on the purple mug that Jihyo had placed on top of the table earlier, noticing that there was a pink sticky note affixed on it.

“I am more than proud of you — I have always been.”

 The late hours have seeped in yet the doctor is still awake, still wearing her hospital coat, as she just finished her rounds in the intensive care unit.

Jihyo returned to her office, it’s not the first time that she conducted her checkups on her patients alone but it certainly is a different feeling compared to either being alone or being accompanied by a different nurse.

She decided to head to the nurse’s lounge, seeing a few familiar faces but not the face that became her reason of going to the area to.

“Oh, good evening, Doctor Park,” A nurse called to her, causing Jihyo to turn her head towards the source of the greeting, seeing that it is coming from someone who she has encountered a few times but not enough to be called a colleague.

The female smiled towards the nurse, “Good evening, Nurse Im, is Head Nurse Yoo around?” she asked.

Nurse Im paused for a while, in a fashion which caused a slight distortion in Jihyo’s emotions, was the nurse flustered? Perhaps... giddy?

“Jeong— Nurse Yoo is assisting in an ongoing orthopedic surgery, Doctor Park,”

Jeong?

 “It’s an osteotomy procedure to reduce pain due to osteoarthritis, she’ll be finished soon I suppose.” The nurse finished.

Jihyo gave a smile and nodded, “Thank you so much, Nurse Im.” She said before turning around to go back to her office, heading to the hospital cafe.

An hour and a half ticked in before Jihyo made her way back to the nurse’s lounge, Jeongyeon’s pink mug in hand with a purple sticky note attached.

At the doorframe, she saw Nurse Yoo laughing with Nurse Im, the other nurse lovingly giving the head nurse a pat on the head before rubbing her back.

The doctor contemplated, instantly freezing on her spot despite holding a hot mug of coffee, detaching the fixed note from the ceramic and placing it inside the pocket of her coat, nevertheless she gave a polite knock on the door that caused the two nurses to look at her direction.

Jihyo walked towards the two, “Oh, Doctor Park, please enter. This is Nurse Im Nayeon, I’m pretty sure you already know that, she is actually the head of the medical-surgical nurse team.”

“It’s nice formally meeting you, Nurse Im Nayeon.” The doctor started, giving a small smile to the new name she has to remember before turning to Jeongyeon, “I simply would like to return your mug and your gesture.” She said and allowed the nurse to take the mug from her, pocketing both of her hands in her coat.

The doctor gave a polite smile and nod towards the two nurses, “I reckon the both of you had a long day, good job! Do take care as you make your way home.” She said before turning around to head back to her office.

“Do you drink coffee, Jeong? I thought you try to steer clear from caffeine, I’ve never seen you take even a sip once.”

Jihyo can hear Nurse Im ask Nurse Yoo, the familiarity between the two nurses now established because of the nickname.

“But coffee sounds amazing after an operation, yeah?”

When she arrived at her personal space, she found herself closing the door gently and leaning her back against the wood.

She didn’t even notice that she was biting down on her lower lip during all the steps she had taken back to her office until the familiar note of iron greeted her taste.

Jihyo removed her hands from her coat pockets, finding her left hand crumpling the sticky note that was attached to Jeongyeon’s mug, her right hand balled into a fist as well.

The doctor sighed, a start of a series of deep breaths she had taken.

Inhale

Exhale

Inhale

Exhale

A lump has formed in Jihyo’s throat and she knows for goddamn sure what the reason is as she tried to breathe through gritted teeth, vision slowly yet surely getting blurry, mentally boxing herself why.

Instead, the doctor swallowed through, taking in a last set of inhale and exhale, pushing herself off from the door.

Jihyo decided that the night is already over, tidied her office up, and left —

“I’m sorry for making you go out here this late.” Jeongyeon said when she saw Jihyo walking with a bounce on her steps towards her. It’s now just 5 minutes before 20:00 yet both braved through the cold of the night to meet at the park.

The smaller female shook her head with a smile, “I don’t mind, don’t worry.” she assured before she opened her arms the widest she can get it to be, evidently asking the taller female for an embrace.

Jeongyeon gave Jihyo a smile before wrapping her arms around the waist of the smaller female, pulling her as close as physically possible, placing her forehead against the crook of Jihyo’s neck. In turn, Jihyo wrapped her arms around Jeongyeon’s neck, comfortably placing her cheek against the taller’s shoulder.

“I’m sorry,” Jeongyeon whispered, making Jihyo slightly giggle.

“Hey, I told you I don’t mind, right?” the smaller replied.

Silence.

“I’m sorry.” Jeongyeon whispered once more, this time Jihyo felt uncomfortable under her own skin.

The taller is slightly trembling and Jihyo is certain that it’s not because of the August weather, she stayed still and felt the cloth of her shirt get damp.

“Love?” she called Jeongyeon out, placing a hand on the older’s back to rub it in a comforting manner, “Hey, what’s the matter?” Jihyo asked gently, continuing her soothing motion on Jeongyeon’s back.

Jeongyeon was first to part from their embrace, placing her lips on Jihyo’s forehead, tears flowing in a non-stop stream down her cheeks. The older girl placed her forehead against Jihyo’s. With shallow breaths, she whispered,

“All roads will bring me back to you, will lead me to you,”

It was as if a line from an endless riddle,

“fate will play its twisted games, it has always liked playing its twisted games,”

Jihyo’s holding her breath,

“if not, it shall be you who will be led to me.”

Jeongyeon continued speaking in tongues and with the way her words are going, Jihyo certainly is not liking it.

“I’m sorry, Ji.”

That night, Jihyo felt what it meant to have your world crumble inside of one’s embrace;

“It has been half a year since Doctor Park has arrived, hasn’t it?” Nayeon asked as she sat down beside Jeongyeon, their lounge has been an area where in the nurses can just take their time and catch their breaths.

Jeongyeon nodded, “Time sure does fly fast, I haven’t even noticed.” She responded, “Then again, I haven’t worked for her in the past few months. She seems to be handling the junior nurses just fine so I’m not needed in the OR.”

The other nurse simply smiled, “It’s evident that she’s capable of handling people very well, the junior nurses like working for her,” before looking out of the window, “Weather hasn’t really been well recently too, the monsoon season is really at its peak now.”

This caused Jeongyeon to look out the window as well, noticing just how dark the sky has gotten despite the fact that it’s still shy of 5PM. Heavy drops of rain can be heard from the outside as suddenly lightning graced across the horizon like splattered line of paint.

Her eyes widened before she stood up, “I’ll be checking on something first, call me if you need anything, okay?” Jeongyeon told Nayeon, leaving the lounge after.

In quick steps, the nurse found herself standing in front of Doctor Park’s office. Taking a deep breath first before knocking on the wood, after getting no response, Jeongyeon thought that the doctor might be conducting her rounds.

That was until the sound of thunder boomed through the heavens and a yelp can be heard from behind the door.

“Doctor Park? I’m entering.” She asked permission but did not bother to wait for an approval.

When Jeongyeon opened the door, what greeted her was the dark of the office in which she had to assume that the doctor did not have enough strength to bother turning her lights on. The nurse entered the room carefully, closing the door behind her.

“Doctor Park?” the nurse called out once more, moving carefully through the barely-lit room. She would have turned the lights on but she knows it will overwhelm the other.

Reaching to the doctor’s desk, she looked down to see a trembling Jihyo hiding underneath her desk, hugging her knees and her forehead resting on her kneecaps, sobbing uncontrollably.

Hesitantly, the nurse reached out to the doctor, “Hey, I’m here, you’re okay.” Jeongyeon gently whispered, placing her hand on Jihyo’s arm.

Under her touch, she could feel how worse Jihyo’s trembling is, making Jeongyeon softly grasp her arm. “I’m here, you’re okay.” She repeated.

The nurse slowly yet surely pulled the doctor closer to her, repeating her assurances that Jihyo is safe, that Jeongyeon was there.

When she managed to gently pry the doctor out from under the desk, Jihyo immediately wrapped her arms around Jeongyeon’s neck, causing the both of them to stumble and lie down on the floor.

Jeongyeon was surprised, now seeing the white ceiling of the office, while Jihyo managed to fall safely on top of Jeongyeon — the doctor burying her sobs against the crook of the nurse’s neck.

Jeongyeon ran her fingers through the doctor’s short hair, chuckling as she found this feeling all too familiar, “How about I ask you questions so you’ll be distracted? Have you had short hair for a long time now?” she asked the doctor in a gentle manner, wanting to soothe the other female.

“Since you left me.”

Jihyo mumbled against Jeongyeon’s skin, her warm breath hitting a good area of the nurse’s skin that caused the other to relax yet shiver at the same time.

The nurse chuckled, not realizing that she paused for a short time before she played with Jihyo’s hair once more; relieved to feel that the doctor is starting to relax, “Then it is a long time already.” She replied.

Silence.

“Since you asked me, is it okay for me to ask you?” she heard Jihyo mumbled once more, the nurse nodded.

“What’s your age difference with Nurse Im?”

And Jeongyeon faked a cough, surprised by the doctor’s question, “She’s a year and 2 months older than me.”

“So, you have no issues dating someone a year older but a million problems with dating someone five years younger?”

The nurse lightly laughed, “Who even gossiped to you that I’m dating Nurse Im?” Jeongyeon asked, causing Jihyo to lift her head up.

Even in the dim brightness of the room, Jeongyeon for sure knows that the doctor’s face is bright red due to embarrassment, “I didn’t know you had it in you to be so assuming.” The nurse teased.

“I’ll just tell you something then,” Jihyo started, “What you did was a very selfish, jerk move.”

“I know.”

“That makes things worse, doesn’t it? Because you know it was selfish and a jerk move.”

“I know and I can’t really apologize enough for that.” Jeongyeon said, now serious as she fixed her gaze on Jihyo’s, “You were young, Jihyo, too young to be exact. I worry that I may be stealing your youth from you, I worry that I am hindering you from the things you can experience in life, by the time you’re entering university I’m already working, I worr—”

“You worry a lot.” Jihyo cut her sentence and Jeongyeon didn’t even notice that she was out of breath before Jihyo did not allow her to finish her sentence.

“Yes, I do.”

“And you’re a coward.”

“Yes, I am.”

“You could have trusted a bit.”

“I did trust something.”

The doctor raised a brow, “And what was that something then?”

“That all roads will bring me back to you, will lead me to you.”

Jihyo chuckled, “I meant that you should have trusted me.”

“And I did say that if not, it shall be you who will be led to me, right?” Jeongyeon responded.

Silence, their gaze still fixed on each other.

“I’m sor—”

Jihyo snipped Jeongyeon’s words short once more but this time by gently placing her lips on hers, in the softest contact possible, filling her entire system with relief as she finally found the answers to the endless riddle Jeongyeon left her with.

They stayed like that for a short time, eyes closed, hearts beating too rapidly against their ribcages, the pouring rain the only sound that resonated in the room, not wanting to part in fear of breaking the solemn moment they’re sharing.

And Jeongyeon was reminded why the only coffee she’ll drink was the one prepared by the then young girl who is now a full-pledge surgeon:

Jihyo tasted like a teaspoon of cream and three of sugar.