Their game of push and get pulled became more and more playful and the relationship between them started to look more and more like a relationship. Jungkook abused the spare key Taehyung had given him and almost never went back to his own apartment. Taehyung couldn’t even tell whose clothes he was washing anymore, because the lines had blurred between what was his and what was Jungkook’s.

Taehyung felt like the game was getting close to the end, looking like both of them would be winners in it. If there would only be one more little push…

One day, Jungkook came to Taehyung’s apartment, which he now referred to as his home, and said:

J: “Hey, Taehyung. Show me your hands.”

T: “I didn’t know you had this kinda kink…”

J: “I don’t and I didn’t mean show me your hands like you would to a police officer. I meant show me your hands like you would to a palm reader.”

T: “I don’t believe in palm readers.” Taehyung said, but still held out his hands.

J: “Me neither, but here’s a potential future.” Jungkook cheerfully said, placing a baby cactus in a small flower pot in Taehyung’s hands. “I know I should have gotten you a lemon tree, but you don’t really come across something like that being sold on the street.”

T: “How is this a potential future?”

J: “Well it looks rough and potentially harmful on the outside, but it’s actually cute, enduring and can survive without a lot of attention and care. However, if you give it attention and you properly care for it, it’ll grow from small to big, it’ll bloom and become beautiful and it will stay with you for a lifetime.”

T: “Is it supposed to represent me?”

J: “More like our relationship. The way I see it, at least. But that’s all stuff I only thought about post-purchase. It was an impulse buy. I just passed by it, saw it and, somehow, thought it would make you happy if I gave it to you. I got excited and bought it, then I realized I didn’t have a proper argument for why I thought it would make you happy, so I came up with what I just told you and hoped that it would at least make you smile. So… this would be a good time for you to smile.”

T: “Jungkook.”

J: “Yeah?”

T: “We’re gonna have now.”

J: “What?!”

T: “Now!” Taehyung said, pulling Jungkook inside the room till his legs gave in and he fell to his knees in the middle of the room.

J: “Wait, wait, wait… This is so sudden… And I’m so nervous… I don’t even remember the last time I’ve properly had . What if I forgot how to do it and I up really bad and you end up saying “Get out of my life” or something like that? Oh my, God, no! No, no, no, no! I don’t want that!...”

T: “You’d need some serious skill to up badly enough for me to say something like that at this point…” Taehyung said before kneeling down, still holding Jungkook’s hand. “And also, I don’t care if it’s the worst in history.”

J: “You… think it’ll be the worst in history?” Jungkook asked turning pale.

Taehyung closed his eyes, took a deep breath and let it out slowly. Then he opened them again and looked straight into Jungkook’s.

T: “What I’m trying to say here is… I love you. I want you more than I ever thought I could want something and I’m going all in for it. Regardless of what happens from here on out, I’m betting my everything on you.”

J: “But... b-but, wait. How… how did this…” Jungkook tried asking, pointing with his shaking hand towards the baby cactus. “How did this lead to this? I… I would have gotten you a greenhouse had I known… No. that. I would have gotten you a jungle! Or a continent! Or…”

T: “Calm down, Jungkook. It’s not about the cactus.”

J: “What’s it about then?”

T: “If you go about your day, minding your own business, and the desire to make me happy randomly hits you like that, then you’re probably the safest bet I’ll ever make. But this isn’t about that either. This was just the cherry on top. It’s everything you did up until now that led us here. It might seem sudden for you, but I’ve been thinking about making this bet for a couple of months now. And, actually, I’ve considered the possibility of ending up here ever since I was helping you train Miri. Plus I do like the cactus. It made me happy to receive it.”

J: “Next up is a ring.”

T: “Ring?”

J: “Marry me!”

Taehyung was so shocked he almost dropped the cactus, so he placed it on a table before he nervously said:

T: “Whoa, whoa, wait, wait, wait! What are you saying?”

J: “I’m saying I wanna go all in too. I love you and I wanna make this last a lifetime.” Jungkook declared, taking both of Taehyung’s hands into his. “I’m already on my knees so do you want me to beg?”

T: “No… no, no! But… first of all, gay marriage isn’t even legal in this country and…”

J: “It is in other countries.”

T: “You’re saying we should move to another country?”

J: “You can work regardless of where you are. I can do the same just by learning the language.”

T: “Well, yeah, but our friends and families are here.”

J: “You said you’ll bet everything on me, right? Was that a lie?”

T: “No…” Taehyung said honestly, then closed his eyes and smiled before he continued with the air around him changing greatly. “The answer’s no for now and yes for later.”

J: “That’s so typical of you.”

T: “You should have learned by now that patience is a key element when playing. I want to marry you and be with you for the rest of our lives, no matter where we’ll end up spending them. But let’s not rush into it, okay?”

J: “Okay.”

The both smiled to each other and kissed lovingly, before Taehyung continued:

T: “Also, I think there’s a more pressing matter we should get to right now.”

J: “What?”

Taehyung just smirked in reply. Jungkook got the message and the air around him became different as he leaned forward to kiss Taehyung slowly and passionately.

Slowly they got up from the floor and moved onto the bed, Jungkook pressing Taehyung into the mattress as they kissed with their arms wrapped around each other until, at one point, Jungkook asked:

J: “Are you tensed?”

T: “A bit, yes.”

J: “Is it cause you haven’t been on the receiving end before?”

T: “No, I don’t have any problem with that.”

J: “Then what?”

T: “Well... looks like I am a bit concerned about this turning into the worst in history.”

J: “It won’t. I know I panicked back there, but have a little more faith in me. I…”

T: “My faith in you could rival any religion. We’ve gotten here because you’ve continuously proven that I wasn’t wrong putting my trust in you.”

J: “Well thank you! I’m glad to hear that. But then…”

Taehyung brought up a hand to caress the side of Jungkook’s head then play with his earlobe.

T: “I made you wait a lot for this, so much so that the idea slipped from your mind. It’s not like I wanted to hold back on per se, but I didn’t know what else could serve as an end goal and w…”

J: “What else would keep me on my toes and motivated to fight some more instead of settling?”

T: “…”

J: “I know how you think by now, Taehyung, I figured it out long ago. But I don’t need an end goal anymore. I’m here because just being here is plenty rewarding. You’re worried that, after all the built-up, this will seem like a letdown, but I wouldn’t worry even if that ends up being what happens. Our first interaction , I thought you were unpleasant as hell. But then I wanted to get closer to you and here I am – I’m practically living at your place, but I still look forward to spending time with you every day. Our first kiss didn’t go that great. At one point that was also a goal and it was achieved. But many months after that, every kiss still feels special. So I’m looking forward to everything that’s up ahead, including all the things that will , because being with you is what I want the most and I know that for sure now.”

T: “Ditto.”

J: “You’re so romantic…”

T: “It was getting too dramatic in here.”

J: “It’s about to get even more dramatic, because that’s how I’m feeling right now. When I was doing this or attempting doing this on the other side of this wall here, or anywhere else for that matter, I… never felt this chocked up, excited, nervous and proud all at the same time. It’s… just like the opening ceremony at international sports events, when they’re playing the anthems. I just feel… so emotional…” Jungkook said, pressing his face into Taehyung’s chest.

Taehyung wrapped his arms around Jungkook’s head and smiled, trying to keep himself from getting overly emotional as well.

J: “But anyway!” Jungkook suddenly said, as his head sprung up from under Taehyung’s arms. “You beat me to saying “I love you”. I’ve been wanting to say that to you for a long time now, but I thought I’d have to do something special to make you believe me. You believe me now, don’t you?”

T: “I do.”

J: “Then, instead of focusing so much on how this might go, how about looking forward to when I’ll say it again?”

Taehyung let out a short laugh instead of answering and a tear ended up spilling from the corner of his eyes as he closed them. Jungkook wiped that tear away with his thumb as he cradled the side of Taehyung’s face in his hand and said:

J: “I’m also looking forward to saying it and hearing you tell me that again.”

Jungkook kissed Taehyung and, this time, he felt him completely open, no longer tensed, filling Jungkook though every touch with the warm feelings he had inside, making him feel loved beyond anything else.

Really lemons had a hard exterior, but they were all soft and juicy inside, and they were good for you no matter how sour they seem at first. Jungkook had told Taehyung countless times that he really loved lemons, but Taehyung never got the hint, so Jungkook was glad he was going to be able to say things like this directly from now on.

But Jungkook didn’t have time for further such thoughts, as his senses were calling his attention to the fiery touching going on. Things gradually intensified, with tongues hooking themselves inside the other’s mouth, hands sneaking under clothes, legs pressing between another pair of legs and the breathing that sounded so loud if felt like winds foretelling a big storm.

Taehyung’s wandering hands had pushed Jungkook’s t-shirt almost all the way up, so Jungkook straightened his back to take it off and throw it onto the floor. Taehyung shot up into sitting position and his mouth went straight for Jungkook’s neck, kissing and while slowly descending towards the chest. Meanwhile, Jungkook also pulled Taehyung’s shirt off, leaving it hanging around Taehyung’s wrists out of impatience as he pressed his lips against the middle of the sternum hard enough to push Taehyung back on the bed. As Taehyung got rid of the shirt around his hands, Jungkook left a trail of kisses down from the chest to the lower abdomen, then opened his mouth wider and pressed it against the emerging bulge in Taehyung’s pants, blowing hot air between his legs and making Taehyung gasp.

Then, Jungkook got impatient again and yanked Taehyung’s pants off together with his boxers, leaving him completely on the bed.

J: “I’m also probably always gonna look forward to this sight.”

T: “Even if I stop working out?”

J: “ARE you gonna stop working out?”

T: “Maybe. Maybe not.”

Jungkook let out a laugh and shook his head before bending down and kissing Taehyung. The kiss quickly lost its sweetness in favor of sensuality. Taehyung d Jungkook between the legs and rubbed hard over the fabric of the pants while Jungkook moved to take incomplete bites out of his neck and slid his hands down between Taehyung’s back and the mattress till they reached the buttocks and pulled them apart, giving them a firm squeeze before his fingers reached for the hole in the middle and came across something unexpected.

J: “Is that a plug?”

T: “I said I was thinking about this for a while, didn’t I?”

J: “I’m touched.”

T: “So am I. Quite crushingly hard, to be exact.” Taehyung said, nevertheless getting excited over how forcefully Jungkook was groping his .

Jungkook messily kissed Taehyung and he brought one hand up to search for the lube hidden between the mattress and the bed frame. Then he straightened his back again, poured a large amount of lube on his hand and told Taehyung:

J: “Lift your hips a bit.”

Taehyung lifted his hips so Jungkook’s arm could make a half circle around them and his hands could reach Taehyung’s from behind, without the lube rubbing off on the bed sheets.

J: “Good boy.” Jungkook whispered, making Taehyung laugh lightly before they kissed again and one of Jungkook’s hands slowly pulled the plug out before the other slowly sent a finger in its place.

Taehyung’s breath hitched at how cold the lube was but how hot the sensation was. It didn’t take much for his rectal muscles to relax and Jungkook to pull out his fingers, start covering his own with lube and hold a hand out in front of Taehyung while saying:

J: “I don’t wanna seem lazy, but it’d be better for you if we…”

T: “I know.” Taehyung intervened, taking the hand in front of him and getting up as Jungkook went to the side of the bed and rested his back on the wall.

Taehyung straddled him, positioned himself above the tip of Jungkook’s and slowly let it enter him, letting out a moan alongside the shaky breath when it was all the way in. He then opened his eyes again and looked at Jungkook who looked back like he had seen flying pigs.

J: “Oh my God, you moaned! Can I hear that again?”

T: “Maybe…”

J: “No, don’t say that please. Not right now.”

Taehyung smirked and kissed Jungkook, wrapping his arms around his neck as he began moving his lower body up and down. As he picked up the pace, their bodies heated up, with fingers and lips melting whatever they touched, and the world became muted around them. Jungkook did hear Taehyung moan again, more and more as the ing got harder. But, aside from that, Jungkook didn’t pick up anything with his ears. Rather he felt he could hear several luscious sounds and I love yous through his skin, his taste buds and all other senses. Taehyung slowly pulled Jungkook over him as he laid back on the bed, the latter taking control as he sank his teeth into Taehyung’s neck and ed between his weakening legs. Taehyung felt completely powerless and it felt like freedom. That feeling was followed by all of his muscles tensing up and getting ready to combust.

A loud groan was heard when Jungkook came inside of Taehyung. A chocked scream was heard when Taehyung came over their stomachs. After that there was only heavy breathing, then slow and deep kissing, a couple of short laughs and silence. They stayed holding each other in their arms, savoring the moment till Jungkook broke the silence by saying:

J: “So…”

T: “So?”

J: “Can I spend the night?”

Taehyung’s chest banged against Jungkook’s as he laughed and the latter could tell that Taehyung was trying to make himself say “Maybe. Maybe not.”, but he couldn’t.

Jungkook thought that honeymoon periods and lemons were an unlikely combination, so he was surprised by the level of affection Taehyung was showing him and the level of kinkiness they could soar to. Although he occasionally found himself in disbelief, Jungkook was still very much pleased with the development in their relationship. However, he still sometimes received an “I’m working now. Go do something else.” or a very familiar and firm “No.” and it made him proud and happy that now this was the spice instead of the norm.

Miri and Jungkook were staying at Taehyung’s place almost all of the time they were in that neighborhood, so Jungkook and Taehyung started discussing whether Jungkook should officially move into Taehyung’s apartment or if they should both move into a bigger and better apartment along with Miri.

It’s good that such discussions had not reached the implementation stage yet, because life has its dynamics and a game isn’t always fun.

One evening, Jungkook seemed so lost in thought throughout dinner that Taehyung even decided to ask him if he wanted a , just to see if he was the slightest bit aware of his surroundings, but Jungkook replied with “Hm? Sorry, what?” proving that he wasn’t.

T: “I asked if you wanted me to do the dish cleaning job.”

J: “Oh, no. Don’t worry about it. It’s my turn anyway. You can go back to work.”

It was so unlike Jungkook to be like that, Taehyung couldn’t help worrying over what was happening, although he didn’t show it. And he didn’t really need to since, after he was done with the dishes, Jungkook came to Taehyung’s room and dropped his body on the bed as if it was the couch of a psychologist and said:

J: “Hey, Taehyung, I’d like to summon a certain Taehyung from the past.”

T: “Which Taehyung would that be?” Taehyung asked, turning on his desk chair and bringing it closer to the bed.

J: “The one who liked acting like a very negative career counselor for me.”

T: “Okay… Go on.”

J: “The manager of the gym where I have most of the training sessions with my clients wants to take a year off since he’s gonna become a father soon and he’d like to be close to his family. Today he asked me if I wanted to take over for him during that time.”

T: “And do you?”

J: “Do I what?”

T: “Want to do that?”

J: “I… don’t really know. I did think about starting my own business in the future sometime, like a gym or a dojo or even a restaurant, and this would be a good opportunity to see if I could handle it, what it would be like, and I could also learn a lot about managing a business. So, in that sense, I’d really want to take up his offer. However, I don’t want to abandon my current clients, so I’d basically be doing two jobs simultaneously. And, since I don’t have experience in being a manager, it will most likely take a lot more time to do a manager’s job than it would take someone with experience because I would also have to learn on the go. And so, I think I would barely have time for sleeping, much less be with Miri, you, friends and cater to any kind of personal interest. Like my own training. I would have to give that up. If I give it up now, it’s practically gone forever. If I had to catch up on the year I missed out, it would be very hard. So what decision I make now will very much impact the whole rest of my life. I could just say no, but then, when I actually do open my own business and I find out I don’t like it, it’ll be much, much harder to turn back… What should I do?”

T: “Refuse the offer and stick to what you’re doing now.”

J: “What? No! I wanna try this. It’s not an opportunity that comes knocking on your door every day.”

T: “Then take the offer and allot less time to everything else you’re investing it in right now.”

J: “No! I’m investing time in them for a reason. They matter to me. I don’t wanna give them up.”

T: “Well this is a tough one… You seem to want everything without sacrificing anything.”

J: “Uhm… yeah, I guess that’s what it’s like…”

T: “Try picturing losing each and every single thing you mentioned forever.”

Jungkook did as told and, by the way he got up into sitting position and leaned his forehead into his hands, Taehyung could tell that he managed to picture it vividly.

J: “I don’t want to lose anything…”

T: “Imagine you could get one single thing back... What would that be?”

J: “No… no… I really don’t want to have to give up on anything.”

T: “When you thought about the one thing you could get back, what was the first thing that crossed your mind?”

J: “You and Miri.”

Taehyung didn’t expect that answer. He somehow forgot he was at all a part of the equation since he was focusing on helping Jungkook decide what he wanted in terms of career path. So he got lost in his thoughts for a moment and ended up saying something that was not a part of what he originally intended to say:

T: “Me and Miri won’t disappear in a year, Jungkook. You’ve invested too much for that to happen so easily.”

Jungkook lifted his head and looked at Taehyung with wide eyes like he had heard something he never expected to.

T: “Life generally isn’t about all-ins. Most of the time you just gotta make the right decision for your current hand. Or the decision that you feel is right, because it’s inevitable to end up regretting once in a while. But if you generally play your cards right, one bad hand or one bad decision won’t leave you without anything left. Usually. If you wanna make a bet on business, what you’re most likely to lose is the chance to continue as an athlete. But you yourself said you can get that back. With a lot of effort, but you can still get it back. If you lose your current clients, you might get them back or you’ll get other clients instead because you’ve invested enough to become that good of a personal trainer. You think you can lose Miri, but dogs are loyal. I spend more time with her than you do, but she never looks as happy as she does when you return to her. Also, even if I don’t see or hear from you for a whole year, what’s built up until now might fade, but it won’t disappear. It might never do because you were very much here. Conversely, if you fold on this new opportunity, it doesn’t mean you’ll never be able to bet on this kinda thing again. Furthermore, you can fold at any time. Depending on your situation, you can ask the manager to let you try running things for two or three weeks before making a final decision. Or, after you take over for him, you can find someone to help you or replace you after around two months. Regardless of what cards are dealt, you’re the player, so the power will always be in your hands.”

Jungkook felt empowered, anxious, relieved, burdened, enlightened, confused and like all limits have been lifted out of his way, no matter where he chose to go. And, besides all of this, he felt a lot of endearment and respect for the person in front of him, who wouldn’t have been standing there and telling him all of this if Jungkook had always been the kind to be crippled by the idea of making a potentially disadvantageous bet.

J: “I… really played my hand right whenever I chose to not fold on you.”

Taehyung smiled and leaned forward so that their faces were only a few centimeters apart.

T: “I’m glad to hear that, but this wasn’t supposed to be the main takeaway.”

J: “I got what you were trying to tell me. I won’t let my own mind set limits for myself.”

Taehyung was a bit surprised at how well Jungkook understood that, then he smiled even wider, kissed him and said:

T: “Good.”

J: “Good? Not “Good boy”?”

T: “You’ve grown a bit too much for me to keep saying that.”

J: “Thanks. But I wouldn’t bet on that if I were you.” Jungkook joked, making them both laugh slightly before they kissed again, this time for longer. “So you won’t disappear in a year?”

T: “No.”

J: “How about a decade?”

T: “Don’t push it.”

J: “I can push it if I want to. The power’s in my hands.”

T: “True, but the power’s also in my hands, so it’s gonna come down to how we wield it.”

J: “Then I’ll refrain from pushing it too much for the time being and just ask if I can spend the night here.”

T: “No.”

J: “Come on, Taehyung…”

T: “No. You need to go home and think about what you wanna do.”

J: “I know what I wanna do right now… and it involves me spending the night with you.”

T: “I take back that part about you having grown…”

J: “Fine. I’ll go home and properly think about it if you give me one hour of cuddling and stuff like that.”

T: “No.”

J: “Thirty minutes.”

T: “Ten.”

J: “Fifteen.”

T: “Okay.”

Sixteen minutes later, Jungkook was pushed out the door, given one last kiss and the command to go home which he obeyed, albeit reluctantly.

After properly putting a lot of thought into it, Jungkook decided to follow Taehyung’s advice and ask the manager to let him try doing his job for a couple of weeks before giving his final decision. The manager agreed and, two days after Jungkook had informed Taehyung about that, Jungkook let himself into Taehyung’s apartment with the spare key and announced that he was home, but only Miri came to greet him. Taehyung was on the phone and the printer could be heard running, so Jungkook went into the room and Taehyung saw him just as he was ending the call.

J: “Honey, I’m hooomeee.” Jungkook singsonged.

T: “Welcome back.”

J: “No welcome back kiss?”

T: “I have something better. Close your eyes and show me your hands.”

Jungkook executed the command, excited at what that something better could be. To his slight disappointment, in his hands were placed what seemed to be three printed out books, all of them quite thick.

J: “What’re these?”

T: “I conducted an informal poll among some of my friends and clients and those are apparently the most essential and practical knowledge oriented books for management beginners. Also, here’s a list of web resources that might come in handy.” Taehyung said, putting another few papers over the books. “The spark notes on some other useful books, the laws specific to this industry and a few basic accounting tips are just being printed out.”

J: “Thank you… You know, you really should’ve stuck to being a teacher. You have natural tendencies in that area.”

T: “I’m not the one considering a career change. You are. And I expect you to read all that in the following month.”

J: “What? Impossible. I won’t have time for all of this.”

T: “You’ll have even less time when you take the job for real. It’s best to go in a bit more prepared. Also, during this three week trial stage, I’ll take Miri for her walks and make sure she gets enough exercise. On that note, you’ll stop being my personal trainer because I know what I have to do now and it’s better for you to invest those hours in learning what you need to learn. Same goes for cooking. So w…”

J: “No!”

T: “No?”

J: “No! I don’t wanna spend even less time with Miri and with you. I already said you two are my top priority.”

T: “Well then you’ll have to give up on the idea of taking over for the manager because you’ll only end up half-assing it. You can’t run after several rabbits and expect to catch most, if any, of them.”

J: “I can do it.”

T: “Fine. Then come here and spend the night whenever you finish at least a chapter or a main section.”

J: “Seriously, Taehyung?!”

T: “You can’t do it?”

J: “I’ll do it.”

Jungkook wasn’t one to back away from strenuous things, so he did as he said. In order to save time, he looked for the audio versions of the things he had to read and listened to them while doing his own training or when getting from one place to another. He found the selection Taehyung had put together extremely informative and he actually ended up putting some of that knowledge to use during the three week trial phase.

However, with rearranging his schedule and often staying behind at the gym to get things done and figure out how other things worked, he was usually gone from early morning till almost midnight. In the end, it was a blessing that Taehyung had taken up all duties related to Miri and had forcefully freed Jungkook from any duty involving him, because Jungkook learned early on that he would not have had time for that if he wanted to sleep at least five to six hours per night. Jungkook only slept at Taehyung’s place for one night out of every two or three and, even when he did that, he literally just slept. A few times he even fell asleep while reciting what he had recently read.

Taehyung had a bad feeling about this, but he didn’t show anything other than harsh love and regular love to Jungkook during this phase, because Jungkook seemed very confident in eventually learning how to handle it and looked increasingly eager to embark on the year-long journey of learning how to handle it.

In the end Jungkook sincerely thanked Taehyung for all his help and enthusiastically announced that he was going to accept the manager’s job while he was away, so Taehyung stuck to encouragement and refrained from saying anything else.

It was a move he ended up questioning not even a month later.

After Jungkook had officially taken over in place of the manager, it became almost impossible to see Jungkook. Between still catering to most of his regular clients, continuing his own training and diligently assuming the new role, Jungkook practically lived at the gym, spending most nights there either catching up on his own training that he just couldn’t get to during the day, figuring out how to handle an issue that he as the new manager should take care of or, occasionally, sleeping in the tiny office behind the reception desk.

Nevertheless, Jungkook missed Miri and Taehyung, often asking himself how they were doing and making Taehyung a hundred promises that he would go spend more time with them, although Jungkook often ended up unable to keep those promises because of issues that would appear out of nowhere and demand his attention right then and there.

Even so, Jungkook occasionally moved heaven and earth to make enough time to spend at least one evening with Taehyung and Miri but, whenever he did, Taehyung mostly wished he hadn’t and would have instead invested that time into resting, because Jungkook looked mentally fatigued and, although he barely ever mentioned the hardships he was experiencing, his mind obviously ran them in the background. At one point, Taehyung tried bringing up some of these issues he felt they should discuss.

T: “Remember when we talked about running after too many rabbits at once?”

J: “No, don’t bring that up now. Please don’t.”

T: “But listen – t…”

Taehyung was silenced when Jungkook desperately kissed him and pushed him onto the bed. They made love for the first time in a month, but it somehow left a slightly bitter aftertaste for Taehyung. He didn’t really have the heart to get mad, be harsh, insist too much or refuse Jungkook when the latter looked like a leaf in late autumn.

But Taehyung was still Taehyung and refraining from doing what he thought was best was very much unlike him.

When Jungkook came to his place, Taehyung knew he wasn’t going to get anywhere by beating around the bush, so he just dropped it on Jungkook:

T: “Jungkook.”

J: “Yeah?”

T: “Let’s take a break.”

J: “What?!”

T: “Let’s take a break. Miri will stay with me, you won’t have to come here anymore and you can fully focus on what you’re doing right now.”

J: “What the , Taehyung?! You’re just gonna push me out of your life so easily like that?! AND the life of my own dog?!”

T: “When it comes to pushing, you’re the one doing it to yourself and you’re doing it too much. I want to lessen your load.”

J: “You don’t need to lessen anything, Taehyung. I’m can handle it. Even if I’m struggling right now I’ll learn to handle it fine. Why can’t you believe in me?”

T: “I do believe in you. I have no doubt that you can handle anything you put your mind to. But I also believe that everything comes at a cost and what you’re sacrificing, consciously or not, is your sleep for now and your health in the long run.”

J: “Oh, you’re giving ME lectures on health now? That’s rich…”

T: “Jungk…”

J: “Cut the crap, Taehyung! I don’t even get to spend that much time with you and Miri, so it’s not like I’ll gain a whole lot of extra time if we take a break.”

T: “No, but you’re often thinking about it and being torn is only giving you extra stress and not letting you focus right on what you should be focusing on.”

J: “So you’re forcing me into a set of options like you did with your students long ago to make me figure out what I want? Or do you, by doing this, want to make me drop everything else and choose you?”

T: “No! I do not want you to drop anything you don’t want to drop. That’s not my intention here. I just want you to stop focusing on some things for a while so you can focus on other things.”

J: “You can make it sound like you’re doing this for my sake, but the fact of the matter is that you’re breaking up with me and not caring what I have to say about it.”

T: “It’s not breaking up. I said…”

J: “I know what you said, Taehyung!” Jungkook began screaming. “You said something you fight hard for won’t be that easily lost. You said you wouldn’t disappear in a year. But look what you’re saying now! It’s barely been over a month and you’re already throwing me away as easily as you would a flyer you got on the street. You lied! You played with me, made me run around in circles for so long and you can’t even bother to stay when things get just a little bit tough…”

T: “It’s not like tha…”

J: “I don’t care! I’ve had it! I don’t wanna waste any more time going deeper into something fleeting. If it’s a break you want, consider us broken up.” Jungkook deadpanned, turning to head towards the door. “I’ll leave Miri with you since you offered. But, once I’ll have a handle on things, and that WILL happen, I’ll come back for her and I’ll say my goodbyes then. Till that time, you and everything you said!”

Jungkook stormed out the door and shut it closed with a loud noise. Miri followed him but didn’t get to the door before it had been shut. She stared at it for a bit then came in front of Taehyung and looked up at him while faintly wailing. Taehyung crouched down and patted her head saying:

T: “I’m sorry, Miri. I could’ve done a better job at playing that hand. Now we all have a loss we need to handle somehow…”

Taehyung wasn’t mad at Jungkook and he wasn’t mad at himself. He only felt guilt that they had parted ways with Jungkook feeling so much resentment, disappointment and, by how his face looked, sadness.

There was, however, no use crying over spilled milk and no use thinking of better strategies for an already played hand. In the end, aside from parting on bad terms, Taehyung had gotten what he had aimed for, which was getting Jungkook to stop investing any time or energy in thinking about him and Miri. He knew Jungkook well enough by now to be able to tell that Jungkook would most likely will himself into not thinking about them and become more ambitious about handling things well sooner.

For now, Taehyung thought it best to refrain from approaching Jungkook in any way and only consider doing it a month or two later. By then, Jungkook would have probably found a proper rhythm for juggling his current roles.

However, Taehyung was also aware of how he would take it during the following period. He knew that, partially, he would be feeling the same way he felt when he quit smoking, only amplified. Right after he gave up cigarettes completely, Taehyung smashed three keyboards, five mugs and a wall would have joined that list if Jungkook had not stopped him. Now he felt like the smashing was taking place all around his heart and, in the same region, seeds of sadness were starting to germinate and Taehyung was slightly scared of how those feelings would develop and affect him.

A few days after the first real fight with Jungkook, Taehyung realized that he had stood a good chance at being a crying mess from dusk till dawn and from dawn till dusk if Miri had not been there. Miri sensed that Jungkook wasn’t just taking a while longer than usual to return to her, she had felt the tension and how grave the situation was, and she was too depressed to eat for the first couple of weeks. Taehyung had to repeatedly take her to the vet so she would get, through IVs and shots, at least some of the substances she lacked. It broke Taehyung’s heart to see Miri constantly stare at the front door and even do tricks in front of it, hoping that would get her Jungkook’s attention back.

So, besides taking care of her physical needs, Taehyung devoted an impressive amount of time and energy to trying to cheer Miri up, which meant playing with her a lot and pretending like everything was fine, his acting being so good that it ended up convincing him as well.

It was both a blessing and a curse because, even though it kept him focused, functional and active, whenever he paused and thought about how things were, the feelings would hit as hard as if he was just realizing for the first time.

Nevertheless, Taehyung had not once thought about contacting Jungkook because, since he had still not come back for Miri, it meant that he still didn’t get that great of a handle on things yet and Taehyung didn’t want to intervene before that happened because, then, everything he had ended up putting all of them through would have been for nothing.

However, one evening, as Taehyung was coming back home from taking Miri on her walk, the dog suddenly pulled on the leash so hard and so fast Taehyung had lost it from his hand and he had to start chasing after Miri who began running towards their building. It didn’t take long for Taehyung to realize that Miri had run up to Jungkook who was returning home and who looked at Miri like he couldn’t believe she was there before he crouched down and ruffled her fur with both hands.

Taehyung thought it was alarming how little emotion could be seen on Jungkook’s face but, after getting closer, he thought it was more alarming how thin and pale his face had gotten. Still, he tried to sound unaffected as he asked:

T: “Did you come to get her back?”

J: “No... I can’t right now.”

Taehyung couldn’t bare it any longer, so he asked:

T: “Are you okay?”

J: “No…” Jungkook said after looking up at Taehyung and before he stood back up. “No, I’m not okay.” he continued as his eyes filled up with tears, his jaw clenched and, finally, he broke down crying.

Taehyung instinctively hugged him tightly and Jungkook hugged back, holding onto Taehyung firmly even though his body was shaking from the despair-filled crying that had ensued.

J: “This is so hard! I can’t take it anymore… I’m… so overwhelmed…” Jungkook uttered almost incomprehensibly through the sobbing.

Taehyung held him tightly, standing straight and strong no matter how he was feeling and who was watching. In the end, he took Jungkook to his apartment and made him sit on the edge of the bed as he went to get a pill for the hardcore headache that had followed after the hardcore crying. Jungkook felt like his head was going to split in two from the pain, so he held it between both hands and hanging just above his knees, only changing his position when Taehyung had brought him the pill and a glass of water, but resuming it right after quickly gulping them down.

T: “Did you always get a splitting headache from crying?”

J: “I don’t remember. The last time I cried was in middle school I think.”

T: “Oh, wow, that’s… kinda cool…”

J: “What’s not cool is me bawling my eyes out when I said I’d return here only after I’d get a proper handle on things… And I’m so far away from that, it feels like light-years…”

T: “It’s that hard?”

J: “It’s hard… Or it might not be, but I’m not adjusting fast enough… And I can’t afford to look tired or lacking in confidence, so that’s just extra stress that piles up. And I’m not used to making decisions that don’t concern someone’s physique or dealing with uncertainty… But what I’ve learned by interacting with you along with the things you made me read and look into are really helping out. Sorry I gave you attitude about it and thanks.”

T: “Uhm, sure…” Taehyung said, sitting on the edge of the bed on Jungkook’s left side, unsure if he should rub his back or do anything at all.

J: “But really the biggest problem is time. There’s just not enough time in a day for everything… Really it would be so much easier if I were to give up on just one thing…”

T: “What are you thinking about giving up on?”

J: “Nothing!” Jungkook said, looking at Taehyung with a dead serious expression before he placed his head back between his hands and continued. “I’m seeing this through to the end on my own terms. I’m not giving up on anything. I may not be at all convincing when I’m looking like this, when I just cried in the middle of the street and complained about my situation, but you always feel like you’re at your breaking point just before overcoming a limit. A limit is basically a breaking point, so if, from here on, I go further without stopping or settling, then I’ll be overcoming my limit. I’ll make this work and I won’t stop or settle for anything else than what I set my sight on.”

Taehyung rested his temple on his fist and looked at Jungkook like he was seeing something familiar and, at the same time, unbelievable.

T: “Your mind really doesn’t let you have any limits, does it?” Taehyung asked smiling. “It’s intimidating how strong your will power and your belief in being able to achieve what you want can be.”

J: “That’s good because what I want always seems to have a thorny path leading up to it.”

T: “Either that, or you just want something more because it’s at the end of a thorny path.”

J: “Or both.”

T: “Yeah, I can’t tell anymore…”

J: “Taehyung.”

T: “Hm?”

J: “I love you.”

Jungkook looked at Taehyung again as he said that with the utmost seriousness and Taehyung looked back with wide eyes that were slightly getting wet as the information was getting processed and on its way to affecting him, but he couldn’t say anything and he wasn’t sure if he was even breathing anymore.

J: “Whatever the pathway to it consisted of, that feeling’s now strong, stable, real and pure. There’s no weird motivation or cause behind it. I just love you and I’m not settling for things ending the way they did because I know you feel the same way.”

Taehyung now didn’t even dare breathing. That slight motion could shake him too much and he didn’t trust himself from not throwing himself at Jungkook or to the floor because he really felt like he was at some sort of breaking point. Se he just did his best to stay as a statue while Jungkook continued.

J: “I won’t say sorry for the things I did and said last time we talked because I was hurt and you knew I’d be hurt when you decided to tell me we should take a break. You don’t have to say sorry either, since I understood why you did what you did and said what you said the moment I became a bit calmer. But, precisely because I understood that, I couldn’t come back just for a makeover of the conversation. I decided to come back when I would get a proper handle on things not just for Miri, but also for you. However, since I’m here now and I’m gonna get a handle on things anyway, I’m letting you know this now.”

Taehyung moved his gaze away from Jungkook and the fist that his temple had rested on became the palm that covered his eyes as he cried while laughing a laugh that was happy and broken at the same time. The moment had come – the moment when Jungkook was too much from Taehyung to handle. Taehyung couldn’t form one half of one logical thought anymore, let alone exert any control over himself, so he just let his messy emotions come out in the form of tears, odd laughter and shaking.

Jungkook then grabbed the hand that wasn’t busy covering Taehyung’s eyes and placed it on the back of his head, making Taehyung turn his eyes to him before Jungkook threw back a look that said a thousand words. Taehyung got the message. The message resonated deep inside of him and they came together in a fervent kiss.

Their first kiss felt like a hurricane, wild but not very pleasant. This one felt like a heavy rainstorm after drought. Reinvigorating, promising, joyful.

The setting and positions were similar to their third kiss, which was also meaningful because it was the first time Jungkook properly opened up about wanting Taehyung’s affection and Taehyung properly opened up in giving it. Jungkook reenacted that moment by placing Taehyung’s hand on the back of his head and it didn’t take Taehyung even a second to understand.

Just like then, they spent the night together, only this time they did more than kissing and cuddling and I love yous were shared as if they were oxygen.

An hour or so later, as they laid on their sides, caressing and staring at each other, Jungkook said:

J: “Remember you said you wouldn’t disappear in a year?”

T: “I wouldn’t.”

J: “How about a decade?”

T: “Not even after that.”

Jungkook was surprised by the answer and thought Taehyung was joking, so he continued in the same tone:

J: “I won’t push it that far.”

T: “What does that mean?”

J: “It’s been so long since that question came up.” Jungkook laughed. “And I think it’s the first time it’s coming from you.”

They both laughed shortly before Jungkook continued with a more serious tone:

J: “Will you wait for me till I finish this year?”

T: “Yes.”

J: “That answer came a bit too quickly.”

T: “You want to add something more? My answer won’t change though.”

J: “Really? I got so many “No”s from you, but when I really need a “Yes”, you always give it to me.”

T: “I don’t’ give a “Yes” unless I mean it. That’s why they’re rarer.”

J: “Are you gonna give me another “Yes” to the next question?”

T: “Depends on the question.”

J: “Will you marry me?”

T: “Definitely!”

J: “I got a “Yes” with an upgrade.” Jungkook laughed before they pulled each other closer and kissed for a good while.

They say “Be careful what you wish for cause you just might get it” and it was true. Taehyung wanted it to hurt like hell when Jungkook would leave and it did. In fact, hell sounded soft compared to what he was feeling.

Neither of them extended the process unnecessarily. Jungkook told Miri that he would miss her and asked that she behaved like a good girl while he was gone. Then he kissed Taehyung for no more than three seconds to not risk getting stuck there, said “See’ya, Taehyung!” and left.

Taehyung closed the door and remained still, with his hand on the doorknob for a full minute before he finally let go of it and went on with his regular routine. There were around nine months left to go till seeing Jungkook again and they were not going to go by any faster if he let himself dwell too much on things at this point.

Ever since the first fight with Jungkook, Taehyung had started perceiving his apartment as darker and colder than it had ever seemed. He couldn’t really stand being inside for too long so, besides going out for his and Miri’s regular exercising, he also took his laptop and other things to pet-friendly cafes with free Wi-Fi to work from there. Gradually he had formed new routines without giving up on those healthy ones that were formed due to Jungkook. After all, what’s built with great effort and patience will likely handle the heaviest of storms and not even be fazed by passing winds.

The downside of that was that the sudden removal of Jungkook’s solid presence in Taehyung’s life was as crippling as losing an arm, a leg and one of the senses. He himself had long given up on fully understanding how they had become that fundamental for each other. He only understood that he had underestimated the difficulty of waiting for so long.

They trusted each other, but they were still human. Anxiety and doubts plagued them in the early stages. Taehyung was afraid that the waiting would end up being in vain and Jungkook would not return. Jungkook was afraid that Taehyung might not wait as he promised. This was what their loss in the bet lasting several months that they had made consisted of and naturally they dreaded it becoming a reality, even if just in the back of their minds, because the stakes were high and they would feel the loss deep inside their core.

However, just as Taehyung was considering at least calling Jungkook, he noticed that the cactus had started blooming. Just as Jungkook was thinking about giving up on the management position and going back to his previous lifestyle and to the two he cared about most, he accidentally pulled out the business card from his wallet, the one Taehyung had made very long ago, and ended up seeing it for the first time in a while.

It was things like these which reminded them that nervousness was a natural part of betting, but also that they had solid reasons to keep their confidence in winning solid. So they calmed down and, gradually, instead of dreading the outcome, they learned to enjoy the anticipation.

Nine months passed and many things happened during them.

One evening, as Taehyung was playing with Miri in the park, she suddenly ran off without listening to Taehyung as he called her back, which was something that had only ever happened before on occasions with a common denominator.

Miri had run to Jungkook, who was playing with her while looking just as excited to see her as Miri was to see him again after such a long time. Jungkook looked healthy, calm and strong, so even if that was the last time Taehyung got to see him, the latter still felt relieved.

He approached Jungkook slowly and with a solemn expression while Jungkook stood up and looked back in the same manner. They stood there wordlessly and still until, after a while, their eyes looked like they were giving off more light and the corners of their lips steadily went up.

T: “So?”

J: “So?”

T: “Will you marry me?”

J: “And move to a different country?”

T: “And get a better place to live in.”

J: “That’s pet-friendly.”

T: “And has thick walls.”

J: “Or at least not so noisy neighbors... How about a farm?”

T: “No.”

J: “No?”

T: “I don’t wanna live on a farm again. But everything else sounds awesome.”

J: “It does, doesn’t it?”

T: “Yeah… But there’s something that’s even more awesome than that.”

J: “What is it?”

T: “No matter where we live and how… I’d like to grow old with you.”

Jungkook took that in, then smiled peacefully and happily.

J: “Yeah… I’d like that too.”

T: “So?”

J: “So?”

T: “Will you marry me?”

J: “Taehyung, do you know that “Be careful what you wish for cause you just might get it” saying?”

T: “Yeah… So?”

J: “So… Looks like we’ll both get what we want.”

T: “All in?”

J: “All in.”