- Last Chance -

Minyoon

Looking at the clock above the door he felt for the first time in his life as a student that time was racing by too quickly. Seconds turned to minutes while he blinked and soon it would all be over, too late, no way back.. And all that. 

Switching his attention from the clock back to the teacher he couldn’t help but to sneak glances to his left as well. Mino was resting his chin on his arms, lazily paying attention to their teachers last word of advice before they left the school for good ready to take on the world. 

On the third time he looked over to his side had Mino caught him looking and smiled back at him. How he loved that smile he thought fondly and how badly he would miss it. 

Seungyoon knew once the bell rang that he would have his last chance to speak to Mino before he left the city. Sudden regret at why he had delayed it until the absolute last minute was hitting him wave by wave but he knew perfectly well

why he had never picked up the courage to confess his feelings before. It was cowardice. He was afraid to lose what he already got, what they shared between them. Their friendship and companionship that had meant everything to him through out their high schooldays together. 

Now that they were quickly about to revolt back to nothingness as Mino followed his long time plan to move to the capitol he knew that it was now or never. 

Looking up at the clock again he felt his stomach turn. Was he really going to do this? Would it really change anything? Both of them got their plans set already. He would go study music at the university while Mino would try to break through as a hiphop artist. 

He had a lot of doubt concerning what he was about to do. Maybe him confessing his feelings would make them lose contact entirely? It might give Mino the excuse Seungyoon had always feared would come. The excuse to drop him. Because he had always known that he weren’t like them. The rest of Mino’s friends.

Although he too loved music and they had both been in the music club weren’t he really part of the cool crowd. He was there for the instruments, the guitars, the piano and of course he loved to sing. He didn’t rap though, not like they did and Mino was the most clever lyricist he knew. It wasn’t just how he delivered his verses, but the meaning behind them too. 

He thought about all the late evenings they had shared together, staying behind at the music club to finish another song, only to run like madmen to catch the last bus home. His mom would be furious, yelling out of worry, but always forgiving him once he showed her their newest song. 

Now there would be no more of that. No new songs.. or catching random movies together, or eating too much pizza until they felt nauseous, or lazy summer days on the grass by the river sharing dreams for their future careers. No more of anything because Mino was leaving. Today. 

Anxiously peering up at the clock for the last time that day he watched as their final seconds together in this exact classroom ticked away. 

The bell rang, everyone got to their feet, sounds of chairs scraping, some people cheering others crying and saying their goodbyes. It all felt like a whirlwind around him while he just waited.

He had promised himself he wouldn’t cry. At least not until he got home. His plan to get Mino on his own was simple enough because they had both agreed to stop by the music club one last time to say goodbye to their teacher. Once they had said their goodbyes he would just have to pluck up the courage to say it. 

To admit that he had loved Mino all this time. Not just as a friend, but as his everything. There was no one he admired or adored more and his heart had already begun shattering into a thousand pieces just at the thought of having to let go. 

He said his goodbye to their other classmates and watched as Mino did the same. 

    "Let’s get going" Mino said picking up a duffle bag from the back of the classroom. It was a painful reminder that Mino was more than ready to go through with the next step of his plan right away. 

Seungyoon knew Mino would do well, amazing even and that made everything even more difficult because what if he confessed and Mino did what he wanted him to? To stay behind with him would mean sacrificing his dream. 

It was sickening how selfish he felt for wanting Mino to stay with him so bad. How much he wanted to be the most important thing in Mino’s life, but in the end would music come first. Music, dreams and aspirations. Right? Wasn’t that what youth was about anyway? Pursuing your dreams at any cost?

They walked down the hall in silence. He, wallowing in his feeling of grief, already dreading the rejection that he knew was coming, while Mino smiled happily at his phone, typing away at a lightning fast speed. 

They got to the music room only to meet their old teacher by the door. He greeted them happily and gave them both his best wishes. Saying how he knew they both would achieve great things if they only dared follow their dreams. To Seungyoon it felt like a stab in the chest. For both of them to follow their dreams would they have to give up on each other. An impossible thing for him to do, while for Mino it seemed to be as easy as breathing. 

Soon he would be gone with the first summer breeze, leaving Seungyoon behind. 

    "Should we go in and take one last look?" Mino asked. already opening the door for him. 

He nodded silently and followed after Mino into the large music room. The lights were off and so the room was only lit by the small windows all the way up by the ceiling. In winter snow would cover them completely, hardly letting in any light, but today the warm summer sunshine was flowing in illuminating every spec of dust bold enough to fly into the direct rays of light. 

Looking over at Mino he felt his breath catch in his chest and the words he had planed to say muddle together in his throat. 

Instead of looking around like they had said they would were they only looking at each other. 

    "You know the plan, they are picking me up at the gate" Mino began. Seungyoon nodded. He knew the plan. "I knew saying good bye would be hard" Mino began, but stopped mid-sentence to let out a small cough. 

    "You are my best friend" there it was, the friend word Seungyoon though.

     "These years together doing music" but not each otherhe mentally added because lately he had thought about that.. A lot. 

    "We even kissed once" they sure had, although very drunk earlier this spring. They never spoke about that, he thought Mino didn’t remember. So why was he bringing it up now? 

Mino looked at him as if he was waiting for him to put pieces together in a puzzle made for a three year old, but he couldn’t get it. What point was Mino trying to make that he weren’t able to catch on to? 

    "We even kissed once" he copied. Feeling the word kiss in his mouth like some bitter pill too hard to swallow. Mino bringing this up had caught him of guard and he didn’t know how to continue the conversation. He had made up his mind to confess this morning, but he was scared of the answer he would get. 

    "You aren’t usually this slow" Mino mumbled, taking one step closer. 

    "What do you mean slow? I guess I’m just a bit out of it. You are leaving after all" he replied looking down at his shoes, nudging at a black spot in the linoleum  covered floor. 

    "I guess I’m just trying to say that I don’t want to leave" Mino said then and Seungyoon forced himself to look up, to better interpret what it was Mino was actually saying. 

    "But you have to" he responded almost immediately after seeing Mino’s expression. There was real doubt in his eyes, there was no mistaking that. 

    "I know that, but I’d be leaving you behind wouldn’t I?" Mino said, taking his hands out of his pockets fidgeting slightly with a loose string of thread by the zipper before pulling it off in one swift motion. 

The sudden quick hand gesture brought Seungyoon out of his daze. That was it, he though, like a bandaid, quick and direct would be better after all. 

    "I really don’t want you to leave" he said, staring directly into Mino’s dark eyes now. 

Swallowing hard he waited for Mino’s reply. Mino opened his mouth as if to say something and then closed it again. Only to do the same once again a few seconds later. 

So much for quick and painless Seungyoon thought. 

    "It’s okay, I know you have too" he finally said after watching Mino do a third round of his goldfish imitation. In the end he couldn’t say it, what was the point of confessing when there was no future for them anyway. 

    "I’ll walk you to the gate. They must be waiting for you already" he heard himself say, numbness overtaking him as he took one step towards Mino who was standing between him and the exit door. 

Mino shook his head then. 

    "They can wait a little longer" he said, grabbing Seungyoon’s hand, pulling him towards him in one swift motion. He wasn’t entirely surprised by this, Mino was a hugger and it might just be that, a sad goodbye hug and so he let Mino hug him. 

Feeling the strong arms around his back, being pulled into Mino’s warm chest he couldn’t help but to let out a small sigh. The mixture of laundry detergent, deodorant and something earthy he figured had to be perfume filled his nostrils making him slightly lightheaded. 

Seungyoon knew he would treasure this moment for the rest of his life because although Mino might not love him back the same way was there no denying that their friendship and shared memories were dear to them both. 

    "I really will miss you" he mumbled, turning his head a little so that he was nuzzling into Mino’s neck ever so lightly. 

    "I’ll come visit" Mino replied, loosening the hug slowly letting one hand slide up Seungyoon’s back. It made his skin tingle and although completely heartbroken by now he couldn’t help but to smile. 

    "I’d love that" he replied feeling tears dwell up in his eyes. Refusing to let go of the hug just yet he clutched some of Mino’s shirt in his hand. 

    "I love you" Mino replied. 

…

…

    "You what?" Seungyoon pulled away, nose snotty, eyes blurry with the tears of someone at the verge of a breakdown. 

    "I love you" Mino repeated, face flushed with emotion too. 

He couldn’t believe his ears. Blinking more tears out of his eyes he shook his head in disbelief. 

    "No, no, I’m the one who love you" he corrected, certain that his mind was messing with him now because surely he must have lost it completely. 

    "So what you are saying?" Mino began hesitant.

    "I love you, have loved you for ages and probably will love you for a very long time still" he burst out unable to hold back any longer now that he felt there was a twinge of hope. 

    "Why didn’t you say anything?" Mino asked rubbing his face with both palms, obviously struggling to take in the situation as well. 

    "Because I treasured our friendship, I weren’t willing to gamble with that" he admitted although he was already feeling a bit angry at himself for not confessing before. All those missed opportunities.  

    "I’m sorry for not realizing my feelings before" Mino said, looking up from his hands. "I’ve had this plan set up for so long, but the closer we got to today the more uneasy I felt and it was all because of you. The thought of leaving you and not knowing when we will see each other again.. It was so painful. Thats love right?" 

That was when it dawned on him that Mino only had realized his feelings right then in that moment and Seungyoon didn’t quite know what to make of it all. 

    "Might just be, yeah" he replied taking one step closer so that they were standing with their faces a mere centimeter apart. 

He wanted to kiss Mino so bad in that moment, but he couldn’t bring himself to do it. He didn’t want to be that kind of person, who pushed his feelings onto others in hopes of forcing the response he wanted. 

Instead he smiled. Smiled because he got hope. All weren’t lost after all. 

    "Um, can I just check something?" Mino asked. Slightly confused at this question Seungyoon blinked, waiting. 

Expecting Mino to take up his phone or even to run over to the windows he was taken by surprise when Mino lifted both his hands until they were gently touching his face. Feeling the gentle touch to both side of his face he noticed how his heart was racing ahead of him, making him feel dizzy. 

    "What?" he whispered as he felt Mino’s thumb brush one of his cheeks lightly. 

    "Shhh" Mino replied eyes staring bellow his own nose. 

Seconds later he was being kissed and it was a kiss thousands of times better than the sloppy drunken first kiss they had shared many months ago. It was soft and searching, as if their souls were connecting and transferring secret data without their consciousness filtering what should be revealed to the other or not. 

He felt as Mino’s hand moved slowly from his face, to his jaw, down his neck and onto his nape. Pulling him in even closer. Daring to be a bit bolder he let his hands wander too, until they found the hem of Mino’s shirt. 

Hesitating for a moment he waited as Mino deepened the kiss, before sneaking his cool hands under Mino’s shirt. He felt as Mino tensed up for a second as their skin met, but soon relaxed back into their kiss.

The warm skin and the muscular back against his hands was something he had longed to touch on so many occasions, but never dared to. He let his hands travel all the way up Mino’s back, pulling him in as close as they could possibly be without losing their balance. 

It was then Mino’s phone began ringing. 

At first they had ignored it, but the caller was persistent and soon they broke apart. Biting on his bottom lip in disappointment he watched as Mino checked his phone. 

    "It’s them" he said still not answering. 

    "I still think you should go" he said urging Mino to take the call. He shook his head no at first, but in the end he picked up. 

    "I’ll be right there" he said and hung up again. 

    "Long distance then?" Mino said, holding out a hand towards him. He nodded. Anything was fine with him because it was still a thousand times more than what he had hoped for to begin with. 

    "I’ll come visit you before your semester starts" Mino said, sneaking one quick kiss before they left the old music room for good. 

    "I’d like that" he replied, refusing to let go of Mino’s hand just yet. 

    "I’ll come see your first rap battle" he promised, smiling at the though. 

    "Of course, I’ll need you there to cheer me on. Mino said striking a bit of a pose as they walked.

He’d be there cheering alright, at every opportunity he got and he was sure now that Mino would do the same for him. Together they would reach their goals and dreams and he knew that although the road to get there would be long, so would it be a fun trip because he had Mino there right by his side.

Authors note: A few people have mentioned over the past few weeks that I should try writing angst. So I thought "sure, I’ll give it a try". It didn’t work out xD Because this was the result. 

I’ll try again soon, although a sequel for this might be entertaining to write too *wiggles eyebrows* I hope you liked it. Thank you for reading (and commenting maybe? I’d appreciate that!)

Until next time then ❤️