This particular December morning felt so cold and empty. The dull sounds of the buzzing city filled the silent room. I stared at the digital alarm clock on the nightstand beside my bed. It was 6 in the morning but the sky looked so gloomy already. One more sleepless night had passed. I was very sure that I looked like a panda by this time.

I pushed myself up from the bed and walked to the bathroom. I stopped in front of the mirror. When I looked at myself in the mirror, all I could see was a tired looking old lady. 34 years old wasn’t that old; yet. I scoffed at my own reflection. Where did Jung Haneul go? Since when did I become like this?

This wasn’t me but who was I?

The manager of the accounting department? No, that’s just my position at the office.

The novelist “Celina”? No, that’s just the person who tried to realize a perfect dream in the form of words.

The role model in high school? No, that’s the person who my parents w