Añio, it's me. Hope you like this chapter.

Since June 12th I couldn't listen to iKON music 'cause ever when I try I ending crying so yeah, but yesterday and today I've listened to Bobby's Swimm so I wrote this chapter yesterday and translated this morning. Maybe it's not very good but maybe you like it a bit.

Note:

In Spanish, "person" is a feminine substantive so I used "she" to talk about it, but my intention at use "person" was that Bobby didn't refer to any specific gender. Sorry if I couldn't express in a better way that part.

5

For Hanbin there were no rest days. If he was not attending the schedule his agency had designated to him, including TV shows recordings, photoshoots, interviews, etc., he was in his studio, writing, composing, producing. 

His life was the music and there was nothing that made him feel better than composing something, working it patiently and obtaining the final product as he had imagined.

He not only composed based on inspiration but also on work hard. Even on the days when he felt his brain too dry to create something, he wrote. But right now he didn't feel like he was forcing himself to squeeze the last drop of imagination. No, he was inspired and in the way that only Bobby managed to cause him. His mind was buzzing with hundreds of ideas at the same time, his hand was moving too slowly for the speed of his thoughts, whatever he was writing would be unintelligible tomorrow  —for anyone other than him. 

It had been two weeks since he had met with Bobby to compare verses and two more were missing for them to meet for the recording, however, the ideas had not stopped bubbling since that dinner together and he had already lost count of how many lyrics he had written and how many tracks he had composed. 

From the first time he had seen Bobby in Show Me the Money and heard him rap in front of San E, he had felt this way, full of an explosive rapture that had led him to write more than ten songs during that day and compose their music for a week. 

Thinking about it now, he realized that Bobby represented something much more to him than he thought. It wasn't just that unique artist that caught his attention and made him feel connected through his music. Bobby was more than that, Bobby was his muse, his numen. 

Finally giving a name, something more substantial, to what Bobby causes him, Hanbin left what he had been composing, took one of his worn-out notebooks and began writing a song for Bobby without just rationalizing thoughts or feelings. 

Hanbin let everything flow and felt so good in the end.

Two hours had been enough to finish that work. He listened to it only once and put it in the folder of songs that might never see the light of day or reach anyone else's ears. That folder with songs full of pain and sadness that now added one full of... he didn’t know what, or if he knew, preferred not to name it wrong that he was not completely sure.

   His phone vibrated, distracting him from thoughts he didn't want to dig deep.

🐰 Bobbhyung 🐰 >

Today 11:15 PM

What ya doin? Sure u’re in

ur studio, right?

Bobbhyung! 

maybe yes ^^

what about you?

In my studio...

'm stuck w a song

My head hurts 

Can't get out of this stupid chorus

why I write 

smth so in awful?

😣😣😣

Bobbhyung ☹️

Is there anything in which

can I help you?

🥺

Yeah Hanbinnie! 

If u could come b wondrful

Seein u’d make me feel better

😳

Oh

Ehm ... Of course I can go

Unless it's not seriously

and just be your way

of saying that

you don't need my help

which I understand perfectly

'm already waitin 4 u

😚

   Hanbin saved all his files open, turned off his computer and left his studio in a blink. 

He was alone because Yunhyeong had days off, just like him, but unlike him, his manager did use them to rest, go home and see his family. 

As soon as he left the agency he took a taxi and headed to Bobby's studio.

Although they had been sending texts every day for all that time, and although Bobby had even called him several times, knowing that he would see him in person deeply excited him. He felt as cheerful as he was nervous. 

After writing a song for him, of course, he was more self-conscious of himself and to where he was leaning the balance of his feelings —which he didn’t know if it was good or bad. Anyway, it was something he would try to ignore for the sake of his growing friendship with Bobby.

    Bobby was frustrated by two things: not being able to see Hanbin in two long weeks, and the stupid chorus that refused to flow easily.  

The second was something that could almost be deduced as logical, Bobby had never written romantic songs —or at least romantic ones for him. 

And the first, it was also logical considering that he had fallen fast and hard for Hanbin since the first time and, with every word they had exchanged, with every shy look, with every tender smile, every message, every call, he had been sinking more and more and now he was stuck at the bottom and with no desire to leave. So yes, Bobby not only wanted to see Hanbin, he needed to see him. 

   He watched the clock on his computer screen feeling that every minute stretched forever before switching to the next. Bobby had never felt so eager to see someone. Of course, he had had girlfriends and wished to see them and had that warm feeling when he was with them, but, with no desire to compare or underestimate what he had had with them at that time, Hanbin made him feel somewhat deeper even though he had only a month to meet him and that they had only met in person twice. 

He was not afraid of feeling this way, just as he had not been afraid to realize that he had liked a man for the first time in his life. Hanbin was becoming someone too precious for him to have such fears. 

    It was a knocked on the door after almost forty eternities. Bobby jumped out of his seat and made three strides necessary to reach the doorknob. Hanbin's face lit up his cloudy vision and emptiness him of all stress. 

   “Bobbhyung.”

   “Hanbinnie.” 

Bobby smiled enormously, showing his rabbit smile, his eyes almost disappearing —it was one of the most real smiles he had ever given. Hanbin imitated him, giving him that shy but sincere smile, with his cheekbones high and flushed. Bobby thought about how much he would like to see him smile all the time.

He passed Hanbin, placing a hand on his shoulder to guide him to the sofa behind the desk, almost next to the door. 

    “You don't look so stressed, Bobbhyung,” Hanbin said without looking away from his face.

Bobby smiled, he liked to realize that now Hanbin could see him for longer in the eyes. 

   “It's because you're here. Although I suffered a lot while waiting for you. I really wanted to see you, if I could I would hug you.”

He clenched his mouth almost forming a pout, realizing that he had talked too much. Hanbin was red from ears to the neck.

He thought of saying something to remedy his words but preferred to see how Hanbin reacted.

The boy looked down, shaking his head once before looking him in the eye again. Bobby didn't lose sight of the way his throat moved by swallowing nervously, nor the way he started playing with the hem of his shirt.

   “Bobbhyung…” Hanbin held his breath for a long time, when he let out a kind of shaky breath he started again with what he seemed to mean. “I ... I'm sorry it took me long.”

The intensity in Bobby's gaze grew. Hanbin hadn't said something to him as if he thought Bobby was joking and he hadn't asked him to stop. 

If he could, Bobby would already be kissing him, but he knew it was too early to do something so daring. Hanbin was too sweet and innocent. That Bobby would pounce on him would probably leave him in shock, besides, Bobby needed to be sure that Hanbin also felt something for him. Something more than admiration.

    “Okay, don't worry, it was me who made you come here so late, Hanbinnie.”

Hanbin looked down again, at his lap, and then turning his gaze to Bobby's desk. 

   “Is there anything I can help you with?”

    “You've done enough coming, but if you insist, let me lean on you.”

Hanbin turned to see him completely excited, almost losing all shyness in his gaze, but retaining the blush on his cheekbones. 

    “Of course, Bobbhyung.”

Bobby leaned on his side on the back of the sofa, holding his head over one of his hands. He liked this, that Hanbin was there with him, to be able to see him, feel the warmth of his body even if it was through that short distance and not directly against his body, to breathe his sweet and masculine natural perfume. Bobby had noticed that Hanbin didn't use lotions or perfumes, which was fascinating.

   “I had never written anything... romantic. And I'm trying that now,” he said with a sigh of frustration. “I put aside what I had planned and moved to this idea, which means my bosses only gave me one more month to be able to have everything ready, but although I already have all the songs planned and practically all the tracks on which I'm gonna work, all of them lack something and, above all, this one with which I have been stuck for three damn days. The chorus is not working the way I want. You know, Dong got fed up with me because I was growling all day and left me here alone.” 

Hanbin tilted his body a little as if he wanted to provide physical support but at the end contain himself. Bobby didn’t know if he had only imagined it or not, but he lamented that Hanbin did not and that he himself couldn’t do it himself. So he got up, stretching his arms and making his backbones cracked before going to his desk. Hanbin went after him.

  “Why... why did you change your mind? Was there something special or different that made you think about giving this new approach to your album?” Asked Hanbin, taking a seat in the same place as the first time he had been there.

You , Bobby thought.

   “Yeah.” 

   “Oh.”

Hanbin looked at him differently for a second, just a second. He looked at him as if he was dying to know what had made him want to compose other types of music. He looked at him as if he had never expected that from him. He looked at it as if... as if he felt sad. But perhaps the latter was just Bobby creating strange ideas. 

    “What do you want to tell in this song?” Hanbin settled himself differently on his chair, leaning on the back with a little more ease and confidence, crossing his legs in a masculine way.

Bobby smirked.

    “The way I feel about that person, how I can't stop thinking about her and how everything is better when she's by my side.”

Hanbin considered it.

    “You are clear about what you want, so I suppose it is the correct words that cannot be written.” 

Bobby nodded. 

He didn't want anything too romantic, but something relaxed and exciting, something that always reminded you of hot summer nights and the waves in the background. Something that made you think of a relaxed and young type of love, but sincere and deep. 

    “Can you show me what you have?” 

Bobby showed him his notes and the music track and immediately Hanbin displayed that serious and professional side again. It was fascinating to be able to see him that way, to observe the transition of his gesture that left all shyness aside, composing a sharp and perceptive look. 

Bobby loved that side of Hanbin. But maybe Bobby could love all sides of Hanbin. How he wished he could know all those facets that until now he hadn’t had the privilege of seeing. At the same time he felt sad for not having met Hanbin before, when he was younger and began to form his character, as well as happy and eager to discover every detail of his personality; Bobby imagined Hanbin as an exotic flower that would slowly open each of its petals until he completely saw its essence.

    Hanbin was happy to have Bobby's trust. He really was happy. Even so, there was something in his chest that wouldn't let him be at peace. Maybe it was because just an hour ago he had written a song for Bobby while the rapper was there, creating a complete album for someone else. Which, obviously, shouldn't be a problem, Bobby could and had every right to write songs for the person he wanted and besides, Hanbin wasn't even quite clear with what intention he had written that song —that he would never show anyone more— but…

Agh.

   Bobby's song was good. Too good. Hanbin loved that rhythm so different from all the other songs his hyung had released. 

By the lyrics, Hanbin deduced that the person Bobby was talking about was someone who had recently entered his life, someone who had impressed his hyung to the point of not being able to stop thinking about her —which was more than evident in knowing that she had inspired him to write a complete album and not just a song. 

    “I think,” he said after listening to the track twice, “that you can complete the song with what you have here if you make some changes. You could move this phrase to the beginning and start directly with the chorus, add two more verses to make the stanza feel more complete.”

    “Lemme try.” Bobby took the notebook, giving him a small smile.

Hanbin liked the way Bobby was when he concentrated, showed a seriousness that Hanbin was attracted to. 

Bobby looked masculine no matter what gesture he had, but that level of seriousness Hanbin had only been able to see him through a screen while watching Bobby make his music for Show Me the Money. Now that he could have that in front of his eyes, what he most wanted was to raise his hand and pass it through each sharp faction of his hyung's face. Which of course was not right.

Hanbin ignored that last thought and concentrated again on seeing his hyung worked. Bobby crossed out his own lyrics and wrote on top of them. He modified words and phrases, frowned and repeated his actions a couple of times until he showed a tenderly satisfied look.

    “Lemme record this, ‘kay?”

Hanbin nodded with a smile. 

Bobby adjusted the microphone so that he could record looking directly at Hanbin. He took a drink of water and Hanbin mirrored his actions without realizing it. He didn't know why he was so nervous.

The music started.

    “ Locked with your thoughts, I'm swimming with u right here…”

Hanbin felt a shiver run down his back, his heart beating rampant. Did Bobby have to see him straight in the eye while singing? 

Oh, god, Hanbin wanted to look away but couldn’t, he was trapped under the intensity of Bobby; his dark and heavy look, his almost arrogant, but sweet smile, the way he leaned toward him and how he moved his hands wanting to express more and more the feeling of his song, and above all, that very different way of rapping-singing.

It was as if he were singing to him. As if he was dedicating that song to him.

What was impossible, but that felt so good if he wanted to imagine it that way. 

At the end of the song the two stared at each other, Hanbin didn’t know what to say and, in reality, didn’t want to interrupt that silence so... wet and intimate. 

   “Did you like it, Hanbinnie?” Bobby asked after a while, his eyes only drifted a second, looking toward his chin.

Hanbin swallowed, biting his lip. He didn't know why he was more nervous than before. It was a different nervousness. Perhaps he was becoming increasingly aware of things that could not be possible.

    “I loved it, Bobbhyung , it will be a success.”  

    “If you like it then it already is.” 

Hanbin couldn’t keep holding his gaze, it was too much, his imagination wanted to start flying to improper places. 

    “I have to go, hyung. I'm glad you could get out of your mental block with this song.” Hanbin got up, looking everywhere but straight ahead. “See you.”

Bobby's hand held him by the wrist, a firm and soft grip that made his skin bristle. 

    “Hanbin,” Bobby called him, the voice hoarser and deeper than other times, Hanbin couldn't help feeling his face heated, “thanks for coming.”

Hanbin forced himself to stare at Bobby, even if it was for less than three seconds.

   “Thank you for inviting me.” 

Bobby released him slowly, tracing the index finger gently across his skin. Hanbin clenched his throat so as not to let out a strange sigh. 

    “See you another day, Hanbinnie.”