Hi, guys.

I'm here again. I wanted to update this before, but I was sad feeling incomplete —the usual but whatever.
I'm still sad just you are —I think— but hey, I'm trying and I know you too.
This last week I buried my mind in Hannibal 'cause everything felt harder since was the first concert of iKON without Hanbinnie, so yeah I distracted myself with murders husbands.
Why am I telling you that? Oh, yeah 'cause thanks to my sadness soul and Hannigram I didn't update this before.
If someone was waiting for this, sorry. If not, I think it's OK, actually better.

4

Hanbin was reading his chat with Bobby again. A sly smile drawn on his face, a smile he simply couldn’t help because he was so happy knowing that all this was real, that he and Bobby were in the process of releasing a song together, that they had been talking all the week by texts as friends of all life, and that they were to be seen again that afternoon.

Bobbhyung ☺ ️ >

Yesterday 05:46 PM

Hey, did u dream with me?

😜

Hey, hello

ehm ... I do not remember ^^!

I only know that I slept very well

😑

u always tell me the same Hanbinnie

I think u don’t like me

No!! Hyung I like you very much

I just never remember my dreams

It's Yunhyeong hyung's fault

he wakes me up doing so much  noise

and I forget everything

Chanwoo wakes me up by throwing water at my face

😑😑😑😑😑

kkkk heavy sleeper?

nope

just Chanwoo being Chanwoo  

he likes to annoy me

hahahahahahhahahaha

I would prefer that u wake me up

🤭

hahahaha hyung I could not

if I saw you asleep I would end  

lying down beside you instead of

make you get up

oh, that's even better

granted

😉

hahaha you are always very funny

And what are you doing now, hyung?

Have you eaten something?

nope

I'm lying on the couch

in Dong's studio

He said me to come n help him

but he's doin all by himself

Then you should go eat something

You shouldn’t neglect your health, hyung

I’m gonna eat if you go with me

🌊🌊🌊

Leggo leggo leggo leggo

I'm sorry hyung

I'm not in Seoul right now 😔

I back tomorrow at midday

🥺

I wanted to eat with Hanbinnie

Then I’ll not eat until I see u

Hyung! Don’t say that

🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺

hyung ...

maybe…

you want

I don't know

eat by video call?

I'm sorry, it's silly right

🥰 yay ! Hanbinnie you really love me🥰

I’ll call u rn

Bobby had called him right after sending him the last text. And they had talked all afternoon. First deciding what they would eat, because if they were going to eat together, it had to be the same —according to Bobby. And then while they had waited for their food to arrive.

While they had been eating, they had talked about many things. Bobby had always had a question to ask or an answer to give and an anecdote to tell. Sometime later, when they had already had a little more than three hours talking and Hanbin had had to say goodbye, Bobby had told him that he was looking forward to tomorrow, so he could do exactly the same, but being by his side. Hanbin had hung up with a big and bright smile, feeling that Bobby had really meant what he had said.

He didn’t understand how it was possible for him to feel so close to Bobby now that they spoke practically all day by text —and he didn’t ask himself too much. It was just something extraordinary that was happening and he wanted to enjoy it. He didn’t know if it would be something that would last a blink; a friendship that ended with the release of the song. But he didn’t want to worry now, in general, he didn’t want to worry about anything, or with this. He had lived a long time stressed years ago and now all he wanted was to be happy and appreciate the present with every inch of his soul. 

 “Hanbinah, ready? We have half an hour to reach the restaurant.”

Hanbin nodded to Yunhyeong before getting up from his seat. He was really excited to see Bobby again.

      Upon arriving at the restaurant, the first thing Bobby did was order enough food for him and Hanbin, things he imagined the boy might like. He knew that Hanbin wouldn’t bother at him for ordering without asking him, it was too good to do so. 

While he waited, he watched some videos of Hanbin; performances, interviews, MVs. After meeting him, he had dedicated himself to finding anything about him on the internet. He didn’t feel uncomfortable with the cameras that the program staff had installed, he had agreed to help Hanbin in this and, being recorded in meetings related to the song was necessary. 

He smiled when he heard Hanbin talking about him during an interview, his admiration for Bobby was palpable; he felt it in the way he expressed his words with big hands movements and tender shine looks, by the way, his lips twisted into a shy smile or a big bright smile. 

   Sometime later, when the food was brought by a waitress, he decided to take off his headphones, take out his notebook and go over what he had written for the song. 

His lyrics were powerful even in his simplicity, he didn’t seek to make complicated metaphors —not for this song; he wanted to send the direct and resounding message. Something that was understood by everyone since the first time they hear it. 

He hoped it was he who got the first verse, he knew that Hanbin would come with something incredible, but somehow, he also knew that this time it would be better if Hanbin was the one to close. 

   The door of the small private room opened, Hanbin stuck his head out, a shy and cheerful smile drawn on his face. 

    “Hyung, hello.”

Bobby smiled enormously, getting up to receive Hanbin.

    “Hanbinnie, good to see you, how have you been?” 

He approached him to greet him with a handshake and a clash of shoulders  —he really wanted to hug him, but he was controlling his instincts. Even so, he grabbed him by the arm until he brought him to the table and made him sit down.

    “I ordered the food, I hope it doesn't bother you. I did it thinking about what you could wish for. ”He winked, Hanbin blushed and nodded.

    “It doesn't bother me, hyung. Thanks for inviting me.”

Bobby smiled broadly, taking a plate to serve him stew. Hanbin thanked him bowing his head, his smile still shy. 

It was nice, to have him there in front of him, with his cheeks slightly red, that small, tender smile, the gleaming look in his eyes. Bobby felt… he felt like someone extraordinary thanks to Hanbin. It was not, of course, the first time he caused admiration in someone, however, it was the first time he was attracted to someone who saw him that way. 

Bobby had had several relationships, all with women who, before meeting his side on stage, had known him as the relaxed and carefree boy he used to be in his day-to-day life. After Show Me the Money, he had only dated an old friend —a relationship that didn't last long— because while his fame continued to rise, women interested in his money and the reflectors that pointed to his face also grew in quantity and those who were looking for him with a more real interest, simply disappeared.

    “Did you have problems with your lyrics?”

Hanbin made a thoughtful gesture, his gaze aimed at the ceiling and not at Bobby. 

    “At first. I... I kept thinking about what your lyrics might be, what rhythm you would use, what kind of words or expressions, and I... I wanted to make mine match with yours, make them feel perfect together.” Hanbin laughed as if will make fun of himself. “Then I realized that it was impossible that I could do that, and that if I did, I would be limiting my essence in my own music, so I relaxed and went to walk to the Han River and when I returned to the studio, everything flowed.” 

Bobby smiled, raising his hand to take Hanbin's, but controlling himself on time; instead, he grabbed a bowl with roasted vegetables.

    “I'm glad. I wouldn't like you to lose yourself just for trying to fit in with me. Actually, that would bother me. I like you as you are, I like your music as it is.” 

Hanbin's face burned, but he said nothing besides a thank you. He did not seem as nervous as on that first occasion, that day when they had met and he could not see Bobby in the eyes, it was clear that he still did not feel completely safe in front of him; a certainly cute act, but that Bobby had hoped to no longer see this time. The way they had been speaking by text suggested something more intimate, a recent and growing friendship, so Hanbin should be more authentic and less uneasy. 

Bobby leaned in one hand, tilting his body back a little, looking directly at Hanbin, who was trying to eat without his hand shaking when he held his chopsticks. He smirked, he liked to see that side of Hanbin because he felt… powerful —by causing that kind of reaction in someone, in him— but he knew he had to encourage the boy to open up for him in person as he had done by phone. He needed him to do it, he was not willing to let it go that easy, to their relationship wouldn't move forward and end when their project together was realized and released.  

    “How was your week? You were very busy, right? An artist's life is more complicated than one thinks, isn't it?”

That simple question made Hanbin relax a little, giving him a smile that made the rapper feel his stomach flip and flop. 

Hanbin was too cute. Bobby couldn't explain himself how much he liked him. He had known him a few days ago, only a few days, but he already felt so close to him. Even if Hanbin was nervous or if his cheeks were red or if his smile seemed to tremble as if trying not to smile too widely. It wasn't just because of the immense amount of texts they had shared, it was something in Hanbin, something incredible. 

Was he falling in love? 

Probably.

   Hanbin told him how his activities of the week had gone. He was about to announce his comeback in the coming weeks and his agency had filled his schedule to appear on TV shows and magazines with the intention that the public would recognize him more, win some fans and make himself noticed in Naver and music apps searches.

Bobby told him about his plans, that he was also in the process of releasing a new album, but that he was still deciding which songs would go on this one. Hanbin was immediately excited to hear that and kept asking, his eyes bigger and darker, but as bright as two elegant pieces of onyx.  

They continued to eat for a long time, talking about a lot of things, from themes that had already talked by message to old stories they shared with each other. Hanbin made Bobby laugh a lot with his elementary school time anecdotes, Bobby told him about his days in ia. 

   Sometime later, when they had finished their meals, Bobby finally showed his lyrics to Hanbin.  

He liked very much that the boy left that bright gaze of admiration, to pose a professional and attentive on the sheet he gave. At first, Bobby thought that maybe Hanbin couldn't understand his handwriting, because it was horrible and careless and even he used to not understand it sometimes. Hanbin understood everything. He asked questions, one or another suggestion, and then said that it was not necessary for Bobby to pay attention to his comments. 

Bobby paid absolute attention to each of them.  

Hanbin's suggestions were not advice he gave as a rapper feeling superior and talking about what he would do instead but objective comments about what Bobby could improve, in his own style and decision. 

Hanbin took out his notebook, broken and used when they finished with Bobby's verse. Bobby loved that they both use notebooks instead of typing on smartphones or tablets. And he loved seeing the state in which Hanbin had that notebook, he could feel the whole story and the love that was in that little object. 

   “I was a little nervous to show you my notes, I handwrite horrible, but yours are not much better than mine," Hanbin laughed, a loud laugh that sprang from the bottom of his chest. A laugh that Bobby wanted to hear over and over again. He looked so cute laughing like that.

    “I thought I was ready to teach calligraphy, Hanbinnie, you broke my heart.”

Hanbin opened his eyes wide but instantly understood that Bobby was joking and laughed again. 

Bobby raised his eyebrows when he realized that Hanbin's handwriting was a bit worse than his. There were words written so quickly that only a couple of lines took the form of signs, which left incomprehensible phrases. 

    “Hanbinnie, what did you write here?”

Bobby turned the notebook, placing his arm above the table, pointing a finger at the second line. Hanbin approached a little, frowned a second and then replied:

   “Afraid.”

Bobby smiled and nodded.

He continued reading, but in the next line, he met with two words he didn’t quite understand. He looked up, Hanbin tilted his head and smiled embarrassedly.

   “Come here, I need you to tell me what the hell this means,” he laughed.

Hanbin got up from his place on the other side of the table and sat next to him, leaving a small space between them. A space that Bobby made disappear by tilting his body towards him.

He watched as Hanbin's apple went up and down, before telling him the meaning of another word he hadn't understood.

   “And this one?” He pointed to another word.

   “Ignore.”

Bobby moved closer to Hanbin.

    “This?”

   “Kilter.”

Bobby kept asking until Hanbin seemed to realize that he was just doing it at random.

    “Hyung!” 

Bobby laughed out loud at him. He gave a little squeeze on Hanbin’s leg and apologized with a huge smile.

     “Okay, okay, I'm sorry, Hanbinnie. Better rap for me, I want to hear it from you.”

Hanbin's face burned like the first day he saw him, his neck and ears were also red and bright. Still, he did not refuse. 

First, he cleared his throat without turning to see Bobby, but the instant he did, Bobby felt a shiver in his entire body. Even if his face was the same shade as a ripe strawberry, Hanbin had such an intense look that he squashed to the bottom of his soul. Bobby wanted to take him by the neck and kiss him, throwing him against the floor.

He held back, of course.

He also stopped those thoughts, it was not the time for them.

I wasn't going to ruin the friendship I was just cultivating — much less in front of the cameras.

    Hanbin didn't know how he had managed to rap so safely in front of Bobby —his favourite artist (had he already said he was his favourite?). Be that as it may, he had succeeded. And he hadn't been wrong or stuttered and... had had all of Bobby's attention on him.

All the attention of Bobby. Just for him.

His stomach still felt heavy thanks to a knot of emotion and nervousness. His face was still red. His hands were sweaty. But, it felt so good. That Bobby saw him and listened to him just had been something... extraordinary. A unique and incredible event that he didn't believe would live again after the song was released.  

Bobby applauded him. A huge smile, that showing his rabbit teeth, was drawn on his angular and masculine face. 

Strange, before Bobby already seemed like a handsome man —of course, not only for his face but for that cool side he showed on stage, all that natural swag— but now, now he felt there was something else in him. Something that made him much more attractive, much more... inviting.

Hanbin denied mentally. No, no, no, he wasn't like those fans who put a romantic love in the artist he admired. He knew the differences and was not going to fool himself.

    “You are great, Hanbinnie. I'm glad I accepted your proposal. No, I'm glad I met you.”

Hanbin felt his throat dry. Hell no! Hanbin, focus.

   “Thank you, hyung. But you are the only one who is great here.”

Bobby shook his head. 

   “Bin, I appreciate your admiration, but that doesn't mean you aren’t too.” Bobby patted his knee, Hanbin felt he had touched him directly inside his chest, making his heart jump. “I was thinking that it would be good if your verse was the second, but I don't know if that would bother you.”

Now it was Hanbin who denied strongly, he himself had been thinking about that even before he began writing his lyrics.

   “That's just what I had thought, Bobbhyung, that you were the first verse and I was the second. It will be great because I don't know, it's as if we had written our lyrics together. I think they complement each other perfectly.”

   “As if one were the continuation of the other,” Bobby added, making him feel very happy.

Bobby told him about more ideas he had had, how he had made it very easy to write based on the chorus they had composed together, how the music had been in his head since last Monday and how he had been inspired thanks to him to make new music.

Hanbin felt ashamed for such joy that those words caused him. He felt lucky. He felt completely happy. He had not felt a kind of happiness like that for a long time.