She’s scraping the floor off of dried blood as a grin blooms across her face. It’s natural and bright and even though there is uncertainty hanging right above them, she feels hopeful. They clean in silence and situate themselves on the couch to wait. They don’t talk, but Seulgi knows that in the end, it’s all up to Seungwan.

Joohyun plays music in an attempt to ease them of their nerves. It’s a gentle, soothing sort of beat, an instrumental, but she ends up switching it off as the hours go by, worry growing. She wants to reach across the couch and take Joohyun’s hand. She doesn’t.

There’s a human sized gap between them and all they can do now is wait.

Because everything starts with Seungwan and everything leads to Seungwan, Seulgi knows that they’d never even dream of pushing her.

The sun is setting when Seungwan finally returns, eyes swollen and throat scratchy. She’s quiet as she enters, tentative steps toward them. She stops in front of them, in front of the couch, timid, and still sniffing. 

It’s Joohyun that moves first, drawing Seungwan in between them, hands grounded and careful. 

“I’m sorry for running out like that,” Seungwan says. She leans, presses against Seulgi’s side. Her left, always her left. And intertwines her fingers with Joohyun’s, resting their hands on her lap. 

“It’s not your fault,” Seulgi replies, reaching up to brush at Seungwan’s messy bangs. 

“Yea,” Joohyun adds, “we’re sorry for keeping this from you.” 

Seungwan sighs at that, her body deflating. She snuggles into Seulgi more, tugging at Joohyun to drape her closer. “I wish you’d have told me something, anything!” She trembles under Seulgi’s touch, beginning to cry. 

She hears a soft sound of protest coming from Joohyun, but Seungwan cuts her off. 

“I just wish I could have helped. All the hurt that I put the both of you throug-“ Her voice cracks, and she takes a deep breath, seemingly steeling herself. “But I understand why you did.”

“I love you,” Seungwan says. 

The emotions that rage in her chest are unspeakable. Relief, happiness and a swirl of other emotions she can’t describe floods her veins. 

“You really love us?” Joohyun sounds hesitant and questioning, drawing back, her doe eyes peering intently. 

Seungwan laughs, a watery giggle. She leans back against the couch, giving her better access to see both their faces. “How could I not?” She smiles, full and adoring and so loving, catching the eyes of both of them, steady. “I love you.”

There’s a blissful sort of look that envelopes Joohyun’s face when Seungwan says it with such conviction. A little vulnerable and happy, an expression that Seulgi’s sure is reflected in her own face as well. 

It’s Seulgi who Seungwan kisses first. Her lips are full, pillowy, and her kiss soft and loving. It speaks of all their unspoken words. Their apologies and their love. Best friends, finally in love. When they break away, foreheads touching, Seulgi opens her eyes first, and it gifts her with the sight of Seungwan, lips lightly parted, cheeks flushed. 

She pulls back, and sees Joohyun, at the side, eyes shiny with unshed tears. When the first tear drops, she reaches over, and brushes it away with a thumb. Her heart swells as Joohyun catches her hand, and presses her lips against her palm. 

Seungwan kisses Joohyun next. It’s reverent, careful and enamoured. One of Joohyun’s hand still clings onto Seulgi, while the other reaches up, fingers curled adoringly against Seungwan’s jaw, cradling. 

When they pull away, Seulgi drapes herself along the back of Seungwan, resting her chin against a shoulder. 

“Shall we go to the room?” Seungwan asks. She splutters when Joohyun raises an eyebrow. “No, no! To talk! To talk!” 

And she looks so adorable, fluffy cheeks aflame as she tries to explain herself, that Seulgi can’t help but press a kiss on her cheek. The action stills her immediately. 

“You’re so cute, Wan-ah.” 

Joohyun leans in, giggling all the way, and gives her a kiss. 

And Seulgi decides that this is her first kiss with Joohyun. It’s not much, just purely feeling, lips against lips, but it feels like the start of something new, something good. 

She pulls back and tilts over to peck a still-blushing Seungwan on the lips, before standing up to walk away. She walks two steps before pausing, turning to look over her shoulder at them. “Let’s go to my room then,” Joohyun says, a failed wink following her attempt to be sultry, prompting laughter from all of them. 

—

The week after Seungwan’s “confrontation”, Seulgi feels like she’s floating on clouds. Her mornings spent counting the tendrils of a dead plant somehow turning into a routine that she somewhat enjoys. 

It’s absolutely disgusting pulling at the painful roots against , clotted blood trickling down her arm into the toilet. 

Joohyun and her, they take turns, hunched over the toilet. But Seungwan is always by their side, the weight of her body grounding them, gentle fingers at their necks pulling their hair back as they cry and retch into the toilet. 

This time it’s Seulgi’s turn. Seungwan sniffles a little, as always, after she’s done, a damp towel ready to wipe her down as Seulgi heaves in lungfuls of air. 

She looks up, sagging against Seungwan, and beams at the reflection of Joohyun - she’s still got her toothbrush in , toothpaste smudged on the corner of , foam sticking. But Seulgi thinks it’s the most beautiful she’s seen her. 

It’s a way better look than blood and flower petals anyway. 

She leans her head against the toilet bowl, the cool porcelain easing her, and lets Seungwan hold her, staring adoringly at the way Seungwan watches Joohyun go about her morning routine.

“Wan-ah,” she whispers, breaking Seungwan away from her staring to look down at her. “I want to turn my petals into bookmarks for us.” 

Seungwan snorts, unrefined, and Seulgi is absolutely besotted. “You artsy people are always so eccentric,” she laughs. It isn’t cruel by any means, especially with the way her eyes soften, fingers trailing up and down her arm. “Don’t you think so, unnie?”

Joohyun hums in reply, patting her face dry before turning around and settling on the ground beside the both of them. “She’s always weird.”

She blindly grasps around till she catches Joohyun’s hand, pulling it into her lap, playing with it as she stays leaning against the toilet. “You love me though,” she teases.

And she doesn’t need to look up to know the way they both look at her, resigned in an amused way. Loving. 

“We do,” they say. “We love you so much.” 

Seulgi coughs, feebly. A hand rubs at her back, another combs through her hair. 

A piece of root falls out, clotted and dead. And Seulgi thinks the last of the hydrangea plant is finally gone. 

—

Joohyun practically skips into the bedroom at night. “Where’s Seungwan,” she asks, noticing the missing girl as she clambers into bed and lies right on top of Seulgi. She props herself up on her elbows, legs fitting themselves between hers. 

“In the shower. So what’s up?”

“Oh!” Joohyun lights up. “Kiss me!”

She eagerly slots her lips along Seulgi’s, pulling and pushing and causing all of Seulgi’s senses to go haywire. 

“Notice anything?”

“Huh?” Her nerves are frazzled, blinking all dazed as she reels back from the blinding kiss. 

“Seulgi,” Joohyun tuts, kissing her once more. “No blood!”

“Oh?”

This time Seulgi initiates their kiss, breaths heavy, tongue flirting out to taste. And she is immensely pleased to find that Joohyun doesn’t smell sickly sweet, doesn’t taste of metal and heartbreak. 

She laughs, a full-blown belly laugh. Happiness is so contagious. Joohyun laughs with her, hair falling to cover her face as they roll around the bed and celebrate.

“Wow!” They hear, turning around to see Seungwan step out of the shower. Her grin is wide, her hair still damp and dripping slightly. “What goes on?”

“You gotta kiss us to find out,” Seulgi teases. Beside her, Joohyun giggles slightly, pressing her face against Seulgi’s neck. 

—

They can’t go out for a date, unfortunately. Too many variables and too high of a risk of getting recognised, getting caught. Their dorm is safe, and it’s home. 

They dance in the dim light of Joohyun’s room, the only music accompanying them is the sweet voice of Seungwan, humming all sweet and careful. Seulgi twirls Joohyun into Seungwan’s arms and they giggle quietly at the way her skirt floats and flutters in the air. 

They collapse in a messy tumble of limbs and floaty laughter onto the bed. She kisses the both of them a little harder than she should, but she simply loves them too much. Joohyun and Seungwan don’t seem to mind at all, pulling her closer, heart beating in sync under the pads of her fingertips. 

This time the love in her heart swells to a full bloom and it’s not painful at all.

---------

sorry I took so Long to finish this fic shfkglg but now it's done!!! I hope it's fluffy enough for you guys in this pandemic, and I hope you enjoy it. It's Super messy and I wrote it in one morning with clearly no check last but I hope it makes sense!! Come talk to me on twitter if u want aha