It was nearly 1 AM when Sungjae's taxi reached Scargo Lake, far too late to knock on doors and ask whether a certain someone rented their place or not.

He then checked into an inn and had a restless sleep. When he woke up at 7 AM, he walked into the small balcony of his room, and realized that the lake was huge. He wouldn't be able to just go and knock on cottage doors, it's not like there were only 10 cottages.

He tried her phone again, and it was still turned off.

He had no other choice. He had to knock on cottage doors.

He showered then called a taxi.

"Please take me to the best area that has cottages with one or two rooms."

When he arrived and saw the area, he felt that Sooyoung would definitely like the place. So he began knocking on doors, showing a picture of her and asking whether she rented the place. There might be around 50 small, pretty cottages.

Some were empty, some had sleepy looking owners who were suspicious as to why he was asking for a girl.

"Have you seen her? She's my girlfriend. We had a horrible fight and she ran away. I have to find her."

After what felt like two hours, he reached the last row of cottages, overlooking the lake directly. There was an idyllic looking cottage with yellow carnation planted in small pots all over the porch.

Sooyoung loved yellow flowers.

That had to be it.

There was an old woman sweeping the porch.

"Good morning" Sungjae greeted. "Sorry to disturb you. But have you seen this woman? Her name is Sooyoung Park."

The old woman looked like an American grandma, straight out from old novels. Her hair was short, curly and white. She had an apron on, and was looking at him with mild interest.

"Why are you asking?" she asked back.

"............she rented the place, didn't she?"

The woman refused to answer, and proceeded to sweep in silence.

"Did she tell you not to say anything if someone asked for her?"

The woman still said nothing.

"Where is she now?"

The lady then began to water the carnations.

Sungjae didn't know what else to say, but at least she found where Sooyoung was staying. He was nearly convinced that Sooyoung rented the place, she was just out at the moment.

"What is she to you?" the lady suddenly asked.

Sungjae was stunned for a moment. He was not used to have strangers asking him personal questions, but the old lady seemed to hold the key to where Sooyoung was, so he answered,

"Everything."

"When I saw her, I thought I've never seen a woman looking so lost before. But now that I see you, you looked as lost as she. She told me not to tell if anyone asked, yet I'm old. I know that running away would never solve anything. Yes, she rented the place. She's not here now, though. She said she wanted to find some breakfast."

"Your taxi driver can drive you to the shopping area. It's not a big town. You'll find her eventually. Just don't stop looking."

"I won't. Thank you so much!" Sungjae said, before running back to his taxi.

******************************************************

There were less than 10 restaurants that offered breakfast in that part of the town. It had to be in one of those, because the old lady said she walked, not using a taxi.

Sungjae entered each restaurant—all were traditional – snug looking restaurants where the owner either cooked or sat at the cashier – and typically as well, he couldn't find her in all restaurants, until the last one.

All he saw was a flash of long black hair and a checkered shirt to make him ran like his life depended on it.

******************************************************

Sooyoung was going to take another spoonful of her soup when her wrist was suddenly held tight by someone.

She looked up and saw Sungjae, who was breathless and looking the most distraught she had ever seen him.

She immediately dropped her spoon, pulled her hand, grabbed her bag, and rushed outside of the restaurant.

"Sooyoung! Wait! Please!" Sungjae yelled in Korean.

She broke into half a run.

But he chased her faster, he was not going to lose her again after looking so hard for her.

"We need to talk!"

"I don't want to talk."

"Park Sooyoung, please."

"Yook Sungjae, let me go."

"No, I can't let you leave my sight again."

"I SAID LET ME GO!!!"

Sungjae took his hands off her, lifting them in surrender.

It was all too surreal.

They were in Dennis Town, the much smaller and quieter place in Massachusetts, out in the freaking USA. It was 9 AM and they were standing together in the sidewalk.

It didn't feel even real. Not even a little bit.

Until she began talking.

"I need some space" she said, and his throat constricted, blocking his breathing.

"Sooyoung—"

"I need some space, away from you."

"How long?"

She looked at the street ahead, it went downhill.

"I don't know. As long as I need."

"One week" Sungjae said. "I'll give you one week, then we need to talk."

"Fine" she replied, before beginning her walk downhill.

"Are you going to stay here?"

She didn't answer, and he followed.

"Park Sooyoung, are you going to stay in this town?"

"Yes. So what if I'll stay here?"

"Then I'll stay here as well."

"Suit yourself."

"Turn on your phone."

She ignored him and resumed walking.

"Please. Can you do just that?"

It's his tone that she couldn't stand. That begging tone. As if he was not the Yook Sungjae she knew.

She was going to lash out at him but when she stopped and turned, he said, "I can stand a lot of things. Except not knowing where you are."

His eyes were teary.

It shocked her to her core.

There was freaking Yook Sungjae right in front of her, the guy she thought she knew for the past nine years, and he was looking far from the usual him. He looked so broken, and his eyes were freaking WET.

As if she broke his heart.

Sooyoung took her phone from her sling bag and turned it on.

She showed the screen at him, before leaving without another word.

Sungjae let her walked away.

He had his hands on his waist as he fought to inhale some air.

It hurt so goddamn much to see her walked away and did nothing.

What he didn't know was that she was wiping her own tears as she walked away.

***************************************************

With her phone finally on, Sungjae set the remote access for it on his own phone. He's going to know when she used it. He could find out where she was with GPS, what she was reading or watching and what she searched in Google. And lots of other things.

It's obviously a breach of privacy, but they were not talking that week, and he had no other way in feeling sure she was at least physically healthy.

Sooyoung created a new application using her phone, to know whether she was being hacked or not. So she knew Sungjae was practically watching how she lived everyday from her phone.

She let him.

He looked too distraught that day for her to cut any means of communications.

He could know where she was, what she was buying and what she read and watched. She was fine with that. She just couldn't handle being physically around him at the moment.

***************************************************

With nothing else to do, Sungjae fished on Scargo Lake eight hours per day, stopping only when it's lunch time, then resuming again until it's sunset.

He caught a lot of fish and sold it to the fishmonger, simply because he couldn't eat them, too lazy to cook it. He never even bothered to count the money given to him by the fishmonger. He'd simply just walk away, went back to his room at the inn and showered, before having dinner.

He then read until his eyes hurt, then fell asleep.

It was lonely without her. They were in the small town but trying their best to not see each other. 

He knew that Sooyoung stayed in the library from breakfast until lunch time. She would then have lunch in one Japanese restaurant – the best bet if she couldn't digest too much salty and greasy food. He knew that she always ate her lunch there, then taking one portion of meal home for dinner.

To her three friends from MIT who were all worried about her, she replied that she was fine, and was in a safe place.

He knew she wasn't fine and that she was lying smoothly through her texts, but then again, he wasn't any better either.

They said Dennis Town was an idyllic little town of America, one where you could find the old ways of cheerfulness and humbleness of the country. For Sungjae, the city was bleak and gloomy. And the less people talked or even looked at him, the more grateful he was.

He just told himself he had to survive hour per hour, despite the constant bleeding in his chest that was starting to feel physically real.

******************************************************

At first, Sooyoung only wanted to find a calm place where she could think peacefully and re-evaluated everything.

The realization that what she was doing with Sungjae was more than just between friends frightened her more than she could fathom.

If they were not that, then what were they?

Why did he not tell her?

What did he feel for her?

Was it love?

Heck, she wasn't even sure she understood what love exactly was.

*****************************************************

Now that she let herself used her phone again, she went to the most basic comfort humanity had.

Google.

She googled "Friends with Benefits" and read the articled Psychology Today posted about it. And ended up freaking out.

She googled "Love Definition". She read the one from Urban Dictionary ten times, then ended up crying in the town's public library.

It said the following:

A feeling that goes beyond almost all sense of  logic. To to feel such a strong feeling for another that you can understand them in a way few can. Their very existence is a gift and rather they are with you or not. The thought of them fills you with a deep hope for both the world and yourself.

Whenever filled with sadness or the thought of this person will make you smile and remind you of why you are who you are. Even a mere look at them and a simple smile says so much and you will find something new each and every time you get that . Everything about them is a treasure and inspires you to be the very best you can be to reach for your dreams and your love drives you to believe in them and yourself because this person showed you that they are real.

You can never stop thinking of them, and about them. They're not going to accept instantly, but you will wait however long is necessary and let them go if it's best for their happiness. You will want them more than anything but even if that want leaves you consumed with pain eventually this person will turn it to a deep happiness because their existence will always lift you up whether they are there or not.

You feel they are always there with you deep in your heart and no matter how things end they will never be very far from you, this feeling will never fades and will always remain with you. A feeling of hope, inspiration, passion, understanding, happiness and beauty that is truly forever.

She even googled "Why people love" and read the article Psychology Today posted about it five times.

She's scared at hell with everything. One of the reasons was because she felt everything she knew was right, was actually wrong. And of course there's another bigger fear.

She walked away in that town as if she was a widow whose husband just died.

She bought some practical clothes in the city's shop and ate at the same restaurant everyday.

She had never felt more confused or afraid in her life before.

**************************************************

On her fifth night in the city, she fell asleep feeling her body was hurting all over.

She woke up in 2 AM with horrible abdominal pain and realized she had her monthly period.

It rarely happened, but sometimes she could have such excruciating period pain, usually because of severe stress. When it happened, she usually stayed in, cancelling all her activities and drank painkiller.

It's hard to not take painkillers, since the pain made her body wet with cold sweat, the pain made her felt as if she was cut to pieces, and she couldn't walk or even sit. Usually she just stayed in