Jiyong and Dara had another misunderstanding lately. The reason behind was her job again. He asked her out one afternoon and he made sure it wasn’t on the night. She did promise that she’ll make it up on him but it seemed like she already forgotten. She did apologize to him for the nth time and somehow, Jiyong didn’t anymore insist what he wanted. Dara felt guilty about it too but she can’t seem to manage her time. She was stressed out.

She left home early so need for her to hurry. She was seated at the back row of the bus when her phone vibrated. She knew it was Jiyong but she didn’t mind to pick it up. Her mood was quite fine and she doesn’t want it to be infected with some negative vibes. She just wanted her trip to school to be fine and quiet.

She leaned her back and tried to close her eyes. The past days weren’t good. Her father talked to her few days ago, asking her to vacate their rotting apartment and transfer to the unit where the old man bought for her. Apparently, she disliked that idea. She’s not going to leave the only memory her mother left to her.

Her phone vibrated again, it was persistent. She pulled it out from her bag.

She heaved a sigh first before pressing the answer button. “Hello …”

“You aren’t picking your phone. What’s wrong?” the voice on the other line was serious.

“I’m sorry, Ji … I’m on the bus right now.”

The other line went silent for a while. She heard him sighed.

“You’re on the bus … okay. Let’s just meet later.” the line was cut already.

She turned her phone off then clutched her head. She was all worn out. All her life, all she ever wanted was to have a normal life, having a family to lean on. If only her mother was still alive, she would’ve not been handling the situation alone. Good thing there’s Jiyong who fully understood her. She owed half of her life to him.

She arrived in school. Only a handful of students were there since it was still early. She headed to the place where Jiyong usually parked his car. From afar, she can see that he was already there, sitting on a nearer concrete bench. His back was facing her. He looked back when he felt her presence. The expression on his face was a way different from what he had shown before. Dara went to him and gave him a kiss on the lips.

She sat beside him. He was quiet. A long silence enveloped them. She trailed her fingers on the bench trying to touch him.

“I’m really sorry, Ji …”

Jiyong’s gape was far. “Do you remember how many times you said that word ‘sorry’?”

She looked on the ground. No words came out of . There was like a lump on it.

“I’m so --”

“Damnit!”

“Ji --”

His eyes went fierce. He was like sleepless. Dark circles were starting to form around his eyes. He stood up and walked towards his car. Dara followed him. She stopped in front of his door like blocking his way. Jiyong paused and just stared at her. His face was stern. Those stares were heavy that Dara can’t seem to look at him straight. He twitched his lips upon seeing her reaction.

“What?” he grimly asked.

She swallowed hard. Her mind went blank. She doesn’t know what to say to him nor how to start. All she knew was that, she’s in front of Jiyong, suppressing herself not to cry.

Jiyong clutched his head. Seeing her like that made him weak but he needed to fight his feelings. He heaved another sigh.

“Ji … let’s talk.”

“Talk about what? Oh, come one. Tell me … would you rather spend your time with me over your job?”

“You just don’t understand.” She was biting her lower lip.

He faced her. “What was that that I didn’t understand?” he smiled bitterly. “All this time --- and you’re telling me I don’t understand? What the--”

“That’s not what I meant.”

There was another silence. Dara cupped her face. Tears were starting to form in the corner of her eyes. She turned her head away from him. Her chest went heavy and it was like suffocating her. She felt lifeless by hearing those words from him. Yes, he was right. She’s not giving him attention lately.

“Do you know how I feel at night when you are still there, working? I can’t sleep thinking of you if you’re okay or if you reached home safely. Do you have any idea how that felt? Now tell me – what’s wrong with convincing you to quit your job? Do you even care? Oh Well, I don’t understand you coz I’m an idiot.”

The tears that she was suppressing awhile ago, started to roll down her cheeks. She wiped it with her bare hands.

“Do you really love me?” he asked facing her.

“What kind of question is that?” Her voice was shaking.

“Just answer me.” he quipped.

“Yes .. with all my heart and soul.”

Jiyong chuckled bitterly. “Yes you’re right, you do LOVE me. And I love you too.” his tone was like mocking.

“Let’s not argue about it again, Ji. I’m exhausted right now.” she pleaded with tears.

His face went serious. There was something in his eyes that she can’t explain. There was something hidden on it. “You’re exhausted because of work, right? And I’m sure you’ll just ignore me AGAIN if I’m going to ask you out. For Pete’s sake, I’m your boyfriend, Dara. Can you please consider my feelings too?”

“I know and I haven’t forgotten that even a single second.”

“ReallY? Wow … that’s --- great. How come I can’t feel it?”

She went silent. She can’t blame him for what he just said.

“Why don’t you just live a normal life just like others?”

“I can’t coz I’m different from others.”

“You’re smart! Why don’t you use your brain to handle the situation? Live a normal life, Dara. What you’re doing is suicide. You’re slowly killing yourself with that nonsense bulls! Your mother is gone and there’s no freaking way to get her back. You have to move on. Why can’t you leave your rotting apartment and transfer to the unit that your father bought you?!”

“It’s not that simple.”

“It is simple! You’re just torturing yourself. Do you even remember when was the last time that we had a date?”

She shook her head.

“See? You’re not even aware of it. I’m trying my very best here to understand you. But what are you doing? For once, you never considered how I feel.”

“That’s not true!”

“It’s the truth! You’re working your off to earn what? money?. ! Use the car … spend the money your father is giving you. You’re his daughter and you have the right!”

“Ji please … let’s not talk about this.”

“Let’s not talk about this.” he snorted. “I’m sorry but I’m sick and tired of this, Dara.”

“What do you mean?” she said in between sobs.

He took a deep heavy breath. “Let’s cool off things between us.”

“… are you breaking up with me?”

“I guess that’s the best we should do for now.”

It was like her world stopped from turning. She didn’t see it coming. Breaking up didn’t play her mind.

“Oh no … don’t do this Ji. I need you and I love you. I love you Jiyong!” Tears were falling freely down her face.

“I guess its better that way. You don’t have to think of me anymore and I WONT expect anything from you … it seemed that you have your priorities in life and I’m not part of it.” he said with a heavy heart. He doesn’t want to be apart from her too but he needed to move on and live the way he should be. His eyes started to cloud too.

“Please, Ji … don’t do this to me. Don’t leave me. You’re the only one left to me. I have no one in life.”

“I don’t know. I may not be thinking right these days but I should do this.”

“Jiyong please. Listen to me … I--”

Jiyong can’t hold himself anymore. He wanted to scream. He wanted to hug her. He wanted to comfort her but he stopped himself. Instead, he took his key and walked towards the driver’s seat.

“Jiyong please … don’t leave me!”

Jiyong seemed to hear nothing. He stepped on the engine and drove away from the school premise. Dara was left on her spot with tears. Her breathing went heavy and she can’t control herself. It was like her chest was being squeezed until its very last drop. She was sobbing and crying hard. Good thing she’s at the rear part of the school ground, very few students were coming that way. She sat on the ground and let her emotion flow.