I'm sorry.

I know you think I betrayed you. I know you feel like I walked out. I know that whatever I say now, whatever reason I give, I no longer deserve your two cents.

I don't blame you. You have every right to despise me after what I did to you.

I don't have special mind reading abilities, so I can't really tell if someone sees a potential future with me.

But the way you laughed at my silly jokes, the amount of focus you put on me during our phone calls—either on your way to work, during lunch, or after a stressful meeting with a client—and the endless invitations to grab coffee or just to take a walk to talk more, I know that you think of me as someone special.

You might have told me that during one of our late night conversations. It must have been just a slip of the tongue or you really meant to say it. Either way, it made my heart skip a beat.

So, really, just go ahead and curse me. You don't deserve my elusive, ghosting quality. You deserve better than that.

You don't need to forgive me now, but I need you to know that I never stopped thinking about you. I only stepped out to get some air, but I did not give up on us. I will never give up on us.

It just happens that I'm a coward who cannot handle situations fittingly.

Yes, I did have a bit of a situation. And, no, I didn't get back with my ex. I'm not with someone new, either. At least, not yet. It's not even because we rarely see each other due to our varying schedules.

But it's because my best friend confessed to me. And this is the part where I want you to listen carefully.

My best friend, whom I've known since forever, just told me that she likes me. Well, we say that to each other all the time. The only difference is that she now has feelings for me.

The day when I finally had a free time and accepted your invitation to see each other and maybe grab some coffee, my best friend came to talk to me.

She just entered my room without knocking. She always does that and I'm already used to it. I was busy checking my closet to see which outfit would best suit the weather outside.

"Minjoo," she called out.

"Yes?" I replied, still staring at some clothes. I didn't bother checking who it was since I knew it was her.

"Can we talk?"

I just spotted a coat that I haven't worn in a long time and I was about to pick it up when my hand froze. My best friend never demands a conversation unless she really wanted to talk.

I turned around, completely forgetting about the coat, and walked to where my best friend was.

"What happened?" I asked, slightly worried.

"Nothing. It's just that..." She wavered.

I sat beside her on the bed. She moved her position, so we ended up facing each other. I adjusted my position, as well, and mirrored the way she crossed her legs.

"What is it?" I said with encouragement.

She just looked at me, so my brows furrowed in confusion.

"Chaewon, is there a problem? You know you can always talk to me, right?"

"Right, right. I know."

"Then, what is it? Tell me," I said, placing a comforting hand on her thigh.

She flinched, and that was when I knew that something really was wrong. My eyes widened in surprise.

"I—I can't do this," she announced, avoiding my eyes.

"What can you not do?" I demanded. I was starting to feel annoyed. I remembered that I still had to go change for our date and I didn't want to be late.

With a deep breath, she looked back at me. "Tell you that I like you."

Her stare was so intense. I've never seen her this serious before. Slowly, my lips curved, and then I found myself laughing. 

"Stop laughing!"

It took me a while to calm down. "I'm sorry."

"So, that's it? That was your response?" she asked with a frustrated sigh, and I could tell how upset she was.

This confused me, so I asked, "You haven't even told me anything yet."

She looked at me like I have gone crazy. "I just told you that I like you. What else is not clicking?"

"We say that to each other all the time and—oh," my brain suddenly started suggesting all sorts of possibilities.

She likes me? She likes me? She likes me? Like, like, like? Actually, it was just the same thought repeating over and over again in my head. My best friend likes me!

"Yes, . I like you."

I went into a coma. Like, really, my brain just stopped working, and I just stared at my best friend without really seeing her.

My best friend just confessed to me and the timing couldn't have been worse. Years of considering her as my sister from another mother has come to a screeching halt.

I felt confused, angry, betrayed, but mostly confused. Why was she telling this