I never thought I would confessed to her. But the opportunity I was dying to have for years to confess finally came in the most unexpectable situation. We were having a reunion that night like we always did every time our schedules matched. We have had a fun conversation,  bickering with each other like we always did every time we met since we were children. One topic to another, one issues to the others, until someone mentioned about my graduation from Air Force Academy and me still keeping my Fiancé Ring with me.

I was not sure where the bravery came from but with her sitting in front of me, so beautiful and gentle, I found myself revealing all the feeling I have hide for so long in front of our best buddies. Our childhood friends. It surprised me how I did it casually, even wrapped it with a joke everyone laughed thinking I was drunk. But I was darn serious with everything I’ve said. It didn’t matter if she trusted me or nor for it wasn’t going to make any difference to me anymore. I was just tired to hide it and thought if I didn’t confessed now I would never did forever.

I saw her laughed with everyone else on the table. I thought she was just being the clueless her like she always did all this time. But later that night she surprised me with a call saying “I wished you did what you did on the restaurant tonight six years ago”. Ahhh….there were so much I wanted to say to her. So much. But the response I choose to give her was “I know my confession was long overdue it won’t bring you to me as a lover anymore considering our current situation, but I wanted to show you that I care for once. That you were once means the world to me. And as for me, I hope it would help in moving on with my life. That I too, will have someone to love one day”.

We talked on the phone for hours until the morning broke. That was the longest conversation we’ve had in our entire friendship. She said my confession giving her a confirmation for all her questions and confusion from the way I treated her all these time. She said she was sorry for being too dense she didn’t understand my feelings. She also said she was sorry for the misunderstanding about the “pink shirt” she gifted me on my birthday. I told her there was nothing to be sorry about. I was at fault myself. I was too coward to make a move and I had so much hesitation in me to fight for her. And about the pink shirt I said, I couold have just dragged her to my room to see that the shirt was there safely hanging in my room and my brother wearing a different pink shirt. All in all I said, everything that happened between us were proofs that she and I, were destined to be just dear friends.

Before we ended our conversation, I told her “You might find this odd to hear something like this from me but you’re always the cutest, most kind and prettiest girl you deserve the best man by your side. The one would willingly travel to the moon and back to make you smile and someone would cross against the odds and fight for your honour and pride. I wish you all the best in life and I hope you can wish for me the same”.

We have never had a private conversation like that again after that. Though we still hung out with the other guys, fight and bickering each other just like we always did since we were children.

She was then dated and married one of my best friends. Our best friends. It wasn’t a surprise for I know that the man was in love her since forever. If it wasn’t because me, because of our friendship, because he found out I was loving the same girl, there was no way he would giving up on her. He choose our friendship over his own happiness and I respected him for that. But it also burdened me. It never easy to know you are the main cause of other people unhappiness.

So I stopped being a coward and made up my mind. I said if I was given a chance to win her for once, I would jumped to the opportunity without hesitation. I only have two choices. Either me fighting till the end or let go off her for good. I didn’t want to live my life in regret. Forever asking myself “What if…..”. 

When the opportunity came, I was running to her like there was no tomorrow. I found her. But I was a few minutes late. My best friend came to her first, body all wet with sweat and ran off air in front of her. His face was all red but he was smiling from ear to ear knowing his sacrifices were all worth it. Just like me, he was running when he found out the opportunity was opened to be with her. He dropped away all his chances to win 100 Million prize money just to find her with zero hesitation.

Yes, I was running too. But I was taking quite sometimes contemplating myself before I finally jumped into an action. That opened my eyes that he deserved to be with her because he wanted her more than I did. That was why the whole universe helping him get her. The old saying “If it’s meant to be, it meant to be” was true after all. My first love meant to be with my best friend and my first love meant to be only a dear friend for me. It was a difficult fact to be faced for she was my first love and I have loved her for so long. But that was my destiny. And I would live my destiny without any regrets.

I have no regrets in loving her either. Although she was not born to be mine. She was the prettiest, most kind and loving person I knew. In a strange way, I was happy to know that she was happy.

I would be happy too I'm sure. Just my happiness came a little late compares to others in the group. But my turn to be happy would come eventually. All I needed to do was opening my heart wider for someone new to knock. I would wait for that day to come. And when the day finally came, I knew I would be the happiest man alive.