the next page of adulthood
love him for the last time (then let go)
“Congratulations.” She merrily greeted the couple and smiled, a bright, stretchy smile.
(Her heart can’t do the same, though).
“Thanks, Jihyo,” his response was casual. Her heart ached when his lips cracked the shiniest smile she has seen from him in all the years they have been together. It’s unfair. Jihyo turned to the woman beside him and repeated her congratulatory greeting. She had a beautiful face and possessed a strong mesmerising aura, and in her white dress she looked stunning and breathtaking. Of course, Namjoon would fall in love with her. Jihyo almost feels bad for herself.
Her gaze fell on Namjoon’s left hand, a ring in his special finger and in that bitter sweet moment, a smile morphs in her face, genuinely this time, and picked up her gaze back to his eyes.
“You two make a good couple. I’m happy for you.” She is.
Namjoon stretched his arm to her, patting her head. His height easily towers over her, tall and unreachable.
“You’ve grown a lot, kid. Thank you.”
A big smile on his lips. His face shines the brightest tonight.
Jihyo wanders outside the wedding after-party with a can of beer in her hand, sat on a bench at the back garden looking at the night sky. It’s always been like this, especially for Namjoon. Only sorrow came from loving him, she has gotten used to it and didn’t mind but tonight was the greatest despair she has ever felt.
A voice interrupts her emotional breakdown. “You’ve grown, kid.”
Her eyebrows automatically furrows upon recognising him, her hand had almost dented the can of beer. Min Yoongi, one of the few children who was fond of teasing her during childhood, goes over to her. Despite being a year older than Namjoon, he never grew out of that childish and immature demeanour he always showcased towards her whenever he returned to their small hometown.
“Wow, I didn’t think your lazy would travel from Seoul to be here,” Jihyo said rather flatly. She turned to see him laugh in amusement, leaning on the bench’s backrest. He stopped dyeing his hair, she noticed.
“Of course I’d be here for Namjoon’s wedding, I am his best man after all. I didn’t think you would be here,” he fired back.
Jihyo puffed her cheeks. It’s not a good time for teasing.
“Hey, you still love him?” he looked at her, a second pass, and she nods. He smirked at the naivety of it, simultaneously admiring it. The night fell deeper and the party grew merrier. Jihyo finished her beer and Yoongi sat on the opposite end of the bench with the can in between the two. He lights a cigarette which she disapproves of with a disgusted look. He knew she hated the smell of it but that wasn’t enough to stop him from satisfying his nicotine craving.
“It’s amazing you managed to say congratulations to their faces with a smile. That was so cringeworthy to witness, how brave of you, Park Jihyo. I came here thinking you’d go full maniac and say 'I OBJECT!' while running through the aisle with mascara bleeding down your eyes.”
Jihyo dead pans to him, annoyed. “Is that what you came here for?”
He laughed a yes. It’s quite annoying, but just as the case with Namjoon constantly breaking her heart, she has gotten too used to the unserious side of Yoongi. There was a time Jihyo inwardly admitted it was nice that Yoongi was the complete opposite of the serious and focused Namjoon but she can’t afford to let the man know there’s something about him that she’s fond of. The teasing would only increase.
“I’m sure everyone expected the same.” he said, as-a-matter-of-factly.
“Well, can’t blame you. I did love him for eleven years, unrequited at that. It really hurts, it feels like my heart is gonna tear apart and combust into flames and I know it’s terrible of me to wish this wasn’t real but,” a pause,
“he’s happy.”
And that's all it takes to break her.
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