Eunji has been staying with Bomi for a little over a week, and every day is torture. It’s not like when she was five, and her dog ran away. It’s not like when she was sixteen, and her best friend suddenly hated her for being gay. It’s not like when she was twenty, and she left behind the only place she’d known as home for a questionable career. It’s all of those things, and much, much more.

That night, Chorong had only let Eunji stay in their apartment long enough to gather her things before unceremoniously locking her out. Eunji could have let herself back in with her key, but what good would that have done?

Remembering Bomi’s face when she opened the door and saw Eunji standing there with almost half of her belongings with red, puffy eyes, Eunji can’t help but feel embarrassed and ashamed. However, Bomi’s always been a good friend and let her in without question. After tea and a lot more crying, Eunji explained everything to Bomi, from the almost kiss with Naeun to her fake relationship with Naeun to the eventual disaster with Chorong.

“Oh, you idiot,” Bomi had sighed as she pulled Eunji into a hug.

Now, Eunji is holed up in Bomi’s apartment as she sulks and edits old photos. She doesn’t leave, and she certainly doesn’t talk to anyone but Bomi. Her phone has dozens upon dozens of notifications from her company, Namjoo, Naeun, and Hayoung. There’s nothing from Chorong. It isn’t a surprise, but it hurts all the same.

It’s two weeks after everything when Bomi comes home one day and stands with her hands on her hips in front of Eunji, who’s curled up on the couch with her laptop.

“Okay, I’ve had enough,” Bomi says sternly. “I get it. You’re going through a lot of awful right now, but if I have to leave this apartment one more day, only to come back and see you in the exact same spot, I will lose my mind.”

“I move,” Eunji argues. She does move, like to grab a bag of chips or to use the restroom.

Bomi glares at her, but there’s a pitying softness to it that irritates Eunji. Then, Bomi sighs and plops down beside her. She wraps an arm around her shoulders, and Eunji willingly lays her head against her.

“Listen, I’m not saying you have to go out and do a shoot,” Bomi says. “You don’t have to talk to the twenty people you’re ignoring right now. I’m not asking for a miracle here. I’m just asking for you to stop beating yourself up. To forgive yourself.”

Eunji burrows more into Bomi’s warmth and murmurs, “How can I? Everything is–”

“If you finish that with ‘my fault’, I will kick you out,” Bomi says not unkindly. “Eunji, we’ve been over this a dozen times. The almost kiss, yes, was your fault, but you apologized for it, Chorong forgave you for it, and nothing like that happened again. The fake dating, yes, was your decision, but you were completely faithful to Chorong the entire time, weren’t you? You just spent time with Naeun, no kissing and not the disgusting, deep love you have for Chorong, right?” Bomi sighs. “Listen, I’m not saying your faultless, but this isn’t all on you.”
 

Eunji doesn’t say anything for a long moment, trying to hold back the tears that threaten to fall at any second. Eventually, she says in a broken voice, “I love Chorong.”

“I know you do,” Bomi tells her, hugging her tighter.

“I liked Naeun,” Eunji adds then takes a shuddering breath. She shakes her head but forces herself to continue, “When we were on one of fake dates, I thought to myself, in another life, I could love her. She would be my Chorong.” Eunji finally cries as she says, “But I have Chorong already. I don’t want to lose her, Bomi.”

“You won’t,” Bomi reassures her, but it feels like an empty promise. “Give her time. You both need to heal.”

“And if we don’t?”

For once, Bomi hesitates. Then she says, “You will.”

-

It’s just a few days later that the doorbell rings during dinner. Eunji and Bomi share a confused look, neither of them expecting anyone, but Eunji gets up nonetheless to answer it. When she opens the front door, the last person she’s expecting to be standing on the other side is Naeun.

Eunji’s breath leaves her lungs in a woosh, but it’s not like before where she felt warm with a nervous thrum in her chest. This time it feels cold and emptying.

Naeun is standing there, dressed as casually as Eunji’s ever seen her. In leggings and a hoodie, Naeun almost looks like any other woman you’d pass on the street. Almost. She’s still heart-achingly beautiful in a way that pains Eunji even more now.

“What are you doing here?” Eunji asks flatly. She tries to ignore the hurricane of emotions that threaten to overtake her. She tries not to cry again at the mere sight of her. This kind woman who’s somehow ruined Eunji’s life without even meaning to. Naeun doesn’t deserve her anger, but part of Eunji feels it nonetheless.

“You haven’t been answering,” Naeun says, voice low and nervous. “I- I stopped by your apartment and–”

“You what?” Eunji snaps. It takes all of her strength not to lunge at Naeun. She settles for gripping the door as tight as she can, trying not to think about how Naeun has seen Chorong more than she has now lately. That’s a cruel kind of irony. “Why would you do that?”

Naeun suddenly looks all the more nervous. Her face is pale, and her eyes are wide. “I was looking for you,” Naeun explains. “You weren’t answering your phone, and it happened so suddenly. It was right after the tabloids released that picture of us, and I wanted to check on you. When Chorong opened the door…”

“I wonder what it must’ve looked like to her,” Eunji says, cutting her off with a hollow laugh, “to have you show up on her doorstep looking for me.” She shakes her head, and the tears come despite all her effort. Eunji looks at Naeun with tears in her eyes and says, “The love of my life hates me for the kindness I’ve shown you, and yet I can’t bring myself to truly regret what I’ve done. What kind of person does that make me?”

Naeun says nothing, but she now looks stricken, like Eunji’s slapped her.

“I can’t do this right now,” Eunji tells her. “I can’t deal with your guilt on top of mine. I can’t do anything right now.”

Naeun presses her lips together into a thin line, and she looks pretty even then. It makes Eunji tremble ever so slightly. She grips the door tighter.

“I’m sorry,” is all Naeun says, and then she’s gone.

Eunji stares at the empty hall until Bomi comes and gently pries her away from the door.

-

The next morning Eunji wakes up to Bomi shoving her phone in her face. On the screen is an article. It’s about Naeun. No, it’s about Eunji and Naeun. Naeun explains the two of them have broken up because Eunji loves another, and Eunji can practically see Namjoo running around trying to do damage control on this.

After Bomi leaves her to go make breakfast, Eunji taps out a message to Naeun.

Why?

The reply comes immediately. I’ve done nothing but cause you pain. The least I can do is set you free.

Eunji isn’t able to eat anything all morning.

-

“Thank you for coming.”

Naeun sits down across from Eunji in the very same cafe that they started their fake relationship with each other. It’s almost been a month since Eunji moved in with Bomi. During that time, Eunji has finally found it in herself to leave the apartment. She takes small jobs, which drives her company insane, because since her break-up with Naeun, everyone wants her for some reason.

Eunji knows that also during this time Naeun has been working hard in changing her image. She is more open in interviews. She works hard in expressing herself better. She spends all of her time that isn’t for photoshoots at different shelters. She’s especially grown fond of Hayoung’s animal shelter, and Hayoung confessed to Eunji during their last lunch together that she’s thinking about asking Naeun to dinner some time. Eunji had smiled and wished her the best of luck.

After falling into something of a bastardization of her normal routine, Eunji had reached out to Naeun and asked to meet with her. She wasn’t surprised when Naeun had agreed immediately.

Eunji waits until Naeun gets her coffee to say, “I’m sorry for the way I treated you the last time we saw each other.”

“It’s okay,” Naeun replies simply as she takes a sip of her coffee. She looks at Eunji with an unnerving amount of understanding. “You’re going through a lot, and I wasn’t much help there.”

“Still,” Eunji argues, “you just wanted to help.”

“So did you,” Naeun points out, reminding Eunji of how they have ended up here in the first place. As if sensing Eunji’s turmoil, Naeun offers a calming smile and says, “For what it’s worth, thank you for everything you’ve done for me.” Her smile softens as she adds, “You’ve helped me grow as a person.”

Eunji shifts in her seat, unsure of what to say. She settles for an awkward smile of her own as she replies, “You were already a good person. You just needed a little push.” They share a smile, then Eunji changes the subject by saying curiously, “I hear you and Hayoung are close nowadays.”

To Eunji’s complete and utter amusement, Naeun’s face flushes a delicate shade of red from the tips of her ears and down her neck. She notes absently that Naeun never looked that way about her. Naeun, in the beginning, looked kind of awed and always so affectionate. Now, about Hayoung, Naeun looks happy and smitten. It’s a good look on her.

“Are congratulations in order?” Eunji can’t help but tease.

Naeun reaches across the table to swat her as she says sharply, “No!”

“But soon?” Eunji continues with a wide grin.

This makes Naeun hesitate as a shy smile makes its way across her face. She pauses for a moment before admitting quietly, “Maybe.”

“I wish the two of the best then,” Eunji nods. She reaches out and gives Naeun’s hand a warm squeeze. “Despite everything, I still consider you a friend and wish the best for you.”

Naeun tilts her head and smiles. She squeezes Eunji’s hand back and says, “You too. Let me know if you ever need anything.”

“You too.”

-

A week later, Eunji runs into Chorong by pure coincidence. Well, maybe not, since she runs into her outside their favorite grocery store. It feels very serendipitous though, the way they literally bump into each other and catch each other’s gaze.

“Hey,” Eunji says, more than a little breathless, as she keeps her hands on Chorong’s arms from when she grabbed them to steady herself. Then, because she’s an idiot, Eunji says, “Fancy meeting you here.”

The corners of Chorong’s lips curl upwards ever so slightly, and Eunji feels like she’s on top of the world at that moment.

“You know I like the vegetables here best,” Chorong says, soft and warm, and her voice is like home.

“I do,” Eunji nods. She her lips then says before she can lose her nerve, “We should get coffee some time.”

Chorong stares at her for a long moment, and Eunji has to fight the urge to squirm. Maybe that was a really dumb thing to say, given everything that’s happened, but what else can she say on a sidewalk outside a grocery store? Please say you still love me? Please take me back? I miss you? It all feels like too much for such a simple meeting.

Just as Eunji begins to lose hope, Chorong gives a small smile. It’s not her bright and toothy one that makes Eunji smile widely in return, but it’s something.

“We should,” Chorong says. “I’ll text you about it.”

Even if it’s not the toothy smile Chorong gives her, Eunji can’t help but smile as she says, “Okay. I look forward to it.”

Chorong nods and leaves, and as she walks away, Eunji wonders for a moment if she’s just dreamed this all.

-

Bomi is editing her next video when Eunji comes home from the grocery store without any groceries. She immediately goes to scold her when she actually gets a good look at her. Although not openly sulking and moping anymore, Eunji is still not back to her old self. She’s less cheerful, more prone to brooding. She doesn’t smile much at all.

However, the Eunji who’s just walked through the door is all smiles. She’s practically skipping as she makes her way over to the couch where Bomi’s sitting. “You’ll never guess what happened,” Eunji says as she sits down next to her.

“What happened?” Bomi asks.

Eunji’s face looks like it’s about to split in half from the force of her smile as she practically shouts, “I ran into Chorong at the store! She said we can have coffee together.”

“Really?” Bomi yells back. She quickly sets her laptop aside and practically tackles her friend with a hug. “Really?” Bomi repeats as she pulls back.

“Really,” Eunji nods excitedly. Then, in an instant, Eunji’s smile is gone. Broody Eunji is back as she murmurs, “Wait, what if it’s to break up with me for good? What if it’s just as friends?”

Bomi feels like she’s just experienced the harshest form of whiplash known to mankind. She blinks several times, trying to process the sudden leap Eunji’s mind took. “Did she say anything like that?” Bomi asks.

“No,” Eunji says, “but all that really happened was I said we should have coffee and she said we should and that she’d text me about it.”

“Well, that doesn’t necessarily scream ‘it’s over,’ does it?” Bomi reasons.

Eunji is still deflated as she replies, “It doesn’t necessarily scream ‘I’ll take you back’ either.”

“Then I guess we’ll just have to change that, won’t we?” Bomi says. She watches Eunji glance at her from the corner of her eye. “If this is your last chance, theoretically,” Bomi continues, “then we have to make it count, right?”

Eunji is frowning, but it’s her thinking frown, not her sulking frown. “Like what?” Eunji asks.

Bomi shrugs and says, “I don’t know. She’s your girlfriend. What’s something that you could do to really prove you love her?”

There’s a long silence that almost worries Bomi, but then Eunji turns to her with bright eyes and a look of hope that Bomi hasn’t seen for a long time. “I have an idea,” Eunji tells her.

-

Eunji calls Chorong the day before they’ve agreed to meet. Taking a deep breath, Eunji blurts out as soon as Chorong’s picked up, “Can we meet somewhere other than a coffee shop?”

There’s a slight pause, and Eunji can practically see Chorong’s baffled expression. “Like where?”

“I’ll text you the address,” Eunji replies then bites her lips, fingers crossed.

“What are you up to?”

Eunji imagines Chorong’s eyebrows furrowed and her lips pursed, trying to puzzle out why she’s being evasive. It hurts, but less than before.

“Just trust me, okay?” Eunji asks, knowing exactly how much of a loaded question is for them.

After almost a minute of silence, Eunji practically falls over in relief when she hears Chorong say in her quietest voice, “Okay.”

-

Eunji is shaking, and it has nothing to do with the cooler weather. She’s dressed in her nicest pair of jeans with a button-down, but Eunji knows she could be wearing her pajamas or a suit and be feeling the same way she does now. Unprepared and all too hopeful.

It’s five minutes to four o’clock, and knowing Chorong, always punctual, she’ll be showing up any second. And she does. Just the sight of her nearly brings Eunji to her knees. She’s dressed in a skirt and a thin sweater. It’s an outfit that Eunji’s seen her wear several times before, but something about seeing her in itnow is almost devastating.

As Chorong walks up to her, Eunji holds out a trembling hand and murmurs, “Hi.”

“Hi,” Chorong replies with a slight smile. She takes Eunji’s hand, and the familiar warmth in hers is almost a shock to the system after so long. Chorong glances at the building and asks, “Where are we? Why did you want to meet here?”

“Because,” Eunji says, and her voice wavers as a wave of emotions hits her. This is her last chance. “Because I wanted to show you how much I love you.”

-

It’s a gallery of photographs. No, it’s a gallery of photographs of Chorong. Each photograph painstakingly chosen to show Eunji’s relationship with Chorong over the years.

The first few are from afar, back before Eunji even noticed her. Chorong is on the edges of the photos, still somewhat relevant and recognizable but not the main point. However, Chorong slowly starts gravitating towards the center of the photos until she is the main focus. There is one particularly breathtaking shot of her standing by the river in the setting sun, the golden sunlight hitting her features just so.

“Little did I know that the beautiful woman in the background of my photos would one day be the love of my life,” Eunji tells her as she guides her down towards another set of photos.

It takes Chorong a moment, but she quickly recognizes them by the ugly couch in some of the shots. These are all taken in Eunji’s old apartment, before they moved in together. These don’t hold the same professional or ethereal quality that some of the last ones did, but they do hold a warm kind of comfort in them. They’re everyday moments in the beginning of their relationship. There’s one of Chorong fast asleep on the ugly couch, one of Chorong cooking something in the kitchen with a smudge of flour on her face, one of Chorong in bed with the sheets covering just so. Chorong is smiling in every single one of them.

“You kept all of these?” Chorong can’t help but ask. These past few weeks, she’s tried to hold onto her anger, but all it’s done is make her so tired. She’s missed Eunji like she misses a piece of herself, and seeing all of this makes Chorong’s head spin. “These are just…”

“They’re everything,” Eunji finishes with a solemn look. “They’re everything,” she repeats, and her grip on Chorong’s hand tightens ever so slightly. It sounds a lot like you’re everything. Chorong feels like crying, but Eunji just pulls her over down the fall to another set of photographs.

These photos are from when they’d been together for little over a year. Chorong is able to pinpoint the exact time because she remembers the day so vividly. Eunji had woken up one morning and insisted they drive down to Busan. It hadn’t been the first time Eunji wanted to spontaneously go somewhere, and Chorong was off that weekend, so she indulged her girlfriend in the trip. Little had Chorong known that Eunji was taking her home. Sure, Chorong had met her family before, but this time had been different. It wasn’t just her family they were visiting; it was everything Eunji was before they met. Eunji took her all over her childhood town, from her favorite park as a child to an alcove on the beach that she hid in as a teenager to the market she always ate at even as an adult. Eunji had photographed Chorong in every little piece of her past, telling her that she wanted Chorong to know all of her, to be a part of everything she was and will be. It was this day that Chorong had known she was truly and deeply in love with Eunji.

“I still do, you know,” Eunji says to her as Chorong stares at all the memories in front of her. She waits until Chorong looks at her to finish her thought, “I still want you to be a part of every part of me, everything I was and everything I will be.”

Hearing Eunji repeat those exact words to her, Chorong crumbles. She hugs Eunji to her, so tightly like she can make sure they can never be apart again if she tries hard enough. It’s been so hard lately, and she knows she only has herself to blame for getting angry and acting so rashly, but it’s such a relief to have Eunji in front of her now. Chorong feels safe in knowing that maybe Eunji is just as far gone for her as she is for her.

“I’m sorry,” Chorong says to her, tears falling as she does. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry,” Chorong repeats this like it’s the only prayer that can absolve her from her sins.

Eunji simply presses a kiss to her forehead and holds her hand. “Come on,” Eunji says as she uses her free hand to wipe away Chorong’s tears. “There’s still a little more I want you to see.”

Chorong freezes as soon as she sees the next set of photographs. She recognizes them immediately. They are from that morning, just a few days Eunji got her photoshoot with Naeun. Eunji had dragged her out to the river, taking pictures of everything, including her. When they first started dating, Chorong vaguely recalled Eunji saying she was Eunji’s favorite thing to take a picture of. At the time, she thought it was just flattery, but seeing these photographs now, Chorong wonders.

There’s not much to say about these, so Eunji just kisses her cheek and leads her to the last wall. There’s a single photograph, and Chorong doesn’t understand at first. It was a picture of an old woman and a small child feeding some pigeons. It was a nice photograph, a heart-warming sight, but after everything else, Chorong didn’t understand.

Sensing Chorong’s confusion, Eunji smiles and points to a shape in the background. She explains, “This is the first picture I ever took of you.”

It is Chorong, if you squint really hard.

“How did you find this?” Chorong asks, bewildered.

“I’d know that pretty face anywhere,” Eunji replies with that charming smile of hers. She reaches out and holds Chorong’s other hand, pulling her closer. “I like knowing you, every piece of you. I think I’m very lucky to have the privilege of knowing the way I do. You make me happy, you know that? I’m sure if you ask Bomi she’ll tell you how much of a mess I am without you. However, I don’t want you to be with me because of that. Don’t accept me because it’s what I need. I want you to be happy, Chorong, and all I can hope is that I'm a part of that happiness. I want to be. I want to take pictures of you, until we’re both old and wrinkly. I want to photograph every happy moment we have together, and maybe even the less happy ones too.”

Chorong can’t help the small gasp that leaves her when Eunji drops to one knee, pulling out the same ring box that Chorong had all but thrown at her all those weeks ago.

“Let me make you happy,” Eunji says, earnest like a puppy but with wisened eyes from everything that’s happened between them. “Will you marry me, Chorong?”

Chorong doesn’t even have to think as she says, “Yes.”

-

“Don’t look so nervous,” Eunji says with a small laugh.

“I’m not nervous!” Chorong denies strongly, but her pinched expression says otherwise.

It’s been three months since Eunji proposed. It’s been three months since Eunji moved back in. It’s been three months of happiness.

Eunji wraps her arm around Chorong’s shoulder and teases, “I promise Naeun doesn’t bite, and Hayoung already loves you.”

“I hated her though,” Chorong tells her, voice small and worried. “I hated her for so long, but she didn’t deserve any of it.” She looks at Eunji and says, “She just needed help.”

Over the last few months, Eunji and Chorong have talked. A lot. They know if they are going to get married, they need to clearly discuss everything that led up to their fight, to make sure it never happens again. That involved a lot of talking about Naeun, and after a lot of yelling and tears, Chorong has some understanding of the place Naeun had been in when Eunji helped her.

“It’s okay,” Eunji reassures her. She kisses her for good measure. “We’ve all made our peace with everything that happened.”

“Yes.”

Eunji grins toothily and adds, “Besides, if we’re inviting them to the wedding, I feel like we’re obligated to at least one double date beforehand.”

“Ugh, two more people,” Chorong sighs. “You know too many people. Our wedding is going to be huge.”

“You love me.”

Chorong sighs again but she’s smiling as she says, “I love you.”

The two of them walk into what is quickly becoming their regular cafe, thanks to its central location and discretion from its employees.

Eunji spots Naeun and Hayoung tucked away in the corner, faces close as they whisper to each other. She can’t help but smile as she tugs Chorong over, calling out to them. The couple look up and smile widely in return. Naeun and Hayoung have only been official for about a month, and they still have that honeymoon phase glow about them, but they seem just as happy as Eunji feels and that means everything.

“Did you order yet?” Eunji asks as she sits across from Hayoung, forcing Chorong to sit across from Naeun.

“Nope,” Hayoung. “We were waiting for you.”

“Great, let’s order some pie!” Eunji says excitedly.

“Pie? But the cookies are so good here!”

As Eunji playfully bickers with Hayoung about food, she half-listens as Chorong says, “Hello.”

“Hello,” Naeun parrots back.

“I’m sorry for everything,” Chorong offers.

Naeun smiles, a slight one that Eunji barely catches from the corner of her eye. “I’m sorry for everything too,” Naeun says.

There’s a beat of awkward silence before Chorong says in a deadpan voice, “Well, you’re awfully pretty from this up close. Eunji’s always been weak for a pretty face.”

Unable to stop herself, Eunji stops mid-sentence with Hayoung to protest loudly, “Hey!”

This makes Chorong laugh brightly and Naeun smile widely, and Eunji feels her heart stutter. With a resigned grin, Eunji supposes she can be the end of a few jokes if it makes these two exceptional women happy.

Chorong nudges her playfully, and Eunji just laughs. She presses a kiss to Chorong’s cheek then pulls out her phone. Eunji wants a snapshot of this, them. How far they've come. She holds up her phone, leaning back to get both Chorong and Naeun in the frame. Eunji knows she must have a goofy grin on her face as she tells them, "Say cheese!"

"Cheese!"