“I may not look like Miss Korea, but I know I’m not ugly… right? Right, Wendy?” I huff, falling face first into the comfort of Wendy’s bright pink bedsheets.

Wendy throws her AC remote at me, and I cover my head with both of my hands to brace for impact because I’m too lazy to move to avoid her attack. She misses me by a foot.

“Of course you are, what the are you even talking about? You’re like, drop dead ing gorgeous,” Wendy replies as she poses in front of her full-body length mirror. She’s trying on different clothes for her date with a guy she’s been talking to for a few weeks now on Tinder, and I can’t help but feel like a horrible friend for not being excited for her.

“That dress looks good on you,” I mumble, peeking at her reflection from my right eye that’s not smushed against Wendy’s leopard-print pillows.

“Sure I do,” she says sarcastically, turning around to grab my right arm forcefully, “I’m not even wearing a dress. Get up, please, I hate seeing you be all sulky like this—you’re going to stain my pillow with your make up if you keep assaulting it with your face like that.”

I let her manhandle me, sitting myself up limply before leaning against her bedframe with a loud sigh.

“Sorry that I’m ruining your night like this,” I sulk, staring at her as she changes into another set of clothes, “but like, you’re not wrong. I used to get at least one confession a day back in high school when I was still in Daegu, and not to brag but anything, some girls don’t even get one single confession in the three years of their high school life. That’s… something, right?”

Wendy rolls her eyes as she slips into an oversized purple sweater that looks stunning on her.

“Yes, you’re pretty, sweetie.” Wendy deadpans. “But looks aren’t everything, you know. Maybe Baekhyun likes… girls that seem completely disinterested at him. Maybe he’s the type that doesn’t like dating his friends—I know some guys who are like that.”

“Ugh, I really don’t think so. One time he told me that that Choi Jinri chick made him feel things because he’d spent an hour talking to her in the library while waiting for me and he didn’t even notice that time had passed by. Jinri is hot and she’s like a walking ray of sunshine that’s way too nice for her own good—meaning that she probably wants to be friends with everybody and gives all men the wrong idea, so,” I reply thoughtfully. “He definitely digs girls who’s hot and friendly.”

Wendy raises her brows at me through the mirror, and I mouth her a silent “what” in return.

“Choi Jinri made him feel things? He really said that?”

“Yeah,”

Wendy frowns. “What an odd way to say that he’s interested in someone. Now I get why you like him so much. You’ve always had a liking to special-snowflake kinda guys.”

I chuck her leopard-print pillow onto her face, but sadly, she successfully blocks my attempt to hurt her face with her pretty hands.

“What?” she asks defensively, as she puts on a pair of dark leggings, “I’m not wrong! You once dated Choi Minho for three months solely based on his competitiveness. You said it he made you feel like a winner’s prize every time you go out with him. That dude’s weird.”

I hide my cheeks with my hands at the memory of dating Choi Minho, my whole body flaring in shame.

“He’s—Minho’s a nice guy!” I sputter, hands still on my cheeks as I turn to glare at Wendy. “You should pair this look with your ZARA leather boots, you’d look badass.” I add quickly.

Wendy laughs, crouching to look for the leather boots I’d been referring to. “Yeah Minho’s a nice guy. Great for you, actually—shame he had to go on that student exchange program in Japan—but you can’t deny that he’s a little weird. Everything is a competition with him, remember? You told me one time that you guys even made a competition over who could make the other come—”

I throw another pillow at her way, and this time I don’t miss. It lands square on her back and it makes her curse.

“Seriously, stop throwing my precious pillows at me because it’s going to get dirty when it hits the floor. At least use my plushie or something,” Wendy whines, throwing her pillow back at me without even looking up. I laugh shamelessly. “Oops, sorry.”

“Why are you here, anyway, hm? Clearly you didn’t come here to be consoled with a movie night and some ice cream because that didn’t work out for you the last time,” Wendy grumbles, pulling out the leather boots from a deep corner on her shoe closet, and we both cringe the moment the moment the sad shoe meets the light. It’s wrinkly and the sole is falling apart at the seams.

“Uh, I think you shoved it way too deep into your shoe closet. Change of plans,” I comment, and Wendy nods dejectedly. “Use the heels. Your So Kate pumps would look so good with those leggings.”

“You’re crazy if you think I’m going to use my Loubs for a first date with some guy I met on Tinder. I’ll just use my trusty ol’ ballet flats. Anyway, as I was saying—or asking, to be more precise—why are you here?”

I sigh dramatically, falling back into her bed with a loud thump.

“I came here to have some heart-to-heart girl talk and get some love advice, and then I remember a few minutes too late that you don’t have a heart and your love life is ,” I explain. This time, it’s Wendy that chucks a foreign object onto my face, and thankfully it’s just a measly denim short. We really need to stop throwing things at each other as a form of communication.

“Yah,” she protests, dipping the bed with her weight as she takes a seat next to me, “just because I’m a serial dater doesn’t mean I don’t know anything about love. I’ll be serious about dating when I’ve found my right person.”

“Fine, Ms. Son. If you’re the love guru you just proclaimed yourself to be, then why can’t you tell whether Baekhyun likes me or not?” I glare at her chin.

“I can’t tell if Baekhyun likes you or not because I’m not a psychic, genius. Also, because we’re not that close to each other. You guys are the ones that are attached to the hip, not me and him, so.” The annoyance is apparent in her voice, but the look she’s giving me screams of nothing but support and care for me.

I send her a weak smile. Sometimes I think that I don’t deserve her.

“I can’t tell you if Baekhyun likes you or not, but at least I can tell you—judging from these frustrating stories you’ve been telling me for the past six months—that Baekhyun’s an oblivious guy. He wouldn’t get it if you don’t tell him the things you want him to know right to his face, so… Tell him,” Wendy continues softly.

“I can’t,” I shudder, closing my eyes at the thought of baring my feelings in front of Baekhyun like that. “It’s too much for me. I’ve never confessed to anyone in my life, and I’m not willing to sacrifice my pride for him just yet.”

“Well then if you can’t do that, the only thing you can do is look for any hint that might help you understand his feelings for you,” Wendy sighs. She knows that she can’t talk me out of this, because if there’s one thing she knows best about me, it’s how prideful I can be at times. I once made her apologize for yelling at me because I broke her favorite mug. I know it’s a bad trait to hold onto—I’ve already apologized to Wendy for that stupid incident, but I’m still working on lowering my pride when it comes to my feelings.

I hate being vulnerable.

“And how do I do that?” I inquire.

“By looking at his priorities. If a person likes you, you’re bound to be their top priority no matter what.”

**

It doesn’t take long for things to be somewhat normal again between Baekhyun and I. By not long it means approximately four days, because by Wednesday morning I can no longer take not seeing his face for four whole days, and I had succumbed into my inner neediness by texting him if he wanted to have dinner with me.

He said yes, of course, and even said that he’d pick me up at six because his class ends early today.

Which turns out to be a lie, because it’s seven now and I’m sitting alone in this stupid pizza restaurant that I picked solely because I know he loves the pizza here.

To: Baekhyunnie <3

19.00

where the frick r u?

From: Baekhyunnie <3

19.05

sorry!!! jjdfhkjfk traffic was so bad after dropping sehun off. omw now

To: Baekhyunnie <3

19.05

sehun’s?????? that’s a 45 min drive away from this pizza place. if u’re still far forget it i’ll just take my pizza home w me.

From: Baekhyunnie <3

19.06

nononon omg i swear im t mins away. it was raining and jongdae’s car broke down so i felt bad if i dindt send them home

From: Baekhyunnie <3

19.06

*6 mins away! i’ll pay for the pizza

From: Baekhyunnie <3

19.08

munchkin, are u mad at me?

To: Baekhyunnie <3

19.09

of course not.

Priorities. I know I shouldn’t be reminded of Wendy’s words right now because I had been the one to ask him out on a dinner date tonight.

But it still stings knowing that I really am not his priority. Not last Saturday when he’d forgotten to bring me my promised ice cream, and not today when he went missing for hours when he’s supposed to pick me up for dinner.

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