There is something so beautiful about stepping out of the office and be greeted with the warm kiss of the sun. Minseok can’t really put into words how much he loves the feeling of a fresh breeze on a spring day where the sky is blue and the grass couldn’t be greener, when the yellow rays of sun bathe the whole city in a wonderfully calm light. Sure, the cars still drive around and poison the air with their dust and carbon monoxide but Minseok can’t be bothered by that – he wears a black mask over his nose and mouth, as he always does when he takes a walk along on one of the main streets.

It is his lunch break, the sacred hour from 1pm to 2pm where nobody is allowed to bother him except a certain male that wears the match to Minseok’s platinum ring on his right hand. The slender band has been there for three years now, exactly 1095 days today, which marks the anniversary of their wedding. They have made plans to meet up 5 hours from now – Jongdae will pick him up from work at 6, then they will go home and both take a shower, change into their good suits and go out to one of the fanciest restaurants Minseok was able to book a table half a year ago. Then, they will follow through with the tradition they began in their dating-phase: taking a long walk by the Han River under the stars to go home by foot and from then on… well, Minseok has made sure that there was still enough lube and condoms for the night before he went to the office.

The small man almost skips down the sidewalk, open coat swaying in the wind as he walks towards his favorite café that serves the best coffee in the whole town. Jongdae has, being the perfect spouse, as always cooked lunch for him the prior so that Minseok at least doesn’t have to get crappy canteen food like most of his coworkers, but he still needs his dose of caffeine that isn’t automatically fulfilled with the one cup in the morning.

As always, his phone vibrates in his pocket as soon as Minseok comes to stop on the same red traffic light as he does every single day. He picks up without even looking at the ID, knowing fully well that there is only person who would ‘disturb’ him during this hour. It is a small routine that Minseok has come to adore over the years.

“Hello, my love,” he greets the other man, unintentionally beginning to smile by just the response he receives.

“Hey, Minseokiki,” the gentle voice of his husband is crooning in his ear, “Is everything alright?”

Minseok starts walking again as soon as the light turns green, “Wonderful as always now that I am talking to you.”

“You are such a sap sometimes,” Jongdae chastens him but the older man knows that it is just for show because after being with him for over 1000 days, Minseok can just sense that his lover is blushing by his words, cheeks turning just the slightest bit pink and his eyes fluttering in shyness.

“You love me for it,” Minseok teases and continues his way, going his usual route while talking the time away with his beloved husband.

The café he enters is especially known for its beautifully colored décor, something only people who already have found the love of their life can appreciate. When you are born, you see the world in various shades of black and white, up to the point where you touch your supposed ‘soulmate’ for the first time – it is only then when you get to see what colors actually are. For Minseok and Jongdae, it was in the middle of winter now little over six years ago so that neither of them noticed at first. It wasn’t that much of a touch more than a crash caused by Jongdae slipping on the iced trail in one of Seoul’s parks where he fell into Minseok and they both tumbled to the hard ground. It was as cliché as the rest of their story so far, especially when either of the man just saw white snow at first, thinking that nothing had changed.

But Minseok vividly remembers looking up and noticing that the sky looked strange – the usual grey-ish note faded into something more beautiful (it was blue, he later on learned), then he had casted his gaze towards the face of the man that brought him to the ice cold floor and froze for some other reasons than the cold. The same brown that greeted him in the eyes of the stranger is still his favorite color up to this day. After years and years of trying Minseok still hasn’t found something that is comparable, nothing comes even close.

Of course, there are other lovely colors that belong to the spectrum calling itself ‘Minseok’s favorites’ – like the lovely pink Jongdae wears on his cheeks when he is embarrassed or shy, the most beautiful gold-beige that is his lover’s skin or even just the very raw red that his husband’s sensitive body is coated with when he is dissolving into the mattress as Minseok is moving over and inside of him. And light blue is beautiful too but only because it looks so good when Jongdae is wearing it.

Jongdae is leaving work early today. One of his employees, Kyungsoo, is staying for longer than usually so that his boss can go and celebrate his anniversary properly, even if that means that he has to handle the little book store Jongdae owns all on his own for the first time ever since he started working there. But, after being a team for little over two years, Jongdae is more than sure that the younger man is capable of doing everything right since the small male is nothing if not thorough. So he leaves exactly at 4:30pm and rushes out of the store to run towards the nearest flower shop where he has ordered a bouquet of his husband’s favorite blossoms. Red roses – for obvious reasons. Some white Carnations – symbolizing innocent, pure love. A couple of yellow Irises that mean passion. And lastly Baby’s breath, the tiny flowers also kept in white filling the space between the other plants and in that standing for the purity of his lover’s heart.

He will put it in the bedroom, between a couple of candles that he will light as soon as they get home after dinner and their walk and when Minseok will see it, he will explain why he picked each of the flowers to show him how much his husband means to him exactly. They have decided on not giving each other presents because it is only their third year of marriage and in that nothing big but Jongdae still wants to do something to show Minseok how much he is loved. Yes, Jongdae may tell him that every single day, multiple times even but it still doesn’t feel like he does it nearly enough so this bouquet is the least he can do.

Jongdae holds the flowers pressed against his chest, close to his heart, and smiles as he makes his way home.

Minseok is reading over an application for one of the open positions they have when something strange happens. At first, it is only a twinge in his torso, located somewhere between his sternum and navel, as if somebody has pinched the skin there. But it spreads slowly upwards until his heart aches with every beat. Carefully and more than a little concerned, Minseok puts the papers on his desk and puts a hand over the hurting area and tries to take a few calm, calculated breaths. It will do him no good if he starts to panic about a little thing that might be even nothing – it could be that he has a blockade in his spine or maybe just mean that he is hungrier than strictly normal and hasn’t noticed because he has been too focused on his work.

So he stands up and lifts both arms over his head, starching as far as he is able to and still breathes as if he wants to calm his pulse. The pain is still there, nothing has changed – at least so far – because right when Minseok is sitting back down it feels like somebody has just rammed a knife inside his chest.

Gasping for the air the man hunches over and squeezes his eyes together, stars exploding inside his head and agony pulsing in his upper body.

As fast as it came, it is gone again.

When Minseok sits up straight again, slowly because he doesn’t want a relapse of whatever this just was, he keeps his eyes closed and stills for a couple of seconds before he dares to look up again. All he focuses on is the white ceiling with its also white ornaments carved into it (Minseok doesn’t know why but he supposes that this has something to do with his boss being very fond of unnecessary ‘luxury’). Then he casts his gaze down to the desk and freezes.

He clearly remembers the application being wrote in blue font on the first page – so why is it grey now? Now almost panicking again, Minseok jumps up and turns around to look out of the window that is behind his chair, because the park in front of it is green and the sky is blue and the sun is yellow and will soon bathe the city in its golden touch because it hangs so low… but all he can see are variations of white and black. And Minseok’s whole world shatters.

Minseok runs out of his office, half blind due to the tears blurring his sight, not knowing where he is going or what he is doing since all that rules his body now is fear. There are only two reasons why the colors disappear again: the first is when one part of the couple is in coma and therefore not conscious of the world. The second is when one of the mate’s heart stops to beat.

Perhaps he is only dreaming. Maybe he has fallen asleep behind his desk because the application was just so boring to read, or maybe he has been asleep the whole time and the day has not even started. Perhaps he himself is the one not conscious and Jongdae just tries to get him to wake up somehow and now he is finally reacting to it – he knows that this is all bull but Minseok just can’t grasp the fact that his lover maybe isn’t with him anymore.

Two arms catch him right when he is running around a corner.

“Hyung,” the man mumbles, wide eyes looking down at him in concern, “What is wrong? Why are you crying?”

Minseok sobs before he is able to answer, a breathless and tortured sound that he would have never considered possible coming out of his own throat.

“J-Jongdae, he, I, Chanyeol he, I mean I cannot, Jongdae-“

“Breathe, hyung,” the younger man says, still keeping his shoulders in a strong hold as he bends down a bit to look him straight in the eye, “I can’t understand you like this.”

“The colors are gone!” Minseok all but screams, his voice cracking and his throat hurting so much that the words are raspy enough that one could think he has been smoking cigarettes continuously for the last twenty years.

By just the expression on Chanyeol’s face, Minseok sees that the younger man got what he was trying to say. His features show horror more than anything but soon all the older of the two can see is darkness when Chanyeol presses his friend against his shoulder.

“Hyung, I’m so sorry, what happened?”

“I don’t know,” Minseok sobs into his suit jacket, now his own fingers are clawing at the other man’s back, “I was just sitting there and then there was pain in my heart and then all the colors disappeared and I don’t know what happened to him!”

Chanyeol keeps him close, rocking them back and forth while murmuring soothing words into his friend’s hair, completely tuning out the rest of their co-workers watching them as if they have lost their mind.

A phone vibrates. Minseok’s phone.

He has never fumbled the device out of his pocket so quickly before. There is not enough time to look at the caller ID, he just accepts it and holds it against his ear, wishing nothing more than to hear his lover’s voice telling him that everything is alright.

“Is this Mister Kim Minseok?” An unknown person asks, calm and warm.

“Yes,” he whispers, turning away from Chanyeol, his eyes are still closed and the tears are still falling freely, “That’s me.”

“I’m sorry to tell you this but it seems like your husband has been involved in an accident. The paramedics came to the place immediately but it was too late to-”

The phone falls out of his hand, crashing to the wooden floor where the screen shatters at one edge. Minseok follows suit, crumbling to the ground like a house of cards in a hurricane.