My alarm was ringing, but I didn’t have the energy to turn it off. I just felt weak & eventually was so drowned by my own thoughts, the sound faded.

 

Let it go, it’s been so long

Are you stupid, love doesn’t exist.

You guys were just kids.

 

 

But I loved him.

I still love him.

I want him.

 

I stopped myself from the mindless thought.

“Calm down”, I took a deep breath.

 

I realized I only had an hour to get ready before I was late. After graduate school, I got an internship at a small mental health clinic. I cannot be late on the first day!

 

 

 

 

“Welcome!”

 

I was welcomed by a man with dark brown hair swept back.

“You must be the new intern, I’m Namjoon”.

“Hi, I’m Yoon”.

We exchanged smiles and he led me on a tour of the small clinic.

 

“This place is not as big as we would like it to be, but that doesn’t mean we can’t make a big impact”, he said with his deep voice.

 

His eyes,

Those eyes had sincerity, love and care. I could tell he was passionate about his work.

“So, what do you here?”, I asked.

“I’m nothing fancy. I don’t hold any big title or anything here. I just do a little bit of everything here and there or wherever I’m needed”.

I silently nodded, like seriously, how do I respond to that?

 

“It may seem a little overwhelming at first, but you’ll get the hang of it”, he smiled.

 

He had these dimples that fit his smile so well. He lit up the room with his positive energy.

We planned a work schedule, got a staff ID printed for me, met the other staff here and so on.

 

 

“Yoon, you’ll be shadowing me for a week okay?”

 

“Sounds good”, I said.

 

 

 

 

I got a text.

It was Seulgi, she wanted to know if we could grab lunch together. It was a perfect timing because I had just finished my orientation at the clinic and haven’t eaten all day.

 

We agreed to meet up at a restaurant closer to her workplace because she was on her lunch break. I didn’t mind, it gave me an excuse to be out instead of being home alone.

 

“How’s the internship?” Seulgi asked.

“It was nice. The people there seemed friendly and were very welcoming of me”.

 

We continued our catch up talk and work place talk.

 

“How does it feel like to be back?”

“It feels great! I’m glad to be back in a familiar town with familiar faces” I said.

 

My mind wandered off a little bit.

Do I feel great, or am I just saying so? Am I glad to see familiar faces?

 

“Hello? Yoon?”

Seulgi waved her hand in front of my face.

 

“Oh sorry, I spaced out”.

“I was letting you know that my lunch break is over, I’ll be heading back”.

We got up and paid for our meals.

 

“You know, Hoseok  said he would like to catch up with you as well. I didn’t know you guys were good friends back then”, Seulgi said.

 

“Oh, we were… seatmates”, I said nervously.

“May be that’s why! You guys probably spent lots of time together in high school then huh?”

 

I nodded, “Well, you better hurry back. We can talk later, see you!”

 

We went our separate ways. Seulgi went back to work and I went home.