I slowly opened the door to our house. I stayed at Wonyoung’s place really late after I drove Hitomi home. I was so animated talking to them that I didn’t even notice that it was past 2 in the morning already. I was even planning to sleep there but decided otherwise.

Stepping inside, the first thing I noticed is that the lights in the kitchen are still on. I’m sure it’s you because only the two of us live here. What bothers me is that you never stay up this late. Always, sleeping early so you could wake up early too. 

I walked towards the kitchen. Even if I told myself a hundred times already not to worry about you, you’re pregnant and this might not be healthy for the baby. 

“Hey,” I gently greeted you.

You didn’t seem surprised or confused. It seemed like you were expecting me.

“Why are you still awake?”

You look at the glass of milk in your hand.

“I couldn’t sleep.”

I stepped closer towards you and chose to stay on the seat adjacent to yours.

“What’s wrong?” I asked with a hint of concern on my tone.

To hell with what I told myself, I promised you that everything will be alright and I never break my promises.

Even if you did. 

“I have a lot on my mind and I was also waiting for you too.”

I nodded my head.

“Why were you waiting for me?” I slowly ask. 

I hear a tired sigh from you and I couldn’t do or say anything other than stare and wait for you to answer.

“We need to talk.”

I nodded again.

“Then we are talking.”

This time you’re the one who nodded. You nodded slowly and calculatively, as if you’re buying time so you could weigh your thoughts in your mind. Again, I patiently wait. 

“Who’s Hitomi?” 

I gulped.

Why do we have to talk about her? She’s no one to you. Nonetheless, I thought of the easiest way to answer your question.

“Wonyoung’s friend,” I gave the simplest answer.

You shake your head, unwilling to accept what I just said.

“Chaewon, you know that’s not what I meant.”

“Well then you have to ask clearly if you want me to have the proper answer.”

Again, you sigh.

“Who is Hitomi to you?”

I pause. Not knowing how to answer that question. Truth be told the answer is easy but it’s difficult to say. Right at this moment, I could hurt you and lie that she’s as important as you used to be to me but I can’t. 

I can never truly hurt you.

Deep inside me, I know that I care for Hitomi but I don’t think it will ever be the way I cared for you. No matter how hard I try to deny or hide it or even forget it I just couldn’t. However, you can’t know that. You’re not allowed to know how pathetic I am for still caring for you after what you’ve done.

“Why do you have to know anyway?”

“You said you’ll give me the proper answer if I ask clearly. I asked clearly.”

I shake my head.

“You don’t have to know, she’s not important to you.”

Your fist pounding on the table made me jump. I’m both surprised and confused. You left your seat and you’re breathing hard.

“Why are you lying to me?!” You shouted.

Feeling angry at the way your accusing me. I pushed myself off the seat to match with your height.

“Don’t you ever ask that to me! You were the one who cheated on me with your best friend, Minju, in our home days before our engagement party! You have no right to question me as if I’ve done something terrible!” 

I bit my lip because I’ve never been this angry to you. No matter how much anger I’ve felt when we were still together I never showed you my violent side. To you, I was doting and caring showering you with all the love I could offer.

“I’m sorry for shouting,” I said in a low tone.

You scoff.  

“You don’t get it huh?”

I paused and stared at you.

“What do you mean.”

“You just don’t really get it,” you repeated.

I felt offended by what you said.

“Then make me understand, Minju. I tried to rationalize what you’ve done in my head but I couldn’t. I tried real hard but no matter how I tried to think of something that could explain it there is nothing that could justify the hurt that you inflicted on me,” I said while trying to calm myself.

You look up to me and tears are falling from your eyes, wetting your cheeks. It’s the first time that I could properly see you. You looked very tired and fragile. I also noticed that it seemed like you’re losing weight rather than gaining like most women when they’re pregnant.

“This is so frustrating,” you groaned.

“Do you think this is