it's not like she didn't know what she did wrong.

 

this wasn't a fit punishment for being out so late with her friends.

 

why is she acting like this?

 

the walls feel like they're going to close in until i can't breathe. 

 

//

 

"out of... your mouth... you'd say such a thing, kim yongsun?"

 

she got up to stand next to yongsun, who followed and tried to make sure she didn't run off.

 

she slid the expensive ring off of her slender finger and threw it to the floor.

 

"don't." 

 

she pushed the older girl's shaking hand away from grabbing hold of her.

 

yongsun's heart had dropped.

 

"don't talk to me again."

 

it spun around till landing flat, she felt her heart break and had no time to breathe.

 

only time for agony. 

 

"and get out of my house."

 

"byul-yi. i'm only doing this to save you, you know..."

 

"save me from what? you've already hurt me enough." 

 

she had turned her back to yongsun.

 

leave. this is what you wanted. 

 

"can you just--"

 

she grabbed byul by the back of the shirt. 

 

"i don't want you to leave."

 

byul didn't turn around. she didn't move.

 

"why?"

 

"does it matter now? you don't love me." 

 

she doesn't love me. 

 

she's not in love with me. 

 

"i- no, i didn't mean that."

 

you sure seemed like it. 

 

"but that's what you said, is it not?" 

 

"besides, what are you trying to do?"

 

she scoffed and turned towards yongsun

 

"did you just come here to hurt me? what did i do wrong?"

 

she walked closer and closer to yongsun's obviously upset face

 

"did you even ever love me?"

 

she came face to face with yongsun, crossing her arms 

 

"or was that a lie?" 

 

"byul, you know that's not true."

 

"can you... can you just stop it?"

 

when will the pain be enough for you?

 

she said, tears rolling down her cheeks

 

"i'll just leave, okay?" 

 

please don't leave me. 

 

moonbyul choked, 

truthfully she didn't want her to leave.

 

"stop crying, please. you're upsetting me."

 

she grabbed her face and wiped her tears away with her thumbs

 

"it hurts but i still love you, i'll care for you even if you don't like me." 

 

"tell me though..."

 

she tilted her chin up to look her in the eyes

 

"is this the end of us?"

 

this hurts. 

 

she won't say no,

 

why would she stay here?

 

she has no reason. 

 

so it's okay.

 

even if it hurts me

 

i still love you. 

 

even if this is the end.

 

"i...."

 

"i'm sorry byulyi..."

 

.....

 

will you just say it? 

 

i know already 

 

it's fine,

 

it's fine,

 

it's fine.

 

"you can keep my jacket."

 

"i'll leav-"

 

"could you just say it already? or are you scared?"

 

"i know it's over. just tell me... then you can leave."

 

they stood in silence for a moment 

 

"it's... it's over, you won't have to see me anymore... i won't try to get you back."

 

that's what you want?

 

"i won't waste your time."

 

i still love you.

 

"i won't try to be your friend." 

 

this isn't real.

 

what did i do?

 

she must be lying.

 

"it's all over." 

 

i can't live without you.

 

// 

 

i tore the pages out but you're still gone.

 

if you aren't lying, i don't want my name in this book anymore.

 

only the walls know the truth and only my dreams will tell me what i want. 

 

for now, i want to pretend. 

my life can be a fairytale.

 

one where i can be happy.