ii.

Donghae can’t hold his liquor. His friends think that it’s the most hilarious thing as it usually provides great entertainment at parties. Just a couple of beers in his system is enough for Donghae’s senses to go out of the window; by his third drink, he’ll already be too far gone to care about the rest. He’ll shout and cry and laugh, depending on his mood, and dance on tables and hug anybody who’s willing. Sometimes, he even fake-swims in the middle of the road in only his pants, according to Kyuhyun who’s always breathless from laughter when he tells the story.

But at the end of the day—or the night, whatever—, all that Donghae ends up with is headaches and regrets. So yeah, usually he tries to avoid it.

Today is Saturday, which means Saturday party, which means that Donghae has to watch his intake of alcohol if he doesn’t want to feel awful for the rest of the weekend. His friends have no such concerns and are already on their good way to get completely wasted. Donghae doesn’t really feel like waking up with a raging hangover the next morning, so he wanders to a quieter spot at the periphery of the core of the party.

Sure enough, Boa is already there. She’s always been a reasonable drinker and he likes that about her. Donghae joins her and sits down next to her on a worn-out couch.

“Hi,” Boa greets him with a pretty grin.

Donghae smiles back at her, clinking his cup against hers in a mock toast, and she laughs and rolls her eyes playfully. As their shoulders brush together, he vaguely entertains the idea of kissing her at some point tonight. He always feels when he’s tipsy and he thinks that she wouldn’t really mind, either.

There’s always been something going on between them. Not really a dating thing, but rather a “we’re both single and tipsy, I’m nice and decent-looking, you’re great and awfully pretty, so maybe we should hang out, wink-wink” thing. They did have a go at a relationship a couple of years ago, after that party when they first met, but figured in the end that they were better off as friends with occasional benefits.

If he’s entirely honest, Donghae isn’t really satisfied with this arrangement. He likes people and he likes to hang out with people, sure, but he also wishes that he could love someone. There hasn’t been anyone since maybe his first year of university, which was ages ago. Now he’s about to graduate from his Master’s degree and he’s feeling awfully lonely. He just wants someone by his side—someone who’d challenge him every day, someone who’d hold his hand and make him smile and know all about him, someone he’d be eager to come home to.

Someone not like Hyukjae then, his mind supplies innocently. Donghae wants to retort, why would you bring him up now?! He’s having a perfectly good time, there’s no need to ruin it.

But, as he looks at the crowd of people gathered for the party, and then at Boa and her pretty smile, he thinks maybe this is not where he’s going to find his someone.

Donghae sighs. Next to him, Boa gives him a curious look.

“Oh, uh.” He clears his throat. Smiles at her. “Hi. How are you?”

They chat for a little while, relaxing into the couch and ignoring the racket their friends are making. Soon Donghae finishes his second cup of beer. He sternly tells himself to stop there, especially if he doesn’t want to regret it tomorrow, and he’s feeling tipsy enough to believe it’d be a good idea to kiss Boa right about now. She’s not his someone, that’s for sure—but she’s good in bed, and she’s never complained about him, and he feels like having a good , so why not?

Boa looks like she’s waiting for it, too, if her hand lightly travelling from his shoulder and down to his elbow, and then up again, is of any indication. It turns Donghae on so good that he starts thinking exclusively with his instead of his brain. He smiles at her, slow and lazy, and leans his head closer to her. She smells good. Too sweet to his liking, but that’s okay.

But then, as they scoot a little closer to each other, their conversation takes an unexpected turn towards Hyukjae, out of all things.

Donghae startles a little, as if he’s just been slapped awake from a daydream.

“Uh, what,” he repeats. His mind clears up just enough that he’s able to focus properly again.

“I meant Hyukjae,” Boa repeats, amused. Her hand is on his thigh now and his twitches in interest inside his pants. “You asked how I knew him. We worked together on a presentation last semester. He’s really nice.”

“Nice,” he scoffs. “That’s an interesting word for it. I am nice—but that guy, he’s an .”

Boa laughs a little. “Don’t be mean,” she scolds him lightly, and then tentatively kisses the corner of his mouth. “You’re right though; you’re very nice.”

But Donghae doesn’t feel like it anymore. He hums noncommittedly under his breath and shifts away from her, which earns him a surprised and curious look from Boa. Mumbling something about getting another drink, he walks off unsteadily in the general direction of the bar.

His mind is suddenly filled with Hyukjae, Hyukjae, Hyukjae, and it’s so annoying, and he just wants it to stop. Donghae groans, as he remembers Hyukjae’s scowl and the way that he flushed in the cafeteria and his fresh, lemony smell. Hyukjae, Hyukjae, Hyukjae, his brain keeps saying. Hyukjae.

Hoping to shut up the vicious voices in his head, Donghae gets a third beer. And then a fourth. And a fifth, and a sixth, and a seventh.

*

Donghae’s head pounds painfully from a raging hangover for the rest of the weekend, and he regrets it so very much.

*

On Monday, Donghae is still suffering the consequences of his mistakes. A mild but ever-present headache keeps thumping uncomfortably in his temples, like a constant reminder of every bad decision that he made on Saturday night. Only his pride holds him back from going back home to have a manly cry. Donghae is a strong, healthy young man and he refuses to be defeated by a harmless two-day-old hangover.

Or at least that’s what Donghae tries to convince himself. Groaning softly, he carefully rests his forehead onto the cool surface of his desk and prays for mercy. His open laptop barely hides him from the watchful gaze of the lecturer but he can’t bring himself to care. This is probably what death feels like, he thinks gloomily. Headache-y, too loud, and vaguely nauseous.

Next to him, Kyuhyun rolls his eyes. He seems clearly unimpressed by Donghae’s misery. “You’re being very dramatic,” Kyuhyun comments lowly. “And pathetic.”

Unlike Donghae, he’s taking diligent notes of the lecture, and unlike Donghae, he looks very much fine. Donghae hates him a little. The bastard took twice as many drinks as he did and yet he looks as fresh as a ing flower. Life is so unfair.

“Shut up,” Donghae retorts halfheartedly.

“It’s probably old age catching up with you,” Kyuhyun says wisely. “You’re getting too old to get so drunk.”

Donghae moans unhappily. “Please stop saying that I’m old.”

“Sure, old man,” Kyuhyun snickers.

It feels like an eternity before the lecture finally ends. Donghae briefly wonders why he even bothered to come; he has literally no idea what has been said for the best of the past two hours. He knows that he’s definitely going to regret it later, especially when he’ll have to revise, and the thought makes him groan in horror. Deciding that he’ll worry about it when the appropriate time comes, he gathers his things and walks out of the room. He has a free period before lunch and has every intention of using that time wisely.

But just as Donghae’s about to head off home, someone grabs him by the elbow. He stumbles, disoriented. A whiff of a fresh, lemony smell then brushes past his nose as he’s pulled to a stop. It clears up his mind a little, calming down the uncomfortable nausea in his stomach and prompting him to blink confusedly.

“Uh,” Donghae starts as he turns his head around—

—only to meet Hyukjae’s impatient scowl.

Donghae winces back instinctively. There’s no way that he’ll be able to handle Hyukjae and his prickliness today, with the way that his whole body seems to want to melt through the floor. But he can also tell from past experiences that arguing with Hyukjae would only bring him more pain rather than relief.

Donghae really doesn’t know what’s worse—dealing with Hyukjae and getting a headache from it, or fighting with Hyukjae and getting a headache from it?

“We should meet up,” Hyukjae declares firmly.

Donghae sighs in defeat. Maybe Hyukjae will monopolize the whole conversation again and he won’t actually have to do anything else but be there.

“Did you have time to read the material that I lent you last time?” Hyukjae asks.

“Uh,” Donghae says again. He’s not sure how he’s supposed to explain that he was too busy trying not to die over the weekend to do anything remotely productive. “Kind of?”

Hyukjae nods in satisfaction. His fingers are still wrapped around Donghae’s arms and the latter suspects that he forgot about it. “Good, then. Let’s meet in the library to talk about it.” He pauses, and then tilts his head to the side as he peers at Donghae curiously. “You look terrible, by the way.”

“Wow, thanks,” Donghae snaps, stung. “I just had a rough evening on Saturday because of that party. No need to rub it in my face.”

“Saturday?” Hyukjae gasps. His eyes widen dramatically and he stares at Donghae as if he’s never seen something quite like him before. His hold on Donghae’s elbow tightens briefly. “That was two days ago, you know! Surely you’re not still hungover!”

“I’m just tired!” Donghae exclaims defensively. There’s really no need to look so shocked.

Hyukjae finally lets go of Donghae’s arm, fresh lemony smell fading away with him. “Hmm,” he utters but sounds deeply skeptical. “If you say so. Anyway, I will see you in the library in fifteen minutes.”

Embarrassed, Donghae scowls and folds his arm