One hand on the cold silver door handle, Jinyoung halted his movements and faced the older man. He jerked his body to look at Jaebeom’s form.

"Just one more question, hyung. Then I will leave," and that made Jaebeom lift his head away from his palm, still refusing to look at his bestfriend.

As Jinyoung saw that he got Jaebeom's attention he continued,

"You still loved him?" and that made the older male tense, "You still love him, right?" the younger male asked Jaebeom again who's facing the paused song on the computer screen, shoulders slumped, heaving deep breaths.

He softly nodded. So soft that Jinyoung might not be able to catch if he's not paying immense attention to the older male's actions. So soft as if there wasn’t a whirlwind of emotions destructing his whole being.

Jinyoung slowly pulled the once ajar studio room door and walked towards Jaebeom, waiting patiently for the older male to talk--- talk about anything, tell him things like he used to do.

But to no avail, Jaebeom still, planted on his feet, eyes strained at the tiled floor, fingers tangled together in a tight knot.

The younger man slowly trudged towards his besfriend, sat down on the cushioned chair he claimed to be his minutes ago.

"So, why did you guys end? Why did you leave him?" eyeing the older male, Jinyoung asked once again, wanting to get some answer.

"Because," Jaebeom started, eyes looking everywhere except the man in front of him who was boring his soul with an intense stare. His eyes found interest on the line of wires at the room's ceiling.

Running his hand over his face--- frustration, anger, and hatred seeping in his voice.

"I don't know. I wasn't good for him, I hurt him, you know?" Jaebeom said through clenched teeth.

Eyes now staring at Jinyoung, he continued, "Sometimes..." voice cracking at the last syllable as a new batch of fresh warm tears escaped from his eyes.

"I hurt him all the time, maybe not physically but emotionally. Sometimes... I meant to and I hate myself for doing that," hands in a tight fist that made his knuckles turn white.

Jinyoung just stared shocked, tongue-tied at his bestfriend, as the older spit those venomous words--- like it was an acid burning his insides.

Jinyoung does not know the variables and inner workings of his bestfriend’s relationship with Youngjae. He and the other members knows how those two wanted to keep their privacy. Even Mark knows when to pry about the said matter to Youngjae. It even took a year before the group managed to fish out the information from the two male--- caught in their old dorm’s living room, Youngjae’s lap on top of Jaebeom’s thigh whilst thumb busy scrolling on his phone; looks innocent from an outsider's view, aside from how Jaebeom’s nose was nuzzling the younger’s neck, planting soft kisses on the bare skin, arms wrapped on the much skinnier waist.

As their leader confirmed the relationship, ‘we’re planning to tell you guys after the concert, looks like there’s no need for hiding anymore,’ Jaebeom’s exact words; screams courtesy of Jackson, and a resonated playful ‘eewww’ from the maknaes erupted from the small dorm. A flustered Youngjae was gently jabbed at the side by Mark’s elbow and Jinyoung even joined teasing the couple.

‘At last, someone who can handle our chic and y leader,” Jackson even said between giggles, and that earned a flying pillow to the said man’s direction.

That was two years ago and looking back to those years until these past few months there’s only one conclusion Jinyoung can manage to make---- They are undeniably in love.

So being in this state--- him trying to simmer down his fury as he tried to pry some answer from his stubborn bestfriend on what happened to his relationship with Youngjae was beyond his imaginations.

And yes, Jinyoung was shaken beyond words how vulnerable his bestfriend looked--- eyes hollow, quivering lips, and voice full of self-hatred.

He wanted to help, he really does, and both Jaebeom and Youngjae were precious for him. But Jaebeom wasn’t cooperating, he silently hoped Mark can get some words from Youngjae once the younger male wakes up.

"He was so in love with me and I took advantage of it, I was toxic for him," Jaebeom continued, "But I loved him. I still love him."

Jinyoung just stared at his bestfriend, mulling over his confession, as Jaebeom let the bottled-up emotions flow through.

"I love him so much, Jinyoung. I think a part of me will always will. But he deserved so much better."

“If you still lo—” his next words were cut when another voice was heard behind Jinyoung that made the two males jerked their heads towards the now open door.

"You don't decide what's good for me."