That Monday was the first day I stepped into this cafe. And it was with him.

       I remember inhaling the aroma of the coffee beans..
   It calmed me down instantly . 
I still remember that smell even though this place does not carry the same aroma anymore.

   “ Do sing forever “
 
He wanted me to sing forever. 
 But I did not understand what he meant back then.

“ what did you mean earlier?”

 I gathered all the courage i could find to ask this. I still remember my hands trembling, not with fear but with nervousness.

“  By asking you to sing forever?” He asked with a slight smile while running his fingers through the rim of his coffee cup.

       “ Yes”  I replied waiting to hear his answer...

“ Don’t you love singing kyungsoo?” 

      He then stopped playing with the cup and looked straight at me.

I was dumbfounded by that question. 

     “ I.. I do.”

“  Then why would you stop? You should continue doing what you love kyungsoo.. forever “

I stared at him. I should  keep doing what i love?

           “I... uh.. I..”

I couldn’t think. His words kept ringing in my head..
 Jongin laughed.A really  cheery laugh which caught me off guard. His eyes were half closed and twinkling like stars...

    “ You are cute when you stutter” he said and covered his mouth to control his laughter.

 My thoughts were interrupted by that sentence, or should i say... that word ...

I stared at him with my mouth agape.

 I was called cute for the first time in  my life that day and it was by him.

I still think whether that small word was the one that knocked on my hearts door.

I felt his fingers touch my chin in such a tender way and slowly closing my mouth shut. 

        He was smiling and i was still staring.
 The smile wasn’t showing cheerfulness but something else.

Now i know, that it has been affection.

My cheeks were burning...together with all my other body parts.....
my heart was beating in an irregular pace....
And my thoughts were running around the place....

The warmth of his fingers were still ghosting on my chin....

My mind was battling against my heart to take control...
 I forced myself to look down and forget his touch....

        It wasn’t easy... And it got harder as time passed...

            But that day to my greatest relief, my mind triumphed ... 
the senses I couldn’t find earlier were clear again...
   
     “ I’m not cute..” I mumbled , audible enough for him to hear. 
    
    By then i was ashamed again and irritated at myself for wavering over such a small word.
He just said ‘ cute’ and i was blushing and getting too excited, involuntarily. 
    I had to control myself, i had to be myself. 

The guy who blushed at the mere word ‘ cute’ was not the kyungsoo you could find every day. 
 
I thought to myself.

I cleared my throat. Jongin was still looking at me. 
   It was hard looking at those brown orbs which spoke on their own.
They could drown you if they wanted and you’ll never even struggle to stay afloat.

I shook my head slightly..
I have to stop this...I can’t be weak and trust him too much.i told myself.

“ jongin.., please don’t tell anyone about this”

He looked down for a second,lifted his head again and nodded with a small smile.

I remember returning the smile and taking a sip of my coffee that was forgotten till then.

“ But... i have a condition kyungsoo.” 

I kept my cup down.

     “ What?”

   A condition?What kind of a condition?

He started talking..

“ just like you.., i have things that i love to do.”

He paused and took a sip from his coffee. 

“ And?” I could not wait to know what he meant there.

“ I want to continue doing these no matter what kyungsoo. In order for me to keep your secret, i want you to help me continue those......Will you help?”

 He had a suspicious looking smile on his face and I pondered whether to agree his condition or not. 
   What could I possibly loose?

    Many things.. I thought again.

“ It’s nothing illegal or dangerous soo,i swear” 
        i chocked on my saliva as i heard him calling me ‘ soo’. 
      His smile was filled with mischief...

   “ i will.” 

I said too quickly. I didn’t want to blush again so i had to change the atmosphere soon.
 I doubted whether i made a wrong decision.i took in a deep breath. I couldn’t go against my words now.

“ perfect..” 
His eyes were glistening with joy...

He took a sip, looked at me again and continued.

“ i love dancing.... 
you can help me practice.. in anyway possible...”

Relief washed over me.It was not a difficult task at all.
    i smiled unknowingly.

“Well that was all i loved doing,...
              But that was until....”
He took in another sip and sighed.

What did he try to say? Why did he sigh? What did he mean?All these questions ran around in my head.

   “ until... until what jongin?...”

             I asked....
         my words barely audible....

“ until i got addicted to your voice Soo...”