After wrapping up at M Countdown, ITZY is now ready to go home and will get that well-deserved rest.

The group is now on their way back to the dorm after winning their very first trophy. Not all may understand it fully but it has been a rather emotional ride for Yeji, Lia, Ryujin, Chaeryeong, and Yuna moments prior. Everybody just can’t wait to get home; crying makes one sleepy after all.

Yeji heaves a sigh. Setting a record sure does wonder especially on cyberspace, she thought. Though she is overwhelmed by the wonderful congratulatory words by everyone - fans, family and friends - Yeji can’t help but notice almost every Korean idol websites have them being on the headlines, and some aren’t even about their first win.

Comparisons, expectations, copycat—

Blank.

Yeji closes her phone with a frown. No, she can’t be dwelling with that right now. 

Distractedly, she looks around the dim-lit van and her eyes darted over to Manager-oppa at the passenger seat, talking formally to someone on the phone. She looks to the other side of the pilot seat and finds Lia with her headphones on, bopping her head lightly.

Yeji giggled. It’s kind of cute.

Peeking over her shoulder, Yeji now checks on the other three. What greeted her sight seemed to haved captured the leader as the corners of her lips slowly tug into a soft smile. 

There in the back sat Chaeryeong and Ryujin now sleeping soundly at both ends of the car seat with Yuna dozing off like an oversized puppy between them. Yeji has to fight a laugh; of course Yuna would still find a way to latch herself unto everybody even in slumber. Despite being obviously bigger, Yuna still chose to scoot herself lower just so she can reach Ryujin’s shoulder and rest her head on top of it, the older Shin doesn’t seem to mind it one bit as she had herself leaning lightly against Yuna’s red hair as well. On the other side, Chaeryeong has her head leaning against the car window but with her left arm extending to rest on Yuna’s lap, the younger girl holding it captive as she wraps their fingers tightly together.

Yeji grins at the most precious sight she’d seen all day, but such felicity doesn’t seem to last very long. In spite of the dim light provided solely by Seoul’s city lights, Yeji can still see the exhaustion written all over her members’ sleeping  faces, and that uncomfortable feeling she tried so hard to suppress came lurking back to the surface again, as well as the expectant faces and the public’s criticizi—

“Yeji-ah?”

The voice pulled Yeji out of her trance and she snaps her head almost automatically towards the source. Lia stares at her with brows furrowed in worry, her headphones now dangling loosely on her neck.

“You okay?” Lia asks one more time.

Yeji stares at Lia for a moment before shaking her head lighly, laughing in a strained voice. “Yeah, of course. Why wouldn’t I be?”

Lia frowns. “You seem out of it just earlier. Are you sure?” 

Yeji swallows. The amount of worry from Lia’s tone is enough for her to crumble in guilt. She was, and still is, never been good at keeping false emotions to herself. She has always been the type to voice her imperfections and concerns because she knew that she has so much to learn and improve. Now, as the leader of a rookie group who had just became the fastest girl group to win their first award after 9 days of debut, Yeji doesn’t know what to make of it. Don’t get her wrong, she was beyond happy and thankful because everybody worked so hard and a lot of people showered them with support and love since the beginning, but being viewed as someone so perfect by people in all parts of the globe has brought massive pressure down on her shoulders. Yeji knows that not all of the  industry’s audience are like the kind-hearted staffs of their company; that thought alone makes her fear for the safety of the group and especially her members.

So lying to Lia that she’s fine for their own sake is understandable, right? Even if it hurts and doesn’t feel right, Yeji would take it. As long as the girls are safe, Yeji wouldn’t mind the pain.

“Jisu, I’m fine. Don’t worry and get some sleep, okay?” Yeji smiles reassuringly, patting Lia’s shoulder briefly before straightening her back to gaze the never ending streetlights outside.

“Okay, but hey Yeji?”

“Yeah?”

And just as Yeji turns to look back at Lia, she felt her hand being grabbed and got tugged to the side and suddenly, Lia is so close to her face right now.

“We all know that I can’t be fooled that easily, Yeji-ah,” Lia sternly affirms, but visibly softens when she said her next words, “especially when I feel that something’s bothering you.”

And just like that, Yeji deflates. “Jisu…”

Lia leans back a little, still not letting go of Yeji’s hand as she sneaks a glance over the passenger seat before turning back to Yeji after hearing a sleepy snore come out of Manager-oppa. This time, the stern persona from earlier completely dissipated as Lia regarded a down-looking Yeji with full of worry, making sure to keep her voice soft.

“Ji-ah, tell me what’s wrong? I don’t like that look on your face.”

“Okay, I’ll smile for you then.”

“Yah Hwang.” Lia glares and lightly slaps Yeji on her forearm, eliciting a weak chuckle from the leader. “Be serious with me right now, what happened? Is this about earlier? Our first win?”

Lia seems to have said the jackpot as Yeji’s sly yet tired smile wipes out of her face. However, she hasn’t prepared herself on what she’ll hear next.

“Jisu, I’m scared,” Yeji looks down, “Don’t get me wrong, okay? I’m really, really, happy and thankful for our first win. I really am. PD-nim has always reminded us to stay humble no matter what, right? That’s never a problem to us because you guys are just so amazing and kind. What I’m really scared of is… what if I fail on becoming a good leader? How then will I protect you guys when people will start coming after us because of our ‘rising popularity’?”

The hold on their joined hands increased tightly. 

“You, Ryujin-ah, Chaeryeong-ah, and our baby Yuna-ah? I don’t want you guys to get hurt. I’ll be fine if their words and criticisms will get subjected to me. As long as you guys are out of it,  I’ll be fine. I just… I just want to be stronger, gonna work harder, and will always give a good performance for the sake of our group and for all of you. I’m sorry if I lack on being a good leader right now. I promise, I’ll do better.”

Yeji blinked when she felt something cold on her lap. Only when she repeatedly blink again has she realized that tears have been falling down since earlier. A minute had passed and Lia still has yet to say something. Was she shocked about all these? She knows she should’ve just kept it to herself for awhile. Who was she kidding, this is a very heav-

“Are you kidding? I’m glad you’re our leader Yeji.”

Yeji’s eyes widened and snaps her head up, only to be greeted by a very reassuring, sincere, and smiling Lia.

“We all are. You’ve never lacked one bit Ji-ah, you have always been the most hard-working out of all of us. That’s why we adore you so much and look up to you. I’m aware of our group’s status right now and the possible consequences it might face in the future. But…”

Lia brought her other hand and placed it gently on top of their already joined hands, squeezing it softly. “…you don’t have to face it all alone. That’s why we’re a group, Yeji-ah. You may be our leader, but your burden will also be our burden, and we are going to face it head on together. All of us. We will always do our best and we’re going to do it as one.”

All of a sudden, Lia removed her free hand and brought it up to wipe off Yeji’s remaining tears before saying, “All in us, remember?”

Without a word, Yeji pulled Lia by the hand and engulfed her in a bone crushing hug. The younger girl almost stumbled out of her seat but regained composure and hugged the older girl back with matching vigor.

No words were exchanged, only the silent yet warm cries of Yeji can be heard between the two. Lia thought that no words are actually necessary right now because she somehow knows what Yeji wants to convey, and she thinks that’s enough. ITZY will become a family, and when Yeji’s going to need a support the most, she will be there. Always.

Both girls have fallen alseep peacefully after, never letting go of each other’s hands for the rest of the ride.