she's got that smile and that body is to die for

part one

***

Sometimes, Jennie feels like she’s not doing enough. Feels like she’s incompetent. Feels like she doesn’t deserve to belong amongst the talented trainees of YG, and she’s sticking out like a sore thumb.

Maybe she had gotten through auditions by a of luck.

It’s no wonder she’s had a ty evaluation three days ago.

Karma must have hit her after she’s told her mother off about not wanting to pursue further education in the US. It enraged the woman, but she eventually relented upon realizing her daughter would only wallow in misery, being shipped off into another country.

Again.

And it’s not as if her father was pleased about it either. They’d spent a fortune in providing her a high quality education and to have her snubbing at the opportunity of attending a higher quality education took a bit of a toll on him. He didn’t show it as visibly as her mother did. Her dad is a passive man, making short comments here and there. Though, he had never vocalized going against her decision. He had simply nodded, asked which entertainment company she was interested in and that was that.

Her parents wanted her to be a successful professional at a respected field one day so Jennie hadn’t exactly anticipated for their one-hundred percent support. She was shocked to find her mother fussing over buying her new outfits, dropping by the dorms to deliver homecooked meals, asking for a sample of the raps she had been practicing on. And even her dad would send her texts of encouragement in between his busy schedule and that’s as showy as the man gets.

So struggling to keep up at this very moment is a huge slap in the face.

She restarts the music, the fast-paced song reverberating through the solo practice room, and dances to the same routine she’s been working on then hastily stops it when her moves don’t match to the beat of the song. Shutting her eyes in frustration, she breathes in and out, in and out, until she recomposes herself.

“Um, do you need any help?”

Jennie’s eyes trail to the doorway where a boyish looking girl stands in the way. If it isn’t for her very feminine but low voice, Jennie would have seriously assumed for her to be a male trainee. She dons a short boy-cut hair and her tall lanky figure is dressed in a loose button down shirt and jeans which were rolled up above the ankles. People have been talking about the new trainee and she hasn’t had the chance to meet her until now.

“I can manage.” Jennie forms a weak smile, forcing out a mannerly but frank response, “And not to be rude or anything, but you’ve only been here for a week.”

“I’ve seen the choreography,” she tells Jennie, pronouncing her words carefully, her accent hinting that she’s only learned Korean recently.

The girl honestly looks lost, her eyes wandering around the room, and it wouldn’t be surprising if she had stumbled upon the solo practice room by accident. No one really goes through these halls after six.

Jennie switches to speaking in English, “Thanks, but no. And you’re free to speak to me in English. I won’t tell.” She reassures her, aware of the no English speaking policy trainees have to abide with in conversing with the foreign trainee, and walks to where her duffle bag is to retrieve her phone. She informs Chahee on her whereabouts and how she won’t be joining her for dinner tonight, while expecting the foreigner to take her cue to leave.

Instead, the girl releases a breath Jennie didn’t know how long she had been holding in and she hears footsteps echo inside the room. Jennie isn’t trying to be mean or be a or whatever, but she’s sure she hasn’t mentioned an invitation for her to come in.

“I appreciate it but it’s taken us a month to learn the choreography, and—”

Music blares into life, the vibrations of the sound system thumping underneath Jennie’s aching feet. Her blood boils. Good dancer or not, she’s not in the mood to be schooled by someone who hasn’t faced the wraths of evaluations. Who does this girl think she is?

Irritation is bubbling in her chest, suds of uncalled profanity ready to slip from . She wants to play nice, wants to, but the newbie is making it especially hard, getting into position on the dance floor.

The words die and try in Jennie’s mouth as soon as the girl dances. Like she’s been learning the choreography her entire life. Her movements are effortlessly sharp, fluid dance moves following to the beat of the music in great precision, all of which Jennie hasn’t been able to master yet. She even adds her own twist to the routine, doing a body roll and a cartwheel at the end.

Jennie’s jaw drops.

So maybe the other trainees really weren’t overreacting with the whole photographic memory thing.

The foreigner approaches her shyly in easy strides, not looking the least bit exhausted. As if dancing came naturally as breathing did to her.

“The offer still stands.” She stretches her hand out. Jennie isn’t one to trust easily but there is something about this girl she couldn’t quite put a finger on. Something that draws her in. Something that breaks her suspicions of new friendships in this world of competition. The girl’s eyes radiate of hope, glancing at her outstretched hand for Jennie to take.

Jennie sighs and thinks, what the hell, as she shakes it.

The foreigner beams at her full on with her pearly white teeth and hey, she’s kind of cute in a younger brother sort of way. So Jennie returns the smile and the newbie eases up, shoulders relaxing.

“I’m Jennie.”

“My name’s Lalisa. You can call me, Lisa.”

***

“Did you just get back?” Miyeon catches her in the hallway when Jennie arrives at the dorm.

In the span of two hours, Jennie was able to get the hang of the choreography, fixing her past mistakes with Lisa guiding her patiently. Lisa was an impeccable teacher, showing her the basics and a few techniques to improve her form and synchronization. It all made sense upon learning that Lisa had been dancing since she was around five years old.

“Yeah. And I’ve finally met that new trainee. I totally believe you now.”

“What did I tell you, she’s good, huh?”

“She even taught me the new dance routine.”

It’s Miyeon’s turn to be impressed, head lurching forward at the revelation. “Did she? While she’s only been here for a week?”

“Trust me she did.” Jennie gestures to Miyeon’s wallet and keys in hand. “Where are you off to?”

“Juice run. Wanna come?”

“I’m beat,” Jennie says, her muscles screaming to be relieved of the pain. “Maybe some other time.” She bids her goodbye and heads to her dorm room.

If it wasn’t for Lisa, Jennie would probably still be stuck dancing to the first thirty seconds of the song. It can be a rarity for someone to willingly help a fellow trainee with something, since people tend to view everyone else as their competitor. So Jennie is tremendously thankful. She fishes out her Blackberry from her front pocket, typing in a quick message.

You

Hey it’s jennie. Thank u again for today

I’d be dead by the next evaluation if you hadn’t taught me

8:45 pm

Lalisa

no problem. but i should be thanking u unnie

8:48 pm

You

For what?

8:49 pm

Lalisa

for being my new friend :)

8:50 pm

***

Jennie has always been rebellious in nature, though not to the extent it would get her disowned in her family. Just the adequate amount of rebelliousness to get her what she wants. Like, when she had ignored her mother’s wishes for her to be come a future lawyer or teacher and fought for her dream to become an artist. So unsurprisingly, she has also ignored one of YG’s golden rule of prohibiting interactions between the opposite .

“Aren’t we going to be in trouble?”

Bobby is a cool guy she had accidentally bumped into one fateful night when she had gone out for her infamous midnight snack raid. The two had gone alone separately, and with Bobby coming from the US, it was a breath of fresh air for him to meet another trainee who spoke English. They discovered they both loved to rap so their common interests had shaped their bond.

“You’re worried now?” Jennie asks calmly, leaning back into her chair across him. Besides, they’re at a convenient store a couple of blocks away from the dorms and trainees barely go in here because the store is just tucked in so quaintly, almost unnoticeable, at the residential area. Jennie likes it. It’s quiet, and she and Bobby chill at this place to isolate themselves from everyone else in their own English bubble.

“I’m still fairly new,” Bobby points out then sips on his Yakult. “Say, I’ve met some female trainees outside too ya know. You’ve been keeping your cute and hot friends from me.” He tuts at her.

Jennie rolls her eyes. “You are such a boy.”

“You are such a girl,” Bobby counters childishly. “Did you know I had a crush on you when I came in?”

“Yeah, I mean, not that your staring was obvious.”

“Hey! I was subtle.”

“Sure, if that helps you sleep at night…”

“The ways you burn my ego, Jen.” Bobby dramatically places his hand over his chest, feigning a wounded expression on his face. It only earns him a second eyeroll from Jennie. He switches onto another topic. “So some of the guys are curious about this dancer who was featured on YouTube.”

“Oh, Lisa?”

“So that’s her name! The foreigner right?” Bobby clarifies. “I think some of them met her before but they said she looked different then and now.”

Jennie could attest to that.

Lisa’s hair had gotten longer, now reaching past her shoulders and puberty is currently doing its magic by shooting up her height while Jennie watches in jealousy.

“It’s okay, unnie, I’ll be here to give you a piggyback ride to get to the top shelf!”

Jennie had initially pegged Lisa to be the quiet type, a first impression she had in their first meeting. She was demure and hesitant in the beginning, however, everything changed when her true colors emerged little by little as Jennie got to know her.

Lisa is loud, hyperactive and very talkative, like a snotty five year-old on a sugar rush stuck in a fifteen year-old’s body. Jennie could immediately tell whenever she’s coming to see her, Lisa’s voice booming from the hallway of the dorm.

She hadn’t originally planned on gaining a best friend during her trainee years, yet, here she was, convincing someone to sneak out at two in the morning because she was craving for some poptarts (“What’s a poptart?” Lisa asked her curiously. “More reason for you to come with me!” Jennie exclaimed).

And it’s not just Lisa’s eagerness for late-night adventures that Jennie likes about her, she’s easy to talk to as well. Jennie confides in her most of the time, texting each other after lights out until dawn and picking up where they left off in person the next day. It helps that Lisa isn’t one to judge either, with the rumor mill among the trainees brewing something crazy day by day. So when a particularly hurtful rumor spreads about her, Lisa is there to comfort her in a second (the same scenario goes for vice versa), saying things like: don’t mind them, unnie, some people misunderstand others because they’ve been misunderstood too, a sad cycle don’t you think?

Jennie doubts the younger girl has a hateful bone in her body.

It’s only been a couple of months since they’ve met but Lisa has definitely grown on her.

***

“Aww, who is this cutie next to you?”

Roseanne Park is a brand new trainee, hailing all the way from Australia, and her thick Aussie accent gives Jennie this nostalgic feeling, sounding so similar to her friends back in New Zealand. It had been her home for five years and for the first time ever, she’s catching some homesickness for the foreign country.

“What are you talking about?” Jennie asks.

The girls have been up for hours, welcoming Rosé into their group who has wowed everyone with her melodic singing voice as she sang and played on her guitar for them. But when the clock struck two, Miyeon stretches her arms and lets out a yawn, declaring that she’s done for tonight, leaving the four of them behind in Rosé’s new dorm room which she will be sharing with Lisa.

“This one!” Rosé flashes her the photo in her hand and Jennie studies it. Her face burns at the insinuation, mouth tilting upwards in acknowledgement at the person, then laughs it off before tugging Lisa’s arm.

“Oh my gosh, she called you a cutie!”

“This is Lisa?!” Rosé asks in bewilderment, inspecting the picture more intently, causing Lisa to hide her face in her palms, evidently embarrassed by it. Jennie could remember the number of times she had ranted about regretting having the short haircut, especially when younger trainees had mistakenly referred to her as oppa.

“That’s our Lisa-oppa.” Jisoo jokes, Lisa’s chestnut brown hair.

“Don’t be shy, Lice! If it helps, I’d totally date you if you were a guy.” Rosé winks at her humorously, prompting Lisa to slap her playfully, like they’ve been this close since forever.

There’s something in what Rosé said that Jennie mulls over, that she finds herself staring at the old picture taken years ago when she once levelled with Lisa in terms of height. As Rosé and Lisa bicker while Jisoo acts as the mediator, Jennie silently agrees to herself with Rosé’s statement.

I’d totally date you if you were a guy.

***

“Oh, look at you!” Jisoo browses through the sample photos from Lisa’s Nonagon photoshoot, briefly abandoning her cup of yogurt in her other hand.

“Nothing compared to what you’ve done!” Lisa says humbly.

“Still! You’ve got yourself a gig!” Rosé plops onto the space beside Jisoo on the lower bunk of Jisoo and Jennie’s bed.

“I actually thought I was going to be alone during the shoot but Bobby was there too.”

“He was?” Jennie pipes from behind the door of the mini fridge she had smuggled in. She’s looking for something, something, now she can’t remember what. She ducks her head back and scans through the contents once more. Great. The milk’s expired. She grimaces at the expiry date. “Was he being nice?”

“Super!”

“He’s a cool guy, isn’t he?” Jisoo waves her spoon around before digging in to her yogurt. “It wasn’t awkward when I worked with him.”

“He’s that comfortable to be with,” Jennie says, still scanning around the food for whatever she’s looking for. She also makes a mental note to send Bobby a text later, curious about his side of things regarding the photoshoot. It’s not always that Lisa gets to meet a male trainee for a gig, apart from her appearance in Taeyang’s music video.

“Unnie, is it true you guys had a thing when he started?” Rosé inquires Jennie in between chewing her sliced bread.

“So not true,” Jennie laughs contemptuously. God those rumors other trainees were spreading were ridiculous. “We’re just really good friends. Still are.”

What is she looking for again?

***

Jennie’s love life becomes the farthest thing she thinks about for the incoming years as she focuses her energy on debuting which proved to be worth it.

Her fears of being unable to debut had been plaguing her for some time. The intense fear had nearly caused her to drop everything and quit, but with the girls’ assurance, not to mention Lisa’s easy-going smile and upbeat attitude towards the future, Jennie had regained her confidence. She wouldn’t have survived it all without her members.

“Okay, so manager-oppa has trusted us to be by ourselves today so please be at your best behavior,” Jennie says, buckling her seatbelt.

Jisoo chimes in, “Yeah, listen to your unnis, kids!”

Jennie raises an eyebrow at her. “I was talking to you.”

“Unnie! You got something on your face.”

When Jennie peers over her shoulder to the maknae sitting behind her, she gets extremely flushed at Lisa’s extremely close proximity, mere inches separating their faces. The girl had sprung up on her like a Jack-in-a-box, taking Jennie by surprise.

“Don’t move or your make-up will be ruined.” Lisa instructs her.

Jennie wordlessly complies.

Lisa steadies herself amidst the moving vehicle, hands delicately poking at the side of Jennie’s cheek, while Jennie herself desperately steadies her quickening heart rate. She tries, tries, to distract herself from anything other than Lisa’s profile but all her eyes could concentrate on is Lisa’s prominent nose, the smoothness of her face, her beautiful round eyes, her pink plump lips glistening from the lip gloss she had applied on earlier, how her slightly opened mouth paves way to her breath lightly fanning Jennie’s own lips—

Oh God.

Stop.

“Got it!”

“Personal space, Lice.” Jennie angles her face away from hers, hoping the younger girl wouldn’t notice the lilt in her tone.

Jisoo scoffs in disbelief, “Says the person who slept in my room and pushed me out of my own bed.”

***

“Hurry up or we’re going to be late!”

Jisoo is whizzing past everyone around the dorm, grabbing her things, stuffing them haphazardly into her carry-on bag and jumping over Lisa’s half-packed suitcase. They had woken up two hours late and Jennie’s thankful that she had readied her belongings the night before in case the inevitable, as in snoozing their alarm clock, happens.

Which did.

Lisa is eating breakfast in the kitchen, munching on dry cereal (no one bothered to buy milk when they ran out), moving like they don’t have a plane to catch.

Jennie gapes at her bandmate, nagging thoughts of their face-to-face encounter washing over her. It must have been the closeness, Jennie deduces, that her body made that inexplicable reaction. Anyone else would have. She was needlessly overthinking things, needlessly overthinking over nothing.

“Ooh! What if I put coffee in my cereal to speed things up?”

“What if you don’t.” Jennie swiftly steals the pot of coffee from Lisa’s hold

Yup.

It was nothing.

They had miraculously made it to their flight to Japan, something they really couldn’t miss or their boss would whoop their asses for delaying their preparation time for their Japan debut showcase. There were interviews, photoshoots, dance practices lined up and missing or rescheduling any of those would mean money going down the drain. Their manager wasn’t too ecstatic at their buzzer beater kind of arrival but they made it anyway, it’s what mattered.

Their Japanese welcome had been overwhelming, fans upon fans showering them with support, wishing them goodluck, offering them presents and whatnot which pushed Jennie’s excitement for their performance to another tier.

As the time comes for the actual show, Jennie hypes the crowd, an exhilarating experience as they bounce in place, screaming their name. The familiar intro to Boombayah plays within the arena and the crowd goes even more hyped up.

The girls dance to their song, practiced and memorized every single step that it’s forever engraved into their heads. In a certain part of the choreography, Lisa is behind Jennie as Rosé sings her verse.

Jennie is hyperaware of Lisa’s hands on the sides of her thighs, fingertips gently brushing against her. And the moment her brain registers that Lisa is tracing along the lines on her legs, a jolt of electricity runs through her toes, up to her knees, her oddly upset belly, her pounding chest and to her reddening face.

She lets out a tiny yelp.

“Did you just squeak?” Rosé whispers to her.

“Felt a bug on my leg.” Jennie whispers back quickly.

It’s nothing.

Really nothing.

***

Jennie and Bobby remain friends.

Although Bobby has been in the industry two years longer than she has, he’s still the same down-to-earth knucklehead she’s known in their early trainee days. Their meet-ups have significantly dwindled from every week, to twice a month, to once every other month, then to whenever their schedules permitted.

They had also upgraded their location from the confines of the cozy convenience store to the privacy and comfort of Seungri’s ramen restaurant, the perks of being acquainted with him. He had notified his staff and granted them access from the backdoor entrance so as not to spark any dating scandal, which could scathe Jennie’s premature idol reputation.

“Okay, tell me about your life so far. Stuff that the media doesn’t show and know,” Bobby says expectantly, handing the menu back to their waiter.

“Nothing really,” Jennie replies honestly. There hasn’t been much going on in her life outside the cameras. She spends most of her free time leisurely as she can, holed up in her room, binging on Netflix, cuddling with her dogs, Kai and Kuma. “Just—” her words are cut off by the incessant buzzing of her phone on the wooden table. She glances at Bobby apologetically. “Hold up a sec.”

Jennie presses her phone onto her ear. “Hey, Rosie, what’s up?”

“Unnie!”

There’s a banging or clanking noise in the background, Jennie’s not sure. Something like a can hitting against another object.

“Are you guys alright?”

“Um, don’t know what to do here, but uh, Lisa’s got her hand stuck in a Pringles can.”

Ah, that explains it.

Jennie stifles a giggle, earning a curious “What is it?” from Bobby, who is observing her phone call with a tilt of his head. She holds up a hand, signaling for him to wait.

 “Isn’t Jisoo-unnie with you guys?”

“Yeah. All she did was ask what flavor it was then went back to sleep.”

Jennie shakes her head, sighing at this peculiar situation only Lisa would make possible to be in. “Pour some oil into the can, or anything slippery. I’m sure her hand will slide off.”

“Gotcha.”

“Chaeng! Tell unnie I said hi and I miss her and—”

The line goes dead.

Jennie stares into the screen of her phone, wondering if that conversation really just happened or it was all a weird hazy dream. She reverts her attention to Bobby.

“Lisa got her hand stuck in a Pringles can.”

“A Pringles can?”

“Yeah, I know.”

“What a child,” Bobby comments with a hearty chuckle.

Jennie nods, an endearing smile gracing her lips. “Lisa gets into these unusual situations, God knows how, but she’s the most serious when trying to resolve conflicts and is always the best at cheering people up.”

When she finishes, Bobby crosses his arms over his chest, a smug look plastered on his face. His eyes disappear in his amusement.

Jennie knows that look, uses that look herself whenever she would tease Bobby years prior about his not-so-obvious crush on Jisoo (who wouldn’t though?). An odd sensation fills her stomach, being the receiving end of such a taunting expression.

“So Lisa, huh?”

“What?” A lump forms at the base of Jennie’s throat. An invisible spotlight shines on her, crowning over her head, the thoughts she had shoved and locked away in the uncharted territory portion of her brain escaping, flooding back to her. Like a sailor calling for the waves to bring them ashore.

“Oh, nothing. Just that your face has this glow when you mentioned her.”

No, no, no. She can’t be having this conversation again.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Come on, Jen,” Bobby starts, a comforting hand covers her clammy one, perspiration seeping through her palms. The memory of her thirteen year-old self unfolds in front of her eyes, snapshots of New Zealand, her friends, Sam, her short-lived relationship. And Jennie knows, knows, the next words that would fall out of Bobby’s mouth, dread clear as day etched on her features.

“Girls can like girls too.”

unedited.

thoughts??