The depressing silence of the room was broken by the annoying beep of the instruments. Misty, white light came in through the window. Sunggyu's body cast a shadow over the thin body in front of him. In the white bed of a white room, between the white sheets a boy was lying. His body was shattered, his face puffy and wounded, his rib covered with gauze. He was breathing hard. The instruments beeped unevenly; once the boy's chest moved so fast, once it relaxed too much. It was silence. And in silence, the beep became even more unbearable.

Sunggyu squeezed the boy's hand, raised it to his lips, kissed it, while he was watching the boy's wounded face. He would have given everything to make the boy to open his eyes. He would have done anything to see the lively, cheerful gaze he fell in love with. To see his vibrant, sticky smile again.

But the boy didn't smile, he didn't even look at him. He didn't wake up. Tears burned Sunggyu's eyes, he had to take a deep breath. It felt as if he hadn't been breathing for days. He blinked, breath in and then blew out his breath methodically. He told himself that everything would be fine. Nothing was fine, but if he says it for a long time, he will believe it. Then this pain, this burning fear in his soul will disappear. Then maybe he'll be able to breathe again.

He barely noticed that five other boys walked into the hospital room but could not take his eyes off the unconscious boy in front of him. He must be here when he wakes up. He wanted to be the first whom the boy will see.

"Hyung," Sungyeol said quietly. He sat down on the chair next to him and put his hand on Sunggyu's shoulder gently. He looked worried at the oldest's pale face. "You should go home to relax. To eat something."

Sunggyu didn't answer, his mouth was dry.

"Hyung…" Myungsoo's voice was imploring. He stood on the other side of the bed and crouched to be at eye-level with Sunggyu. "We'll stay here. If anything happens, we'll call you right away. Please, go home!"

Sunggyu didn't look at him as if he hadn't heard his words. His gaze, that dull, veiled eyes, frightened Myungsoo to death. He looked up at the others. Dongwoo looked at him in a desperatly way, while Sungjong's eyes were full of tears. The youngest then stepped next to the boy's bed and took his hand. The boy's palm was strangely hot and sweaty.

"Hyung, I miss you," he whispered, a tear rolled down on his face. "You know, it's okay if you poke me. It doesn't matter if you hit or criticize me." Sungjong wiped his tears with his shirt. "Just wake up, okay? Now once, let me command you. Wake up!"

Myungsoo squeezed Sungjong's shoulder.

"Sunggyu, please go home. Sleep a bit and come back in the morning" Hoya asked quietly.

"I'm not tired," the laconic answer came. "I'm not hungry either. Just leave me alone."

The five boys looked at each other, but they couldn't do anything. Sunggyu wouldn't have left the boy in the hospital room for nothing. So all five boys stood around the boy's bed protectively. His face was sweaty, as if he was feverish, with sweat drops on his skin.

"Shouldn't we… " but Hoya couldn't finish the question, because at that moment the door opened again and the doctor came in.

Sunggyu stood up at that moment and the others spun.

"Doctor," Sunggyu said, but his voice was weak. "How is he?"

The doctor glanced at the injured, then at the instruments, wrote something on his paper, and finally hung the data above the bed. Dongwoo tried to read it, but he saw nothing.

The doctor's face was not encouraging at all.

"He woke up last night," the doctor began, looking at each one in their eyes. He seemed definite, but in his eyes some ancient sadness sat. "Just for a short while, until you did the paperwork." The doctor paused for a moment and glanced at the motionless boy. "Based on the tests, there is no injury that would be permanent. The rib is broken, but it will be built. His wounds will heal."

Sunggyu's blood froze in his veins.

"But…? "

The others tensed, staring at the doctor. For a moment, it seemed like the time had stopped. Sungjong prayed silently, asking all the gods who were watching them not to get bad news.

"The blow to his head caused great damage.”

Sunggyu's jaw tightened.

"What kind of damage?" His voice was harsh and expressionless. He asked this question, but deep inside he was so afraid of the answer.

"Because of the blow…"

Sungyeol, who was closest to Sunggyu caught him when he fell on the chair. His blood was pounding in his ear, his glance blurred. His lips trembled when he looked at the unconscious boy lying between the white sheets. He heard the words of the doctor too clearly in his ear.

"What have I done?" He whispered and his voice was shaking.

 

* * *

 

It was cold that night and the snow fell. Sunggyu and Woohyun were on they way to home from the practice room. They were both made for their duet concert. For a concert that will be performed only by the two of them, together, and which had been preparing for months. They were happy and excited, especially Woohyun, who could only talk about it, he was always singing their duet song: while cooking, in the shower, he was listening it in his earphones, he was singing it before they had fallen asleep, and he whispered this song into Sunggyu's ear every night. Slowly, Sunggyu started to hate their own song, and they have never even performed with it. But he never said that, he let him enjoy, let him be happy. His smile and cheerfulness made Sunggyu happy as well. As the days went by and the concert got closer and closer, Sunggyu became more and more in love with the boy.

But that night they had a fight. Sunggyu couldn't remember what was the reason. It was tiny, stupid. They were just going home, Sunggyu was driving. The snow fell in large flakes, he could hardly see in the darkness, even though street lights were . It was cold, Woohyun was cold. And Sunggyu didn't give him his coat because he was angry. He yelled at him. Woohyun was irresponsible, almost ruined everything, almost ruined the concert. It was only days away and it seemed they have to cancel the duet. Everything they worked for for months.

"Would you stop shouting?" Woohyun yelled and hit the dashboard. "I got it, okay? I made a mistake! But I also solved it!"

"Damn it, Woohyun, you've almost ruined everything! We almost had to cancel what I've been working for for months!" The older boy's face turned red, his hand tensioned around the steering wheel.

"You've been working for?" Woohyun turned breezily, his gaze was sparkling angrily. "And then what did I do, Sunggyu? Have I been drinking cocktails and watching TV? I have exactly as much work in the concert as you do! I worked the same as you did! My dream was almost ruined too! I also shat a brick, yes! So don't pretend as if I didn't do anything for this concert!"

"Well, what you did was almost ruined it all!" Sunggyu yelled, the veins tightened on his neck and took his breath as instensely as he had been running 10 kilometers.

"Screw yourself, Sunggyu," he said. "You know what? Do it alone! You're so perfect at all, you can run a duet by yourself!"

"It would be okay if you were not so irresponsible and childish!" He hit the steering wheel.

Woohyun had already opened his mouth to say something very disgusting, but he had no time for it.

It wasn't Sunggyu's fault. If it had been his fault, it would have been much easier to bear the consequences. The biker seemed to came up of nowhere, at a speed that could no longer be avoided. Woohyun heard the sound of the wheels, and saw the lights of the spotlights blinking on his side, but he couldn't understand what that meant. It was just a moment, and everything went dark.

 

* * *

 

"He went… blind?" Sungjong's voice was squeaky, and silent sobbing was choking his throat. Myungsoo's lips trembled, Hoya wildly ran his fingers through his hair, turned his back on the doctor to cover the pain on his face.

"No. He is not blind yet. But his eyes suffered damage that is very difficult to heal."

Sunggyu picked up his head.

"Does that mean there's a chance?" His voice rose by an octave. His chest burned, he wanted nothing else, but… he didn't know what he wanted. "There's a chance, right? Very difficult, but there is a chance to heal him, am I right?"

The doctor took a heavy and big breath.

"When I said it was very difficult, I wasn't just thinking that surgery would be difficult. Or that for Nam Woohyun will be difficult." The doctor's gaze was so sincere that Sunggyu's stomach twitched.

"It doesn't matter," Sunggyu shook his head, but he had to bite his lips to prevent him from breaking in sob. What if they cause more pain to Woohyun? The painkillers numbed him, but in these moments deep inside he may had to endure hellish pain. "If there's a chance to heal his eyes, please tell me!" he continued. "No matter how much it costs!"

The doctor shook his head.

"You don't understand what I'm talking about," he said silently.

"Then explain it!" Sunggyu yelled, and at the moment he didn't care that he was talking informally with the doctor.

"There's a way for the boy to be able to see again. As he used to see before" the doctor said slowly, that they all could understand. "But it has a great price. And I'm not talking about money now."

"Unless it causes him even more pain," Sunngyu said, and he thought all his words seriously, "no matter what is the price."

"There's only one way to heal him."

 

* * *

 

Suddenly, everything swam in light and in crowd of sounds. A momentary pain squeezed Woohyun's muscles and he stiffened. Pain. Everywhere. In his chest, in his head, in his leg. His hand was itching, but when he wanted to scratch it, long, repulsive pipes blocked him, which were pushed straight into his hands. Gauze. Gauze covered his rib, his hands, his eyes, and one leg.

The light, however, penetrated through the gauze. Woohyun cautiously lifted his hand out of which there were no pipes and pulled the gauze out of his eyes. He felt strangely twinge in his eyes and they were dry, like the desert. Blinked a couple. His eyes hurted, it felt like it was dust in them. He blinked until the burning sensation disappeared. Then he looked around. His vision was bad. The objects were blurred in front of him, it has no use to blink, nothing was better. Everything was spotted and tangled. It was like leaving his glasses. He was dizzy from the strange haze.

He turned his head to the side where the light came from. He was very close to a couch and could only see what it was because it was barely five steps away. There was someone on the couch. No, not just someone. He could even see his red hair with his blurred vision.

"Sunggyu," he whispered, his throat was dry, as if he hadn't spoken for days. He puckered his brows. Then the memories swamped him like a lightning strike.

That motorbike… The light and the deafening sound… The accident… Suddenly everything became clear. He was in a hospital. And Sunggyu… He was okay.

"Sunggyu!" He called him louder and it was terribly annoying that he barely saw the boy. "Are you awake?"

Sunggyu winced and sat up as suddenly like an electric shock would hit him.

"Woohyun?" He asked a bit dazed, but turned his head into where he heard his name from. "Did you wake up?" His voice was weak and shaking, maybe because of happiness or maybe because of sadness.

"You sound like a person who is about to cry," a half-smile appeared on his lips, but his face hurted of the gesture, so he quickly stopped. "If you start to cry here, I will tease you to death."

Sunggyu didn't answer. Woohyun's stomach twitched. He tried to focus on Sunggyu's face, but something was wrong with his vision.

"Hey… Just… I'm just kidding. Cry if you want! Cry!" He said, but fear could be heard in his voice.

Sunggyu still didn't answer.

"Can you hear me? Are you still there?"

"You can't see me?" Sunggyu's voice was silent, and Woohyun almost felt how his body tensed.

"I can only see your silhouette," Woohyun admitted, trying to twinkle, maybe it will help him to see better. "My vision is very blurred. Something is wrong."

"That's not wrong," the boy sighed, the fear disappeared from his voice. "The doctor said you will get used to it soon."

"Will I get used to it?" Woohyun repeated. "To what?"

Sunggyu didn't answer, and Woohyun began to be nervous. He swallowed to gulp the bad feeling.

"Are you okay?" Woohyun asked softly. "Did you hurt somewhere?"

Sunggyu's jaw tightened.

"I'm too good. I should have… I shouldn't have…" His voice got stuck.

"If you start blaming yourself now, go home, because I'm not curious about your self-pity," Woohyun warned.

"Please, don't send me off." In this one short request, there was so much emotion that Woohyun's chest tightened.

"I'm sorry," he whispered. "Would you came here?" He asked softly, still trying to focus on the boy's face. But he saw only his red hair. "I don't see you very much."

Sunggyu didn't move for a moment. Then slowly, gently stood up from the couch. Woohyun nictitated and saw a little bit clearlier. Sunggyu held something in his hand. A stick. The stick knocked strangely on the floor. Sunggyu walked very carefully, Woohyun saw the silhouette of his outstretched arms. In one, he held a stick in front of him, with the other he was touching the wall.

Woohyun couldn't move.

When Sunggyu came to him and sat down on the bed, he could finally see his face well. There was one single scratch on his face, and a couple on his neck. Apart from these, he looked almost okay. Maybe Woohyun felt relief for only one moment, but he was unable to speak. His gaze moved upward on Sunggyu's face. Sometimes he could see clearly, sometimes not. He was focusing so much to see Sunggyu's face.

He didn't notice, just guessed that his body was tightening, his mouth trembling, his stomach twitching, and fear exploded in his chest.

Sunggyu didn't look at him. Not because he didn't want to. His eyes were blurred, but not because he was crying.

But because Sunggyu's black eyes disappeared. There were two dim, strange glass eyes in their place.

His blunt vision… That Sunggyu said he'd get used to it soon… That stick in Sunggyu's hand… That he used the wall to walk… That he walked so carefully…

Sobbing broke out of Woohyun’s throat. He raised his hand in front of his mouth, his tears running across his face, his shoulder shaking unstoppably.

"Csss," Sunggyu whispered, but his voice dried in his throat. He leaned forward, blindly looking for Woohyun with his hand, and when he found his arm, he pulled him closer and embraced him. "It's okay." He whispered, yet his voice fell at the end of every word. "Evereything is okay." He put his chin on Woohyun’s head, caressing his back consolingly.

The pain came from so deep that he couldn't stop it. As if it had burned out everything in him, the pain flashed in his veins like some toxic lava. Woohyun saw unbearably clear everything that happened. He heard clearly how Sunggyu shouted at him, remembered the sudden light, the grinding sound of the wheel… and then nothing. The next memory was the moment when he woke up. He didn't get of without injury. And Sunggyu… His caring, loving, yet stubborn and annoying Sunggyu… The boy he fell in love with, who gave new meaning to his life, because of whom he finally felt alive… and he fell in love over and over again...

Woohyun pushed him away, grabbing his face in two hands, squeezed it with sobbing, pain, bitterness, hopelessness, guilt.  He watched the stranger, glass eyes, and his chest hurted under the desperate pain.

"What have you done?" His words were almost incomprehensible.

Sunggyu's shoulder was also shaking, he lowered his head, not wanting Woohyun to see those things in the place of his eyes. In the place of the black eyes that Woohyun loved so much. He once told Sunggyu that his eyes were so beautiful that he losts every time when he's looking at them.

"Don't bow your head." said Woohyun bitterly and forced Sunggyu to look up. The boy lifted his head with his eyes closed. Woohyun's heart split, the torment burned his heart.

"Please…"

"You almost went blind," Sunggyu whispered, clenching his eyes. "The doctor said there was only one solution." Sunggyu gently d for Woohyun's hand on his face and when he found it he and squeezed it. "There was no question what I was going to do."

"Why?" Woohyun whispered, his hand drooped. His voice was full of bitterness. "Why did you do that?"

"Because I love you."

So nice words. They look so simple. He said them so easily. As if everything could be explained by loving him. As if everything could be an excuse for love. Perhaps it was for him. It was so simple for him. He didn't think when the doctor said Woohyun will only see again if he got healthy eyes. The words just came out of his mouth easily. There was nothing to think about.

"I've been looking for something in my whole life that gives meaning to my existence," Sunggyu continued. "I wanted to be a singer because I wanted to share my feelings with the world. Now I want to sing to tell everyone how much I love you. I didn't hesitate. I was just afraid that it will be the last time I can see you." A sad smile sat on his lips. "I was selfish for a moment, you know? I didn't want to give up to see you. I didn't want that day to be the last one when I can see your face, your smile, the joy in your eyes. I wanted to see your face when I asked for your hand. I wanted you to be the first one I see every morning when I wake up. I didn't want to give up this. I've seen the world enough, there is nothing new to show me. But I haven't got enough of you yet. I haven't seen you enough. I hated myself that I had wasted so much time that I didn't devote more to watching you. I wanted to see your face on the top of the Eiffel Tower." The sobbing in Woohyun's chest didn't stop, the pain didn't leave, every word was another knife, another wound on his soul. The tears ran over his face and the hopelessness almost consumed him. "I wanted to see you in black suit at the altar when we get married, I wanted to see your smile, your happiness." Sunggyu bowed his head. "But I wanted you even more to see all of this. To see the Eiffel Tower, the sea, the sunset, the mountains. To see me, and know that I don't care if I'm blind." Sunggyu gently d at the nightstand, his fingers nicely sliding through it. He finally found what he was looking for. A tiny mirror that he now gave to Woohyun.

Woohyun's hand trembled, but took the mirror from Sunggyu, he thought he is able to see himself when he looked into it.

Pain broke out of Woohyun's throat. Sunggyu's once beautiful eyes were now blinking from his face. Those black glittering eyes, the lively fire Woohyun fell in love with was his now. Woohyun saw with the eyes he loved so much before. Woohyun saw with Sunggyu's eyes.

He closed his eyes, but his shoulder was shaking, his heart-tearing pain has not stopped.

"I'll see all of this," he promised quietly. "And I'll see them all with you. Then I'll tell you how it was. I'll tell you all that you will feel like you also see them. When you kneel in front of me, asking my hand," he whispered with a falling voice and grabbed Sunggyu's face into his hands "I'll tell you how happy I am and how y I am in a black suit before the altar."

Happy, really happy smile spread on Sunggyu's face.

"I'm not gonna waste the gift I got from you," Woohyun promised, Sunggyu's face as if the touch would heal the wound on his soul. Sunggyu raised his hand, his fingers hesitantly touching the boy's face. They touched his lips, nose, and eyes. Then he cautiously, gently the eyes that were once his.

"Please, take care of them" he whispered, then kissed Woohyun's face, filled with hot pain, guilt, bitterness and happiness.