Pathetic. That's how Sana describes herself.

She blames nothing but herself in this situation she's in. She gives nothing but receives something that she expected.

A fact that no one will ever care and love her.

Locking herself in her small, uncomfortable, cheap, rusty, rent room and crying for how many hours wasn't her thing but now she lives for it. She thinks it's the only way to let out the worries and stop the anxiety from growing too much.

But she is mistaken.

Sana's red eyes looks up to her dusty ceiling (hoping that every zombies, demons, and monsters would listen to her) and spoke her dying-repeated words,

"I had enough, pls just take and kill me."​​​​​

 

-

 

Sana never believes in love. She thought she had it when she was a little girl. She was the only child in her family. Even though they were a bit poor, they would always make sure Sana has anything she needs. But everything changes and Sana just wish that love itself was perfect.

She remembers that night when her own beloved father betrayed her. 

She was only 6 years old that time when she was heading downstairs when she heard and saw it. 

"I have a another child of another women's house. I am so sorry but--

Slap

"Get out now! You should be ashamed of yourself as man and as a father!"

Her mother said while crying. 

Her father left her without saying goodbye and her mother was crying loudly in the living room.

There she experienced her very first heartbreak. 

 

-

 

After the incident, her mother has gone crazy. Sana hears her crying every night and day. She tries to comfort her but it was no use. Her mother always push her away. 

There was one time her mother tried to commit suicide. Hooking up a rope in the kitchen but luckily Sana caught her before she could insert her head in the hole. 

She pulls her mother away from the rope and cries at her shoulder.

"What were you thinking? Why do you do that? Do you want to die?! Tell me! Just freakin tell me?! " 

Her mother just stood there lifelessly, hearing her daughter's cries and solemnly said, "Yes i do, what do you care? You're just a nobody."

​ Sana widen her tearful eyes but never let go of her mother's body, instead she tightens it and cried. Her mother kept on letting saying to let her go but she didn't. 

There Sana thought, "how could her own mother called her a nobody?" 

But deep down she hopes that it wasn't true. 

 

-

 

She was 14 when her mother died. It was due to depression. Sana's life was miserable when it happened. First her father betrayed her and then her mother left her but in all those trials she knows something was wrong. And it was definitely her that was wrong. Why did she exist? Was this all this destined to happen to her? Cause if it was then maybe she shouldn't be in this world. Because she is the burden of everything including her life.

Yet she still stayed positive. 

"Are you sure you wanted to go study there." 

She is with Hitomi, her friend. It was noontime and Sana shares her somewhat good news to her friend.

"Yes, I am certain about this."

Hitomi eyes her friend. She was amazed of how Sana changed from an innocent little girl to an independent teenager. They are in the cliff, enjoying the scenario where as the sun descends in the mountains. A perfect place for farewells.

Hitomi sighed and smiled. "Well then, it's your decision after all. Don't forget me okay? Friends forever?" She said as she raised her pinky toward Sana. 

Sana grins while raising her pinky to Hitomi and said, "Friends forever." 

 It must have been a while since she smiled. After all she had gone through a lot in her life, this was the first time she smiled. It was not because she was gonna make a promise or because it has been a long time she did it.

It was because she can feel it. The feeling of changing. She is very sure that this will change her life.

But little did she knew that this was gonna destroyed her maturity and heart. 

They both laugh at their silly act and bid their farewells. 

Sana took one glance at the sun and said, "Korea here I come!"

 

-

 

"I can't believe that you are leaving me here."

Her grandma said while crying. Well, she can't help it but to get emotional when her favorite grand-daughter is going to an another country to study when there are lot of schools here in osaka. 

Sana chuckles at her grandma. She is now organising her stuffs at her room and since she is staying in korea for like how many years till she graduate, she's gonna bring a lot of her things. When she is done sorting her luggages, she faces her grandma and gives her a hug. 

"Jeez, stop being such a crybaby. You're old now and you are still overreacting." Sana teases.

"You're the one whose overreacting! There are schools near here yet you choose the one that's far away and not to mention, on another country! "Her grandma snaps back. 

Sana sighed and face her grandma, "it's for the best and this school has big opportunities. Besides, this is the way for me to be independent. "

"Tsk, independent my !" Sana's grandma moves away from her and begins sulking.

Sana laughs at her grandma's antics and hugs her from behind. "Don't worry about me, I'll be fine and I won't be putting myself into those relationship thingy-thing. You know me, Family first than boyfriend commitments."

Then her grandma faces her with a smile and says, " I know I'm old but pinky promise? "Puts her finger between her grand-daughter's hands.

Sana puts a loving smile at her grandmother and says a word that is filled with sincerity, "I promise to contact you every week, do skype with you and focus on my studies and school stuffs."

Her grandmother smiles and got teary at her wannabe independent teenager and said, "Also promise to never forget me."

Sana hugs her and says, "I won't."

 

-

 

It was a long and tiring flight.

As soon as she step out of the airport, she feels a sudden rush of excitement and worry. Korea was truly beautiful. 

This was her first time to go on a country that has different languages and cultures. Sana admits she had never been to an another country before.

She closes her eyes says some motivational words to herself, "It doesn't matter, I'm going to do great in here! Consider Korea as my second home."

She has prepared a lot actually, going to korean clubs after her school, learning it's language, watching and listening to kdramas/kpops, and sometimes idolizing her favorite korean groups since she doesn't socialise that much. 

Sana with determined eyes looks up in the city before her and said, "Koko ni ikimasu!" and did a fist bump in the air.

 

Maybe this is it.

 

Maybe. 

​

-

 

 

~

Yoiiiiiiii 2na shippers ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

I am terribly sorry the long update. Got caught up in school but ain't no worries anymore cause school is done WHOHOOOOOO (for only 2 months so um yeah). 

Anyways, 2na will appear soon and sorry for the grammatical errors. (Too tired to change them) 

ByeBye Gays ❤️ ;-)