‘You’re going on another trip?’ I asked already knowing the answer. My small and fragile body stood in front of my parents who were about to exit through the front door. 

 

 

‘Yes dear.. we’ll be gone longer than usual this time too.’ My dad said placing one of her many luggages down to walk towards me. 

 

 

‘Can you.. get me a souvenir dad? I want a whole bunch of candy!’ Tugging on his shirt pleading for the promised sugary treat. 

 

 

‘Haha..’ My dad chuckled at the sight of my performance ‘fine, we’ll find some candy for you. Be a good girl and listen to your auntie and sister while we’re gone and don’t forget about your medication Sana.” 

 

 

I watched as parents left with the anticipation of the treats they were going to bring back, but just as I was about to fall asleep. I heard the noise of the TV being on. It was 12pm. The TV was usually only used during the day and it was never really on at night. I made my way out of my bed to find that Mina wasn’t in her room either. It was confusing. Why isn’t Mina asleep? and what is happening. 

 

 

I then noticed the living room door ajar with the TV light seeping out into the hallways. 

 

 

‘Breaking news: XXX Airways Flight [][][]…” slowly creeping closer to get a better hearing of the TV “Suddenly burst into flames and exploded during takeoff. No passengers or crew are expected to have survived.”

 

 

I felt the rush of realisation hit me as the last words were said and I could feel my heart tightening and contracting as I stood there dripping on to the stuffed bunny I didn’t know I had in my hands. 

 

 

'I don’t think we should let Sana know about this yet Auntie’ I heard Mina say hushed ‘The shock might make her condition worse. We should plan the funeral quietly… and find a way to break it to her in the next couple of months.’ 

 

 

I groaned waking up as my eye’s vision filled with light. “wa..ter please” My request had gained the attention of some people around me as I heard people bustling around. 

 

 

‘Heh, awake already you little brat?” Mina’s bob came into view “you sure looked real cozy there’ 

 

 

Annoyed at my sister’s provocation I sat up straight to prove a point. “What? how long was I out for? I’m hungry” I reached my arm out to grab my sister “Mina-ya i’m hungry!” 

 

 

Considering I was currently immobilised in a hospital bed, I put up a pretty good fight against my sister who countered my grab and made her way to ruffle my head. There was a lot of pillow throwing and slight kicking that it would have looked like a normal sibling quarrel if it weren’t for the sadness and worry I kept seeing in Mina’s eyes. 

 

 

“Don’t touch me!” I complained as I couldn’t muster enough energy to fight with her anymore causing her to only give a hearty laugh watching me helpless against her. 

 

 

———

 

 

‘Oh Doctor Im, You’ve been waiting outside the room this whole time?” Doctor Son walked out of Sana’s examination room ready to report new changes. 

 

 

I too was conflicted and unsure of why I was doing things like this so I decided to avoid the question. “What’s her condition?” 

 

 

“She was exhibiting some minor symptoms, nothing too serious just yet.” Doctor Son assured making sure to emphasise the yet. “But from what i’ve seen, she might been needing that heart transplant a lot sooner than expected.” 

 

 

It made sense. The symptoms were showing up more frequently than before and even though they were still minor, those symptoms will eventually increase to become something even we can’t treat without that transplant. 

 

 

I don’t have to be concerned about this.. She’s not even my patient. I reprimanded myself for acting like this as I realised how invested I was getting into this case. 

 

 

I need to let it do already… and stop sticking my nose in where it doesn’t belong. 

 

 

———

 

 

It was perfect, I had an 8 hour surgery to take my mind off of the case. Being in the surgery room always made me feel calmer. I don’t know what it was, but it was one of the places I felt at home. After completing the operation and tidying things up, I felt a little bit too grimy for my liking. It wasn’t necessary, but sometimes I like to take showers after my operations to let the heat soak in my tired body. 

 

 

The bathroom was communal, which mean’t that there were walls between each cubicle but not necessarily a door. I washed my hair (a golden experience as a doctor) with my back facing the nonexistent door and my chest facing the wall. 

 

 

“Whoa, so the Doctor Im really is taking a shower” Ryujin said from behind me wrapped in a towel  clearly with nothing underneath “Hmm… the smoothness of your skin is so tempting, I could get your back if you’d like” 

 

 

Ryujin was another one of my special friends. She was one of the most dependable ones I must admit. She always comes at the times where I’m in most need of distraction sometimes it scares me.  

 

 

“Don’t worry, we’ll be the only ones here for a little while.” Ryujin walked towards me and released her towel revealing her toned and slim body “You’re fine with a little company right?” 

 

 

Ryujin smirked as she made her way into my cubicle pressing her chest up against mine. I was being pushed back onto the cold tiled walls and felt her warmth all over the front of my body. “You’ve been looking really stressed lately” She whispered into my ear “I can help you relax..” 

 

 

It was an unspoken agreement. The moment that Ryujin had walked into the bathroom, we both knew that it was going to happen but for some unknown reason, I wasn’t as into the activity as I normally was. 

 

 

———

 

 

“Is that nurse your girlfriend?” Sana asked on a lollipop watching me do some paperwork in the open office. “Aren’t you going to give her some love? She looks like she’s really pinning for your attention.” 

 

 

“What do you mean?” I asked confused. I wasn’t in love with anyone. 

 

 

“Over there” Sana gestured turning her head in the direction to the three nurses gathered. one of them consisting Momo. “I’ve been watching her, she’s been looking this way every five minutes.” 

 

 

At that moment, Momo looked over in our direction once again and blushed upon meeting eye contact with me. Momo gave a small smile and a tiny wave as she went back to the people she was talking with. 

 

 

“No..” I said understanding where Sana was coming from “You’ve got it all wrong. I’m not with anyone right now.” 

 

 

“Whoa, hey you’re joking right? A badass like you?” Sana gasped upon realisation taking out the green lollipop from “But i’ve seen you flirting with her before! Draped all over each other like that… I was sure you two were dating this whole time…”

 

 

“Um” I muttered not wanting the conversation to continue “Anyway what are you doing here? This isn’t a place you should be waltzing your way into. People have jobs to do. Come on, I’m taking you back to your room.” I grabbed Sana’s arm pulling her into the direction of her room while she protested. 

 

 

“H-Hey.. let go of me!! I just wanted to walk around” Sana complained behind me “I wasn’t getting in anyone’s way! All I wanted to do was get a little exercise and some fresh air!” 

 

 

I let go of Sana’s hand only when we got into her room and turned around to face the unsettled girl trailing after me. I stood and watched as she reluctantly walked through the door grouchily. 

 

 

“You wouldn’t know how boring it is being coped up all day in a little white room like this anyway” Sana complained sprawling out on her bed “staying in bed, day after day… I want to check out the nurses too you know!” 

 

 

Sana sat up, her lollipop almost falling out as she spoke “”And to get to eat something other than hospital food for once..” I watched the scene unfold before me with Sana’s rant about her confined life until I noticed something which I caught on to much slower than I should have. 

 

 

I was worried. It shouldn’t be there, I don’t know where it came from but it was dangerous for Sana and I wasn’t going to take any more risks. Not after the rooftop. After regaining my composer, I hastily walked towards Sana determined to get rid of the possible danger. 

 

 

I kept my eye on it the whole time, making sure I didn’t lose sight of it. If I were to lose track of it, and it stays with her, Sana’s heart rate would most likely go up and it wasn’t the most ideal of situations. 

 

 

“Sana” I said gripping her shoulders tightly “Open your mouth”

 

 

Sana looked up at me confusion draped across her face “W-What?” The two were very close, almost inches apart and Sana had no idea as to what was happening. 

 

 

“Open it” I commanded annoyed with the lack of compliance reaching up to . I grabbed hold of the stick protruding Sana’s mouth and took out the green treat turning to face a scared and guilty looking Sana. 

 

 

“And where did you get this? This is nothing but sugar. You’re not supposed to eat anything other than what the nurses give you.” Reprimanding Sana waving the lollipop for emphasis. If Sana were to finish the whole bulb, there was no saying that she wouldn’t have had another heart attack due to the raised blood pressure. 

 

 

“Come on Doctor Im..” Sana complained trying to brush off her mistake “It’s just a lollipop and besides, If there is a convenience store downstairs, why can’t I use it?” 

 

 

Sana moved back on to the centre of the bed and sat cross-legged. “I’m so sick of all these rules. No this, no that… I’m starting to think this is more of a prison than a hospital.” Sighing, putting her hands back behind her to lean on them. “Why can’t I just live my life like everybody else?” 

 

 

At this I felt a little guilty. The hospital did have a lot more restrictions on Sana especially after her attack earlier. But as I went questioning why she couldn’t live a normal life, something sparked in my memory.

 

 

“If you really want a normal life as bad as you say you do” I looked at Sana straight in the eye making sure to keep her attention “Then you should sign the contract. Why are you refusing the operation when your name’s already on the waiting list? There’s a whole world outside the hospital full of things for you to learn and enjoy. Don’t you feel like you’re missing out?” 

 

 

It wasn’t as if I could ignore the tightening of Sana’s lips as she contemplated what I said or the loneliness I saw in her eyes. It was clear that it was something that Sana had already thought about more than enough. 

 

 

“Do you understand Doctor Im..” Sana looked up to mine with another one of her small smiles “That i’ve been through hospitals after hospitals my whole life? I was actually raised in Japan” Sana looked down to her hands. 

 

 

There weren’t any tears in Sana’s eyes, but for me it felt like Sana’s soul was crying out to me. “I moved here since the doctors over there couldn’t do anything for a girl my age. I’ve never had the chance to truly ‘live’ like the other kids… all of the few friends i’ve made i’ve left behind, and I always need someone to monitor and take care of me.” 

 

 

“It’s not that I don’t see the value of life.” Sana said as if releasing a weight off her own shoulders “It’s because I know how much it’s worth that i’m doing this. If it’s natures plan that i’m not strong or healthy enough to continue existing in this world… I might as well accept it and make the most of the time I do have left.” 

 

 

“I just don’t want to spend the rest of my days in a cycle of being confined to a bed or an operating table anymore.” Sana then glanced at me and gave me a smile more genuine than the last “But.. who knows? If it’s you then I might reconsider.” 

 

 

“Hm?” escaping my mouth as I was caught in shock. There was a possibility for Sana to agree to operation.. but it had to be me operating?

 

 

“If I agree to the transplant operation, will you be the one to do it?” Sana said looking out the window her back facing towards me. I could see the breeze flowing through her hair and I was awestruck at her beauty. How is someone so perfect in such an unfortunate situation? 

 

 

“That’s not my decision to make” I said regrettably “I’m not in charge of your case and technically even if you could ask for a different doctor.. I don’t see a reason why that would be necessary.” 

 

 

“Aw, that’s too bad then” Sana retreated back into her bubbly shell “I was just about to reconsider too” 

 

 

I watched as she put up her teasing front and deliberately pulled a sly face. “Y’know, I’ve heard… that doctors are constantly itching to operate. Is that wrong?” Sana made light mocking noises to push me to answer her question “Some doctors actually like to obsess over it too, what about you? Don’t you want to be my heart surgeon?” 

 

 

“Well, you got the part about me enjoying operating right” I said shamelessly “But I wouldn’t go so low as to swipe another doctor’s case from right under their nose. I’m not addicted to cutting people open. You make it sound so morbid.” It was a valid question, and I gave her an honest answer. 

 

 

It seemed as if Sana had accepted my answer and moved on without me as she changed the topic. “Doctor Son told me.. I’ll be free to go the day after tomorrow.” Sana said smiling. 

 

 

“That’s good then, make sure to take care of yourself at home.” I replied unsure of how I felt about not seeing her again for a while. But that dissipated when I heard her next question. 

 

 

“Once i’m out of here, if you’re not busy” Sana said rushing up to me like an excited squirrel “wanna try going out on a date with me?” 

 

 

It was unexpected of course, which is why I was able to give my general answer to any other questions like this. “No, I don’t do dates” 

 

 

“huuuuh? What is up with you?” Sana said dumbfounded as if she were the one with the higher degree “You really don’t have any sense for relationships Doctor. Well whatever, it doesn’t have to be a date, we could always just hang out together.” 

 

 

“Okay, okay fine” I laughed at her nonchalant ability to change between wanting to go on a date and then a hang out. “I’ll be sure to call you when I have a day off.” 

 

 

“Good, then Doctor Im could you lend me your phone?” Sana asked extending her hand

 

 

“Sure” I said not exactly sure why I was giving it to her “What are you going to do with it?” 

 

 

After a few moments later of Sana tinkering with a few taps on my phone, a phone rang in one of the pockets of her hospital gown as she took it out looking as if she achieved the impossible. 

 

 

“Hehe! All done” Sana grinned passing my phone back to me “Now, even if you forget about it, I can just call you myself!” 

 

 

We ended the conversation soon after that and I walked out of the room looking at my phone. There was one more contact to my phone book that I don’t know why, but left a special note in my heart. ‘Sana’ It read with a 1 minute ago sign. 

 

 

A date huh? 

 

 

It’s been a while since I last experienced one.. 

 

 

And decided that I would never again.

 

 

———

 

 

Exiting the operation room, I took of my hair cap exhausted. The cold hospital air hit me making me shiver in contrast to the sweat I just worked up while operating. It was another long one. My legs were aching and I felt like I couldn’t walk anymore. 

 

 

“Doctor Im, Here’s the patient’s chart the you asked for” A blushing nurse delivered to me

 

 

“Oh, Thank you very much” I said regretting my own actions of asking for more work for myself. I took the chart and was about to walk off to my office as I heard a familiar soothing voice. 

 

 

“Ahem.. I see you’re busy as always” the voice said as I turned around only to be stopped by the view that came into vision. Sana was standing in front of me with her usual hair tied in a pony and a floral outfit on. She wore a beige skirt that ended in the middle of her thigh and a pink blouse that had enough of a v-neck for me to see her collarbones with a white cardigan that framed her body well. 

 

 

“My sister’s come to pick me up, so i’m going to get going now” Sana said her whole embodiment screaming adorability “I just thought i’d come and see you before I left! And for the sandwiches too! Thank you for always looking after me.” 

 

 

Sana’s sincere appreciation for the little things that I did for her made me my chest feel a little light and cloudy as I watched her smile at me with her chipmunk like cheeks concaving up and down in accord to her smile. 

 

 

“Uh.. Sure” I barely managed to make out 

 

 

“Did I come at a bad time Doctor?” Sana asked worried that the Doctor was busy

 

 

“No.. no” I stopped her “I’m just not use to seeing you like this since you’re usually wearing scrubs” 

 

 

“Oh? So now that you see you adorable I really am..” Sana mischievously started “Is this enough to qualify me as a date?” 

 

 

I was blushing by now and it certainly had been an experience that I never thought I would ever again. Not after her. 

 

 

“Sana!” Mina yelled from the doorway holding a bag that I assumed had Sana’s belongings in “Let’s go! Uncle is waiting for us.