“You sure you want to keep your hair pink?” Vivi’s hairdresser asked, his eyebrows knitted together in worry. He ran his hand through Vivi’s recently-cut strands, making a displeased sound in the back of his throat. “If you keep dyeing it this much--”

“It’s okay,” Vivi said, with a tight-lipped smile, cutting off the warning she had heard a thousand times. “I like it pink.” A lie by omission.

It was her go-to answer for why she kept her signature hair colour, a simple smile with a matching simple answer to appease whoever asked, be it an interviewer or fan or in this case, a nosy hairdresser. The real reason was too shameful to admit.

Vivi’s eyes connected with his in the mirror. She could tell that he was still hesitant, but he eventually shrugged, letting her have her way with a “Your choice.”

As he collected the necessary dye from the tray on the trolley by his side, Vivi settled back into the comfort of the styling chair. With her movement, the cloth draped over her also moved, dragging her bracelet along with it, exposing the real reason she wanted to keep her hair colour.

Her soulmate mark.

Vivi’s eyes dropped down to her wrist, reading her mark over even though she had seen it every day of her life. The sight of it never failed to put a frown on her face, its grey colour almost mocking her.

Your pink hair suits you.

Was it sad that she kept her hair pink for a soulmate she would never meet?

Vivi didn’t know if it was naive optimism or denial that kept her from changing her hair colour, but it added to her self-loathing all the same. Surely, she was pathetic for believing there was someone out there who could love her.

He turned back around and Vivi pulled the cloth back over herself, hiding her mark as per usual. She didn’t want his pity. And whenever people saw soulmarks like hers - all faded and grey - they usually gave a pitying look, their lips pressing together and their eyes turning apologetic. She hated that look. Hated it more than anything.

She had caught a glimpse of his mark earlier on, its jet black ink staining his skin proudly. Back when she was a teenager, she might have envied him for it, but by now she had gotten used to it. It seemed like everyone but Vivi was normal, everyone but Vivi had someone to call their own. She had accepted that by now.

Still, she couldn’t help but wonder what it would feel like. He lived life with the knowledge that his soulmate was out there in the world, that one day he would meet someone that would be perfect for him - assuming he hadn’t met them already.

Vivi didn’t have that privilege. Not anymore.

Vivi’s soulmark was black once. At least, that’s what her parents had told her - a beautifully dark colour, just like the night sky. It had faded into the disappointing grey that it was now when she was only a toddler, too long ago for her to remember what it looked like.

Its colour wasn’t its only distinctive feature, however. It was written in a language she didn’t grow up speaking, letters she didn’t even recognise. As soon as she was allowed to, she tried to learn how to read the strange characters (hangul, she learned it was called) and spent most of her preteen years trying to perfect it.

The first time she had successfully read the words on her wrist, she was confused.

“My pink hair?”

Running her fingers through her hair, she wondered why her future self would choose to dye it such an outlandish colour. Sure, she liked pink, but not quite enough to douse her head in it.

Looking in the mirror, she tried to imagine what she would look like. With bright pink hair, a large smile on her face, and hopefully a taller stature after a growth spurt or two.

She even tried to imagine what her soulmate might be like. Would he be handsome and generous, the princely type who comes in on an elegant white horse, the kind of guy that all of her friends swooned over? Or maybe a ‘bad boy’ like she had seen in dramas, who forewent the white horse for a sleek motorcycle?

But try as she might, she couldn’t imagine her soulmate being a man. Any boy who would say “your pink hair suits you” as his first words seemed too sleazy for her liking.

Instead, her brain conjured up images of kind girls with pretty laughs, someone who would genuinely compliment her appearance with no ulterior motive. Someone nice and honest, someone who would love Vivi just as much as Vivi loved her. A girl she would be proud to call hers.

The thought of this dream girl made her feel giddy. She didn’t even know her - if they would even be a ‘her’ - but she knew that she couldn’t wait to kiss her, hold her in her arms, be with her in any sort of way.

After that, she spent her free time trying to learn Korean, in the hopes that she would one day use it to communicate with her soulmate. It was hard but the thought of conversing easily with a person she loved made it easier to spend her nights poring over the Chinese-Korean dictionary she had begged her parents for. She wasn’t allowed to stay up (losing sleep isn’t good for your health, her mother always said) but she risked getting scolded to practice it near-daily.

She had been caught once. She had fallen asleep in an uncomfortable position, the flashlight and open dictionary still in her hands. She woke to her father sitting on the edge of her bed, giving her that pitying look.

“Kahei,” he had said, his voice softer than usual, “you know how your soulmark is different from ours, right?”

She sat up quickly, confused as to why she wasn’t immediately being scolded for staying up late. “Yeah,” she said, “mine’s in a different language.”

“No, not that.” He held out his hand and she instinctively gave him her wrist. “I’m talking about its colour.”

She had never noticed it before but now that he had mentioned it, it was odd. All of her friends, her family, even passing strangers all had black marks. She could see his peeking out from underneath his sleeve, the very first words Vivi’s mother said to him.

“What about it?”

He sighed deeply, tracing the lettering of her mark with his forefinger.

“It means that your soulmate has either removed his mark or…” His sad expression deepened. “Or he’s dead.”

Her world shattered that night. Her father assured her that she could find love despite it, but it wasn’t the same. Any thoughts she had about someone perfect for her were gone.

Because they were dead. the universe didn’t care about how much she wanted to meet them, tore them away from her before she had the chance. The universe didn’t care about her childish dream of ‘the one’.

Or if there was a person left out there for her, they didn’t want her. They removed any trace of her from their wrist before she could even prove herself as worth loving.

She grew to hate the writing on her wrist - the very same writing which used to fill her with hope now only reminding her that she didn’t deserve love. Her dream of a perfect girl to love fizzled out as soon as it had formed.

She found another dream soon after.

A friend of hers found her Korean dictionary (at this point, it had been months since she last looked at it - the language only reminded her of the soulmate she’d never have) and excitedly showed her music videos from South Korea. Although uninterested at first, the bright colours, catchy lyrics, and fun choreography piqued her attention. At any rate, it distracted her from her soulmate, or lack thereof.

Eventually, Vivi realised that she wanted to become an idol. That way at least, Korean wouldn’t just be a useless skill she learned for someone she’d never meet. Those late nights spent learning the language wouldn’t go to waste.

Vivi left Hong Kong only a year later to pursue her dream in Seoul. Seoul was a difficult place, with the language barrier or without.

Not many companies would accept a ‘grey-mark’, she soon found out. There was a stigma around them, around her, because people saw them as defected, someone who didn’t deserve someone to love.

She auditioned what felt like countless times until she found a company that was willing to take a chance on her. To thank her company, she worked hard every day at practice until eventually, she debuted as Vivi.

As part of her contract, Vivi had to wear a mark-concealing bracelet whenever she was in public. In a way, the bracelet helped her. Instead of just hiding the mark from the public, she could hide it from herself.

Mark-concealing bracelets weren’t uncommon - in fact, most idols wore them. They had to. If an idol’s soulmark was leaked, there always seemed to be determined fans that would yell those words at them in the hopes of being their soulmate. But most fans respected idols’ privacy.

After debuting, life only became harder.

Back in Hong Kong, it was considered rude to ask about soulmates. Unfortunately for Vivi, this wasn’t the case in South Korea. It was apparently commonplace to ask idols about things like their ideal types and whether or not they had met their soulmates, whether they would retire if they did meet them. Vivi learned that the hard way, having received excessive attention, both positive and negative, after she let it slip that her mark was written in hangul.

It was a simple mistake - blurting out the reason why she decided to learn Korean after an interviewer complimented how well she read hangul.

After that, more and more questions came her way about her mark, until it seemed like that was all people talked about. Always being asked about a topic that was difficult for her to talk about quickly became suffocating.

One day, Vivi had stumbled on an inane article, accusing her of making the whole thing up to be better accepted by the Korean public.

Articles like that only ever made her angry, they never got anything correct, but Vivi still skimmed over its contents. Basically, they called it a “stunt orchestrated by her company to get more attention for her next comeback” - which was nonsense.

Afterwards, Vivi idly read the titles of the articles the website recommended to her.

Nothing caught her attention - it was just dumb dating rumours, uninteresting drama, and comeback announcements - until she saw the name of a rookie group she had never seen before.

“LOONA’s Haseul forever alone? Pictures show her blank wrist,” the title read.

Maybe it was just the image they used, but Vivi thought that this Haseul girl looked oddly familiar. This was strange as Vivi was sure she had never heard of LOONA before. Despite that, Vivi could have sworn had seen her somewhere before, like in a past life, or in a dream, or maybe they simply passed each other on a busy street.

Out of curiosity, Vivi clicked the link.

It wasn’t uncommon for idols to have no soulmarks (in fact, the stricter companies sometimes enforced their trainees to remove them) but it definitely was rare for smaller companies do the same. Even rarer still, the article showcased images of Haseul before her debut, implying that she never had a mark at all.

Vivi was relieved. This girl was just like Vivi, an anomaly. Someone who the universe didn’t have a perfect match for. This girl might understand how Vivi feels, might understand the loneliness in the knowledge that she was all alone in the universe, might understand the self-loathing and worry. She might understand even, the feelings that Vivi had never voiced aloud.

A quick search made it clear that other people too were curious about Haseul’s apparent lack of a soulmark. Some skeptics even believing that she removed it as a weird form of fanservice like some senior idols before her. Because it was impossible to be born without one, Vivi almost believed their claims. After all, it seemed improbable that she would discover someone who would understand.

But the more she learned about Haseul, the more she believed that Haseul wouldn’t, or better yet, couldn’t lie about such a thing. She seemed… too nice, too honest for such a thing.

To sate her ever growing curiosity, Vivi spent her night trying to find as much as she could about this captivating girl.

Going through their discography, Vivi found that her lips instinctively curled into a smile at Haseul’s voice. It was kind of uncanny, how her brain seemed to search Haseul out. Her favourite parts of the songs - the ones with the lyrics that get inexplicably stuck in her head - always ended up being Haseul’s lines. Her eyes naturally trailed to wherever Haseul was.

Eventually, Vivi fell asleep listening to their songs, Haseul’s voice in particular lulling her into the most peaceful rest she’s had in months.

By some of luck, Vivi’s next comeback coincided with LOONA’s.

Her company thought it was bad luck - after a successful debut, LOONA had been gaining popularity fast - and they worried about how Vivi’s record sales would fare comparatively. But to Vivi, it was more like a blessing.

Vivi’s whole adult life had been filled with shame due to her ‘grey-mark’ status, the bracelet weighing heavy on her wrist. Still, she held tight to the hope that someone, anyone, might take a chance on her just as her company had. Maybe her father was right. Maybe there was someone out there who she could fall in love with, soulmarks and fate be damned.

And if it had not been for the flawless timing of their comebacks, she might not have met Yves. Sooyoung.

They met backstage at a music show. Then at another. Then another.

Sure, it struck Vivi as odd that Sooyoung never seemed to be around her bandmates until they needed to be on stage, but she didn’t question it. Spending practically all your time with people you work with could be exhausting after all.

Soon, Vivi came to expect and even look forward to their little meetings. Vivi would anticipate the charming way Sooyoung would bow and greet her, and delude herself into thinking that her quickened heartbeat whenever Vivi saw her meant that she was falling in love.

Sooyoung was a breath of fresh air. Sooyoung didn’t care about Vivi’s soulmark, didn’t give her that pitying look when Vivi pulled up her sleeve and showed her, didn’t ask any more questions than Vivi was comfortable with. Sooyoung showed Vivi something she thought was impossible: happiness without a soulmate.

Sooyoung had a very different view of soulmates than Vivi. To Vivi, the idea of a perfect person being fated for you was a dream. To Sooyoung, it was a nightmare. She was the type who wanted to forge their own path, the type to resent destiny. She hated the idea that her future was planned out for her, ignoring the black words on her wrist for the sake of personal choice. And apparently, she had chosen Vivi.

Vivi tried to do the same, tried to ignore that the writing on both of their wrists didn’t match the first words they said to each other. She tried to ignore the little voice in the back of her mind telling her that it was wrong, that by doing so she was helping Sooyoung betray her soulmate.

Around Sooyoung, Vivi could laugh and talk freely, not worrying about silly things like fate. The other girl’s presence was comforting and Vivi appreciated every moment of their short meetings. It was nice. It was almost love.

So when Sooyoung invited her on a date, Vivi said yes. When Sooyoung leaned in and kissed her afterwards, Vivi kissed back. And when paparazzi snapped a few pictures of them together and released them to the public, Vivi didn’t even mind.

The rumours, on the other hand, she definitely minded. There was speculation on if the two of them were dating or just friends, if they were soulmates. It was sort of funny in a sad way. A soulmate-less anomaly and a skeptic together.

One day, Sooyoung invited Vivi to meet her members. Vivi was surprised. For one, Sooyoung didn’t seem very close to them - odd because most of them were the same age. And secondly, it seemed too serious of a step for their stage in the relationship.

Vivi was slightly worried, but she agreed to it nonetheless. Some small part of Vivi’s mind was itching to meet Haseul, though Vivi still didn’t understand why.

They planned to meet backstage at one of LOONA’s concerts, both agreeing that Vivi being caught anywhere near LOONA’s dorm would be bad for both of their careers. So she sneaked out of her own dorm room, hiding her face in a mask and her pink hair in an inconspicuous hoodie. She had been running a little late, and in her rush she forgot to put on her bracelet.

By now, their manager could recognise Vivi even with the mask covering her. With a smile, he let her in immediately, handing her a pass which has ‘STAFF’ proudly emblazoned on the front.

“Sooyoung’s been talking about this all day,” he told her. “I hope you stick around. She’s been really happy lately.”

Hearing that should have made Vivi glad, but it was all she could do to put on a fake smile.

She made her way down to their dressing room after shooting a quick text to Sooyoung that she had arrived. The mask was slightly suffocating her and the sleeves of her hoodie were constricting her arms so once she was inside the small room and sure that no one could catch her, Vivi pulled off her mask and took her hoodie off.

As Vivi turned around from the door, she caught eyes with Haseul, who was as beautiful and enchanting as she was in the videos. She seemed to already be dressed in their stage outfit, her heels and dress similar to the one she wore in their most recent music video.

Before Vivi had the chance to introduce herself, Haseul smiled softly and said the words Vivi never expected to hear.

“Your pink hair suits you,” Haseul said.

The second the words escaped into the air, Vivi felt her wrist burn as if she touched a hot stove, the writing on her skin heating up until it hurt.

But more important than the pain, Vivi felt a rush of elation. She had a soulmate!

Vivi had lived all of her adult life believing that there was no one out there destined for her, but this girl - this beautiful, talented girl had proven that wrong with a single sentence. It was... sort of terrifying.

The fear of ‘what if?’ gnawed at her. What if she wasn’t Haseul’s soulmate? What if she had been destined for someone who could never love her back?  And what about Sooyoung, who had been nothing but kind and good to her? What would happen to their budding relationship? Could Vivi really just cast her off to the side just because she met the one she was meant for?

“Oh, ,” Vivi muttered underneath her breath, her words slipping back into Cantonese due to her surprise.

Haseul’s eyebrows furrowed. Almost immediately, she started to rub at her wrist. Vivi was surprised to see that although her wrist was blank, her skin was reddening just like Vivi’s was. Oh. Oh.

“What’d you just say?” Haseul asked, that look of confusion not leaving her face.

“I--”

Sooyoung barged in before Vivi could say anything more. Upon seeing Vivi, she burst into a wide grin.

“Vivi-unnie,” she called out, her arms gesturing to the two girls who came in after her, “this is Yerim and Jinsoul. And… oh, I see you’ve already met Haseul.”

“Uh, yeah,” Vivi said. Wow, eloquent.

Vivi tried to act as if her whole life hadn’t just shifted in front of her, bowing and greeting the two as if it were just another day. It was oddly easy. Both Jinsoul and Yerim were easy to get along with, eager to start chattering on about how excited they were for their concert.

The conversation flowed naturally, as if both Vivi and Haseul had forgotten what had just happened.

“Jinsoul, your soulmate’s coming to the show tonight right?” Haseul asked. Vivi was surprised to hear the voice coming from so close to her, but she tried to not let that surprise show on her face.

“Yep!” Jinsoul said excitedly. “Oh, and she’s bringing some of her friends. Apparently, one of them really wanted to see Sooyoung again.”

In her peripheral vision, Vivi could see Sooyoung tense up.

“Oh, that’ll be fun,” Sooyoung said, her voice sounding more uninterested than Vivi had heard it before.

Sooyoung slid her hand down Vivi’s arm and interlocked their hands. It was a sweet gesture, but as Sooyoung’s hand held hers, Vivi could only think about how cold her fingers were, how jarringly different it felt to that heat that Haseul’s mere words provided.

It had never bothered Vivi before, but now it was just a reminder of how incompatible they were. Both of them tended to have cold hands, so when they held hands the cold feeling was felt doubly. As soon as their hands made contact, Vivi had to resist the urge to pull back.

Feeling a little awkward, Vivi wordlessly watched as Haseul’s eyes drifted down to gaze at their connected hands. Haseul’s gaze looked almost envious. Or maybe that was just Vivi’s hopeful imagination. After all, If Vivi were in her position and she had to watch Haseul hold hands with someone else, she would have hated it.

Wait, no. Haseul’s gaze wasn’t on their hands, her eyes focused slightly above them. It was on her wrist. On the grey words Haseul herself had said only moments ago.

Oh, .