Haseul had always adored the concept of soulmates. 

The idea of a guaranteed, perfect love - she must have cried because of at least a thousand dramas and movies focused around that premise. That being said, she never felt sad that she didn’t have a mark of her own. After all, Haseul had never had one. How could she miss something she never had?

However, Haseul would be lying if she said she had never looked at her wrist and wished that something, anything, would be inked there. There were times when such thoughts would enter her mind, but those were few and far between.

Like when her high school crush confessed to her. Haseul was excited - halfway to saying yes, but then he told her that it was only because the first words she said to him happened to be the words on his wrist. 

It crushed her. 

Haseul had felt obliged to tell him that she didn't have a mark and therefore had to deny him - unless he was willing to date her even though they weren't soulmates. She'll never forget how his face reddened with both anger and embarrassment - how he spat out his next words and left her there, bewildered.

 "You could've just said no. You didn't have to be a and lie about it."

Dejected, sure, but not sad.

And when she debuted, the rumours and general disbelief about her were also annoying, to say the least. No one believed her when she said she never had a soulmark - disregarded all the pictures proving her right and slandered her on every forum and website imaginable. 

It hurt, but Haseul knew there was nothing she could do to change their minds.

Her lack of a soulmark also made it difficult to relate to her members. She couldn’t quite understand the disappointment they felt when the first words their crush said to them didn’t match their mark, couldn’t understand why some - like Yerim - were nothing but excited, while others - namely, Sooyoung - resented the idea wholeheartedly. 

Whenever the girls came to her with worries, asking for advice, she wished she had a soulmark so she could give it. In times when she was overly hard on herself, Haseul would berate herself for being a lousy leader, for not understanding their problems, for not being able to help.

As Haseul gazed at her reddened skin, she couldn’t help but wish it again. As if by sheer want she could somehow make ink appear on her wrist. Ink spelling out… whatever the hell Vivi had said to her moments ago. 

Vivi. Haseul had only just met her but the girl was already stuck on her mind. 

Vivi. A girl Haseul really shouldn’t catch feelings for. 

Vivi. Sooyoung’s girlfriend. 

Haseul had seen firsthand how happy Sooyoung had been these past few weeks, her happiness caused by none other than the pink-haired girl Haseul couldn’t get out of her head. Of course she felt guilty. If Vivi were Haseul’s soulmate like she hoped she was, Haseul would be robbing Sooyoung of a source of happiness.

So Haseul pushed down her hopes, refusing to believe that she had found her soulmate. Maybe the beautifully silver words on Vivi’s wrist was nothing more than a coincidence.

Maybe Haseul was alright with that being the case.

Vivi apparently thought the opposite.  

Glancing down at the sandwich she had just, Haseul noticed a piece of paper wedged between the top slice of bread and the lettuce. Curious, she plucked it out gingerly and was surprised to find a phone number in cutely neat handwriting.

Haseul scanned the room in an attempt to figure out who had placed the note there. Her eyes met with Vivi’s, who immediately turned away when she realised that Haseul had caught her staring.

Haseul couldn’t help the smile that made its way onto her lips at Vivi’s cheeks reddening. She added the number to her contacts, ignoring the envy bubbling in her chest at the sight of Sooyoung’s arm around Vivi’s waist. 

This is enough for now, Haseul thought, her thumb idly wiping where Vivi’s words should have been.

Staring at the bright screen of her phone, Vivi bit her lip as she read the text over again. Her thumb tapped away at the screen, deleting the response she had typed out.

{Haseul: Want to meet up?}

A simple question. But Vivi couldn’t for the life of her figure out what the right answer would be. 

The answer was yes. 

Yes, Vivi wanted more than anything to see her again, to talk for hours, to learn about and appreciate everything Haseul was.

The answer was so 100%, so completely yes that it almost terrified her.

Because on the one hand, it made sense. Sooyoung had been so eager for Vivi to meet and make friends with her bandmates. Meeting up could just be a step towards befriending them. After all, if this relationship with Sooyoung was to go any further, Vivi would see her bandmates often. It would be beneficial for everyone if they got along, right? 

But the words on Vivi’s wrist warned her that they might get along too well.

And Sooyoung deserved better than that. Vivi couldn’t just use her as some sort of stepping stone, some girl to pass the time until she met her soulmate. Sooyoung deserved someone that genuinely cared about her, that could be satisfied to wake up next to her every day. And Vivi was fine being that girl.

Vivi had wanted for a soulmate her entire life. And now that she had found her, Vivi was at a crossroads. 

Being with Sooyoung was fine. Vivi really did like her. Days were always a little easier when Sooyoung was around. She made Vivi smile. When the pressure on her got to be too much, Sooyoung provided much-needed comfort. Vivi was alright with settling for fine.

But despite a very prominent part of Vivi’s brain telling her not to, her thumb pressed send.

{Vivi: sure.}

They made a plan to meet in a small coffee shop not too far from Vivi’s apartment. 

It was one of Vivi’s favourite spots, mostly because it wasn’t too popular. Not many people came in - a plus because getting recognised would be a hassle, especially today. After all, her relationship with Sooyoung was well-known by now. The situation would only worsen if people saw her with Haseul and made up some ridiculous story about how Vivi was going through the LOONA members one by one. 

Once Haseul walked in, their eyes met and she waved to Vivi with an infectious smile on her face. Vivi tried to ignore the affection blossoming in her chest, tried to keep it as friendly as possible when she told Haseul to sit down and order.

Conversation started smoothly, much smoother than Vivi had anticipated.

To her amazement, Haseul seemed genuinely interested in getting to know her and becoming friends - something Vivi also wanted.

She told Vivi about her childhood and where she grew up, the little differences between her hometown and Seoul. Everything Haseul shared was personal - Vivi felt like she learned a lot about her, past the usual things you might tell an acquaintance.

Vivi tried to do the same, wanting - for some inexplicable reason - to bare her soul to the other girl. It felt odd, wanting to connect with someone this much, but it also felt right.

She talked about how hard it was to get used to life in Seoul, how lonely she got promoting alone.

Haseul shocked her by listening intently to every single word. She gasped and teared up at all the right times, even putting her hand on top of Vivi's at particularly saddening parts. As if she was telling Vivi that she didn't have to feel so alone anymore.

Vivi always found it difficult to share personal things with strangers. She struggled through every interview she got. Still, it was surprisingly easy to confide in and reveal herself to Haseul. There was something in the other girl that made her easy to trust. 

During one of her stories, Vivi let it slip that part of her reason for moving was because of her soulmark. She hesitated, wondering if they were finally going to address the elephant in the room - the fact that Haseul could be (and probably was) her soulmate.

Much to her surprise, Haseul didn’t ask about her soulmark. 

Instead, Haseul shifted the conversation. She shared stories of her trainee hdays, of injuries and hard times that Vivi could relate to all too well - having gone through similar things in her own trainee period.

"It might sound silly to you," Haseul started, before pausing with a laugh, "but I was really homesick back then. I still get homesick a lot these days."

"Why would it sound silly?" Vivi asked, confused at how embarrassed Haseul seemed to be about her admission. 

"Well, it's not like my hometown's as far as Hong Kong."

Eventually, the staff asked them to leave to make room for other customers, saying that they had been there for too long. Looking down, Vivi saw how their drinks and snacks were long gone. It surprised her - it hadn’t felt like much time had passed at all.

They met up again. And again. 

Eventually, their meetups became the best part of Vivi's week. They were something to look forward to after tedious schedules. It was one of the things Vivi could count on. Interviewers always asked the same inane questions, stylists always pushed the same boring pieces onto her, and Haseul always made her smile.

With Vivi’s growing feelings, it became harder and harder to lie and say that she was content with just being friends. Harder to say that these outings were nothing more than harmless hangouts. Vivi found herself making excuses to see Haseul, taking time out of her busy schedule to visit even when she had never done the same for Sooyoung.

By the time two months had passed this way, Vivi couldn’t deny it anymore. She had fallen for her soulmate.

Sooyoung was a good girlfriend - if she could even be called that. They had never clarified what they were to each other, both too busy with their careers to really commit. 

Still, being with Sooyoung was fun. Definitely more exciting than any of Vivi’s past relationships had been. So Vivi tried to ignore her and Haseul's undeniable chemistry, a task which had become increasingly difficult as the days went on.

Sitting on the couch in the living room of Sooyoung’s dorm, Vivi idly fidgeted with her bracelet. Neither of them were paying much attention to the movie they had put on, Vivi noted. 

Vivi reached over to the bowl of popcorn on Sooyoung’s lap, stopping in her tracks when she saw Sooyoung’s phone light up. 

She stayed stock-still, quietly watching how a faint smile graced Sooyoung’s lips as she read over whatever came on her phone. Curiously, once Sooyoung realised she was smiling, it was replaced by a half-hearted grimace. 

Sooyoung put her phone back down without answering, and Vivi - thinking the odd situation was now over - finally grabbed the handful of popcorn she was reaching for. 

But it wasn’t the end of it. 

Another text popped up, and the phone lit up again. Vivi was getting tired of pretending that she didn’t notice how Sooyoung kept looking over to it, how Sooyoung’s hand went to grab it but stopped halfway as if unsure.

“Who is it?” Vivi asked faux-nonchalantly.

“Some girl," Sooyoung simply stated. When she looked over and saw that Vivi wasn't satisfied with the bland answer, she sighed. “She says she’s my soulmate.”

“Well, do you believe her?”

“No,” Sooyoung said, her voice firm. If Vivi didn’t know any better, she would have thought that Sooyoung was telling the truth - but (hiding her hope)“It’s probably just another false alarm.” 

Vivi understood Sooyoung's apprehension towards soulmates. After all, she'd been burned before with others claiming to be her soulmate. It was one of the dangers of being a celebrity with a revealed soulmark. 

In the corner of her eye, she watched as Sooyoung's phone lit up once more.

Sooyoung rolled her eyes, letting out a "so annoying", but Vivi knew she didn't mean it. After all, if Sooyoung hated it this much, why did she hesitate to press 'do not disturb'?

“What if she is?" Vivi insisted. "I know you don’t really believe in that stuff but...” 

“But?”

“But if she annoys you so much and you don’t believe she’s your soulmate, why’d you give her your number?”

“I dunno.” Sooyoung shrugged. “I sorta felt bad. She seemed really excited to meet me, but I-” she hesitated, trying to figure out her next words. “I didn’t want to let her down. The thought of hurting her makes me feel like , and I have no clue why.” 

Vivi’s never seen Sooyoung care this much about hurting someone. In her experience, Sooyoung was the type to say what she wants regardless of other people’s feelings.

“If there’s even a chance she is your soulmate, you should try. Even if it’s another false alarm. 

A pause. “But what about us?” Sooyoung said, surprising Vivi with how meek and unsure she sounded.

“Sooyoung, I like you. A lot. And it’s because I like you that I want you to try. I’ve never seen you care so much about anything and this girl--” Vivi trailed off. “Maybe she'll be better for you than I could ever be.”

"You're right." Sooyoung nodded after a sigh. “You know, you should try as well.”

Vivi was taken aback. “What are you talking about?”

“I’m not blind, you know,” Sooyoung said, rolling her eyes good-naturedly. "I see the way you look at our beloved leader.”

Vivi felt her cheeks heating up at the implication. She didn’t know that her feelings for Haseul were that obvious. Still, she was relieved that Sooyoung wasn’t angry about it -  calm enough to make a teasing joke out of their messy situation.

“Honestly, it hurt when I figured it out. I spent so many nights wondering why I wasn't enough for you. But… I get it now.” A small smile grew on Sooyoung face as she kept talking. “We can’t choose who we fall for.” 

Vivi agreed. “Yeah, I guess we can’t.”

“For a while, I really wanted you to choose me. But I think, deep down, I always knew you’d already made your choice.”

“And?” Vivi pressed. “What do you choose?”

“Just for once, I think I’ll choose fate."

Sooyoung looked down and traced her pitch-black mark - the one she didn’t even bother hiding anymore.

You look so beautiful I forgot what I was going to say. 

“Your soulmate really has a way with words, huh?”

“I told you, I don’t know for sure if she’s my soulmate.”

“But you want her to be,” Vivi observed, “right?”

Sooyoung was silent, but her lips curving into an even wider smile was all the answer Vivi needed. It was sweet - the way this mystery girl seemed to have such an effect on the usually unswayable girl. Vivi knew that Sooyoung cared for her, but never like this. Not enough so that a mere mention of her would get Sooyoung so smiley.

Vivi was curious to find out more about this mystery girl - figure out what about her Sooyoung liked so much.“Tell me about her.”

“No.” 

“C’mon,” Vivi pestered, nudging Sooyoung’s shoulder. “You know you want to tell me.”

“I said no,” Sooyoung said firmly, pretending to be stern.

“But, Sooyoung,” Vivi continued to whine, “you already know all about the girl I like-- you’re being unfair!”

“Yeah, well, you’re being childish.”

“Childish?” Vivi scoffed, acting offended, “I'm older than you.”

“Act like it, grandma.”

With that, Vivi attacked, digging her fingers into Sooyoung’s sides, right above her hips where she knew Sooyoung was ticklish. At first contact, Sooyoung burst into giggles, her arms flailing as she tried to push Vivi off.

“, stop!” Sooyoung struggled out between her bouts of laughter. “It’s starting to hurt, seriously stop!”

Sooyoung sounded genuinely hurt and her face was crumpled up in pain so Vivi was afraid that she had gone too far. “, I’m sorry--” 

Once Vivi started to back off, Sooyoung’s pained act was gone and she pounced on the older girl. Sooyoung must have misjudged the space between them because she fell forward a little too far - just barely catching herself with her hands on either side of Vivi’s head.

“Whoops,” she said, still panting from the overexertion of laughing so much.

Vivi chuckled lightly, happy they were still comfortable around each other after they decided not to date anymore. “If you just wanted to get on top of me again, you could have just asked,” she joked, making Sooyoung let out a burst of laughter.

It felt nice, knowing that their split wouldn’t affect the friendship they had developed.

The nice feeling didn’t last for long, not when Vivi’s favourite voice spoke.

“Having fun?” Haseul asked, forcing a smile when Vivi tilted her head to look at her.

“Uh--”

Haseul’s eyes flashed with something Vivi couldn’t place - something between envy and betrayal. “I’ll be in my room.” Just as quickly as she had appeared, Haseul her heel and made her way down the hallway to her room.

The hurt on Haseul’s face - in that brief moment, Vivi understood what Sooyoung was saying not too long ago. Hurting her felt like , it pierced her heart with such intense guilt that she was frozen in place. She didn’t know what to do.

Thankfully, Sooyoung seemed to. She pushed Vivi to where Haseul had gone.

“Go on,” she told the still-frozen older girl, “go get her.”