A heavy sigh of frustration fell from Jonghyun’s lips after a long long and eventful day. A day, filled with many surprises, but also things which shouldn’t surprise him anymore. That and love was a very popular topic among teenagers wasn't much of a surprise to him, but never in his life did he imagine to be such an outsider, to feel so ill whenever the topic of uality and ual as well as romantic encounters arises.
Jonghyun felt drained, tired to the point where he was barely able to stay awake, but too hurt to fall asleep. He felt restless, but in so much need of rest and he knew not even the highest amount of sleep he could get would make him feel any better. No, this state of discomfort was constant and he didn’t know what to do about it. Was he really so weird? Was his desire and all the little things which were so important to him really so out of the norm? Was his love for platonic love really such a strange thing? He felt horrible.
That day was meant to be a great day, but it was one of the worst in so long. His best friend Taemin celebrated his 19th birthday and the two and some of their friends as well as people Jonghyun had never met before went out to eat something and to drink afterwards. Typical, nothing exciting, but nevertheless was it supposed to be a space for everyone to feel safe and happy.
Sadly, that wasn’t the case for Jonghyun once everyone started talking about things he.. well... never experienced before. He was silent all this time, taken aback by all these stories each of the others were telling, overwhelmed by the amount of knowledge and laughter that echoed through the bar. Jonghyun felt sick to the stomach as he listened to some of the rather personal, intimate and harsh things some of the boys were saying, not feeling particularly good about being a part of that conversation, though he hadn’t said a word the whole time. That was the case until one of the other guys pointed out that Jonghyun hasn’t said anything the whole time, ignoring the fact that the latter was obviously feeling extremely uncomfortable, what his friend Taemin noticed, too. Thing was, Taemin knew about Jonghyun’s differences when it came to love and ual interest and Jonghyun didn’t know whether it was Taemin’s usual ignorance or the alcohol which drove him to speak about Jonghyun’s personal matters in his name, poorly explaining his friend’s feelings.
Jonghyun felt like crying, he could feel his cheeks and eyes burn as Taemin revealed his secret.
“Oh, don’t mind him, I don’t know why, but he doesn’t feel like having at all. Weird huh? Like what the . So you all know he’s... well..” Taemin chuckled while looking at Jonghyun’s face, embarrassment written all over it, what he simply chose to ignore.

Jonghyun pressed his lips together, burying his face more into his pillow, a few tears escaping his eyes and dripping onto it as he remembered that moment which happened just a few minutes ago. Yes, a few minutes, because he couldn’t take the laughter, the stupid and mean comments, the way they were making fun of him for being a . He couldn’t stand it, he felt heartbroken, betrayed and didn’t know what to do. Should he not be friends with them anymore and become a total loner? Should he pretend this never happened? Could he even do that? No, probably not. So all that he could do was cry and feel stupid, even worse than before. He always struggled so much when it came to his uality and behaviour towards whoever he liked. As if that wasn’t enough already...
He wished with all his heart to be like the others, he wanted it more than anything else. He just wanted to love and be loved and to have and not feel bad only thinking about it. Why did he have to be that way? Why him? Why couldn’t he just...

“Hm.” Jonghyun grumbled as he felt and heard his phone vibrate. Oh no.. He felt his guts tighten as fear rose in his chest. He knew the way he left was kind of overdramatic and that his reaction was probably super funny to the others. Who else should write him at around 3 in the morning? It had to be one of them.. but..
Jonghyun stared at his screen in disbelief as he saw that an unknown number had sent him a message, a message which stated who this number belonged to and it was a little too surreal for him.
‘Hey, I don’t know if you remember me. I’m Kibum, the guy with the red shirt, Minho’s friend. I hope you feel alright. You seemed really upset and I wanted to ask if it’s ok to come over? Do you want to talk? I know we don’t know each other, so no stress. In case that you are already sleeping, good night. I hope next time we can get to know each other better :)’
Jonghyun rubbed his eyes in confusion, but mostly to get rid of the tears which blurred his sight as he was reading. Kibum? Wanted to come over? The Kibum from tonight? The Kibum who Jonghyun thought looked super cute, too handsome, really beautiful? That guy he felt too shy to talk to wanted to talk to him? Jonghyun’s head felt heavy and mind foggy. That wasn’t real... Also, he wanted to come over that late at night... Would he want to.. what did he mean by talking? Did he even listen to what Taemin said earlier?
Jonghyun really didn’t understand what was happening, but his fingers were already typing an reply, not a ‘no’, not any polite rejection, no ignoring... No, he very desperately typed in his address and told Kibum that he did remember him and felt really bad and thought his offer was really sweet.There was no real thinking, he felt like he had to, he couldn’t say no to Kibum and if the latter had the wrong idea of Jonghyun then happens. It wouldn’t have been the first time for Jonghyun to disappoint someone and scare them away by telling them that he wanted nothing more than a platonic, romantic relationship without any ual encounters whatsoever.

Minutes and minutes passed until suddenly Jonghyun jolted awake, wondering what was happening. He fell asleep waiting for the beautiful stranger to arrive.

Quickly he jumped out of his bed and made his way to the front door, his heartbeat quickening and nervousness arising. He still had no idea what to expect and never ever experienced such a behaviour from someone he knew. There was never someone noticing that he was feeling bad and actually caring enough to offer a few minutes of company. He had good friends and talked about struggles, sure, but not in that kind of way. He never had a guest over at 3 am to cheer him up. Who was Kibum and why was he like that, although they didn’t know each other?

Jonghyun would find out all that in just a few moments as Kibum suddenly stood right in front of him, a smile grazing his lips and his hands were awkwardly playing with each other. Quite shy, thought Jonghyun, it didn’t exactly fit to what he was expecting.

“Hey.” The stranger spoke softly, a hint of insecurity audible in his deep voice, a melody that made Jonghyun’s heart tingle. It really doesn’t help that Kibum is so handsome, Jonghyun thought with his eyes glued to the other’s face, unable to speak, because what was he supposed to say?
“Do you still want me to be here? Do you still want to talk?” A sigh fell from Jonghyun’s lips as these questions were asked. Did he? Well, kind of, but...
“Isn’t this weird?” Jonghyun asked back, nibbling on his lower lip and sighing once more, not seeing the comforting smile on the lips of the beautiful boy in front of him as his eyes were fixed somewhere on the floor.
“Is it? I’d call it unusual maybe, but not weird.” The soft voice spoke again, sending shivers down Jonghyun’s spine additionally to the slightly colder breeze entering his very small apartment.
Unusual, yes,  that was fitting, too.

With stepping aside, Jonghyun welcomed Kibum wordless and the latter seemed to understand quickly. With yet another one of his charming smiles playing on his lips, he entered the flat and pulled off his shoes and jacket which Jonghyun took from him to hang to the others.
 “My room is the first one on the left.” He explained. “I mean, my bedroom... I mean, the only real room. Sorry, my apartment isn’t very big. I hope it’s not bothering you.” Jonghyun spoke nervously, closing the door behind the seemingly very sweet guy he just invited over to.. freaking talk. Jesus, he is so weird.
He heard Kibum chuckle as he entered the room he was taking about before a slightly more faint voice reached his ears.
“I’m not here to judge you, I hope to comfort you...” He said and Jonghyun saw him sit down at the edge of his bed, the only real place to sit. “Is it okay if I sit here or should I sit on the floor?” He asked and it almost seemed like he too was awkward and nervous, because of the happenings.
“It’s fine, make yourself comfortable.” Jonghyun said, smiling, but not noticing. He walked into the dimly lit room, sitting down next to the stranger on his bed who then had his legs crossed, watching Jonghyun as he got into bed and pulled the still warm blanket over his legs.
Awkward it was indeed. For a short while none of them spoke, but it was obvious that Kibum thought about it, he just didn’t know how to start.
“You know I am kind of concerned about our friends’ behaviour. I didn’t find it necessary to talk about your preferences like that and I wanted to let you know that you don’t have to feel bad for it. I feel like, none of the others is going to apologize and I hope you know that you don’t have to feel weird about being you.” Kibum then spoke with his ever so soft voice, just listening to it was comforting, but the things he had told Jonghyun, his point of view about the topic and the situation.. Jonghyun suddenly didn’t feel so lost in this world anymore.
As much as he wanted to say more, only a simple ‘thank you’ was able to flee from his tightly sealed mouth. In some way he didn’t feel comfortable with Kibum knowing so much about him, but instead of joking about his problems and concerns like the others always did, this individual decided to listen closely, to wonder, to be silent and accept without seemingly judging. He has such a pure aura Jonghyun pointed out in his head, allowing himself to relax and just let things happen.
Then Kibum spoke again, his fingers playing with the hem of his pants. “I know we don’t know each other much or almost at all, but I w