Chanwoo couldn't sleep. Everything that happened last night has been haunting him. He looked at Jinhwan who was refusing to loosen his tight embrace on him. He looked very exhausted. Well, of course he was. He has spent the whole day crying.. because of him. Chanwoo sighed at that thought. He hurt someone just because of his recklessness. He shouldn't have fell for Yunhyeong. It was a mistake. No, maybe Chanwoo was only caught up in the moment. He loves Jinhwan and it should be only him.. right?

He doesn't know. Jung Chanwoo doesn't know his own feelings, pathetic. He doesn't deserve to have both of them. He should just not make things complicated between them.

Chanwoo sighs in frustration. Feeling the movement Chanwoo made, Jinhwan held the younger tighter and snuggles his head deeper to Chanwoo's chest. Chanwoo smiled at him and his back showing the older that he's right there with him. He looks peaceful, finally not having to think about the mess he made. Chanwoo is thankful for that.

Chanwoo thinks hours have passed by. He didn't get to keep time from all the thoughts he has in his mind. So when the alarm goes on, Chanwoo panicked and searched for the source. Jinhwan whined obviously not pleased with the sound it made. Jinhwan then got up and grabbed the alarm clock which was right beside his ears and yawned. He looked up to see Chanwoo standing up, looking at the older clueless.

Jinhwan just chuckled at the maknae. "You're still here" he smiled at the fact. Chanwoo gave back a smile. God, how Jinhwan loved that smile. It was supposed to be his smile. All the scene happened yesterday came back into his memories and he wished it was all just a dream. He wished everything would go back to normal, but he can't ignore that. Not when he knows that the man he loves the most is giving his heart to someone else, someone that is not Kim Jinhwan himself.

"Of course, hyung. I would never leave you" Chanwoo replied joining him again on Jinhwan's bed. Jinhwan frowned at that statement. He knows that was a blatant lie. "But.. aren't you gonna leave me anyways?" Jinhwan asked with a straight face as he looked away from Chanwoo. The latter sighed at the question.

Jinhwan did say that they will pretend nothing has happened only for the night and it was already 8 in the morning. Chanwoo wasn't quite ready to decide on what he should do but he needs to. Jinhwan is hurting because of him.

"Hyung, I don't want to hurt you anymore.." Chanwoo started off with that statement as he held Jinhwan's hands. Jinhwan went to face Chanwoo but his head was held low, he doesn't want to see the younger's face and Chanwoo understands.

"You have showed how much you loved me and cared for me and hyung, I do too. I have never stopped loving you. But I think... I think I have turned to love you and Yunhyeong hyung too in the process. I love the both of you. That may sound selfish and ridiculous to you, but this is how I feel. But even so, I know this hurts you hyung.. and I don't want to see you hurt especially when I am the cause. So I decided.." Chanwoo gulps before he could continue his bundle of words. Jinhwan finally looks to his direction after the pause causing Chanwoo's heart to beat faster. He doesn't know how the older will react.

"Hyung, I think we need to end this. I don't deserve you at all, and I don't want you to suffer because of how I feel. It's b-better if we- end this." Chanwoo finally got the courage to say. Jinhwan stayed silent and looked away again and lets go of Chanwoo's hands. Chanwoo felt his heart clenching seeing his reaction.

"So you chose him, huh?" Jinhwan concluded not even looking at Chanwoo. "N-No! Hyung, that's not fair for you. I decided that I shouldn't have both you or Yunhyeong hyung. I will just- not have any of you. I have caused too much for the group too. Everyone is suffering because of me." Chanwoo tried to explain. Jinhwan scoffed at the younger.

"This wouldn't have happened if you hadn't fell for that ! Everything would have been fine! You could have just loved me and only me but no you just couldn't, could you?!" Jinhwan shouted at him with tears streaming from his eyes. Chanwoo could only nod because he agreed, he was the cause of all of this. It was all his fault.

"Why c-couldn't you just leave him for.. me?" Jinhwan say as he sobs. Chanwoo didn't know what to answer so he stayed silent and wiped the tears of his face full of fond. He hates seeing him like this.

"Then he would get hurt too, hyung. I'm sorry.." Chanwoo replied. Jinhwan pushed Chanwoo's hands from his face immediately and distanced himself from the younger.

"How about me? I am also hurt! Don't you care??" Jinhwan shouted with more tears streaming down his face. Chanwoo was left speechless so after seeing his reaction, it was clear Chanwoo didn't have anything else to say. Jinhwan took a deep breath before finally get his words out.

"Please.. leave." Jinhwan demanded between his sobs. Chanwoo went closer to the latter and looked at him with his pleading eyes. "Hyung, please.. let me explain." Jinhwan shook his head. He doesn't want to hear any of it.

"Explain what?! Everything is already clear and the more you speak the more harder it is for me to breathe. Please, just.. leave" It was very clear to Chanwoo how exhausted he was, he really wanted to comfort him. He doesn't want to end it this way.

"Hyu-"

"LEAVE!!" Jinhwan shouted as loud as he could. He has had enough of him today. He just wanted to suffer in peace. Chanwoo took a glance at the older with a look of empathy. He wanted to help but maybe it was for the better that he leaves. He has caused enough misery for Jinhwan. So he gets up, gave the older one last look for a couple of seconds as he sighed and approached the door to leave. But before he held the handle of the door he took a quick look at Jinhwan and said

"I'm very sorry, hyung. You don't deserve any of this." as he left the older and give him his time alone. Jinhwan screamed to his pillow as he cries even more.

 

"Chanwoo-ah" Yunhyeong called when he saw Chanwoo came into their dorm looking very stressed and exhausted. Chanwoo didn't bother to reply but he was grabbed by the hands.

"What happened? Are you okay?" Yunhyeong asked worried. Chanwoo let go from his grip and sighed. "I don't feel like talking, hyung. Please leave me alone." Chanwoo begged helplessly before he finally got into his room.

Yunhyeong sighed at what he just witnessed. The next couple of days will be one hell of a week.

 

Yunhyeong knocked the door of Chanwoo's room but didn't even bother to wait for an answer. He just barges himself in. He was thankful that Hanbin collected all of their keys to avoid everyone from locking themselves in their room.

He saw Chanwoo on his bed staring at nothing. Yunhyeong sighed and approached him with the food he had just made for the youngest.

"I made you the sandwich you always brag about," Yunhyeong announced with a giggle. "Also the banana milk you are obsessed with" Yunhyeong continued as he placed them in his drawer. Chanwoo obviously didn't show interest in anything he said as there was no response. He then joined Chanwoo as he sat on his bed and held his hand.

"I hate that you're keeping things to yourself" Yunhyeong confessed. Chanwoo looked at the latter but he showed no emotions in his face. "Thanks, hyung. Please don't worry about me." Chanwoo managed to say. Yunhyeong pouted at his reply, circling his thumb around Chanwoo's hand.

"But I want to help you, Chanwoo" Yunhyeong insisted. Chanwoo let go of his hands and got up from his position. "Hyung. Not now." Chanwoo begged. Instead of listening, Yunhyeong lies himself on his bed facing the ceiling.

"I know I am involved. So I'm not going anywhere until you tell me" Yunhyeong sulked and Chanwoo groaned at him. "Hyung you're being very annoying now" Chanwoo stated truthfully. Yunhyeong got up and looked at his way.

"I'd rather be annoying than seeing you like this." Yunhyeong confessed making the younger's heart skipped a beat but he took away those thoughts and just went with it.

"Me and Jinhwan hyung.. broke up." Chanwoo announced causing Yunhyeong to gasp. "Why??" He asked very curious. In other cases, Yunhyeong should be happy, but how could he seeing how sad the maknae was. Chanwoo frowned as he didn't feel like answering but he knows Yunhyeong was a stubborn one.

"I hurt him. It's what I must do so he won't get hurt again." Chanwoo answered shortly. Yunhyeong looked at him concerned. "I caused this in a way. I'm sorry, Chanu-ya." Yunhyeong apologized. Chanwoo just sighed and gave him a shrug.

"It already happened. Please don't blame yourself. I don't want to see you in that state too.." Chanwoo admitted. Yunhyeong could see how exhausted the younger was. He didn't want to add to his concerns so he just stayed silent and gets up from the bed.

"Please eat something and get some rest, okay?" Yunhyeong said before finally leaving the maknae alone.





 

It has been 5 days since Chanwoo and Jinhwan last spoke to each other. It's also been 5 days since the dorm has been quieter than usual. Everyone knows what was happening. Yunhyeong felt like the rest needs to know what was going on so he did tell them, starting from Hanbin.

Yunhyeong noticed that Hanbin wasn't at all pleased by their breakup. He also noticed that Hanbin didn't really reacted well, almost as if he blamed Yunhyeong for it because he immediately shuts everything away when Yunhyeong wasn't even done talking.

But Yunhyeong didn't care. Nobody would understand. Nobody knows how it feels like, loving someone and having to see them with someone else and pretending to be okay for it. Nobody, not even Hanbin.

 

"Hyung, please.." Hanbin begged on Jinhwan's bed. "I know how things has been hard for you. But I need you to be strong because if you keep doing this, you're not only hurting yourself but also the 6 of us." Hanbin begged some more. Jinhwan looked at the leader and he felt bad for him. It's not he doesn't want to but he just couldn't even get himself up from the bed. He doesn't know what an interview would lead him to.

"Hanbin-ah, I-I just- don't know if I'm ready" Jinhwan replied. He doesn't know if he is ready to act like everything is fine, what he will do when he sees Chanwoo, or let alone when both of them start inte