22 December 2018, Ewha Women's University

At this point, Nancy didn’t really know what to think. She had done everything she thought was necessary in a break. She gave Yeonwoo all the space she could ever need, even going as far as minimizing all friendly interaction that could be taken the wrong way…all because she didn’t want the older girl to think that she was taking advantage of the situation or overstepping any boundaries.

She didn’t even say anything to Yeonwoo when the older girl had taken some time off citing health issues for her hiatus; instead choosing to wordlessly cry her eyes out into the reassurance of JooE’s unquestioning embrace the night after the MBC Plus X Genie Music Awards. She knew that would come to bite her in the the next day when she showed up to the airport with swollen, bloodshot eyes. She was just so grateful her roommate was so quick to jump in and provide her comfort without really asking any questions.

And she had been fine for a little while. She’d been taking the time off to become closer with all the other members in their group as well. She had especially grown fond of Nayun again. It had been a while since she and the girl with 4D contrasting charms had spent time together, especially due to the latter’s problems with vertigo. She hadn’t really seen her for about a quarter of the year. She had almost forgotten how good it felt when she was with Nayun…because with Nayun, Nancy was provided with the kind of solace she only ever found elsewhere in her own mother.

But then she would find Yeonwoo playing her hot and cold.

Like today for example, Yeonwoo seemed so eager to save her when they were playing Pop-up Pirate. And then Yeonwoo immediately ran towards her (and Nayun) when they were asked to group themselves as part of a game. After that, Yeonwoo ostensibly looked so disappointed thinking that she let the younger girl down during the ball relay they played with spoons. Things like that made Nancy feel like maybe a little break was all they needed, that maybe all the time they spent apart was going to be worth it...because in the end, both of them could be together again. Yet at the end of the fanmeet, she didn’t miss the way the statuesque beauty had purposefully avoided grazing her even in the slightest as they had wrapped up their activities.

It was starting to get on her nerves.

But she told herself to be patient. She didn’t want to drive the person that meant the most to her away in the other direction. She was in this for the long haul. Nancy would hang around forever if she had to, because she knew Yeonwoo was worth the wait.

The ride back to the dorms was rather quiet. Everyone was dead tired after their very first fanmeet, and everyone just wanted to catch up on some much needed sleep. She went straight to her room, scuffling through her things to take something out, while JooE was gently snoring on her bunk. She’d have to remember to wake up her roommate to wash up later after she did.

Nancy quietly snuck out into the common area, and took a peak into Yeonwoo’s room. She found the older girl sprawled over her bed, tangled in messy sheets. She could see a soiled makeup remover wipe crumpled in the older girl’s fist. The raven-haired vixen hadn’t even bothered changing out of the clothes they left the auditorium in. The American softly giggled as she saw a little drool peaking out of the corner of the older girl’s lips, while musing to herself ‘She must be dead tired’

The younger girl still thought Yeonwoo looked nothing short of spectacular. And the thought of how it had been a while since she was able to see this side of the older girl’s unguarded beauty broke her heart a little.

Nancy’s eyes grazed over the slits of Yeonwoo’s eyes, to the graceful slope of her nose down the soft curve of her lips…the older girl’s golden skin perfectly reflecting the soft glow of the lamp. She swore she could map the vixen’s image from her memory. She knew every sly crinkle, every luscious arch and every delicious indentation.  She had learned by heart all sections where the older girl’s beauty marks lay, and could point them out without fail. She had images of her own soft flesh of alabaster delightfully pressed against toned sun-kissed skin basking underneath the moonlight burned into her memory. And yet, the thing she still missed the most was seeing her beloved like this.

A side of Dabin that had all her defenses down, that she radiated such delicate innocence…moments of fragility that the older girl had only ever bared to her.

She sighed as she looked away. Nancy knew she wouldn’t be able to see the girls for a few days over the holidays, and she didn’t know how else to do this while directly interacting with the older girl, so she had settled on this instead.

She put an 8-bit NanoBlock figure she had put together of White Beard encased in clear acrylic box on the older girl’s vanity. Nancy felt that it would go well together with the 8-bit NanoBlock figures of Luffy and Zoro that Yeonwoo already had on display. On top of the box had a little card that read

‘Merry Christmas, Unnie!

Hoping you have happy

holidays ahead of you!

Much Love,

Nancy’

Nancy gingerly dragged her finger on top of the transparent box before letting go, her eyes automatically gazing back onto the only person who made her heart beat faster and slower at the same time.

She crouched down, to get a closer look at Yeonwoo’s face, and willed herself using every fiber of her being not to just press her lips against the delectable pair the older girl possessed. Instead choosing to brush away the stray hairs covering the ephemeral softness the raven-haired beauty possessed whilst in her slumber.

The young girl pressed a deep kiss against Yeonwoo’s temple, whispering “I miss you so much, Dabin…you don’t even know half of it.” she rested her forehead on where she had planted a kiss “But I promise that better days are coming.”

Nancy murmured into the older girl’s hair before quietly making an exit “I love you.”

A tear had trickled down Yeonwoo’s cheek that night…but it wasn’t her own.

----------

28 December 2018, Bowling Bowling Alley

“Hey, Yeonwoo-unnieeeeeeee, let’s call it a day. PLEASE~~~” JooE begged as she stretched her body against the couch

“Easy for you to say, you’ve gotten a lot of strikes in already. My ball just kept on going to the gutter” Yeonwoo huffed as she bowled another ball. It looked like it was about to make it—

—but it landed straight in the gutter.

The raven haired beauty let out a heavy sigh. She was a track star in elementary, why couldn’t she just stick to the 400m relay? Why did her dumb have to volunteer for bowling too? Right…it kept her busy, and kept the dark thoughts away. She blew a stray hair that had gotten in her face.

 

“You know it’s just ISAC. It’s not like we’re training to be competitive bowlers. As long as we’re not in last place, we’ll be fine.”

“You do realize that with the rate I’m going, you’re basically just a one-man team, right?” the older girl gestured towards her enemy for the day…their lane’s vile gutter
 

“Well, the time with our coach is done for today. He has another student coming in a bit. So let’s just go back to the dorm, okay? We still have a couple of weeks to go anyway” the cheery girl whined

Yeonwoo absentmindedly waved off her junior off “Just go on ahead, I know how to make my way home. I already paid an extra hour to keep our lane anyway”

“Suit yourself” JooE shrugged as she started packing her things

Yeonwoo bowled another gutter. She clicked her tongue against the roof of and placed a hand on her hip. It wasn’t long before she felt a sudden hug from behind.

“Take care on your way home. Okay, unnie?” JooE forcefully planted a wet kiss on the older girl’s wide forehead

“Aghhh!!! JooE, you punk!” Yeonwoo wiped off the slight dampness with the back of her hand as she watched her mischievous companion cackle away. As she turned to face her lane, her eyes accidentally landed on her coach’s new student who had just arrived.

She remembered him. They used to go to the same high school around the same time. She had been on his radio show a couple of times, and they were guests in the same variety show earlier in the year. They were really nothing more than acquaintances at this point, but it really wasn’t as if anyone could forget those fine dyed tresses on skin so smooth people likened it to rice cakes. It was none other than NCT’s resident Valentine Boy, Jaehyun Jung. She slightly bowed, muttering a little “Oh, hello.”

The boy returned the bow and then greeting “Ah. Hello to you as well. It’s been a while.”

“Ah yes, it has.” She let out a weak smile before turning away to face her own lane, refocusing on the task at hand.

Following 30 minutes of bowling balls going straight the gutter, Yeonwoo groaned to herself in frustration. She plopped down the couch and uncapped her water bottle for a little sip. She decided to see how her coach was doing with his new student, in hopes of her maybe learning something.

Strike

Strike

Strike

She suddenly couldn’t help but feel like such a failure. Some people were just so good at everything. They were so naturally gifted that they didn’t even have to try. It made hard-workers like her feel horrendous. It made her remember how worthless she was next to people like that…it reminded her of how she could never catch up to them, not matter how hard she tried. And how she’d never be good enough for people like that. People like Jaehyun. People like…

Nancy.

The thought made her entire body go cold, and she felt her hands turn clammy. She was suddenly thankful she was seated because she felt her legs turn to jelly, and her heart began to race so fast she could have sworn it was going straight out of her chest. It was almost like she couldn’t breathe. She had talked to the doctor about this last month. She frantically racked her brain trying to counteract what she was beginning to feel, lest she break down in public.

‘Take a deep breath.’

Yeonwoo remembered all of a sudden. She inhaled and took in a long deep breath through her nostrils, silently repeating the process until she could feel air filling her lungs again. Once she had composed herself,  she ended up blankly staring at the lane in front of her, her practice all forgotten…trying her best to not let her thoughts once again race to wander in the deepest and darkest recesses of her mind.

“Noona?” a deep velvety voice called from behind, breaking her reverie

“Huh?” she looked up to see Jaehyun, with all his belongings already packed in his bag. He looked like he was already headed off.

“The time for your lane is up. And the coach already went ahead.”

‘How long was I gone for…?’ she pondered to herself

“Noona…are you sure you’re okay?”

“Huh? Yeah, no, don’t worry about me. I’m fine.” She distractedly replied, slowly stuffing her gear into her bag, and changing back into her sneakers.

She noticed the boy walking away from the corner of her eye.

 When she was ready to leave, she was quite surprised to see her old schoolmate standing all alone by the exit. She couldn’t help but as “Oh, are you waiting for someone?”

He lightly scratched the back of his head “If you have five minutes to spare, noona, can you follow me for a bit? I swear it won’t take long. And you can stay about a couple of meters behind me so uh…people won’t talk”

  Yeonwoo quirked her brow ‘What could this be about…?’ She knew it could potentially spell trouble, but the Valentine Boy had such a pristine reputation. She decided to go along with it, muttering a slight “Okay”

After putting on their respective masks and caps, Jaehyun walked out the building.

The older girl gave him a two minute lead before shortly following. She saw him turn to a corner, and enter an establishment’s door. Yeonwoo narrowed her eyes, she couldn’t see what the establishment was, but out of curiosity decided to follow through. She opened the door, to see his broad back facing her. He turned around and gently smiled at her with his eyes, as she found herself in “…an animal shelter?” she inquired as she pulled down her mask to her chin.

He nodded as he scanned the shelter. The shelter attendant was nowhere to be seen, so they were all alone there together, save for some cats and dogs behind glass panes He slightly pulled his mask down to be able to speak clearly “Yeah, just have a look around”

Yeonwoo’s dad had just brought a new puppy home. They had been slowly starting on mending their relationship, especially in the last few months. And although the effort was appreciated, part of her still had trouble putting her faith 100% in her father. Her eyes roamed around the area with the felines until one Balinese cat caught her attention. It seemed rather surprised that their eyes met and jumped back, having a comically astonished look on its face. Yeonwoo couldn’t help but break out in her signature comically bizarre nasally laughter.

Jaehyun let out a soft smile as he looked at her. How amused she looked now was a far cry from the lost, and almost seemingly empty shell he found earlier. He looked away, choosing to stare at the dogs as he trailed “You know, noona? You don’t have to keep it all in…”

Yeonwoo shot him a questioning look. But she was sharp enough to understand that her old school junior had brought her here to raise her spirits. She didn’t really need to say anything. It’s not like he deserved an explanation. They weren’t really friends, and they were barely even acquaintances, but she somehow found herself stripping down fragments of her soul to him “It’s funny you say that, because that’s all I ever do…”

He tilted his head to the side in curiosity

“I’m the second eldest in the group, but the youngest in my family…and it’s hard having to adjust sometimes. Like I’m one of the unnies in the group, you know? I need to have it together. Or else, what good am I as an unnie to our maknaes?” she squatted down so she was closer to the floor

Jaehyun slightly nodded, motioning for her to continue.

“And most of the time, I can’t help but feel so dark and hopeless. And I don’t even know why, but lately everything has just seemed so bleak...almost as if things would never get better again.” She lightly pressed her hand against the glass, the Balinese slowly coming up to her

He looked at her so intently it was as if he was hanging on her every word.

“I know it probably sounds dumb, but there are times when I feel like the entire world doesn’t understand” the Balinese pressed its pa