Donghae was smiley.

If you asked any of his friends to tell something about that one cute guy, they’d immediately tell you about his smile. It was so bright and cheerful, that person could make people around him smile easily, without putting any effort in it. That was his gift.

And that was his curse.

He was loved, really loved by other people. They always were amazed at how he was able to smile even when it seemed impossible to do, but Donghae always thought that in every situation there has to be at least one person who will smile and cheer others. And that’s why, no matter what happened, he always tried to smile. Even when others took him as an idiot because of it.

His attitude caused to a lot of misunderstandings, even between people who knew him really well and knew the reasons why he kept smiling. Sometimes people weren’t able to take him seriously. Even his friends.

Even his closest friend.

Donghae and Hyukjae have been friends since their young years. Their birthdates were separated by a few months, yet Hyukjae always loved to highlight he was older. Donghae didn’t mind. He followed his friend everywhere, after all; he followed everything Hyukjae said, and some people really thought they were brothers.

Hyukjae wanted to climb the mountain? Donghae agreed, even though he was afraid of height.

Hyukjae decided to go camping? Donghae was allergic to some flowers that were blooming during that period, but still went with him, even though he kept sneezing, making the latter worried.

Hyukjae wanted to learn how to dance? Donghae followed.

Hyukjae chose a certain university to study in? Donghae enrolled with him.

Hyukjae fell in love? Donghae did so too.

The only difference was that Hyukjae fell in love with a girl who studied biology in the university they studied in. And Donghae fell in love with Hyukjae.

It took him long time to realize it, but even though he tried hard, the guy couldn’t figure out when everything changed, when his feelings changed. When he started following Hyukjae everywhere not only because they were friends and Donghae didn’t mind when his friend took the lead, but because he was actually looking for more opportunities to spend time together?

Did it happen when Donghae was hospitalized and couldn’t attend school for almost a month? Even though he was a talkative kid, somehow it was hard for him to adapt to the situation when there were a lot of people whom he didn’t know, so he kept spending time alone. Hyukjae, his best friend, the best he could only wish for, kept visiting him every day, even though it was oh so inconvenient; the hospital Donghae was in located way too far from the boy’s home, but he didn’t mind. Hyukjae kept visiting him every day, and even helped the younger to find friends there. It wasn’t hard for Hyukjae to get to know someone, but it was hard for him to open up, and as much as Donghae was thankful for his friend helping him to talk to more people, deep inside he felt proud to be the only one who knew all Hyukjae’s secrets. Maybe that happened that time. Maybe not.

Or did it happen when they were about to go to a school prom? Their school decided it’d be so cool if the seniors will dance their last waltz in front of their proud parents, and of course Hyukjae and Donghae, known for their dancing abilities, were chosen to dance as well. The teacher even asked Hyukjae, whom his friend considered as the best dancer ever, to teach others the choreography and think about how the dance should be. Hyukjae agreed. He stayed up till late hour and spent most of his time in the practice room, being a responsible student who wanted the dance to look the best, even if it wasn’t the hardest dance ever. Donghae stayed with him and helped him as much as he could. Sometimes, when Hyukjae was too deep into his thoughts, he grabbed Donghae’s hand, making his friend to dance along with him.

They’ve danced so many times together; bodies close, Hyukjae’s breathe felt on Donghae’s ear, sending shivers down the younger’s spine. Hand into hand, their faces a few centimeters away from each other. Apparently, they were way too close, there was no way other students would dance like this. Yet, they didn’t care. Or Hyukjae didn’t. Because Donghae shivered every time his friend caressed his hair, thinking if they should include this move or not; he stopped breathing every time Hyukjae’s hand his back; he bit his lip every time his friend’s face was so close to his own.

Sometimes things seemed to go so far, even Hyukjae felt a bit awkward because of what they’ve been doing. But he always had Donghae, who smiled and made it seem like a joke, so he didn’t need to be bothered. And Donghae hoped he wasn’t.

Maybe he fell in love during that period of time. Maybe he didn’t. Love isn’t a simple thing; it’s not always easy to realize you have feelings towards someone. And it was even harder to accept.

Donghae tried to forget about his feelings for so long, he kept telling himself it was wrong. Maybe he just imagined things. No, no, no, it was impossible. There was no way for him to be in love with his best friend. Impossible. Unacceptable. Wrong.

Yet, that was true.

He fell in love with his best friend. And he could do nothing about it.

Once Donghae accepted the fact that he fell in love with his best friend, he suddenly couldn’t understand how was it even possible not to love him.

Hyukjae was funny. He always knew how to lighten up the younger’s mood. He was smart. He even was willing to help Donghae and others when they failed with their studies. He was kind. Whoever asked for his help, always got it. Hyukjae was nice. He always knew what to do to make others feel better, he always knew when to act cute or when to be serious, and it just made others like him even more. He was… handsome. Not only Donghae, but a lot of people admired it, and the way the guy behaved somehow made him look even more attractive. His attitude was attractive. His personality was attractive. He was attractive.

He was wonderful. Amazing, incredible, charming. He was stunning.

Donghae realized he hasn’t had a chance to not fall in love with him, and he couldn’t understand how could someone not to see what he saw.

He felt hurt once Hyukjae told him he likes that girl from the faculty of biology. But when the girl rejected him, he was here for his friend and felt so mad at that girl. She apparently was blind, there was no chance she could find anyone better than Hyukjae.

Donghae didn’t even feel happy once his friend got rejected. Because he wanted nothing, but happiness for him, and if he was going to be happy with that girl, Donghae didn’t mind. Because he loved him. And he didn’t even bother to confess because he convinced himself there was no chance for them to be together.

At least he thought so.

But one day life just showed him how cruel it can be. Hyukjae, with whom, Donghae thought, they’ve never had a chance to be together, announced he has a crush on someone.

And that someone appeared to be a man.

Donghae remembered all the mixed feelings he felt that moment. He was happy for his friend because this time it seemed to be mutual. But he also was sad. He was scared. He felt pathetic.

It just meant that whole this time he actually had a chance to be together with a person he loved so much, but for some reasons… for some reasons Hyukjae never considered him as someone he could date.

Donghae remembered all the moments they shared when just one move could change everything. He remembered how many times they were so close to each other they could kiss, but every time he smiled and hugged Hyukjae instead. He remembered how many times they’ve talked about their feelings, including romantic ones, and there were a lot of opportunities for Donghae to confess, but no. Every time he just smiled, or laughed, and said that he didn’t find a right person yet. He said that maybe he wasn’t born for these feelings, after all.

Even though every time he just wanted to let Hyukjae know about everything, about how deep his feelings were. But every time he just kept convincing himself there wasn’t a chance for them to be together.

He was wrong then? And what he had to do?

He didn’t know. Didn’t know.

And that’s why that time, instead of saying anything, Donghae just smiled and said, “Congratulations. I hope this time everything will turn out well for you.”

And then he kept beating his own pillow at home, cursing at himself and thinking whether everything could change if once, just once, he didn’t smile back foolishly, but actually talked to Hyukjae and confessed. But maybe…

Maybe nothing would change, since Donghae told so many times that he loves Hyukjae. He kept saying those words from time to time, and apparently… apparently Hyukjae never took him seriously.

And that was the biggest problem.

Donghae didn’t know what to do. Hyukjae was quite simple when it came to relationships; none of those lasted long. Every time he kept saying that maybe he didn’t find a right person yet, so Donghae rarely met any of his lovers. And every time when Hyukjae broke up with someone, Donghae couldn’t help, but considered it as his chance. However, his friend never took him seriously. Years passed; it’s been one year since they graduated from the university, and Hyukjae still didn’t take him seriously.

Donghae was desperate. He didn’t know what to do, so he tried really hard to prove Hyukjae that he was actually a man of his word. Not like he was careless before, but now he tried to show his friend how serious he could be. And if him always smiling and laughing off every situation was the problem, he wanted to prove that it wasn’t.

Hyukjae once said that Donghae should change his hair color.

“Blonde would suit you so much,” he said, knowing that Donghae hated dyeing his hair.

“You think so?” the latter laughed after hearing that. “I’ll do it then.”

“Yeah,” his friend chuckled, not believing him. “Of course you will.”

Donghae couldn’t help, but chuckled the moment he saw Hyukjae’s wide eyes once the latter saw him with blonde hair the next day. You could tell he didn’t expect Donghae to do it, and the latter considered it as his first little win.

Maybe that was a bit silly, but he was sure that if he will continue doing those small things, then later, little by little, Hyukjae will start taking him seriously. And all Donghae’s ‘I love you’ won’t be taken as granted, won’t be treated carelessly. Because even when Donghae tried to make his confession sound serious, Hyukjae just hugged him and said, “I know. And you know I love you too, right?”

Donghae knew. Of course he knew.

But he also knew that Hyukjae meant a different form of love when he talked about it with his friend, and no matter how hard the latter tried to change it, that never worked.

Time flew by; Hyukjae kept dating someone and breaking up after some time, and it somehow became even harder for Donghae to hide his feelings, but his friend seemed to be blind about it. Even though their mutual friends started noticing those feelings as well.

The first one was Heechul. Of course it was him, he was their closest friend among others, after all; and he kind of volunteered to be the one who will take care about Donghae, even when the younger didn’t ask about it. He noticed all the looks the blonde guy sent to his friend, noticed all the seriousness Donghae put into his words whenever he talked about his feelings to Hyukjae.

“It’s such a pity he doesn’t notice it too,” Heechul said when they were having a conversation about it and discussed what Donghae has to do in order for his friend to finally realize that he was sincere.

However, even that moment Donghae just smiled and said nothing.

Hyukjae was in a relationship again. Donghae didn’t know much about that person, not like he wanted to. But at the same time he didn’t care too much because he assumed they’ll break up in a few months. From what Hyukjae told him, that person wasn’t his type at all, and there was no chance for them to be together for a long time, and the blonde guy was sure that soon a person whose name he didn’t even care to memorize will disappear from Hyukjae’s life. He was positive about it.

Until one day.

It was Heechul’s birthday party. Donghae has already came and congratulated his friend, asking if Hyukjae showed up. He didn’t, but it was okay; Donghae could wait. He has been waiting for him for so long, after all.

However, that day was the first time when he wasn’t happy once his friend appeared. Because he was not alone this time, but with a guy, and somehow Donghae felt that wasn’t for good. And he was right.

“Nice to see you too. Happy birthday!” Hyukjae said to Heechul once the latter met him near the entrance. Then he looked at the guy who was standing beside him and smiled fondly. “And this is Ryeowook. My boyfriend.”

Donghae suddenly felt like all the music that was playing became quiet, and the surface escaped out of his legs, even though none of the above happened. Heechul seemed as shocked, as his friend was.

“Wow,” he said, and looked at Ryeowook quickly, turning back to Hyukjae again. “Nice to meet him, huh… Didn’t expect you to be with someone though.”

Hyukjae chuckled awkwardly, and then looked at his boyfriend fondly again. Donghae felt as if someone hit him.

“I figured it’s time for him to meet my friends,” Hyukjae said eventually. “This time everything’s serious, after all.”

Heechul sent him a questioning look, and that time Ryeowook spoke, “We’re planning to move in together soon.”

Everyone’s eyes widened after hea